Book Worm

girlread

If you were asked to, could you sum up your life in six words.

Think about it.

Six words.

There is a best seller out right now Not Quite What I Was Planning (Harper $16.95) that asks that very question.

The book is filled with six word phrases by the famous, and the not so famous, an interesting read.

Here are a few:

  • Joan Rivers, “Liars, hysterectomy didn’t improve sex life!”
  • Steven Colbert, “Well, I thought it was funny.”
  • Roy Blount, “Maybe you had to be there?”
  • There are countless examples in the book,
  • “Revenge is not living well.”
  • I wrote it all down somewhere?”
  • “Take a left turn, and then fly.”
  • On the playground, alone, 1970, today.”

I found it almost therapeutic in nature, a nice mull over on a cold winter day, lot cheaper than a couch session and a refill of Prozac.  Some of it is positive and with all things, some of it sad.  But it is still a good read, maybe something for the Christmas Wish List and that difficult person who you can never find the exact thing that is right.

Perhaps it is me, but I would rather fill my head with things of this nature, than to read the negative and the downtrodden thoughts of some idiot who has nothing better to do than poison pen every person on the net each day in some inane comments section.  It is stimulating and it gets me to thinking (often lifting me into a more positive frame of mind) about life.

What if today was your last day on earth?

Wouldn’t we tell our loved ones how much we really loved them, even though most of us rarely seem to get around to doing just that anymore.  In this age of super, instant communication, we still find ourselves distant and removed.

Wouldn’t we attempt to do something to make sure that we left the earth a better place than when we arrived?  If today was our last day, were there some items on the agenda that might help out someone that is less fortunate than you, that you might accomplish now?  Like maybe, giving away all of your remaining food to someone who was hungry?

On your last day …  Six little words.

“Outcast … Picked last.  Surprised them all.”

Check out the book it is a good read.

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Guess Who Is Coming To Dinner

Relatives can bring new meaning to the nations capitol and the papers are abuzz with rumors that Mr. Obama’s mother-in-law is going to move into the White House to take over the chore of raising the girls.  Sounds kind of strange “the first girls” but we have a pair of them now, don’t we?  Some idiots are even raising stink about putting the girls in “private schools” when Mr. Obama didn’t support vouchers for education.

Why not?  It is a parents “moral responsibility” to do the VERY BEST they can for their children, nothing wrong with it.  It is a natural reaction and parental right of passage.  So Mama is moving in with the clan?  Big deal.

Jay Leno said that “Joe Biden was right:  Hostile forces will test him (Obama) in the first few months.” And Letterman also jumped on the bandwagon this week with:  “A mother-in-law in the White House?  Honestly”  I thought this was the administration that was against terror?” Why not?  Marriage is just nature’s way of keeping people fighting (together) that are not total strangers.

I have it made, my mother-in-law lives in Taiwan, 18,000 miles away, she doesn’t speak English and we have never met.  Not like my neighbor Bill, who gets a call from his every other day and she always says …. “Guess who died?”  Who needs that?

My mother lives in California on the other side of the country, and she has called me consistently over the years, almost 50 of them, and she always says, “What time is it there?” and I always reply … “It is two hours different mom, it is always gonna be two hours different.”

Mothers.  I have always kind of secretly wished that I was born a girl, so I could be out on a drive with my mother, and pull into a Strip Joint for men and then say, “I will be right back, I just got to dash in and pick up my paycheck.”  But I am a sick puppy, everyone knows that.

Stupid crook time, I love stooooopid crooks!

Anchorage Alaska.   A robber here chose the wrong victims: a commercial fisherman and an amateur hockey player. The fight outside a hotel here included biting and scratching and ended with a knockout punch, and police said suspect Terry Butler woke up in a closet with a security guard standing over him. He was charged with assault and two counts of robbery.  The next time he asks someone “who had the steak and who had the fish?  Gimme your wallet!  He will be a little bit more considerate, I’ll bet.”

Grounded And Stuck On The Tarmac

Corporate jets are hitting the auction block, owners of private jets are rushing to put them up for sale.  Like rats leaving a sinking ship, it is not “fashionable” to have your own private jet these days.  In November 16% of all the jets in the private sector were up for sale, about 2,541 of them.

Channel Check

Dancin’ With The Stars wrapped up this week, the blond and the kid won it.  20.6 million viewers.  There was other good news … Rosie tanked on NBC which proves without a shadow of a doubt that American’s are tired of her rant. I kept thinking of that lipstick and farm animal line, what was that?  Oh never mind.

Britney is making a comeback, and I guess it is me, but somehow this time, I just kind of hope the kid can pull it off.  I am like that; secretly I yearned for years to have Charlie Brown kick that dog-gone football one time, before Lucy snatched it away!  Call me romantic or whatever, I always seem to be in the corner of the under-dog.  B’sides, she’s got nice ta-ta’s and Charlie Brown didn’t.

Bad Parenting 101

Cape Coral  Florida, kind of funny and at the same time, pretty sad.  An intoxicated man had his 9-year-old son take him on a beer run, authorities said. Joshua Fagan, 24, was arrested after police spotted a pickup truck drive onto a median. Fagan told officers he was teaching the boy to drive, but police said the man’s speech was slurred, his breath smelled of alcohol and he could not stand without swaying. An open case of beer was in the back seat, police said.

The highly inebriated passenger was sitting there with a Budweiser Label affixed to his forehead and told the officers, “It could not have been him, he was on the patch.” But I understand he went to jail anyway.  Did you notice?  He was “24” and his kid was “9” what does that tell you about the south?

