December Index

[12/01]  White Heat and Snake Oil Black Friday has come and gone, hopefully the majority of you survived it to “fight another day.”  One more reason for me to be “ashamed of being American.” Now it appears that the official “I have to buy something to be happy season” is now in full swing.  Let us pray the casualties will […]
[12/01]  Bundle Up Bought and Paid For The 2008 presidential campaign and congressional races cost an estimated $5.3 billion, shattering all previous records according to the Center for Responsible Politics’ (Isn’t that an Oxymoron?).  While that a lot of money, it is still less than the $6 billion Americans spent this year on Halloween candy, costumes and decorations. America has […]
[12/02]  Made In China When I was a small lad, sitting at the supper table, and I did not eat all that was on my plate (usually vegetables) my father would say to me.  “Eat your food, there are kids in China that are starving too death.” And I would think to myself, “What does he know?  He has never been to China […]
[12/02]  Tuesday Funnies This morning as it is my nature, I took a stroll around the internet and found some interesting things.  I found out that Mr. Bush is still blaming everyone else for the ills that are infecting the country, and steadfast refuses to assume any kind of responsibility for any action on his part. Two of […]
[12/02]  Monkey Business I have always wondered about it all, the descent of humanity from the trees, back when we decided that being monkeys, while fun, wasn’t getting the job done. How did we take that leap into consciousness, and how on earth could we have been so shortsighted – or something like that.  IF man did truly […]
[12/03]  Cuddling with Yangyang Now that the election is officially over, what happens to all that money that is left over?  I was wondering, if they (the people that helped get Mr. Obama elected) will get a Christmas bonus.  It appears that everyone else is getting a wonderful package of something this year, everyone but the taxpayer that is. I […]
[12/03]  Today In Musak History II WARNING: IF YOU PRINT THIS POST OUT, AND THEN READ IT UPSIDE DOWN, WHILE DRINKING FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF YOUR COFFEE MUG, WITH YOUR LEFT FINGER PLUGGED INTO YOUR RIGHT EAR, YOU COULD POSSIBLY FIND A SATANIC MESSAGE … BUT I REALLY KIND OF DOUBT IT. (Now all of you who, wordpress.com customer support people […]
[12/04]  Number Six Hundred Greetings.  If you haven’t been here before and this is your first time, welcome to Creative Endeavors, The Home Of BoxcarOkie.com.  Today is a milestone for us, this is our 600th post this year, in the past 9 months we have posted to this blog-page a plethora of articles, some good, some not so good, […]
[12/04] Sneak Into America (audio)  Neil Diamond Parody of “Coming to America
[12/05]  Broken Arrow 2008 Look down at the watch on your wrist (most people have one) or the clock on the wall (most offices have one) and make a mental note of thirty minutes. Got it?  Good. Now all that worrying, all that concern, all that getting upset about nothing?  It is for naught.  All of this, every last minute […]
[12/05]  Guess Who Is Coming To Dinner Relatives can bring new meaning to the nations capitol and the papers are abuzz with rumors that Mr. Obama’s mother-in-law is going to move into the White House to take over the chore of raising the girls.  Sounds kind of strange “the first girls” but we have a pair of them now, don’t we?  Some […]
[12/05] Book Worm If you were asked to, could you sum up your life in six words. Think about it. Six words. There is a best seller out right now Not Quite What I Was Planning (Harper $16.95) that asks that very question. The book is filled with six word phrases by the famous, and the not so famous, […]
[12/06] I Don’t Get It Having just finished, no correction, “having just tried” to read 7,864 words on “Why John McCain, having been born in Panama is considered a U.S. Citizen” I have to admit.  I just don’t get it. Why does anyone in their right mind devote some 8,000 words to a subject as benign as this, and why […]
[12/06]  Deep In Mississippi My memory not being as razor sharp as it used to be requires me every now and then, to write it down.  I carry in my pocket a small notepad which I use to make notes to myself as the day progresses.  Also have a small pocket recorder about the size of pack of smokes […]
