Enter Your Password

Duckies

Duckies

QUESTION:  “Is your life any better because of computers?

Tough question. Like my crazy Aunt Martha used to say … Don’t get me started. So is it yay or nay on the computer issue? Good or bad.

The marvelous, wonderful world of computers, where nothing can go wrong, go wrong, go wrong.

A man, experiencing severe chest pains, goes to the local hospital. They feed his name and vitals into a computer, which promptly confuses him with another man who had died some eight months earlier, and the computer cancels his subscription to Field & Stream Magazine, turns off his electricity, water, and telephone without ever having bothering to ask.

Don’t talk to me about computers.

My computer in my truck senses that something is amiss in the system, I have a problem, it even goes to the trouble of turning on a warning buzzer and a lite on my dash, CHECK ENGINE flashes in front of my eyes. I stop, I open the hood, I check the engine. It is still there and I am hopeless lost.

Perhaps I missed the exit on the Information Highway or something, I am not a big fan of computers.

My clock radio is now smarter than I ever hope to be, and I don’t even know how to program the ____ thing! I tried loading a spelling checker into my hard drive back in ’98 and accidentally launched a nuclear missile attack on Norway … Don’t talk to me about computers.

You purchase a drill from Home Depot, they insert your credit card into the machine and swipe it, the lights in the building dim temporarily, and then instantly, you are charged for a complete Home Entertainment Center, with Surround Sound, and 48 easy payments.

All in a matter of seconds … a mere fraction in time. Computers’ isn’t technology grand.

I seem to be stuck in the horse and buggy age for some reason. I am locked down in the pre-computer age, an old fossilized Trantasouras Rex in limbo. I am still buying a Coke for a dime … Back when you opened the top of the Coke Machine and you slid the bottle down the long ramp, to the end, and then lifted it out.

Believe it or not, I still remember a gas pump where YOU actually pumped it in to this huge glass reservoir and then gravity did the rest of the job, getting the product to the tank in the car. At a very cheap and reasonable price of 15 cents per gallon.

How about the eight track tape, now that was an invention. Dunka Shane, oh darling Dunka Shane …. Whirrr, thunk-whirrr-KaThunk! Thank you for loving me today. Evaporative coolers (Swamp Coolers) the air conditioning of the fifties, remember that? Cool and wet on a hot day … M&M’s without the blue color, now that is odd huh?

Remember the old VCR’s, the first ones, that cost over $1,800 brand new, with a 24 hour timer and two speeds, non programmable. Pocket calculators were neat, when first introduced at something like $175 each! Man, I am so old, that I can still remember a dollar that was worth twenty-five cents and can recall when the National Debt was only calculated in the billions.

McDonalds’ used to give you change for a buck, I remember that, not any more. You cannot buy a “Rubber McMuffin” for less than $2.50 now days. It is getting where Ben isn’t worth a George anymore. That means … A hundred isn’t worth a dollar for all of you that are a little slow on the uptake this morning.

Computers and technology, all of this was supposed to free up our time, so we could do other things, wonder what actually happened to that grandiose concept? As for my part in all this, I have not noticed any perceivable increase in leisure time activities nor the increase of available time allotted to me to do other things, the things that I enjoy more.

Seems like I am always running late even with digital cell phone technology in place at sixty-five cents per minute, I am experiencing difficulty just keeping up.

We are living longer thanks to modern medicine, computers, antibiotics, nasal spray, Nintendo and Diet Coke. It has become quite routine for people to live in our civilized world past the age of say … forty … and even beyond.

Wow! Man walked on the moon in sixty-nine and that was, jeeze, over forty-years ago, can that be true? Where did the time go? Wonder how come we never went back?

  • A:> Hello?
  • BAD COMMAND OR FILE NAME
  • A:> Help?
  • BAD COMMAND OR FILE NAME
  • A:> Do something!
  • BAD COMMAND OR FILE NAME
  • A:> We want to go to the moon Dammit!
  • BAD COMMAND OR FILE NAME
  • A:> Please help?
  • B:> NON-SYSTEM DISK OR DISK ERROR – INVALID SWITCH-PATH NOT FOUND
  • A:> Return to help?
  • C:> WARNING! ALL DATA WILL BE LOST … ABORT, RETRY OR FAIL?

WELCOME TO CREATIVE ENDEAVORS, THE HOTTEST LOCAL SITE ON WORDPRESS.COM, YOU ARE NOW BEING ISSUED AN ENTIRELY NEW SCREEN NAME, PASSWORD AND SUPER-SECRET CODE FOR ACCESS, PLEASE FORGET EVERYTHING THAT YOU EVER KNEW ABOUT THIS SITE. IN ONE SECOND YOU WILL BE TAKEN BACK TO THE PAGE WHERE YOU CAME FROM OR CLEVELAND, OHIO …WHICH EVER COMES FIRST. PRESS ANY KEY TO RECEIVE SOME SATISFACTION.

Computers handling life’s everyday pressures, simply, efficiently, and conveniently for us. Effectively putting all our … uh … “stuff” … in one sock. This in turn gives us plenty of time to sit back, suck down cool drinks the size of Lake Michigan in the late afternoon, and contemplate what it is that we can do today.

Time to consider the important issues that confront each of us on a daily basis. Which it turn releases all this free time for us so we can have some fun. Well it sounds good anyway.

Good morning you poor soul, welcome to Heaven and the Pearly Gates, the Angel said. Please give me your access code and password …Nuts.

Technology, what would we do without it.

000

What your computer does at night when you are asleep here.