12 Days Of Christmas (audio)

We are kicking off Christmas Week here at Creative Endeavors, each day a different rendition of your favorite Christmas song …. And as is our practice and when practical, we will include “absolutely free” the lyric’s of each song.  Christmas Week At Creative Endeavors … From now until Christmas Day 2008. Tell all your friends and most importantly …. Enjoy.

12 Days Of Layoffs
(Parody of Twelve Days Of Christmas)

On the first day of Christmas my company gave to me
A pink slip for under the tree
On the second of Christmas my company gave to me
2 days to pack
And a pink slip for under the tree
On the third day of Christmas my company gave to me
3 Bic pens
Is that right 2 days to pack?
And a pink slip for under the tree
On the fourth day of Christmas, I gave my company
4 letter words
3 more pens
Well I’m gonna take this lamp too, then
And a pink slip for under the tree
On the fifth day of Christmas my company gave to me
5 days of sleep
4 letters words
3 bic pens
And this stapler and my coat rack and…
A pink slip for under the tree
On the sixth day of Christmas, my company gave to me
Six months of Cobra
5 days of sleep
Wake up you freaking monkey, it’s almost break time!
Oh, thanks. Is the roach coach here yet?
And a pink slip for under the tree
On the seventh day of Christmas my company gave to me
7 check a –bouncing
Oh, dear!
6 months of Cobra
5 days of sleep
I got your bonus right here!
3 lousy pens
I’m calling security
And a pink slip for under the tree
On the eighth day of Christmas my company gave to me
8 hours of drinking
I have never bounced a check in my life
5 day of sleep
You big Goofbag!
Bunch of Sticky notes
Can I at least keep thee pocket protector?
And a pink slip for under the tree
On the ninth day of Christmas my company gave to me
9 cans a cat food
8 hours of drinking
Could you not breathe on me please?
I can’t afford Cobra
5 days of sleep
4 festive words
3 Bic pens
Only 2 days to pack
And a pink slip for under the tree
I got a blue one
On the tenth day of Christmas my company gave to me
10 workers weeping,
There, there missy, it’s gonna’ get a lot worse than this
God, I hope my kids don’t get sick
Want some cat food?
5 days of sleep
Bite me!
Do I hear sexual harassment?
Would you help me carry this copier to my car, please?
And a pink slip for under the tree
On the eleventh day of Christmas my company gave to me
Eleventh hour pleading
10 workers weeping
You know I know a guy that’ll hire all three of you girls, sight unseen
And you get to work with a cobra, imagine that!
5 days of sleep
4 letter words
I ‘m warning you!
Can’t we all just get along?
And a pink slip for under the tree
On the twelfth day of Christmas my company gave to me
12 employees bumming
I know girls, I know
Say, you girls need a ride home? I got my par carked right out front?
Five days of sleep
I gave this place the best years of my life and they gave me the shaft!
And a pink slip for under the tree
Tree? What tree? We’re not gonna be able to afford a tree!
000

Thanks to KZOK 102.5 FM

Another Talking Head

wt200810292535130v2

They say that birds of a feather, they run together, and in this case it appears to be true.  Condolessa Rice is now starting to deny most everything as it did not happen just as her apparent hero has has been doing.

In an AP interview yesterday, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice spoke highly of U.S. reconstruction efforts in Iraq, stating, “We’ve done a lot of work to get these [reconstruction] structures right, and I think they finally are” — next question should be … Are what?

This statement was made a day after a scathing government report detailed massive waste and poor planning in U.S. reconstruction efforts. When asked about the abuse, Rice claimed that U.S. dollars have emerged unscathed:

Q: But the cost in terms of lives and in terms of the money and the
abuse of money – (inaudible) was money wasted, there was money that was
siphoned off, corruption and that kind of thing, you’re —

RICE: Not of American money. Not American money. I don’t
think that you will find that anybody is arguing that there was
corruption in the American programs.

Throughout the U.S. occupation of Iraq, billions in tax dollars have been lost due to corruption and incompetence. Some of the most egregious losses have been via “American programs”:

– The Coalition Provisional Authority delivered 363 tons of cash on an airplane, totaling $12 billion, to Iraq “without assurance the monies were properly used or accounted for.”
– The State Dept spent $36.4 million dollars on weapons and equipment that could not be accounted for because “invoices were vague and there was no backup documentation“.
– Top contractor KBR came under fire last year from government investigators for overpricing its contract by $2 billion, which, for example, included overstating labor costs by 51 percent.
– State Dept. employees testified in May 2008 that the U.S. “allowed corruption to fester at the highest levels of the Iraqi government,” resulting in the loss of billions in U.S. tax dollars.

The use of private contractors, a major source of the corruption, has skyrocketed under Bush. The government has spent $85 billion on contracts in Iraq and other countries in the first four years of the war. “Taxpayers have been bled dry with massive misuse of public dollars,” observed Sen. Byron Dorgan (D-ND), who has spearheaded investigations into waste, fraud, and abuse in Iraq.

Thus far, some $50 billion in taxpayer dollars have been spent on the reconstruction of Iraq, which anti-corruption watchdog Transparency International listed as the third-most corrupt nation in the world.

How much more Connie?  What color is the sky in your world?  Do they ever shut up on your planet?

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