[12/06]  Saturday Wowser I am sitting at the bank, and the banker says to me, “Do you have our new VISA with the photo ID yet?” and I say “No.” So then he says to me, “Why not?” And I reply, “You charge for your VISA and have all these fee’s, I am not into that.” So then he […]
[12/06]  Thirty Something Email of the week If you are 30 or older you will think this is hilarious!  I found it somewhat amusing, as in the “eighties” I had already exceeded age forty, and had been gainfully employed 12 or 13 years, and had kids in high school.  So here you go … the email of the week. When […]
[12/06] Sky angel (audio)  God told me ….. […]
[12/08]  Womens’ Underwear Now that title should attract every internet troll in the Universe, should be amusing to see what transpires.  Want a big hit count? Put the word S-E-X somewhere in the title or “imply that the word S-E-X” is somewhere in there, then sit back and watch ‘em come. There are two things in this world that […]
[12/08]  Working For Uncle Sam Soviet Leader Putin was in town recently, visiting the United States, and he met a Russian who immigrated to the USA.  “What do you do for a living here, in this new country,” he asked. And then the young fellow said to him, “My sister and I we work in a big factory.”  Then Putin […]
[12/09]  Love Is In the Air And a whole lot of pollen too.  I have been sneezing and snorting, to beat the band.  Isn’t Oklahoma grand?  With no moisture in about a thousand years, the ragweed is so thick you could cut it with a knife. If it wasn’t for love, stirring my inner being and emotions, I don’t know what […]
[12/09] Bail Out Blues Talk about hacking you off.  I understand that there is this bank down in Louisiana that is receiving $90 million in bailout money from the Fed’s.  Only one drawback.  The bank, New Iberia, is in the black, has been all year, posting record profits and is fit and healthy as a horse. So why are we […]
[12/10]  Holla Daze Polar Bear Xpress came rippin thru here today and it got colder than eight brass monkey’s from the ancient sacred crypts of Egypt.  I am here to tell you brothers and sisters, wintertime has arrived, and as usual, I was not ready. Got your Christmas shopping done?  I hear the thrift stores are really doing the […]
[12/10]  Team Players If you write a blog page and you want a lot of hits, put up something with the word “Obama” on it in the title or somewhere where it can be found, and you will get hits.  Now “hits” or visits, doesn’t naturally translate into comments.  Comments are a horse of a different color, comments […]
[12/11]  Between The Lines Recently I found myself very much engaged in a spirited conversation with my thirteen year old grandson.  I don’t know why, common sense would dictate that I would be better off minding my own business, but never the less, there we were.  Both of us locked into our ritual of trying to find some common […]
[12/11]  Nobody Cares About Your Dreams Coffee is good this morning, a little bite to it, but that is okay, it is cold here and uncomfortable.  Americans drink about 400 million cups of coffee per day, that is a lot of coffee, that is an ocean of coffee.  Which is kind of strange, when you stop to think about it.  Coffee […]
[12/11]  You Get What You Pay For Man, the news was so bad tonight, that I just turned it off and went outside in the backyard to scream!  Which really doesn’t do me a whole lot of good, but I just love watching the neighbor’s dog run to the end of his chain and then pow! This evening I am thinking about that […]
[12/12]  I’m Walkin Maybe it is me, but I just cannot for the life of me figure out where they find all these happy-sappy folks on television that are smiling and laughing all the while they are exercising. Exercising sucks, I don’t care what Richard Simmons sez …. All this “Walking can add minutes to your life”.  What […]
[12/12]  Final Expenses The shoe is on the other foot now boys … How does it feel? You know who I am talking about here, all you wonderful folks with no customer service, 15% restocking fee’s. All those lousy good-for-nothing rebate forms that are somehow never filled out correctly or submitted on time, and do not pay off. How does it feel? […]
[12/12]  Frost – Nixon Ronnie Howard has a new movie out, “Frost – Nixon” and it is a pretty good movie.  I am not a movie critic, I know what I like and what I do not like, and this movie is okay.  Strange, but Ron Howard (Opie) has been in the business some fifty years now, it just […]
