New Headlines

Portland police are not above the parking laws, even if they’re hungry.  Officer Chadd Stensgaard, who parked his patrol car illegally while making a dinner-break stop at a Japanese restaurant, must pay a $35 fine, Traffic Court Judge Terry Hannon ruled Wednesday.

The infraction came to light thanks to Eric Bryant, who was at the restaurant with friends when Stensgaard parked in a curbside no-parking zone. Bryant, an attorney, filed a citizen complaint against the officer in March.

Bad cop – No donut.

Three men were arrested outside of Reno, Nevada for spray painting rocks and defacing federal property, trees and trail markers this week.  The damage was estimated at around $1,000 and the names of the accused were as follows:  Alfredo Perez, Efrain Beccerra, and Gabriel Amaya, more than likely some of those “good folks who only come north to work and a better life.”  Buy ’em a can of spay paint so that they can write their lawyer in Mexico City a letter.

We have some new headlines for The Bad News Gazette.

Attempts to renew Little League activities fail once again due to the complete ban of all competitiveness for children.  Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4,532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.

Silicon Valley janitors approve new contract promising $156.76/hr starting salary. Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative. Cloned cockroaches presenting significant pest problem. Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.  Al Gore loses big toe from frostbite in the Artic filming a documentary on the last iceberg.

Barry Bonds lobbies Major League Baseball for entry into the Hall of Fame; says even though his hat size is now up to 22 is not proof he ever took steroids. Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.  Oklahoma City hopes to have a name for its looted basketball team by the end of the year.  New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2030.  Major air carriers across the U.S. annouce a $14 fee for just “inquiring about a possible flight to anywhere.”

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.  Some American’s have still not received their stimulus check.  It is now legal in Vermont to burn your furniture during the winter months in order to stay warm.  Temperatures set a new record in downtown Los Angeles, 126* and rising.  Glacier National Park is renamed Big Rocky National Park (no more glaciers).

Las Vegas puts online a second sewage treatment plant and the bad news is now there are ample supplies of treated sewage water … The good news is, there doesn’t seem to be enough to go around. Utah voters set to approve smoking only in privately owned bathrooms in homes. While the ban on all smoking by non-residents remains the Law of the Land.  Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton unite over proposal to ban the word “ask” and replace it with “axe” in all U.S. Schools.

The novel To Kill a Mockingbird is banned from schools as it promotes a depiction of a hate crime and actually encourages racism.  Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines and hanging chads.  American Idol losers go on USA tour and sing Old Beatles tunes, the ghost of John Lennon appears in New York City asks a cab driver to “please just shoot me again.”

Creative Endeavors writes a post on Coffee and WordPress.Com actually puts it in the category that it was linked to entitled … believe it or not … “Coffee.”

Have to go, almost time to catch the bus downtown.  With the high price of gasoline, I am doing my best to find a suitable mode of alternative transportation, which believe me, is not easy in Oklahoma.  I have to walk two blocks north of here to catch the bus.  There is a bench which is usually occuppied by some old geezers just like me, headed downtown.

Often the conversation is stimulating and quite interesting.

First Okie:  “Which do you think is farther away… Florida or the moon?”   The second Okie ponders on the subject a little, then turns and says  …. “Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida?”

All that … And the fare is only a buck.

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RELATED: GOOD NEWS/BAD NEWS

An Imperfect World

I owe some of you an apology, it seems there have been some repeaters (duplicate postings) here lately, and I apologize for that.  WordPress.com has been presenting me with some problems and I believe I have a handle on it and there should not be any more of these repeaters in the future.

If you would like a more detailed explanation of what has been going on with the WordPress.Com Black Hole, please click on this link.  Again, I am sorry if you linked to this and then later on you found dead space.  Your absolute best bet is to either Bookmark the page or use the RSS Feed, other than those two, it seems all bets are off with this system.  I guess it would be a pretty boring world if everything went the way we wanted it to huh?  But dog-gone it, I would just like to win one every now and then, that would be nice.

