Catching Pigs

This has to be the Email of the week for me. There was a chemistry professor in a large college that had some exchange students in the class. One day while the class was in the lab, the Prof noticed one young man, an exchange student, who kept rubbing his back and stretching as if his back hurt.

The professor asked the young man what was the matter. The student told him he had a bullet lodged in his back. He had been shot while fighting communists in his native country who were trying to overthrow his country’s government and install a new communist regime.

In the midst of his story, he looked at the professor and asked a strange question. He asked:

‘Do you know how to catch wild pigs?’

The professor thought it was a joke and asked for the punch line. The young man said that it was no joke.

‘You catch wild pigs by finding a suitable place in the woods and putting corn on the ground. The pigs find it and begin to come everyday to eat the free corn. When they are used to coming every day, you put a fence down one side of the place where they are used to coming.

When they get used to the fence, they begin to eat the corn again and you put up another side of the fence. They get used to that and start to eat again. You continue until you have all four sides of the fence up with a gate in the last side.

The pigs, which are used to the free corn, start to come through the gate to eat that free corn again.

You then slam the gate on them and catch the whole herd. Suddenly the wild pigs have lost their freedom. They run around and around inside the fence, but they are caught.

Soon they go back to eating the free corn. They are so used to it that they have forgotten how to forage in the woods for themselves, so they accept their captivity.’

The young man then told the professor that is exactly what he sees happening in America. The government keeps pushing us toward Communism/Socialism and keeps spreading the free corn out in the form of programs such as supplemental income, tax credit for unearned income, tax cuts, tax exemptions, tobacco subsidies, dairy subsidies, payments not to plant crops (CRP), welfare, medicine, drugs, etc. while we continually lose our freedoms, just a little at a time.

One should always remember two truths:

1) There is no such thing as a free lunch

2) And you can never hire someone to provide a service for you cheaper than you can do it yourself. If you see that all of this wonderful government ‘help’ is a problem confronting the future of democracy in America , you might want to send this on to your friends. If you think the free ride is essential to your way of life, then you will most likely will ignore this completely.

But God help you when the gate slams shut!

(Anon)

Swaggin In South Beach

Remember When It Was Cute

Remember When It Was Cute?

Remember back in the “Old Days” when a little butt crack was cute?  Well, not anymore.  At least that is what one Florida Judge had to say about it. (You can tell it is a slow day in Oklahoma when you find yourself sitting down to write about butt cracks!  And yes, I know South Beach isn’t close to Tampa, but it just sounded good to me)

Not in my courtroom!

Tampa, Florida – Circuit Judge Daniel Perry ordered 61 inmates on his docket back to jail so that a handful of them could change into better-fitting range pants.  According to a court transcript, Perry said he did not want to see people “with their rear ends hanging out.” For future offenders, the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office sent spare pants in various sizes to the courthouse.

The maker of Hostess Twinkies and Wonder Bread is asking a bankruptcy judge to grant it more time and money as it seeks to reach a deal with a potential investor.  A nation devoid of Twinkies … What is this world coming to?

Where’s the beef?  Over the weekend one of my favorite fast food joints (I cannot say which one, I don’t want to read any more attorney letters thank you) had an employee screw up badly.  A food franchise had taken the previous days receipts in the store, which were considerable and the owner had put them inside a bag for storage before taking to them to the bank.

This is the exact same type of bag that food orders are put into. ( I suppose you can see where this one is headed eh?)

Unfortunately, or fortunately, however you look at it.  The bag with $12,000 inside was handed out to a customer at the drive thru window.  The driver who has since disappeared, did not bother to return to tell them that they had messed up his order.

I am just happy if they get the order right, this guy must have been ecstatic!

Crews in Minnesota are wrapping up on the I-35 bridge that collapsed and it will be completed ahead of schedule. If it is done before September 16, it would be more than 100 days early. That is the good news, now here is the bad … The construction company will be paid a “bonus” of $200,000 a day for each day it is early, which is roughly about ….. well ….. you can do the math, it is so much it sickens me.

Whatever happened to just “bidding the job, getting it done on time, and moving on?”

Finally something down to earth, sensible, encouraging and worth mentioning out of the Westcoast. Seattle has taken to goats and sheep to chow down on weeds. They have released a herd of managed goats and sheep to graze on its property in the Seattle-Tacoma areas. They are being used on steep slopes and other hard to mow areas and they consume just about everything.

This is new and refreshing,  a local government using their heads for something other than a hat-rack.  Might be hope for us yet.

Good for the environment and they don’t burn a lot of fuel.

No word at this time if they are planning on applying lipstick or eye rogue to the animals, stay with us and we will keep you on top of it.

000

Related: Twinkies and Root Beer

Parting Shot: I have a friend in Nevada that has recently started up a blogspot and he would like for you to stop by and check it out.  If you have ever wondered about the life of a railroad locomotive engineer, you will find some unique and interesting railroad photography.  View The Train Engineer here.