[12/13]  Feeding The Monster This week I found myself having lunch with an old friend, and we started talking about the mess in the automobile industry.  We spoke of unions, buy-outs, bail-outs, government charity cases and whatever else they are calling it this week. Used to be at lunchtime the banter was light and cheerful, but here lately, that […]
[12/13]  Email of the Week Here tiz: A few years back I stopped at a coin shop in a nearby town.  The owner was an elderly gentleman in his late 70’s.  He was a friendly and knowledgeable  man and I often found myself stopping by to visit with him even if I wasn’t shopping for coins.  Chester was […]
[12/14]  12 Days Of Christmas (audio)
[12/15]  Me And Mrs. Claus (audio)
[12/15]  A.I.G. Remembering a time when life wasn’t all that good for me, and I found myself staring into the mirror, and the guy on the other side said to me, “Baby, you aint much, but you are all I got.” Kind of stayed with me a long time, that thought or that moment.  If all of this […]
[12/15]  No Fruit Cake End of the year rapidly coming down on us, so much left to do and so little time to do it.  The wife sent me to ChinaMart over the weekend, Saturday to be specific.  Which is not a nice thing to do to the person you love, send them off to a SuperCenter that is […]
[12/15]  Another Crap Sandwich A lot of talk here lately about newspapers folding or shutting down and stopping.  It might be because of the popularity of the Internet or the plain simple fact, that a lot of what they print is not news, it doesn’t even come close to being described as news. A lot of it is just […]
[12/17] Flu Ride (audio)  Parody of Seigh Ride
[12/17] Brad & Jolie Phone Home President-elect Barack Obama this week announced plans to launch the largest public works program in a half-century.  In the hope of creating millions of jobs and stimulating the sinking U.S. economy. The new federal program that mirrors Franklin Roosevelt’s New Deal and Dwight Eisenhower’s massive project to create the federal highway system, will hire workers to […]
[12/17]  Feliz Navidad The life of an immigrant in this country cannot be anything close to wondrous or perfect.  You are working in a lot of instances for “slave wages” and you cannot complain, you cannot fight back, you have to take it, you are here, unfortunately illegally and therefore, it is in your best interest to be […]
[12/17]  Nobody’s Watching Shoppin for the holidays It is late in the day, you are loaded down with bags of recent purchases, in tow are three little dinkers, it is cold and the wind has a bite to it.  They are cold and they are cranky.  And to make matters worse, you cannot for the life of you figure […]
[12/18] He’s So Jolly (Parody of Hello Dolly) Christmas tune & video
[12/18] Today’s Wordplay – Twisted Tunes Looks like it is going to be one of those days.  I come in here, and the first thing I find is a 500 word comment from some guy in India using made up pretend words and wanting to argue.  Brad & Jolie Phone Home has him all up in a tizzy. No sense of […]
[12/19]  Our Ladies Deserve Better I know that I said I was going to write about some of this drivel that Condolesa Rice has been putting out, but I came across this cartoon yesterday (If you click on it, it will produce a better copy in the editor, it didn’t do too well here) and it kind of stirred me […]
[12/20]  Alabama Slamma A friend of mine in Alabama sent this one to me this week, it is definitely worth the time spent to read it. I Believe… That just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do love each other. I Believe… That we don’t have […]
[12/20]  Christmas Elves (audio) 06 Days until Christmas! […]
[12/22]  How Can We Serve You Man, have you purchased any post-it notes lately?  They are up over $5 for one package, for post it notes, C’mon?  Things are so tight over there at 3-M, I understand they have officially changed their corporate logo to reflect it.  The new business mantra, “less for more.” Flying High I understand that the National Institute of […]
[12/23]  There’s Another Santa (audio)
[12/23]  You Want Fries With That Saturday I found myself having a McDonalds snack attack, so I drove over to get me a Rubber McMuffin or a Burger and Fries, could not make up my mind.  So I am looking at the menu that said I could have an order of 6,9, or 12 McNuggets. That sounded good, I hadn’t had […]

