Back Of The Lot

kwTruckstop Elegies.

Back of the lot, the quiet part of the place, and I find myself once again swimming in familiar waters, I am at home here, I am at ease.  I used to be a trucker, although this breed here now, is totally different.

Been doing a little reading, some idle time staring out the window, relaxing.  I am finishing up on Management Principles of Attila The Hun and will move onto some other suitable written fare.

I have another waiting in the wings, “Snark:  It’s mean, it’s personal and it’s ruining our conversation.” Simon & Schuster, 122 pgs, about $16  written by David Deny.  It is about the Internet and the Cheap Shot everyone seems to want to take these days, may be pretty good, I will let you know.  Hey it beats the news, nothing good in the news here lately, except for Ol’ Shorty leaving town … He sure is taking a long time to say good-bye.

Nice to just be able to sit back and read a little, get away from the house, the television set, the barking dogs, and the ghetto bird (Police helicopter overhead). Weather is better here, not real cold, like up state in Oklahoma.

I am reminded of a trip about four years ago, some fifteen days in nature, a little over 3,000 miles and we NEVER turned the Television in the RV on one time. We just sit here in our old clunker and minded our own business, both of us into our rituals.  At peace with the world.

Ah peace — nothing quite like it.

Y’know, Attila was a pretty nasty dude, don’t believe I would like to be on his bad side. Nowadays, people don’t get really bad sounding names, it is just not “Politically Correct” or something.

You can no longer have a Alexander The Great, Or Napoleon the Conquer, Ginghus Khan.  We have George Herbert Walker Bush, George W. Bush, Jeb Bush, nothing all that spectacular about any of those.

I wonder how old Shorty will be remembered, he certainly will not come under the heading of “Great.”  That is for sure, most likely “George The Mediocre” or “George The Storyteller” something like that, I think “Scumbag” has been already reserved.

Will history be kind to Bush, will he get his famous moniker?  I suppose it is fitting, super-hero’s get the super names, and feckless politicians get the rest, it seems only right.  If Bro George did achieve the status of a Super Hero (very doubtful) he would be required to wear his underwear on the “outside” of his costume.

I would almost bet the farm on that one.

Any of you remember that episode of Sienfield where George Kastanza double dipped the chip?  In that episode Kastanza double dips this chip into some dip and this other guy observes him do it and then the hostilities begin.  Some amusing stuff.

Turns out that there could be some validation to the stopping of this practice.  Personally I feel as if double dipping your chip into the communal bowl is just not cool.  Preliminary results from an international study indicates that double dipping can transfer up to 10,000 bacteria from a partygoer’s mouth to the salsa or guacamole bowl.

So consider this, “if you are at a party, and you are contemplating taking part in the festivities and the dip bowl, look around the room and ask yourself, would I be willing to kiss everyone here?


Some of my friends are ragging me about “not calling them as much” and they have good reason, I am not using my cellphone all that much anymore.  We don’t have a land line, we have two cellphones, and that is it.  I keep reading all of these articles and studies on the cellphone and when I read that a Pittsburgh Cancer Institute recently warned all of its employee’s to stop the use of the phones or to cut back on their use because of brain tumors.  That was enough for me.  I am still using mine but it is on speaker phone and that is it, no more putting it up to the ear.

Better to be safe than sorry.

Anyone watch Sex In The City, a popular sitcom on television, believe they run it on Bravo Channel.  Then there is real life.  New Yorkers it seems are infected with STD’s and one in four have genital herpes.  Herpe’s is treatable, but once you get it, you are stuck with it, it doesn’t go away.  The virus can lead to bigger health problems.  Genital herpes will create a lot of sores in places that are, let us say are extremely uncomfortable, and it also fosters the spread of HIV.

Here is another new problem for men.  A recent study indicates that men do not perform well with “beautiful women” and contact with these beauties actually can lead to depression.  Looking at photos of models in bikinis in magazines such as Maxim and FHM made men feel unworthy of such beauties, and therefore inadequate and lonely.

Too many issues to deal with for me.

I am going to stay here in the Heartland and mind my own business, no sex in the city or Super Models for me, just the familiar Friday Night whining of “Why won’t you put on the Monkey Mask?  C’mon Honey!

That works for me.

Been getting a lot of email concerning God and religion here lately, evidently everyone seems concerned about my heathenistic attitude and are worried about what is left of my soul.  If you want mail, lot’s of mail, just put up something vaguely mentioning God and/or religion and you will receive your fair share of mail.  And some of it will be good — and some of it will be from the nut jobs.

Be ready.

The back doors of the Mt. Olive Baptist Church exploded, and the room filled with excitement almost instantly.  One lady stood up and shrieked at the top of her lungs, “It is Satan, the Devil is here!” And people got up and started running for the nearest exits, the windows, over the pews, crawling over little children in their haste to evacuate the building.

Down at the front of the church, in the second pew, sat one lonely soul.

All alone in the empty building now, he didn’t seem all that concerned about it at all.  The Devil walked down the aisle, stood next to him, peered down and said, “Do you know who I am?”

The little man looked up, and said, “I sure do.  You are Satan, the Devil, that is who you are.” So then Satan says to him, “Why didn’t your run with the rest of those cowards?”

The little man looked up and said, “Hey man, I been married to your sister, for forty-three years.”

Later, me and the duck are gonna go for a walk now.


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