Good News – Bad News

You ever get tired of television or the Sunday Paper telling you that your not as beautiful as you should be, or strong enough, or fashionable enough to fit in. You ever get tired of a constant steady stream of bad news on the airwaves.

Television news broadcasters assault us with story after story of how bad things are in the world these days.

If it bleeds … Then it leads. Seems to be the most popular approach to television news. Bad news is the new mantra of the twenty-first century. Get used to it.

Yesterday my next door neighbor, Marc, said to me, “If I hear one more sound bite on gasoline, McCain or Obamma. I am going to take a gun and blow my brains out!” I have to agree, on some days I am right in there with him on that.

By the time you reach age 18 it is estimated that you have seen approximately 200,000 violent acts on television, some of that includes murders, at about 16,000. Each of us deals on a daily basis with this kind of stuff and I figure over the years, just like anything else, it has to affect us.

Taking it one step further, I will go out on a limb here and venture that a great many of us have become “addicted to all this bad news” even though we are painfully aware it is no good for us, we still seek it out.

We have to have it. It is our elixir of life for the day.

Now one of these days I figure, things are going to turn around, and all of the news is going to be good for a change. Things are going to slow down in our favor, and life is going to vastly improve for the majority of us. Money won’t be tight, she will never have a headache, cable tv will be free.

(Hey? This is MY story, ok?)

What about those poor unfortunate folks who are addicted to nothing but bad news. They are going to miss it something terribly. That is why I have decided to print a “Bad News Paper” for all those folks who cannot stand to live without their daily dose of bad news.

The Bad News Gazette will contain: Negative thought, bad memories, hard times. Because they are addicted to it. They are going to miss all this, that is where I come in, I am gonna print a bad news paper. Having found themselves cruelly missing this, I will provide it for them. That I am afraid is the down side.

But here is the upside, I should make millions.

My 911 at-large-mobile-correspondent in Nevada, (Art) has come up with some possible headlines.  We feel as if these will be suitable for the first start off additions of the Bad News Gazzette, check out the new headlines here.