Say It Isn’t So Joe

A record 90 percent of voters say country is seriously off track. According to a new ABC poll, 90 percent of registered voters say the country is going in the wrong direction. Only 23 percent approve of President Bush. After the recent presidential debate someone on McSame’s bus was heard to say … “It’s 10pm, does anyone know what time it is?”

Given the global economic crisis, a record number of registered voters say the country is seriously off on the wrong track, the most since this question first was asked in 1973. At 23 percent, Bush’s job approval rating has fallen below Nixon’s lowest; it’s a point away from the lowest in 70 years of polling, set by Harry Truman in early 1952.

Bush’s disapproval, meanwhile, is at an all-time record — 73 percent. … Reflecting these economic worries, just 44 percent of Americans are confident they’ll have enough money to carry them through retirement. The other 56% are seriously worried about just making it to payday on next Tuesday.

This sure is getting tired and old at this point in the game, I mean, just elect “somebody” and get it over with.

John McSame and Obammer both promised and vowed a different kind of campaign. Yet this one has devolved into the tried and true: Destroy the enemy truth and fairness be damned.

Is this the way to lift up America during these most trying times.

Joe the Plumber = twenty references. Middle Class = True to form, zero.

McSame looked like McCranky this last go around, and unfortunately, not much was new.

One more disturbing item and then I will move on.  Doubt has been cast over the story of “Joe the plumber”, the man who unexpectedly became the star of this week’s US presidential debate. Joe Wurzelbacher, of Ohio, was thrown into the spotlight after he was used by John McCain as an example of who might suffer under Barack Obama’s tax plans.

But it now emerges he is not a licensed plumber and owes $1,200 in back taxes.

The complete article is here, including a short video interview with “our man Joe” at the end of article.  Groan. I am going to write a totally new version of history just like these bozo’s routinely offer us. I will call it Highlights in History, watch for it, coming to a webpage near you soon.

The folks from Somalia are back in the news. Requests by Muslims to pray at work in Grand Island, Nebraska and Colorado, have led to clashes with employers who say they cannot accommodate the strictly scheduled prayers.

Requests by Muslims to pray at work, have led to clashes with employers who say they cannot apease the meat cutting religious zealots.

The conflicts raise questions about religious rights on the job. Muslims say they are being discriminated against and are taking their complaints to the courts and the federal government.

Employers say the time out for prayer can burden other workers and disrupt operations.  The conflicts raise questions about religious rights on the job. Muslims are the most vocal complainers of all the religions in the united states.  This is the best part of the article, “As he voiced his complaints through a translator.”

Here is a novel idea, “if you don’t like it here, why not pack up your sorry butt and go back to the Middle East and you can pray there all you want. That is, when you are not ducking and looking for cover.”

East Brunswick, N.J., football coach Marcus Borden has filed a petition with the U.S. Supreme Court for a review of a federal appeals court ruling that prohibits him from participating in team prayer. Borden’s case began, when in 2005, he was told by school administrators not to lead his players in a team prayer.

Borden is asking the court to review an April ruling from the U.S. 3rd Circuit Court of Appeals. The appeals panel had reversed a 2006 ruling that said Borden and other public school coaches could silently bow their heads and “take a knee” with players as their teams prayed.

Down here, in the states of Texas, Oklahoma, Louisiana, we pray before Friday Night Football and we don’t think anything about it, but then again, we live in America, not where the rest of these folks apparently live.

Des Moines, Iowa. Operating room nurse Pauline Taylor knows her refusal to get a flu shot is based on faulty logic. But ever since she got sick after getting a shot a few years ago, she’s sworn off the vaccine. “I rarely get sick. The only thing I could narrow it down to is that I had gotten this shot,” said Taylor, who works at University Hospitals and Clinics in Iowa City.

“I know that it’s not a live virus. It just seemed pretty coincidental. Such stories frustrate me, the poor sap, who has to be handled by these so-called “health workers” who do not bother to get a shot. A surprising statistic — nearly 60% of health care workers fail to get a flu shot.