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Friday-Friday, Edie who came on earlier in the week with her caustic comments on Sneaking Into America did not furnish a website address or a blog for us to inspect her works, another nasty little Nut-Job Internet troller has been found, stick a pin in the map.  They come onboard, take their little cheap shot, and then move on, most of the time, never to appear again.

What a sad commentary on life huh?

It has been an especially trying week for me and I have had trouble adjusting to everything that has been coming down the pike, but I believe I will make it.  Lost two friends recently, one to natural causes and the other just faded away, that has been on my mind too.  I have to finish this and then go see what in the world is wrong with my music program, it is jamming up and giving me fits.  I seem to be in the Bermuda Triangle of the Electronic World this week for some strange reason.  The stinkin lawnmower took four pulls yesterday and it is still hot outside.

Been one of those weeks, let me tell you.

This morning I discovered I had a Trojan horse on my computer, but the members of the viral killer community assured me it would be easy to remove and it was not a big threat to me or my system.  Eleven pages of printed out instructions later, it was gone.  I had to shut down four times, reboot, run two complete full scans and finally after about ninety minutes or so, I was as my Mom used to say pulling me out of the bathtub …. “Squeaky clean and ready for bed!”

What a pain in the part of you that goes over the fence last that was.

Folks up in Seattle are talking about us, and our recently yet to be named looted basketball team.  Here is a sample of what I found yesterday on some local DJ banter.  “We have a three-way tie for Quote of the Day, first involving former voice of the Sonics and the new voice of Seattle Sounders FC, Kevin Calabro.  Kevin: I’m too old a dog to start over. My family and I have roots here in the area. You know, we’ve been here 21 years and we’ve raised four kids here in the great Northwest. We’ve done a fair amount of moving around, which is not uncommon in this business. And so when you find a home and you find a quality of life like we have here, you don’t take that lightly, and you never take it for granted. No, we’ve always wanted to stay here, no question. Oklahoma City, with all due respect to them and their community, it had absolutely no attraction for us.  Spike: With all due respect, it’s a poo-hole. With all due respect. I love you!”

Now I have lived here all my life, but I honestly have to admit, I have never heard it called a “poo-hole” before.  I had mistakenly assumed they were talking about that hole in the tree where the bear went to get the honey.  What a sheltered life I seem to live.  Does this mean that there is no Giant Pink Bunny in the Universe who laid the egg that later became our planet?

News is now saying that cellphone use could be linked to cancer.  First it is, then it isn’t, I sure wish they would make up their mind.  Reminds me of that thing awhile back.  Coffee is good for you, coffee is bad for you … coffee is ……. Well, you get the picture dont’cha?

So now it has moved over to cellphones.  They are now saying it has something to do with “static electro magnetic waves” or something like that.  I have to be honest about it.  I really don’t notice a difference in reception or brain waves when I am wearing my tin-foil hat, but I do admit that I take it off for incoming calls.

Some gal left me a message this morning that began with “Hi Honey” and it was not my wife, and it never fails to amaze me, “How can someone listen to an outgoing voice mail message from a complete stranger and not know that it is a complete stranger?”

Must be a blonde.

Local Malcontent has set a date for his wedding; it is going down in December.  He is a good guy, I wish them well.  I just finished reading this book on “How To Be The Man of Your House.”  Pretty interesting reading, took some of it task, and decided I would run it by the wife.

I came storming into the kitchen and announced: From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is law.  Furthermore, you will prepare for me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I am finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert.  After dinner, you are going to draw me a warm bath, so that I might relax.  Afterwards you will retire to the bedroom and do with me, what it is that I desire.  Then, you will massage my feet and hands, then tomorrow, guess who is going to dress me and comb my hair?” There was a short pause and then she responded …. “The Freakin’ Funeral Home Director?”

Marriage is often like that … give and take.  Here is another view of marriage for you.