[12/24]  Christmas Last Year (audio)

[12/26]  It’s a good life Another wonderful tradition has come and gone (only three times this year) and that is the Frank Capra Classic, “It’s a Wonderful Life.” Despite having Jimmy Stewart for the lead, and being made by Capra, the movie wasn’t a big hit when it was first released in 1946.  It may have been due to […]
[12/27]  Credit Crunch Have noticed more people paying with cash for their purchases here lately, could it be the American Love Affair with the Credit Card is over?  Aggressive rate increases on credit cards are threatening to pushing struggling consumers into financial ruin, accelerating home foreclosures and the nations’ decent into recession. Keeping up with the Jones’es isn’t as […]
[12/27] Old Geezers (video) My grandchildren think that I am old geezer.  And I suppose to a certain degree, they  are right.  I am older than dirt on most days, I can still remember an episode of Saturday Night Live that was actually funny, I did vote for Nixon.  The weekend of Woodstock is still ever present and fresh […]
[12/29]  Turning Another Corner We are still trying to hit “One Million” visitors to this site by March 12th, 2009.  Please pass the address around (www.boxcarOkie.com) and help us to meet that goal.  Thanks. Found myself sitting around most of this day watching Beach Video’s on cable.  I like the “eye candy” and there is the added “suspense […]
[12/29]  Cast Thy Booty On The Water Two women have opened an unusual specialty shop in Raleigh, North Carolina.  Lingerie for religious women.  The Seek Ye First Lingerie Shop appeals to women who want to be “alluring” but not “sleazy,” said the two Baptist owners.  Apparently customers like the idea — the owners report brisk sales at the “thong rack.” Hallelujah our prayers have been answered.  […]
[12/29]  The Bare Facts Often in life, it just doesn’t add up. A full 25% of all Americans believe Sherlock Holmes is a real person, he is not.  Ernest Wrights 1939 novella Gadsby does not contain the letter “e.”  In how many Agatha Christie novels did the butler do it?  None.  Charles Dickens wrote A Christmas Carol in only six […]
[12/29]  Let’s Get Serious A soon to be “former” President of the United States has depicted the terrorist attacks against Americans as somehow due to slavery and past wars of conquest against the Indians.  And he was applauded at one of our most prestigious universities for saying it.  Nothing like this happened during World War II.  Even those who […]
[12/30]  Mayberry’s Hero Watched some captivating and interesting television last night (for a change).  It celebrated the history and the works of Ron Howard (Opie Taylor), all of his movies as a producer and director. His efforts on the screen as a child actor and star.  I certainly was not aware of the copious volumes of his work, and […]
[12/30]  God-Less Dawgs This mornings paper says that we are turning into a nation of pandering, God-less dogs, and that there is a decline in believers in this country. In 2003, 90% of all American’s believed in a God, that is down to 80%.  82% of us used to believe in Heaven, now only 73% are sure it is […]

[12/31]  Gearing Up for ‘09 What is that television soap, oh yeah, “Days Of Our Lives.“  where the hourglass of time has the sand slowly flowing thru and they wax poetic with some kind of phrase or something like that?  I don’t have one sorry … Just trying like the rest of you to find a way to hardwire myself […]


Articles: 48 approx. — word count: 48272

Bundle Up

Bought and Paid For

The 2008 presidential campaign and congressional races cost an estimated $5.3 billion, shattering all previous records according to the Center for Responsible Politics’ (Isn’t that an Oxymoron?).  While that a lot of money, it is still less than the $6 billion Americans spent this year on Halloween candy, costumes and decorations.

America has finally finished its political campaigning … Now that is a “change” I can believe in!  Utube videos mentioning Barack Obama or John McCain were viewed 2.3 billion times according to the measurement firm of TubeMogul.  Knocking Britney sans underwear to #2 and Paris Hilton to a lowly #4.

Higher Education Elsewhere

The United States which long enjoyed the world’s top high school graduation rate, has fallen to 13th place behind such countries as South Korea, The Czech Republic, and Slovenia.  The U.S. is now the only country in the developed world where you people are less likely to graduate than their parents were.  If you are not sitting down to read with your child, if you are not taking an active part in his/her education, then shame on you.  You deserve a “C” average president, that is what you deserve.  Oh wait a minute, you just had eight years of that, I am sorry.

Internet Therapy Anyone

Recharge your brain!  (I would but I forgot where you hook up the jumper cables)  Youjustgetme.com rates your personality in categories such as out-going-ness and empathy and lets you find out how others see you.  The “I Just Get Myself’ test comprises 40 easy questions but delivers a surprisingly insightful assessment.  Sanityscore.com is one of the best online mental health resources.  Find out about mental health, depression, anxiety and other emotional disorders.