Now don’t get me wrong, nurses have worked hard to advance their profession and dispite some sexist myths do a great job. Portraying nurses as empty-headed bimbos demeans their important work and the education and skills it demands.

As I am old and somewhat bent out of shape ninety-two-point five percent of the time, I desire clean and healthy hands on my body at all times …. Aw what the hey, who am I kidding ….. I’ll take clean hands on my body at any time.

Be Nice – Play Fair – Share.

Civility lessons for the commuter. The Boston-area transit system has placed posters on 600 subway cars and 400 buses, reminding riders to pick up trash, tone it down on the phone, offer seats to those who need them, and let people off trains before getting on themselves. Officials said complaints about poor manners have increased along with rider-ship on MBTA buses and trolleys lately. It is a pretty sad state of affairs when children do not have any social mores, and the parents of the same kids, do not know how to ride politely with other commuters. Is it no small wonder when other nation’s observe us and feel that we are crude, rude and obnoxious.

Great Falls – Montana. The first turbines at a wind farm in north-central Montana are online, supplying power to customers in California. The $500 million Glacier Wind Farm is being developed by Spain-based NaturEner.

The first phase of 71 towers will be producing 106.5 megawatts of power within two weeks, a company spokesman said. Most of the wind farms in our state are owned by outside interests (foreign investment) and it appears that around the country, the trend seems to be the same, people other than the U.S. building public works/private interest for us.

Might be why they are living in robust economies, have rewarding careers and good jobs, and we are headed for the dumpster.

CLEARFIELD, Pa. A chef at a western Pennsylvania Italian restaurant ate a 15-pound burger with 5.2 pounds of toppings in 4 hours and 39 minutes. Brad Sciullo, of Uniontown, is the first person to successfully eat the huge burger at Denny’s Beer Barrel Pub, said pub owner Dennis Liegey.

The burger — called the Beer Barrel Belly Bruiser — includes a bun, lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, onions, mild banana peppers and a cup each of mayonnaise, ketchup, mustard and relish. When asked what possessed him to eat a burger that big, the 5-foot-11, 180-pound Sciullo said: “I wanted to see if I could.”

“I’ve always had a heck of a capacity and I can down about two gallons of water and I can do a gallon of milk in 20-some seconds,” said Sciullo, a chef at Pasta Lorenzo’s in Uniontown. He was later spotted on the house telephone calling Joe The Plumber.

NASA has commissioned a specialist to recreate the smell of outer space – which has been described as being similar to fried steak and hot metal. The research is being conducted so astronauts can get an idea of the kinds of conditions they will experience. Once again, the prudent spending of your tax dollar for the benefit of a greater society.

Steven Pearce, a chemist and managing director of fragrance manufacturing company Omega Ingredients, has been working since August to recreate the smell – he hopes to be finished by the end of the year.

“We have a few clues as to what space smells like. First of all, there were interviews with astronauts that we were given, when they had been outside and then returned to the space station and were de-suiting and taking off their helmets, they all reported quite particular odors.”.

“For them, what comes across is a smell of fried steak, hot metal and even welding a motorcycle. NASA said he has successfully produced the smell of fried steak, but recreating the smell of hot metal has proven to be quite difficult. Perhaps a sniff of the end of the barrel of Cheney’s shotgun would do it?

Hey, feed me two Taco’s and one super-sized all bean Burrito and I will give you all the smell and space you need!

Yeah, I know gross. Don’t write me any letters, the box is full.

Have A Great Weekend.

000

The cartoon was published by the Center for American Progress” (online)

IT’S A MUMMY THING

No, this is not another post about Sarah Palin, The Moose-Goosing-two-gun-tooting Yummy Mummy from Northern Exposure. This is a somewhat different thing altogether.

This morning I was going to write about “bottled water” but my friend down in Florida beat me to it (I guess I should get up earlier) and I have to hone my writing skills in another direction this day.

