Just Plane Weird

A week after two America West pilots were fired for showing up drunk, a passenger was thrown off an America West pane in San Francisco when she jokingly asked flight attendants if they had “checked the flight crew for sobriety.”  The airline said the woman’s’ remarks constituted a potential security problem.  The president of the Air Travelers Association called it an abuse of authority, saying, “they ought to put up a big sign with an “H” with a slash through it.  “No Humor Zone.” Because there is no joking allowed.

More related airline fodder

A Federal Task Force that wrestled nearly a year on ways to help passengers delayed for hours on planes parked on tarmacs around the country finalized its recommendations and here is the part you will like, “NONE OF THEM WILL REQUIRE AIRLINES AND AIRPORTS TO DO ANYTHING.”  You waited a year for that?  Working in the U.S. Government is kind of like forming a committee.  Let’s all get together and pool our ignorance.

Do you want a peeper with that?

Here is a picture that Sonic Drive-In surely wishes they were not a part of.  A manger of an Okie city Sonic was arrested for allegedly videotaping female employees in the restroom.  An employee found the camera when it fell on her head (dog gone cheap duct tape!) I would say this is a very unfortunate incident for Sonic.  Take heart dear reader, there are no public restrooms at Sonic.

Selling it off to fill up the tank

Americans are increasingly turning to pawnshops in order to generate cash for necessities.  They are digging deep to save some money, selling off valuables and traveling less.  As the recession looms and seems to be inevitable American spending habits seem to be changing.  After years of free spending and a credit card frenzy they seem to be cutting back on all fronts.  My credit is so good, “I cannot afford any more of it.”

Must be a terrible driver

My site has protected me from 14 auto insurance spam(s) this day, I must be a gambling bad driver from Oklahoma, that is all that is in my site these days, auto insurance and “learn how to gamble.”  Hey I already know how to gamble, I am a tax-paying consumer living in Oklahoma.

Too many guys getting knocked up in America … this has to stop!

Barbara Walters said on The View this week that Thomas Beatie, aka, The Pregnant Man, is pregnant again.  Walters’ special with Beatie is set to air on 20-20.  Does Barbara Walters have one ounce of verfiable credibility left?  Why are her and Oprah touting this as some kind of scientific breakthrough, it is pure BS.  Proof again that television is nothing but a vast wasteland.  When your Mommy is your Daddy how does that one go over at the bicycle rack at 3PM?  What a way to cripple a kid for life, promiscuous men and the problems they present … Tonight on Channel #5 … Check your local listings.

And I thought Baracks House was bad.

Danbury Conn.- Police reported a melee early Saturday morning after a dispute over a karaoke song. Jefferson Gomez, 31, got angry because he thought the disc jockey at a restaurant skipped the song he wanted to sing, according to police. A fight broke out and the DJ was hit over the head with a beer bottle. Gomez and two of his friends were arrested.

Take a stab at this one … Eight years ago

A brilliant politician who was asking for your vote to become President said this: “We can have a next-stage prosperity where you don’t have to build your lives around a fuel source that is distant, uncertain and easily manipulated. We will demand and develop new technologies to free ourselves from gas-tank price-gouging, and we will sell those technologies to the world. We’ll build a new generation of fuel efficient vehicles – and then make it easy for families to afford them.”

Who said that?

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On The Downside

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Deflation, that is such a strange word, I keep hearing it over and over, some kind of buzz word for our hard times, so I looked it up.  (Yes, boys and girls, contrary to popular belief we do have a dictionary, word checker and I suppose sense of humor?)  Here it is:

de·fla·tion [di fláysh’n] n

1.  collapse because of air loss: the releasing or escaping of air or gas from something, resulting in its shrinking or collapsing

2.  loss of self-esteem: a sudden loss of confidence, self-assurance, or conceit

3.  economics reduced economic activity: the reduction of general economic activity, including lower prices and a reduced supply of money and credit

4.  geology erosion: the erosion of land by wind

Encarta ® World English Dictionary © & (P) 1998-2004 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.

So having that firmly locked down and in place, I will continue.

Yesterday I saw a man standing at a convenience store, and using a cellphone, he was taking a picture of the marquee that had a low price for fuel displayed ($1.62 per gallon).  Evidently wanting some kind of marker or visible proof to tell someone else that prices were indeed good in Oklahoma.

That is the way we are, when we have it good, “we like to rub it in” and make everyone else miserable.  It is the American Way.

Two months ago when all time records were being set and the price of everything was going thru the roof, food, utilities, gasoline, I was pretty sure that deflation as they call it would not happen.  Now I am not so sure, it appears that the threat could indeed be real.

Now I can hear you, sitting there and saying to yourself, “So what?” (bought any pot roast lately?)

Wide spread lower prices might sound like the panacea that we all desperately seek, the heavenly pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, but if you remember, the Great Depression was also a time of deflation.  Starting in 1929 prices began dropping, and because consumers expected further declines, they stopped spending money.  Spending in this country literally collapsed and nothing, absolutely nothing, was selling.  Apples were being sold on every street corner in America for a nickel, but no one had the nickel.