Why am I telling you this or providing these links?  Oh perhaps you haven’t heard, I had a half-million people drop by recently to tell me how much they loved me! All these are nice, but beware, they are not a substitute for actual professional assessment.

Tell Me It Isn’t So

Hostess Twinkies are getting downsized.  Twinkie Maker International Bakeries will introduce a 100-calorie version of the snack pack favorite.  This is because survey’s indicated that female shoppers gave them “a warm welcome to the smaller calorie snack.”

Also in other related nutritional news.  Here is a supplementary bulletin from the Office of Fluctuation Control, Bureau of Edible Condiments, Soluble and indigestible Fats and Glutinous Derivatives, Washington DC, correction of directive 9434566201-A, which was issued by the Bush Administration awhile ago.

In the directive above named, the quotation on groundhog meat should read ground hogmeat.  No other changes.

Going To Get Colder

The National Weather Service is predicting that a “colder than usual winter is fast approaching” to the dismay of many a home owner and the utter glee of natural gas producers and fuel oil distributors.  As if we didn’t have enough problems.

I heard a story of an old Indian who got appointed to position of Chief in the tribe.  One day all the members of the tribe approached him and said:  “What weather do?”  The newly initiated Chief told them, “me tell you tomorrow.”  He then called the U.S. Weather Service and asked the man who answered up, “What weather do?” and he was given the reply, “about the same, maybe a bit cooler.”

So the next day, the Chief assembled all the tribe and told them, “Cool weather … cut firewood.”

A few months went by and again, the members of the tribe approached the Chief, and asked, “What weather do?”  The Chief says to them, “I tell tomorrow.”  Again he calls the U.S. Weather Service and asks the guy, “What weather do?”  The man answering the phone says, “about the same, a little cooler possibly next week.”

The Chief tells the Indians, “Cut more firewood.”

Once again, the members of the tribe form a group and asked the Chief, “What weather do?” and as always, “I tell tomorrow.”  He (the chief) gets on the horn and calls the U.S. Weather Service and says, “What weather do?” and the guy on the other end of the phone sez ……… “Man, it must be going to get really cold, these Indians around here are cutting firewood like you would not believe!”

Like the telephone company sez ….. “Bundle up and save.” ….. No wait, that aint right, that cannot be right, where is that newspaper?

000

White Heat and Snake Oil

112408Black Friday has come and gone, hopefully the majority of you survived it to “fight another day.”  One more reason for me to be “ashamed of being American.”

Now it appears that the official “I have to buy something to be happy season” is now in full swing.  Let us pray the casualties will be light this year as everyone dives into the commercialism of Christmas and forgets about “the baby.”

How did this tradition of decorating the house in multiple colored lights become Christmas?  It seems as if it has been around forever and now a days it is even starting earlier.  I saw some houses decorated and blinking in the night sky as early a week before Thanksgiving.

There is however good news, “if you live in Oklahoma, and are lazy, you don’t take your Christmas Lights down at the end of the season.  You just leave them hanging there all year long and re-illuminate the following season.”

Okies are like that.

I prefer the image of what I call “the Coca Cola Santa Claus.”  He just seems to cheer me on, how about you?  Do you want to know the secret to his success?    His “jolliness” this time of the pstockingupforsantayear, even though his responsibilities are numerous, delegates the majority of the hard work out to the elves.

He leaves the drudgework to those under him, while he parties on the couch, chugging eggnog and dialing his sports representative (bookie) for the latest line on the football games for the holidays.

Sometimes it pays to be able to multi-task in this day and age.

Don’t You Just Hate It When …. You ever notice that when you are working on a truck or a car, and you drop a tool, it will for some strange reason, “automatically roll to the exact center of the truck or car” and then stop.  Can you imagine what happens when you drop a tool in space?

Astronaut Heldemarle Stefanyahy-Piper who was repairing a solar panel on the space-station when she accidentally let go of a tool bag and then watched it float away into the void (I assume to the exact center of the Universe, but I am not sure).