So I have decided to share with you all something that happened recently in my life. Just the other day, I had such a remarkable experience, and I feel somewhat compelled to share it with you. As Joan Rivers would say … Can we talk?  Which is a nice way of saying, “don’t make me come down there or I will thump your skull or something, if you do not pay attention.”

So anywho … Suddenly I found myself craving a fresh bowl of gravy and a hairball, so I went over to the local beanery (the local beanery is American Slang, for our European and Asian visitors, it means a restaurant .. In some circles it is also known as a Choke & Puke, but we are not about being gross this day, so we will call it a beanery). Hunger my driving concern forced me out of the house, and into the public arena.

Before I knew it, I was talking to this gal at the counter at Denny’s, and this girl she was confiding in me how it was that she was channeling the Egyptian King or Emperor Cheops for the distraught victim of botched liposuction.

Which is kind of amazing when you stop and think about it.

I mean, who knows a doctor that makes house calls anymore?

During the channeling she said that some truly amazing things were revealed to her in the process. Incredible as it may seem I could not pull myself away. My coffee or waitress for that matter was nowhere to be seen, so I intently listened to this girls story. Not that I am into channeling or anything, I just felt this urge to find out another mystery of life.

The day had started out innocently enough, but was slowly starting to race downhill at an alarming pace. Too many questions being answered (un-asked questions I might add) with a frankness and honesty, refreshing in these sniggering times. Unbeknown to me, I had chanced upon a beacon of today’s fast paced, turned on, money grubbing, anything for kicks generation and I was trapped in a caffeine-breakfast deprivation situation of my own making.

Torn between leaving and yet still, curiously compelled to stay.

Somehow, during the process, which I am not really sure of just how it occurs or happens, the Egyptian King told her that he had an ancient gripe to share with her. He said that he was “incredibly disappointed in the After Life.” He was sort of whiny from what she said, and was disappointed as there was absolutely nothing to do, and he was really hacked off about his “send off presents” which were nothing like he had expected.

Hmmmmmmmmm, this is going nowhere, they will NEVER go for this.

I sure did want to do that piece on the bottled water, dog-gone it.

“He pulled her mouth to his and kissed her so hard she moaned.” Yeah! This is much better. She had the mystery of Garbo or Monroe, the allure of Lauren Bacall, the torso of Bridgett Bardo (which is really dating me, I should be using Jay Lo or Britney Speers someone like that) and she looked at him and smiled. “I like what you have done with the floors.”

(The perfect entrance to a man’s heart …

Sweat Equity and Power Tools … A very intelligent smart girl).

He looked at her lost in his passion, with awe and ecstasy (It has been a long time, no?). A grim smile played across his lips (almost a sneer) then they made passionate love on the thick shag carpet in his office (yeah I am sure, in your dreams lover boy). Her trim, brown skinned body was bare, save for a wet bikini. He ran his hand along her back to the string that fastened her bikini top … Tan lines traced her beautiful torso all the way to her triangle of ….. And then the plate hit the counter with a resounding ring!

“You the Grand Slam, the side of ham and the onion rings?”

Back to reality.

(Hey. This isn’t your breakfast and/or fantasy relax)

Too many questions and not enough time. If man evolved from apes, then how come we still have apes? If The Barbie Doll is so dog-gone popular, then why do we have to buy her friends? The man who said, “A cluttered desk is the mark of a genius” never saw my office. How deep would the world’s oceans really be if all the sponges were gone?

Reality, what a concept.

Sex is like air. It is not all that important unless you aren’t getting any. We are all born naked, wet and hungry, then things gradually get worse. No one is really listening until you make a mistake. Always remember, you are unique, just like everyone else.

And no one … I repeat … No one.

Is channeling anyone named Cheops.

Trust me.

I just read where scientists are now saying 1 out of every 4 people in this country are clinically crazy to a certain extent. Check three of your closest friends at the water cooler today at work, if they are ok, you’re it.

Next time I am going to the IHOP (International House Of Pancakes) too many weirdo’s hanging out at Denny’s these days.

000

The weekend is here … Go get it! King Tut