Weed Eaters

Here we go!  Another feeble attempt to make some NEW friends!

Ah, summertime, that time of the year, when everything blooms, it grows, spreads out, a time of plenty, and weed-whackers! This has to be a tool invented by Satan himself; this is the worst tool in my backyard warriors’ arsenal and the most irritating and frustrating invention known to man.

What do you get if you take the DNA and Stem Cells of a billy goat, and mix them with those of a Politician?

You get a weed-eater that will not work!

Been meaning to say something about this all week, just got jammed up and didn’t get around to it.  For all you A-Political types that simply cannot get enough of this garbage, here is the latest. Obammer has his own seal now.

This guy is not only building castles in the sky, he is living in them.

This new seal is very similar to the seal that Shorty uses when he gets in front of the podium to illustrate to the American people that even a door-stop can talk. (IE; “You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror.”—Interview with CBS News, Washington D.C., Sept. 6, 2006)

As for “replicated presidential seals” the general rule seems to be this. If you can’t make it good, make it big. And if you can’t make it big, make it blue. And if you cannot make it big and blue, just make it bigger than Bush’s which by the way, is the real deal, not this phony crap. (this has to be the absolute stoopidest thing I have heard of or seen this year)

This makes me like him even less …. You can draw your own conclusions here.  I now understand, having realized that this might have not been a “smooth move” on their part, they are no longer using this bogus seal and it has been put away.  Another skeleton for the political closet.

With the recent announcement that the air in Okie City is no longer fit to breathe, I have come up with a novel solution to the problem. It came to me the other day while sucking on a Big Slurpy at 7-11 and an apparent Brain Freeze. We can make our own oxygen. Why not, it is now possible to make your own ethanol, why not air?

Why go to the country for fresh air when you can get it at home. Like a cross between a space suit and an indoor garden, the greenhouse helmet fits securely over a persons entire head and at the same time, allowing enough space, to have a small potted plant inside with you.

We could give it some kind of catchy phrase like “The Okie Transparent Dome” or something like that. It would collect the carbon dioxide exhaled by it’s user; the plant inside (right off you left ear) would then convert this to oxygen, which is what all plants do. Now before you try this, I have found out conclusively that it doesn’t produce enough oxygen to support life, so don’t try this at home with a plastic bag or a fishbowl with a plant. It still needs a little bit of tweaking at this time.

A Miami-Dade County man has been charged with practicing medicine illegally at parties where women take shots of silicone to make their butts bigger.

The Florida Department of Health announced the arrest Thursday of Anthony Donnell Solomon for the unlicensed practice of a health care profession. Investigators said they learned Solomon was providing cosmetic procedures for women at so-called “pumping parties” in May.

Authorities set up a fake party at a hotel and arranged for Solomon to attend. Investigators said he was arrested after he agreed to inject an undercover detective. It was not clear if he had an attorney.

Why try and improve on a perfect image anyway, a lot of things in life, stand on their own.

Now in Oklahoma we do it a lot differently, you just go to your favorite rib joint and order the special. We just let nature do it naturally around here. As I am once again, borderline PC on this, one more thing and we will move on.

When your wife looks at you and says, “Honey, do you think these pants make my butt look big?” the correct answer is “NO.”  Do not under any circumstances reply with, “Oh baby, I just luv your fat thighs.” That will get you Tuna Fish sandwiches and nothing more for supper for at least three days.

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2 thoughts on “Weed Eaters

  1. hi
    Amusing.Not as amusing as our South African politic but then i love my country and the wild life just would not be the same without some monkey`s.The next time your wife says something tell her u are in shape for round is a shape

    Glad you stopped by.

    Some really scary things happening in Africa right now, you are dead right on that. Your patriotism is commendable and I salute you for it. I too love my country and what it stands for, but it breaks my heart to see what some are doing to it.

    It has sort of gone away over here, we have the patriot act, but that doesn’t actually support patriotism, it kind of takes away from it.

    I could tell my wife a lot of things, but then again, this is not a good policy either. I asked her the other day what she was thinking about and she gave me that cat in a fishmarket stare and said …… Why?

    Know what I mean?

    Thanks for dropping’ by.

    DS

    Like

  2. Hi
    Its jurgen from SA.Try click on my blog now

    Jurgen, WordPress might be blocking it, but it is not showing up on this end, sorry.

    DS

    Like

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