By 1933 factory output in the country had fallen some 40% and employment topped 25%.  Now if you compare times then and what is occurring in our country today, you see a definite parallel.  Car sales are plummeting, the jobless ranks are swelling, soup kitchens (public relief) are on the rise,  If we continue on this precarious path, a more serious problem will occur with further price or spending decreases.

Companies in America will continue to owe on their debts, but with prices lower and revenues down, they’ll have a much harder time paying them off.  When a company can no longer meet its obligations, it shuts back, it lays off workers.  As prices fall, consumers, like the guy with the cellphone, will stop buying.  That is why so many banks, and the Fed, are rushing in with bucket loads of money, trying to encourage spending.

Be careful for what you wish for.

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Focused Confusion

recent-shots-006A lovely morning, I find myself sitting at Starbucks, sipping on my double-mocha-latte-pinch of Cinnamon-nutmeg-three marshmallow half-coffee/half-chocolate $4 caffeine loaded treat for the day.

Low and behold this lady walks up to me and says, “Aren’t you Don Smith, the always trying to win a Pulitzer Prize winning author of Creative Endeavors read by millions?” and I said, “Why yes, yes I am.”

Then she asks me, “When you say you are not making something up on your webpage, does that mean you’re really and truly not making any of that stuff up?” And I said, “Yes.” Meaning no, I am not making it up.  Now if I was indeed making things up, I would say something like.

If you take this post, copy it out, print it out on your printer at home, wad it up and throw it in the trashcan … It will scream!”

Now see, that was fabricated, I wasn’t being truthful with you on that at all.  When you see something or read something totally off the wall, outrageous, then you will know that I am making things up.

I mention all this to you today so that you will believe me when I say that I’m not making up today’s topic, which is “Focused Confusion.”  Yeah, that is a good one, “Focused Confusion.”  I like that.  So everything you read from here on out, is the absolute truth.  This is a totally TRUE story.

Trust me (heh-heh)

Raining today, not a fit day for dog nor beast, come to think of it, in some circles, a dog could be considered a beast.  Dogs really lead a nice life, think about it, you never see a dog wearing a wristwatch.  Now me, I am too lazy to be a dog.  There is no way in the world, if I was a dog, that I would chase cars down a street.  Nope, I would just sit on the curb and take down their tag numbers.

You hear about the guy that was sitting in the movie with his dog, and every time the villian came on the screen the dog would growl and show his teeth?  Finally this other guy just had to say something.  So he leans over and say to the guy, “You dog certainly seems to be getting into this movie, isn’t he?” and the other guy says, “Yeah, really surprising me, he didn’t like the book at all!”

Drum roll …. Take my wife ……. Please!

Most people on the net, as I understand it have cats.  Pet a cat, and you have a job for life.  So anyway, let’s get onto “Focused Confusion” the selected read by millions post for today …… Hellllllllllo Singapore!

So I am on my way to Tulsa, Oklahoma, a distance of some 125 miles and I stop in the north part of the town because I am receiving an incoming cell transmission.  Which is a nice way of saying someone has called me.  I do not drive and talk, do not believe in it and will not participate, so I pull over to the side of the road.  You know in America we have D.U.I. (Driving Under the Influence) and D.W.I (Driving While Intoxicated) and now D.W.Y. …… which is Driving While Yakking.

Which I absolutely do not believe in.

Pulling over to the side of the road, I shut the engine down and we begin to talk, this friend and I.  During this time, I notice that my glasses are somewhat dirty, so I pull out the old hankie and start to clean them.  For the most part, things are going swimmingly well, and no one has come along and rear-ended my illegally parked car.

Now that I have successfully transferred over to the new age, I am able to “multi-task” as my grandson calls it and I am talking on the phone, I am cleaning my progressive, no line bi-focals at the same time.  People in the sixties would have laid you six to five, that I would not have been able to do this.  But I am.  Unfortunately, here is where the downside part of the story comes in, and in my case, there is always a down side part of the story.

Trust me.

While I am talking on the phone, I accidentally pop one lens out of the right side of the glasses and do not notice it.  I finish the lens that I am working on, put the glasses back on, stop the conversation and get back on the road.  About twenty minutes later, I start to notice that “things are not looking just right” and I am wondering what is wrong with my eyes?  All the way to Tulsa, I am looking at all this traffic and all these signs, and folks, things are not copasetic in River City.

What the — ?

I arrive in Tulsa, and I locate my friend, we get in the car for some lunch and he says, “What is this, and shows me an item he has picked up off the floor mat on the passengers side of car.”  Anyone want to hazard a guess as to what this suspicious item might have been?

Yeppers!  It was the lens to the right side of my glasses.

Fortunately for me, they do not charge you when you cancel an appointment you make when you stop and park illegally on the side of turnpike outside Sand Springs, Oklahoma, and schedule an eye appointment with the optometrist for an eye exam.

Man … They are going to love me at the home, I just know it.  Tomorrow we will talk about my recent colon-endoscopy where they informed me that they found a size 4 woman’s shoe … don’t miss it.

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