Eyes Only For You

A few unflattering emails concerning the bathing suit picture of the prospective Vee-Pee yesterday.  Some found it inappropriate, and chastised me for it. Hey? If you don’t want a picture of a pistol-packing Yummy Mummy on the page, don’t post one on the internet.

If any of you are curious, the article is here. In all probability the photo is more than likely a “zipper-head” (Palin’s head pasted onto another persons body) and I don’t honestly know if it is genuine or not.  Sure looks nice and in all honesty I have no high expectations for it, fantasy or not.

Currently the only thing worth talking about is her glasses.

Palin’s glasses have fueled and framed a fashion spectacle. The moose-hunting mother of five, the busy Salmon hooking mom who rose from small-town mayor to governor of Alaska. GOP vice presidential pick, all around fine American working gal,  Sarah Palin is all that — and she’s got snazzy eye-glasses, to boot.  Beauty Queen?  Uh, I dunno, jury is still out on that one.

In a recent poll 58% of American’s recognized her photo and name, and 23% remembered they had missed an appointment at Lens’ Crafters.

The herd mentality has kicked in and everyone it seems is scrambling to find her style or type of glasses. They’re a pricey too, starting at $375 just for the titanium frames, (actually peaking out in the $700-$1,000 range) so you will “pay for the look.”   Some media outlets, including the Huffington Post, wondered if the glasses were “the new Hillary Clinton pantsuit.”

Personally I like Palin’s style … the “naughty librarian” look. (Oh whip me, beat me, make me write bad checks to the Republican Party!) But would Ted Kennedy if chosen as a veep candidate, be transformed into any kind of librarian, glasses or not, had he been picked?  Does Biden wear glasses … Does anyone care?

I-Don’t-Think-So-Dot-Com

F.Y.I. (For Your Information) Not being really sure, yesterday I called a “rural Oklahoma Farmer on this pig thing.”  He is a good friend, and at 86 years young, I consider him an expert on farm animals.  I got some info on Pigs:

When born, a small pig is called a “Piglet” and afterwards it is called a “pig” until it reaches the weight of 120 lbs. after that it is referred to as a “Hog.”

Most of what they are pimping off as “news” in the media these days is tougher to swallow than a glass of Tibetan Tea made of salted rancid Yak Butter.  It shows how little we’ve advanced, that we’re focusing on hair, makeup and glasses.

Oh yeah, the lipstick thing, it doesn’t work out.  Turns out they (pigs) do not like it and will actually bite you if you try.  At least that is what my “rural Oklahoman” farmer source told me about it.

Have a great weekend …

000

Related from Japan: Tokyo5

Parting shot: Keep all this in mind, you never know when you might be called upon for this little nugget of wisdom while making the rounds on the Washington Cocktail Circuit. “Yeah, they look great on Sarah Palin, but not everyone looks like Sarah Palin.”  I wonder how long it is going to take Bill Clinton to get over and re-register as a Republican.

Leader Of The Pack .. Coalition of the Defeated

President Bush is recalling 8,000 troops from Iraq by February,which we all know is …”too little … Too late.”

He is more than likely running short on bodies for Afghanistan, another false Democracy in a land of ungodly non-democratic believers.  The legacy of George Wubya Bush.

Not much time left for my favorite rapscallion of the Texas plains, that loving short little Texan who loves to end every sentence with a wink and a smirk, who has a propensity to say all the wrong things in a language that is quite simply, all his own.

Alas, his days are numbered.

I truthfully have to admit, that when the new occupant of the White House takes over (whomever or whatever they might be) I am going to sorely miss Shorty.  I will miss the occasional Bushism or neologism from what has proven to be probably the worst president in the history of U.S. Politics.

All those quaint euphemisms when dealing with real-world issues.

Al Qaeda?

In a war, you gotta trap ‘em, grab ‘em, and blame ‘em.  There’s no room for questions or civl rights when your smokin’ the bear that busted the fence.  We’re toastin’ frogs in the pond, folks, this is real barn jumpin’ stuff.  The Americkun Peeple understand.”

And late at night, if you walk the halls of the White House you can hear the CD player playing, just behind the door a lone man softly singing …

And all the kings’ horse’s and all the kings’ men … Could not put poor Humpty-Dumpty back up on the wall again.  “The Coalition of the Willing appears to be going out of business.”

In a speech yesterday announcing his plan to withdraw 8,000 troops from Iraq, President Bush also “announced that most of the countries that have been partnering with the United States in Iraq over the past five years will be pulling their troops out as well.” Read ThinkProgress’ report on the Coalition of the Defeated here.

000

Thanks to: “The material [cartoon] was published by the Center for American Progress” (online), Al Qaeda KZOK 102.6 FM