Reality Checque

Oh what is we gonna do? We done invested all our money in a pumpkin farm and the government done called off Halloween

The Weekend is over … The government goes back to work early this morning … You have something else to worry about b’sides the quarter of a tank needle on your gas tank.

  • Your company might not be able to meet payroll and you might not get a paycheck this week.
  • If you need to buy a home, you might not be able to get a mortgage.
  • You might not be able to get a home equity loan to repair a leaking roof.
  • If you build or repair homes, you could lose your job.
  • You might not be able to buy your winter home heating oil on credit.
  • If you need to buy a car, you might not be able to get a loan.
  • If you sell or make cars, you could lose your job.
  • You might not be able to use your credit cards to pay for an unexpected auto repair or hospital bill.
  • You might not be able to get a student loan for your next year of college.
  • If you own a grocery store, you might not be able to put food on the shelves.
  • If you own a gas station, you might not be able to fill up your tanks.
  • If you own a small business, you could go out of business.
  • If you sell coffee or lunch to people who build homes and sell cars or work in a grocery store or gas station, you could lose your job too.
  • If you don’t have a job, it might be harder to find one.

California has announced that they are broke and like the rest of us, need a loan, 600 car dealerships are closing per month in America, #1 status credit buyers (perfect credit scores) do not get a loan, six out of every ten cars in America are sold on credit (loans). Sixty Minutes last night on CBS reports that this entire banking crisis thing was the direct result of incompetent greedy bankers and now YOU pick up the tab. Bank of America pulls a $125 million dollar credit line from a west coast home builder who they have been doing business with for almost two decades, has never been late on one single payment and was current at the time the credit was withheld.

By the way, last Tuesday, Mr. Bush signed off on a bill to give the automobile companies $25 billion in loans, you know about that? Now let’s review: $85 billion for A.I.G., $800 billion plus for the Wall Street Hole In The Head Gang, $25 billion for the GM boys.

First thing you know, we are gonna be talking some REAL MONEY here.

Business as usual, the jets are flying this morning in some restricted zone far from here in some distant land, and the smart bombs are falling like spring rain on some poor sap just trying to get by like you and me. The lunch counter will be abuzz with new ideas and theories on how to eliminate these Robber Barons on The Street and find new ways to pay off the lobbyists goons that are sapping the lifeblood of our treasury (currently empty right now).

America is really an amazing place. We can send an eighteen year old to a distant far away place to die, but we cannot prosecute these malfeasance bankers who sit high up in the ivory towers, immune to the problems of the rest of the world.

Modern Day Untouchables and worse, with taxpayer bonuses.

We spend billions to search the globe for the last bed a terrorist slept in, and allow our own children to go to bed at night hungry. Our old and aged, sick and ignored, rot away in rest homes for lack of medical attention.  It’s so bad even the Mexicans went home, and they were living here for free.

About the only good news I can see here is that sack of garbage O.J. Simpson was found guilty and will be sentenced in December to a possible life in prison … Which is about 13 years too late if you ask me. Just like Elvis, when he joined the Army, we will lose on revenue on this too.

I find it ironic that he is being held in “security isolation” from the general prison population for his own safety. He seems to like knife fights, let him out in the yard with the rest of his peers.

Time to get back to work, we still have to rescue some twenty border-line bankrupt airlines, we are not done yet.


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NBA or NFL

36

Have been accused of spousal abuse

7

Have been arrested for fraud

19

Have been accused of writing bad checks

117

Have directly or indirectly … Bankrupted at least 2 businesses?

3

Have done time for assault

71 … Repeat …
71

Cannot …Get a credit card due to bad credit

14

Have been arrested on drug-related charges

8

Have been arrested for shoplifting

21

Currently are defendants in lawsuits, and


84

Have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year.

Can you guess which organization this is?

Answer here.

Cognoscible Musings

Discourse must be in words, and it is possible to give a name to that which is not understood nor cognoscible by human reason. Man, if that doesn’t sound impotent, nothing does.

