Git Your Butt Back Home …

Country Girl.

Bad news for Rosie, Jessica Simpson states today (for anyone that cares?) that she is a country girl at heart, and that she likes boys.  “I don’t care what tabloid you read, but I just want you to know that I’m just a girl from Texas, I am just like you, I’m doing what it is I love and dating a boy.” Thank’s so very much for straightening me out on that Jess, I was really worried there for a bit.  I am still a little bit concerned about this kid on American Idol, Ryan Seacrest.

Man, do I love Alabama or what?

Two brothers were arrested in connection with fishing boat thefts along Mobile Bay.  They were stripping the boats and selling their motors to local part stores.  All together they got about a dozen boat motors before police arrested them.  Wonder what a thirty five horse Evenrude is going for these days?

California Dreaming.

This one is a hoot.  A charter boat passenger who fell overboard was saved by the Harbor Police, only to struggle against his rescuers until they shot and killed him aboard the boat.  The man fought with two officers and struck one of them with an officer’s stun gun and tried to take the other officers handgun.  The man was shot once in the torso and died.  Talk about biting the hand that is feeding you?

Good Cop – Here is your Donut.

McHenry County police in Illinois are going to have a Do-nut run and they’re inviting Bikers to join in.  All proceeds are going to charity.  The motorcycle tour finishes with food, entertainment, and of course, a donut eating contest.  My money is on the cops!

Thatta boy Gov. What a guy … What a guy.

State Democrats in Nevada filed a complaint against their Governor Gibbons.  They are alleging that he abused his power to get a property tax break for land he owns.  State records show that the land was previously valued at $5,000 and the governor (A Republican by the way) had the land re-evaluated and zoned agricultural, the tax burden is now considerably reduced ….. Would you believe $15?

No!  I DON’T HAVE A QUARTER!

Undercover cops in Atlanta, Georgia are now wearing concealed cameras to capture any threatening behavior from panhandlers.  A visitor survey indicated that there might be a panhandler problem, so they are on top of the issue.  Perhaps we should get them in contact with our progressive, highly foresighted city fathers here in Oklahoma City.  They didn’t pass an ordinance against panhandling, they required the panhandlers to purchase a $25 permit in order to operate.

So in essence, even tho’ you are on the down and out, starving, it will still be necessary to pay the city in order to beg.  This is how we are going to pay for our New Un-Named Basketball Team we looted from the folks in Seattle recently.

Not only building castles in the sky, he is now living in them.

Obammer was recently in Afghanistan giving speeches on what he is going to be doing about terrorism in the future.  I don’t know where he is today, at this moment, wait?  I think I hear a helicopter  …  Said he wanted to get an early start on the program and meet, face-to-face with the folks he will be working with.  Now let’s see, he tells us that we are going to pull out the troops in the middle east, but he is telling them, we are going to take an aggressive stand on the terrorist problem?

Here is another one to beam up Scotty …… Energize.

As he began his trip designed to bolster his foreign policy credentials, the presumptive Democratic nominee spoke in Afghanistan on Sunday as if his election … and his Re-Election …. Were foregone conclusions.  “It’s important for me to start listening to them now, getting a sense of what their interests and concerns are.  This trip gives me a head-start on that process.”

Here is a novel idea.  How about listening to AMERICAN’S and let the FOREIGNERS take care of their OWN problems, and what the hey?  Maybe going thru the process and getting ELECTED first, what do you think about that?

OBRAGRA:  “If your indignation and disgust lasts for longer than four hours, consult an elected official as soon as you can.”

I swear, if I saw a snake and a politician crawlin’ in the front yard, I would have to shoot the politician.

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Come Fly With Me …

WordPress.Com didn’t see fit to publish this anywhere yesterday, so I am going to keep posting it until it finally goes somewhere.  If you happened on this site yesterday and found it here (the “ONLY” place it was published) skip it and go onto to something else.

Thank you so very much LDS

The wife likes to eat at this International House Of Pancakes, they have this deal, “BOGO” (buy one and get one) after three PM for Seniors.  Not a bad deal.  Used to be Buy One and the second one is free, and then it went to Buy One and the second one is 50% off, now it is Buy One and get your butt outta here!  No, I jest.  It is usually a percentage price of the first one.

For Sale --- Dirt Cheap

For Sale --- Dirt Cheap

John McCain and Barack Obama both have vowed to reform the nation’s defense procurement if elected president, yet each is unwilling to take a firm stand against the skyrocketing cost of a plum White House perk: the new Marine One helicopter

Originally carrying a hefty price tag at $6.1 billion, the fleet of 28 helicopters being built to fly the next president is now projected to cost $11.2 billion.  If that doesn’t get your hackles up, maybe you might want to know, the helicopters are “not American” helicopters, but rather foreign made birds.

At $400 million apiece, the helicopters far exceed a prime example McCain uses on the campaign trail to rail against congressional pork-barrel spending, a $230 million “bridge to nowhere” in Alaska. (This could be an error, I understand that the bridge was recently canceled, but the State of Alaska decided to “keep the money” and didn’t tell anyone how they expected to spend it.)  This whole election seems to be a pathway to nowhere anyway, so it appears the point is now moot.

