Here is your Halloween Joke for 2008.
An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset. To say that he had “irritated bowel symptom” would be an understatement to say the least.
Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was another and stayed put. He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational! In a complete loss of composure he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.
A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to get the unknown things off, and ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet.
As the drunk stood there, unsteady on his feet, staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard, barely containing his laughter, and who had watched the whole incident, walked up and asked “What the heck is going on here?”
The drunk, still staring down at the pile of rumpled soiled sheets said, “I dunno, I think I just beat the crap outta a ghost!”
Last night the ghosts and goblins were out and about, the dogs were barking and the neighborhood was somewhat spooky, for a little while anyway. Darker than a coal miners lunch box too. The next full moon on Halloween as I understand it will not occur until 2020. (Hey you never know when you are going to need some of this stuff, best take notes)
All night long … The doorbell rang unmercifully and Mama quickly tired of going back and forth to the door to deliver treats to all the hob-goblins and little princess’s of the neighborhood. So she stood up and announced to no one in particular, “The next kid that rings that door bell, is going to get the ENTIRE BOWL OF CANDY and then I am shutting off the lights and being done with it!”
So the doorbell rang, and she opened up the door and there stood this little guy dressed up like a Hobo and she said, almost barked at him to tell you the truth, she said, “Open your sack.” So he dutifully opened up the sack as wide as it would open and she dumped the ENTIRE CONTENTS OF THE BOWL into his sack. He looked at the contents of his bag and then exclaimed, “Gee lady, when I came here I was really poor. Now I is rich!”
Any bets on what happened to the doorbell after that? When he went out into the dark and told ALL of his little buddies?
“The cartoon courtesy of Center for American Progress” (online)