Girl across the street is having a garage sale, man I hate garage sales!  They are a lot of work, no profit, and people just irritate the fizz out of you.  “Will you take a dime for this?” and you reply, “Lady, that is a Microwave Oven for cryin’ out loud!”

No sir, don’t want any garage sales.

Email has certainly heated up this week, it appears that the Email-Contact link is very popular for some reason.  Here is the absolute best email of the week:  “Texas Bar Sues Church.” In a small Texas town (Mt. Vernon), Drummond’s Bar began construction on a new building to increase their business.  A local Baptist church started a campaign with petitions & prayers to block the bar from opening.  Work progressed right up until the week before opening when lightning struck the bar, and it burned to the ground.

The church folks were rather smug in their outlook after that, until the bar owner sued the church on the grounds that the church was ultimately responsible for the demise of his building, either through direct or indirect actions or means.  The church vehemently denied all responsibility or any connection to the building’s demise in its reply to the court.

As the case made its way into court, the judge looked over the paperwork.  At the Hearing he commented, “I don’t know how I’m going to decide this, but as it appears from the paperwork, we have a bar owner who believes in the power of prayer, and an entire church congregation that does not.”

Because of the apparent unreliability of this system (WordPress) I would RSS or Bookmark this site if you want to insure you receive it.  They are evidently posting or not posting where-ever they want to or do not want to … And I cannot guarantee it will be here as it supposed to be, nor will it be where it is tagged.

Which I believe is all that I think I understand about what it is that I think I know about it, generally speaking.

Have a Great Weekend.

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A Colombian Addiction

A cup of coffee this morning, my first cup in four days and it is good, I have missed it something terribly. Bad headaches and withdrawal on the first couple of days, certainly did add to my misery. We all have our addictions in life, mine over the years have varied, but this is right now, and right now it is coffee.

I just drink too much of it, and it is pulling my health down, something had to be done. My addictions are legendary, at least in my mind, they are. My life is littered with the all the pitfalls of addiction that came and took something away, and left very little in return. It used to be nicotine, chemical dependencies, and to some extent, in my youth, sex.

Now late in life, it is coffee.

One more monster I have to deal with, an old friend, that came to visit and stayed with me at a early age. I began drinking coffee at the Do-Nut Shop when I was 12 years old on my first paper route, and continued right on thru to this point in my life. I suppose that over time, I have consumed an ocean of this exotic wonderful Colombian brew.

This morning is different. I am limiting myself to just two cups and that is all.

This morning there is a new regime on my street. I used to gulp it down, post-haste, something akin to an old dog on a half-eaten weaner, whoosh and it was gone. This morning however, I am slow to take it in, I savor its richness on my tongue, I savor its warmth, I give it a short respite, so that I might enjoy what it has to offer just a little more, before I swallow.

I am doing my best to enjoy my addiction and not allow it to consume me any more. Learning or rather re-learning the sweet pleasure it affords and at the same time, limiting my intake of its intoxicating measure.  We all have our demons to deal with and once again I find myself doing battle with one of mine.

John, my recently departed friend in Arizona, used to make it something just short of a witches brew, a dark elixir the color of oil sand tar, that would eat the rust off the side of a pot. He would laugh, “Ya gotta put some makin’s in it, or the brew isn’t worth drinking” was his expression as I recall. He then he would dump four scoops of coffee into a 10 cup mix and hit brew.

What came out was something resembling the color of asphalt and as strong as you could imagine, battery acid comes readily to mind. A little too much for me, I am a two scooper kind of guy and not much more than that.  He seems gone so long now, I miss him, and I yearn for his company.

I guess to live in some respects, is to suffer.  In order to survive, it would seem you would have to put some meaning in the suffering.  Two cups per day in my opinion is pathetic, I surely want and possibly “need more.”

But it would be more prudent to limit the intake and live a little while longer.

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Related: Guilty Sipping