Back to the helicopters.

The British have bought the same base model helicopter for

$57 million each.

Wasn’t it T. Barnum Bailey who said … “There is a sucker born every minute?”

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A Matter Of Time …

So I find myself sitting in a beanery waiting on the girl to bring my food and I feel lower than a snake.  Kind of like the day that you lost your first bicycle or they chose you to dance with the tallest girl in the class on a rainy day in the Gymnasium.

One of those type of things.

Having just checked my stats for the day, I discover much to my dismay, only 36 people had come by and I am for some reason, beside myself, I cannot figure it out.  Am I writing this thing for 36 people?  It is eating me alive.  I think about all these poor desperate souls on the internet lamenting the fact that no one ever comments on their stuff, that absolutely no one ever stops by their site.

Have I, by some bizarre twist of fate, become one of them?

A chill runs up my spine, the hair on the back of my neck gets stiff.  Which is a quirky thing in itself, because that is about the only place I still have left that grows hair and also gets ……… I digress.

So I roll it over and over in my mind.  I have this epiphany about it (my kid calls them brain farts), I distinctly remember all those tiny little red dots on my global map, and I say to myself, “No wait a minute, if I have all those red dots on the map, that HAS TO BE more than 36 people.” Suddenly, faster than a Hong Kong second, my faith in my abilities and mankind is restored.

My eggs and bacon arrive, she refills my coffee cup and all is well with my world.  I am now free to pontificate in my particular dogmatic and often pompous way.

Life is good.

Texas gave preliminary approval this week to wind generation, which is certainly a positive step forward in our energy situation.  PUC Commissioner Paul Hudson said Texas now leads the nation in wind power, and that with this deal, Texas “will add more wind than the 14 states following Texas combined.”  As with everything in America, this is not going to be free, not by a long shot.  It will cost consumers on the average about $4 a month more on their electric bills to fund the $4.9 million dollar project.  The wind is “free” but the rest of it, well, ya’ll (Texas Term of endearment) have to pay for thet.”

Pass me another bowl of hairballs and grease.  Mississippi, Alabama and Tennessee lead the nation when it comes to obesity.  Or at least they’re “owning up to it” — Oklahoma could fit in there somewhere, but is more than likely being quiet about it.  We have our fair share of corn fed heifers and good ol’ pot bellied-boys here in Sooner Land.  I myself have been prone to purchase a “FBXLG” T-shirt from time to time.  (Full Belly Xtra Large)

Last time I checked, we were rated the 47th most unhealthy place to live and were leading the nation in heart disease and a few other ugly nasty things that HMO’s just hate. You know what HMO stands for?  “Hand Over Your Money Or Die.”

Local Malcontent is getting married … Nobody warned me, so I am not warning you!  Hah!  Congratulations are in order.  Just one thing to remember …  A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

Si Habla this. I have been ranting and raving for months about it, now finally some relief.

A trucker was issued a $500 ticket for not speaking English well.  Believe it or not, Federal Law requires that anyone with a commercial driver’s license speak English well enough to talk with police.  Evidently this guy didn’t possess that skill and was issued a citation.  His attorney (your usual ACLU you just gotta love ‘em too death barrister) says that he is proficient in English on a “third grade” level.  So I guess this would be tantamount to a toddler operating a 80,000+ Semi on the Interstate.  You can read all about it here.

All this stuff going around about the late Heath Ledger and his performance (as the joker) in this movie currently out, the buzz about it possibly receiving an Oscar for the departed actor (suicide in New York a couple of months ago) well, that is just downright creepy.

Here is another one for the “Don’t Be A Dick Files.”

Andy Dick was arrested this week outside a bar in Murrieta, California after he pulled down a teenager’s top, police said.  A 17-year old girl told police that Dick, 42, “grabbed her tank top and bra and pulled them down and exposed her breasts.”  Police said that they found marijuana and Xanax in the comedian’s pockets and he is now facing charges of drug use and sexual battery.

Now what is a 17-year old girl doing in a bar in California anyway?

One more and then I am outta here.  A grand jury has indicted State Senator John Cowdery on bribery and conspiracy in an outgoing federal investigation.  The Alaska Senator has been involved with three former Alaska lawmakers and two oil executives.

Federal prosecutors allege Cowdery, 78, an Anchorage Republican, conspired with executives of the oil company, VECO, to bribe another unnamed senator with $25,0000 for votes to support oil and gas legislation in that state.  Cowdery’s lawyer, said his client has not been arrested.

Which is kind of strange when you stop to consider it.  “If you are not arrested, then why do you need a lawyer?”

78 years old, he should have known better.  Arrested or not we do understand he has lost his “head of the line privileges at Star Bucks” this type of political chicanery cannot go unpunished.

There you go, “all the news that is fit for print, or causes fits in print.”

Oh yeah, this post today, marks a visible milepost for this blog, this is #301 for this year, a minor milestone or marker in time.  it doesn’t seem that long, that it was just post #1 and setting out on a brand new adventure …  Thanks so much for droppin’ by to share it with me.

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