Farewell Tour

Nuts! There it is again. That naggin’ thought to get out an exercise. I hate it when that happens. A few years back I tried it and it was no fun at all. I basically felt like my body had gotten totally out of shape. So I got my doctor’s permission to join a fitness club and start exercising on a daily basis. I decided to take a aerobics class for seniors.

I bent, I twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and I perspired for the better part of thirty minutes … But by the time I got my sweat pants on … the class was over.

Bush has returned from visiting with the Queen Mummy and discussing how he will be viewed by history and flyin’ all over the world (in the end it doesn’t really matter, how is this going to affect the price of groceries … The price of rice in China).  I suppose even the Queen Mummy can learn something from our President.

He can teach her about Jihads, killing economies, homeland security in a nation who has lost most of their “homelands.” (homes) How to stretch the truth, country fences which oughta be horse high, pig tight and bull strong. Mostly importantly, how to stretch your oil lobby dollar and make it last.

Now let’s see, aviation fuel is $5.21 per gallon, Air Force One holds 47,200 gallons, $245,912.00 to fill it up. Now it burns how many gallons per hour … Talk about wasting fuel.  The media is calling it “The Farewell Tour” or something like that.

Couldn’t come too soon.  You get the picture, don’tcha?

Three guys in Spokane, Washington, evidently having a little too much of the grape, decided in their inebriated state to streak Denny’s Restaurant. Having decided to have a little fun by running thru the local Denny’s at dawn, they all stripped down to their birthday suits, wearing just their shoes and hats.

While this evidently was a bad plan from the very beginning, it did get worse.

They all tossed their clothes, ID and everything not necessary for the plan, into their car, which was left running with the keys in it. While they were streaking through the restaurant, someone stole their car and their clothes. The three naked pranksters had to hide behind parked cars until police arrived to take them to jail.

About 67-69 more days until the Democratic Melt-Down, uh, Countdown, in Denver. Speaking of Denver? I need to get on the horn and give my Aunt a call, see if she can get me some of those new “scratch and sniff” lottery tickets.

Ah, the sweet smell of success.

Yeah, I can just hear you, sitting back in your comfortable chair and saying to yourself, “Okay, this twisted Okie has gone too far today, I am not buying into that one at all.” In case you are not one of the regular daily readers and do not believe, here is the link. Scratch off.

Now if the post office should happen to comes out with a stamp on the Anniversary of the Pap Smear or something like that, you can bet I am not licking that!  Where will all this end? Have the inmates taken over the asylum in this country or what?

Al Gore has introduced Obammer this week and officially threw his “support” into the ring, only took him a couple of years, where you been Al? Sorry Hillary, “No Girls Allowed” it is the good ol’ boy network from here on out. Now is the time to get out and get that Latino vote, after all, they have the keys to all the buildings in America now, don’t they.

I am now going back to working on my plan. My very own personal “Exit Strategy” like the boys on the hill are fond of saying.

Still time left before the November elections to move away from the coasts, Big Cities, Drought Zones, Fault lines, Volcanoes, Tornado Alley and Flood plains. Disconnect from the power grid, move to Belize and live in a tree house and eat bananas!

Today I am lined out to locate rucksacks at China Mart for the trip.