Lost In Washington

It always amazed me how George Hubert Walker Bush, who only served one term in the Presidency of the United States could get Barbara’s picture on a dollar bill.  Now along comes George Dubya Bush and he has his picture on a dollar too.

Received a smattering of emails over the weekend from people wanting me to lay off Bush and the State of Texas in general. (Yeah, like that dog is gonna hunt?)  So if you are wondering if the “Tag Feature” of WordPress.com is working, well it is doing just fine. Also, I dutifully filed most all of them under the big “Red X” in the upper left hand quadrant of my mailbox.

As for Bush?

Now, as he spends his last months in office trying to avert a global economic collapse, Mr. Bush has been telling people privately that it’s a good thing he’s in charge. He said that if it was going to happen at all, he was glad it was happening under his presidency, because he had a good group of people in D.C. working for him. 

Perhaps those that live south of the Red River have a different meaning to this term. Surrounded by “competent good people.” Which mainly consists of educated, well paid baby killers, private company mercenaries (overseas) and a covert 24 hour a day staff of paper and document shredders.

Bush also said that whoever was going to take over in January was going to have a huge crisis on their hands the day they come into office. Which is more than likely, the biggest political gaff of the year. The only thing that I could possibly think of more absurd than this is “Read My Lips … No New Taxes.”

I believe that is a Bushism too if I am not correct?

Dubya later said when regaining consciousness that he thought by this happening now, that perhaps everyone could see signs of improvement before the next president comes into office.

That is, if the lights are still on …

Read the whole story here.

Don’t you just love it when they look into the old teleprompter with that deer in the headlight look, and explain to you how everything is just going to be swell in River City.  Now when you spin it that way, well, it just sounds a lot better doesn’t it?

Let me try it …. Bubonic Financial Plague … Yeah, that works just fine.

And I’ll lay you six to five, Ol’ Ben is rolling over in his grave.


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Cause and Effect

Isn’t it funny how the “language” is always changing, slowly and often un-noticed, the things that we considered “standard” are no longer around. Replaced while we were not looking. Lately I have been hung up on this language thing so I thought I might devote a little time to it this morning.

Often I will keep a notepad next to the chair in the living room, when I hear them I write them down. Things like “New and Improved” and all this other clutter we are forced to deal with on a daily basis. Here are a few for your morning coffee:

  • Auto Mechanic – Service Technician
  • Washington D.C. – where insignificant individuals trespass on a nation’s time.
  • Auto Salesman – Finance Specialist
  • Housewife – Domestic Engineer
  • Military Intelligence – S.N.A.F.U.
  • Unemployment – Democracy’s way of getting you to plant a garden.
  • Used Car – Program Car
  • SEX – The most awful filthy thing on earth that we save for someone we love.
  • Pre-Owned – Wore out.
  • Bail Out – Charity for the rich
  • National Secrecy – The beginning of tyranny.
  • United States – A nation of badly written laws, seldom enforced.
  • Dead Civilians – Collateral Damage
  • Boomer Sooner – Brain Dead.
  • Some Discomfort – Explosive Diarrhea
  • Same As Cash – Not Quite.
  • Assembles in minutes – Call a professional.
  • Sudden Side Effects – Death.
  • Vasectomy – Never having to say you’re sorry
  • Universal Fit – Won’t work, won’t fit.
  • H.M.O. – Hand Over Your Money Or Die
  • Second place – The first loser.
  • Market Rally – You lost.
  • Low Blood Sugar – Sicker than a dog.
  • Easy Payments – Financial slavery
  • Wordsmith – The assault of thoughts on the unthinking
  • Romance – The glamor which turns the dust of everyday life into a golden haze.
  • Reality – The leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.

Then we get into the Politically Correct Arena.

B.C. it means “before Christ” in most circles denoting dates before what’s commonly accepted as the year Christ was born. In academic circles, B.C. has been replaced with the more politically correct B.C.E., or “Before Common Era.”

A.D. it stands for Anno Domini, Latin for “in the year of our Lord.” It is used to denote time after the birth of Christ. The more politically correct term now used is C.E., for “Common Era.”

C-SPAN it stands for Cable Satellite Public Affairs Network. C-SPAN broadcasts mostly House of Representatives and Senate sessions. It is a television network for morons, given by morons, to morons.

TEN WORDS WOMEN USE

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means at least a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word, but is rather, a nonverbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing.   (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wan ts to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here – This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ – that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all.  DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’ … that will bring on a ‘whatever’).

(8) Whatever: Is a women’s way of saying ____ YOU!

(9) Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to # 3.

(10) Nut-Huh. What my five year old granddaughter uses to emphazize … “No!  No Way!  Not Now Grandpa!  It isn’t gonna happen.”

They evidently learn early in Oklahoma.

Tomorrow, five entertainers who had airports named after them. Six stars who took karate lessons from Chuck Norris. Why George Bush never wears a name tag at High School Reunions.

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