Tuesday Funnies

This morning as it is my nature, I took a stroll around the internet and found some interesting things.  I found out that Mr. Bush is still blaming everyone else for the ills that are infecting the country, and steadfast refuses to assume any kind of responsibility for any action on his part.

Two of his claims are a real hoot.

He says “Americans voted for Mr. Obama because of me.”  Which is ludicrous.  And number two this is really rich …  Now he is actually blaming other governments around the world for the invasion of Iraq.  Incredible. Like Margaret & Helen are so fond of saying …. “Sit down and shaddup.” More of his drivel here.

Now this next piece or comment is going to “sound like sour grapes” and more than likely it is to some extent, but it still needs saying.  WordPress,com consistently over and over, runs all these “fastest growing blogs” on their home page, when in fact, they are bogus and are actually not fastest growing anything.

Fastest Growing Blog Of The Day

Today it is http://naturalborncitizen.wordpress.com/  Now here is a joke.  One post.  ONE LOUSY POST and these idiots say it is a “fastest growing blog.”  Give us a break.  If WordPress.com isn’t even going to bother reading some of these blogs they “say are the fastest growing” then they should just flat out discontinue the practice as advertising them as same.  One post on one page, doesn’t constitute a fast growing blog in any way shape form or manner.

This is not the first time it has happened, and I am sure they will pull it down as fast as they can.  To cover their sorry ass.  (Pardon my French but my English isn’t much better!)

This is just another insult to all the people who work hard at trying to provide something substantial each and every day to the wordpress.com forum and should be discontinued if they are not going to be at least “half-way honest about it.”  It is a joke and a fraud.

If you are new to WordPress.com and actually believe that you have a “shot at being a number one blog” here, then you best rethink your position on it.  Because at best it is a crap shoot and nothing more.  Luck of the draw kind of thing.  Unfortunately for you and a lot of others just like you, hard work, quality of material, number of hits, has nothing to do with any of it.  It is not gonna happen.  You people at WordPress,com need to clean up your act.

Forget the tide

Have we got a deal for you, no more laundry days, that sound good?  A scientist at the University of Massachusetts is trying a different approach to dirty clothes.  He has invented a technique that impregnates fabric fibers with bacteria engineered to consume organic materials.  If he’s successful, your clothes would in fact, eat their own dirt.  The only problem:  You have to keep the bacteria alive by waring the shirt a lot.  Or as the scientist puts it, “You could end up having to feed your shirt instead of washing it.”  C’mere honey, I want to give you a big ol hug.

Yule Time Ring

August Memmi was ringing his bell at a Salvation Army kettle in Harrisburg, Pa. this week when someone handed him a very special donation a rive-diamond ring.  The young donor, who wished to remain anon. explained that he had purchased the ring for his mother, with money he made by mowing lawns.  His mother died this year, and he said he wanted to put the jewelry to good use.  Every now and then we run across something positive and good, and feel it is necessary to share this with you.  This is the true spirit of Christmas, the story is heartwarming.  There might be hope for mankind yet.

Snitches Needed in Albuquerque New Mexico

The Albuquerque Police Department is running classified ads in newspapers to recruit informants.  The help-wanted ad invites “people who hang out with crooks” to make some extra cash by sharing information with the police, up to $50 for drug-crime info and $700 for murder.  Now I know this sounds crazy, but it is true.

The ad also assures potential applicants that their résumés won’t be scrutinized.  It says “drug use and criminal record okay.” Now who says that New Mexico isn’t progressive?  They are borrowing a procedure right out of the Washington DC playbook. “Uh, don’t worry about the guy standing here with the gun, he is my character witness from my last job.”

Pull My Finger!

Don’t you just love Thanksgiving and Uncle Frank?  A kid in Florida, 12 years old, has been arrested for farting in school!  Yes I said “arrested.”  The arresting officer was summoned to the school by the schools’ principle and he was charged with “continually disrupting his classroom environment by breaking wind and shutting off several computers.”  (Now I know that is not a fact, I do it all the time, and my computer never shuts down, never.)  The kid was later released to the custody of his “maternal” parent (whatever that means?).  Oh by the way, any resemblance to anyone living or dead, or named Uncle Frank is purely co-incidental and should not be represented as a representation of a wordpress.com fact or fast growing blog.

Next time?

The Chinese college student who climbed into a Panda Enclosure so he could hug a Panda Bear … Which should be pretty self explanatory … Even George Bush could figure this one out, maybe.

Is the world going nuts, or is it just me?

Now I am back to my stated mission in life …. My absolute driving force, that burning desire that stokes the fires of my soul …. Saving the world one post at a time here in the loving arms of WordPress.com. 



4 thoughts on “Tuesday Funnies

  1. And most blogs on the ‘fastest growing’ list are all technical anyway. There’s no law stopping you from blogging about anything you want, but I wonder how much of a nerd you have to be to actually check a technical blog often enough to keep it afloat.

    I’m here to waffle, and if I get one belly laugh, snicker, or even eye roll, out of one person a day, my job is done
    Of all the blogs listed (today) none are of a technical nature, and they actually moved the offending piece of crap up to #1 on the list after this went up. Bumping off the poor little kid in his halloween costume and the proud papa. Again, not technical.

    If it walks like a duck then it is a duck and you know the rest. I still think it is an insult to people who write a decent blog each day, I am sorry, but that is just how I feel about it. Kind of like that old saying, “You can try and teach a pig to sing, but it won’t work, and all it does is irritate the pig.” Maybe I am cranky or just bent out of shape, but it _______ me off.

    Now I will move on.


  2. I cannot find what it is that you are talking about, but I believethat it should be more accontable. Why is it that all this garbage out there gets all the recognition and the good stuff doesnt?
    WordPress.com pulled it about 11AM CST and it is gone, when I wrote the article I also sent them a copy direct to “customer support” and told them what I thought about it. They pull this crap all of the time.


  3. If farting made electronics turn off, nothing in our home would work–ever. Not even the lights.

    You are so funny; it’s hard to keep up with your prolific posts. Good on ya.
    Pull my finger! I got another one for ya. Urinpal: A guy who uses the one next to you even though all the others are unoccupied. I write constantly, today was three, I think it was three, often I put others away because “they are too controversial” and I just keep them to myself. Right now, I am averaging about 50-60 per month and about 40,000 words most of the time, I will try and cut it back.


  4. Don’t you dare cut back one bit, mister! I hope you didn’t misunderstand me; I am impressed by the number of posts per day. You are an inspiration and a role model.

    Cheers as always.
    Here lately I have found myself extremely frustrated with these people at WordPress.com and that has caused me some difficulty. But I believe I am over that, and I am going to put it behind me and push on.

    They would not know a fast growing blog if it bit them in the ass, so that is not my problem, and I need to leave it alone. By the way, we should pass 750,000 today and I am going to post #600 at 4PM CST. Not bad for only nine months huh?

    One word that has been associated with me is “prolific” hear that a great deal, never hear “good” — “excellent” — “outstanding and they are mild” — just prolific. On the other hand, that is better than say — “horrible” — “Wretched” —- “Miserable and unbearable.”

    But two per day seems to be about right, don’t you agree? I’d put up three or four, but I feel as if they are sometimes often ignored and not read. And at three or four per day the workload becomes an issue, it becomes a tad bit heavy on the schedule and there is the Oprah thing to consider at 4PM and the girls on The View, well, you know what I mean?

    Guiltar: A musical instrument whose strings are pulled by your mother.


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