“Oh great” she muttered, which is kind of like hearing the wife in the kitchen saying “shoot” we all know it is the other word, that is spelled without the “two O’s.”  The thing that really got me going was the name …. Heldemarle Stefanyahy-Piper … Ah, there is a name to remember.

Hard Times In The HollarsHuntington West Virginia has been named as the unhealthiest city in the USA.  About half the adults there are obese, and half of its senior citizens have no teeth.  Since the economy in Huntington is so poor, the subject of overeating “doesn’t come up much” said the mayor who is also obese.  I suppose the sale of Jell-o is big at the local super-center too.  Lucille, pass me another bowl of them thar marshmallows … the melted ones

Dancin With The Stars RejectA 64 year old North Carolina woman has been awarded $275,000 after her town banned her from its weekly community dances.  She danced in short skirts, “simulating sexual intercourse with her partner, who hunched on the floor.” (sounds like a good clean community atmosphere to me, yeah right).  The town decided to settle her lawsuit and made a somewhat tacit admission that it had infringed upon her freedom of expression.

Giving Martha The FingerAn Iowa man who injured his finger moving a Martha Stewart branded chair is suing the homemaking champion claiming that he lost earning capacity when the finger was re-attached to his hand.  He is, I am not making this up, he is a “hand model and magician.”  The injury has effectively restricted his abilities to do slight of hand tricks and play the banjo at the same time.  It is a tough job, but someone has to do it.

Merry Christmas here is your pink slipColorado Springs Colorado Evangelical group, Focus On The Family is laying off 150 people after Thanksgiving and cutting their workforce of some 1,150 people.  They are citing bad economic hard times as the reason.  They also state that “donations to the organization” are down and they attribute that to the recession.

They will now stop publishing four of its eight magazines and I assume, lay off pumping huge amounts of cash into the fight to stop proposition same-sex marriage proposals on the California ballot.  Which always confuses me to no end, I can’t ever get it right.  Transsexuals are the things that grow down from the ceiling and transvestites are the ones that grow up from the floor … right?

User Name and Password PleaseBarack Obama plans to have a laptop on his desk in the Oval Office, thus becoming the first sitting U.S. President to do this.  He’ll probably have to give up using email, since emails can be hacked and subpoenaed by the government. Thanks to John Ashcroft and the Bush Posse nothing is sacred any more.  It would behoove Mr. Obama to remember:  “All human beings have three lives.  Public, private and secret.”

No word on whether or not he will continue to read Creative Endeavors.  (Yeah I know, that is rich isn’t it.  Sorry just couldn’t pass it up)  Well he did admit to reading “Harry Potter.”

I changed my mind … I am sorry … Please let me go … More than 100 requests for presidential pardons have poured into the White House hoping Bush will wipe their records clean.  Among those requesting pardons are former junk-bond king Michael Milken, who systematically wiped out the accounts of hundreds of thousands of American Senior Citizens.  Olympic sprinter and steroid abuser Marion Jones, and John Walker Lindh.  The poor little rich kid from Marin County California, “The American Taliban” who got 20 years and should have to serve every treasonous day of it as far as I am concerned.

Well that is about it for Monday morning, I can wrap this up and get back to my new book I am reading.  Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders for the twenty-first Century, It has recently been updated and this year, has totally new words for the public and gives my life new meaning.  On Sale $24.95 Borderbound.

  • Chapter One:  Internet addiction How to upload files and download material, right, the first time.
  • Chapter Two:  Parental Alienation Syndrome How to wean yourself off of Margaret & Helen safely and painlessly.
  • Chapter Three: Compulsive Buying Disorder Buying up Wall Street Banks and Corrupt Insurance Companies for fun and zero profit.
  • Chapter Four:  Apathy Disorder Not finding yourself really concerned where Sarah Palin happens to be at the present time, or actually caring if Dubya and Laura find a suitable house in Dallas.

Headed down to the river to ride my bike.  Which brings me to another thing.  “Unless you’re a professional cyclist or have lost a bet, take off the tight black Lycra biking shorts. And then burn them.

But then again, “I am old school” and everyone knows that.

000

The November index is now up and complete.  65 articles and 41,000 words … check it out.  “The cartoon courtesy of Center for American Progress” (online)