Nice day today, little rain on the driveway and I have decided the subject should be language.

From time to time I get a kick out of Authors’ site (A Curious State Of Affairs) she has a good read, and the difference in the language is interesting. She has a vivid style and certainly a flare for the unusual and interesting.

Trying to keep up what is going on (not just here, but everywhere) I read on the BBC and a few English or European blogs, a few in Asia, I surf around quite a bit and I sometimes find words such as: Calignosity, niddering, fusby and olid, which are among two dozen archaic words that can be found in some circles.

In case you are wondering, the above words mean, darkness, cowardly, squat, and foul smelling, respectively. And of course … They just gave my spelling checker the electronic equivalent of a stroke as I typed them.

Strange expressions to the average American.  I understand they are even listed in some British dictionaries. I suppose in the future, if they don’t get more use, they will remove them.  Off-hand, I can think of about a half-dozen words in our dictionaries that should not be there, Joe Biden uses them all the time. (He patiently explains them to Bush)

We need to update our language dictionaries also.

Now Cup Cake (my wife) is Asian, and she speaks five languages. She says that English is the easiest to learn or use, as she puts it, “It is easy, you just make it up” as you go along. It tickles me to listen to her and her sister talk to each other, as they talk, they mix Chinese and English together, as some words in Chinese do not translate into English and visa-versa.

Recently someone in Madrid, Spain, linked to this site and I ventured over there to check it out, the entire site was in Spanish!  Not a word of English and it made me wonder about all the other sites this stuff goes to, is anyone translating it?  We are currently being read in over 80 countries worldwide now.

Language is a funny thing.

For instance I could type: fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno’t mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! If you can raed tihs forwrad it.

I would hazard a guess, that most of you got that. (There! Take that you nasty ol’ spellin checker!) Man what a bummer it would be if everyone conversed in that manner. It’s a safe bet that no one wants to receive a card or letter that is written like the above ….

[ If you could not read it?  It is:  If you can read this, you have a strange mind too.  Can you read this?  Only 55 people out of 100 can.  I cannot believe that I could actually understand what I was reading.  The phenomenal power of the human mind, according to a research at Cambridge University, it doesn’t matter in what order the letters in a word are, the only important thing is that the first and last letter be in the right place.  The rest can be a total miss, and you can still read it without a problem.  This is because the human mind does not read every letter by itself, but the word as a whole.  Amazing huh?  Yeah, and I always thought that spelling was important.  If you can read this forward it. ]

Dave Barry, one of my favorite humorists used to do items occasionally on “Mr. Language Person” and I always enjoyed them immensely. Because language is important in our day to day lives. Communication is essential in this day and age, an integral part of society.

For instance: A doctor was at the mall, and he happened to notice one of his elderly patients walking arm and arm with this good looking blond woman. As the patient approached the doctor he smiled real big and said to him, “Hello Doc, I am out taking advantage of your advice you gave me.” And the doctor inquired, “What advice are you referring to?” And the old man said, “You said to find me a Hot Mama and be cheerful. And that is what I am doing.”

The doctor smiled and said, “No you have it wrong. I said, you have a heart murmur, be careful.”

Communication as I said, is very important.  Not long ago, I too found myself at the mall, and this shapely wonderful looking girl came towards me and she had a tight fitting T-Shirt on and on the front of it lettered in big bold type was the word … “Guess.”

So I said implants?  And she slapped me.

Language as you can see, is important. Or as my neighbor would say ….. “Why cain’t everybody speak American, like the rest of us?”

If none of this works for you, then you can go to Noslang.com, the internet slang dictionary and translator, which will help all of you parents out there to stay hip.  The site’s translator interprets “geek speek” (there you go Brother John!  There is hope for me yet) and common Internet acronyms, such as TSWC (tell someone who cares), WWCND (What would Chuck Norris Do?).  It also features the top 25 slang words “parents should know” and a quiz to find if you’re “CLT” (Cool Like That). 

Check it out here.

As usual, in any language, I have said too much.

Have a great weekend.

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