Keep It Local

Some folks did not appreciate me picking on West “By Gawd” Virginia as they put it in their emails this week.  Said that I should look at my own home state, Oklahoma.  And they are right.  We aren’t so great. Here you go!  A quick snap-shot of the Sooner Nation (as they call it), the Home of The Grapes Of Wrath, OU Football and Mattress Bros. Furniture where you always get the best deal on a bedroom workbench (you figure it out, it’ll come to ya).

Our recently looted basketball team from the Northwest that we paid “millions for” is currently losing, rather steady like, and is now ranked what?  79th in the nation.  But they are still picking up our trash it just costs more now.  All the Republican bloggers have grown strangely quiet and reserved since the election and have settled down into a sort of quiet before the storm mode. Their collective yawp has diminished some. If you are an Okie on an airliner and it starts a rapid decent, and you are destined to crash, you do not know if you are going to heaven or hell …. All you know is you will be going thru Dallas first.  That is still the same.

The rising tide of the Obama win didn’t lift our boats all that much, we have our share of homeless, churches struggling to feed people, we are now first in highest percentage of uninsured families in the country (health care), first in locking women up in our prisons, and believe it or not, we are first in grandparents raising school age children in the nation.  We used to be first in teenage pregnancy and/or divorces, but I have not heard anything on those items lately, will let you know.

Most of the big name stores at the Mall have moved out, loaded to the gills with shoe stores now.  In bad times, about the only constant is shoes, people can still afford a pair of shoes.  Not much more than that.  Don’t seem to find any pennies in the parking lots anymore.  People are stopping to pick them up and put them in their pockets now, months ago, they laid there ripe for the picking, now they are scarce.

New Chevy Dealer opened north of town, but GM won’t floorplan him any inventory.  How do you run a car dealership without cars, this a new wrinkle in our expanding, recovering, bailed out half-sunk economy?  The news still comes on at five.  It is as always, live, local, late breaking, and boring as well you know, why bother?

We lead or are now finding ourselves in the top 47th or 48th spot for heart attacks and obesity, ranked as one of the “most unhealthiest states in the USA” to live (thank God for Mississippi and Alabama and yes, West “By Gawd” Virginia, or we would be number one in that too), and we have more Indian Casino’s than anywhere in the country.

Yea Oklahoma … we are number one … Go Sooners.

(Now do you feel better?)

Sending our very best is the very least we can do.

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Broken Arrow 2008

pdpobka0001Look down at the watch on your wrist (most people have one) or the clock on the wall (most offices have one) and make a mental note of thirty minutes.

Got it?  Good.

Now all that worrying, all that concern, all that getting upset about nothing?  It is for naught.  All of this, every last minute of it, could be over in 22 minutes, 3o minutes tops.  That is how long it takes a missile launched from a Soviet Complex to reach the United States of America, about 22-28 minutes.

If that didn’t bother you, then perhaps this might.

A bipartisan Commission on the Prevention of Weapons of Mass Destruction Proliferation and Terrorism warns in a report that the U.S. can expect a nuclear or biological terrorist attack before the year 2013.  The commission held a conference in Washington DC this week to discuss this very issue.  Some pretty heavy stuff, no?

Remember the old 1996, Travolta Film with Christian Slater, “Broken Arrow” about the renegade Air Force pilot who comes across or steals a couple of nukes and holds the country for ransom.  We could be facing a similar situation right now with the thermonuclear electromagnetic explosion of a weapon in this country.  This is what the Armed Forces refer to as the “Real Estate Bomb” it virtually destroys anything electronic, but the buildings and infrastructure stay in place.

Does it really matter what country delivers it to us?

Not any more, thanks to several regimes of elected U.S. Policy mishandlers, just about every third world country in the world hates us now, so it just about open season on us.  They could put it on some tramp steamer they highjack bring it over to the coast of New Jersey, lob the device ashore on some dirt cheap Chinese missile, sink the boat and no one would ever be able to prove who it was that did it.

The scenario gets ugly just about any way we look at it.

A device detonated over the U.S. at an attitude of some 200-300 miles could put out an electromagnetic wave that would stop the country.  Utilities would shut down, computers, banking systems, television, radio, automobile electronics, water, sewer, just about anything would be completely shut down.

Nothing would move, no one would be able to shop, buy or purchase goods and or services, millions could possibly starve to death.  Virtually with the blink of an eye, our country could be back in the 19th Century, what was left of it that is.

What about a suitcase bomb, think that is possible.

Bring it into the country tucked into a truck container at a Los Angeles or San Francisco port, detonate it and 2 to 5 million are affected.  Don’t think it is possible?  When we helped Russia to disarm, and an inventory of their suitcase weapons was held, some 22 of them were missing and unaccounted for.

Reading the paper and seeing this “for real” discussion on Weapons of Mass Destruction (not the phony made up B.S. of Bush & Cheney) it made my skin crawl.  If you think the banking crisis is bad news, think about this, this threatens your very existence.  Homeland Security as screwed up as it seems to be right now, should be a top concern of Mr. Obama in his new administration.

If it isn’t now … It should be.

Now it isn’t all “bad news.”  There is something good here, something a little satisfying in it.  As I understand it, our nuclear submarines are numerous and in the case of an outbreak of all out war (such as this would be) they can stay under indefinitely and could every thirty to ninety days, come up close to the surface and lob one of these nasty suckers at those who did us wrong.

So long after we are fried to a crisp and no longer around, we have the satisfaction of knowing that our boys are delivering them right back to those evil doer’s (as Bush called them) with the consistency of a delivered pizza.

If you don’t get the first one in thirty minutes folks … The second one is free.

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