Bikinis – Speedos in Utah

Man, this bloggin’ stuff can really go to your head, can’t it?  I was out at the Mall this weekend and I heard ….. “Hey Look!  There’s Don Smith!” and all these people turned around and stared at me … I am never, ever going to yell that out again, that was embarrassing.

 

Kanab, Utah has come to their senses and are now going to allow Bikini’s at the Local Watering Hole and that is great.  Speedo’s are not however allowed (No banana slings in Mormon Country sorry) and you can read all about it here:  Bikini ban

 

Some of the finest people in the world live on my street; I have some of the best neighbor’s anyone could ask for.  Most of them are just great, one is a crotchety old **** but we won’t dwell on that (I just absolutely hate talking about myself). We often have in the cool of the evening, tail-gate get togethers in the front yard, sit on the end-gate of an old truck and shoot the bull. 

 

The other day on Father’s Day, I asked my friend and neighbor, “Why was it you and your wife, waited so long to have kids?”

 

He said … “One of the reasons I waited so long is because, when you go to Catholic high school, they pound into your head not to get anybody pregnant. Otherwise you’ll be stuck with them the rest of your life, and it’s against God’s will, and all that. So when I finally got my wife pregnant, I was almost embarrassed and ashamed, you know. I had to tell my parents, I’m sorry, but I got somebody pregnant.”

 

The Ask A Kid post proved to be rather popular a lot of people viewed it and found it amusing, we might do another.  Kids are neat eh?  Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

Listen ….. Shhhhhhhssssss, quiet.  If you turn down the radio and listen really hard, you can here Dick Cheney, sitting in his house, chortling-giggling and snickering as gas prices go up.  Bush and Company tell us that “we pay more for gasoline, because it is a world wide, global thing and that is why gasoline prices are so high.”  (And if frogs had wings they would not bump their butts when they hopped) 

 

Which is, if you are in your right mind, absolutely ridiculous.  Today I found this:  Cheap Mexican Gasoline, you make the call. 

 

Lot of folks talking about moving downtown, escalating gas prices are driving people to move closer to work, all of a sudden, living close to the boss is a viable uncomfortable option.  Personally, I wouldn’t trade the clear stars for downtown street lights for anything. I don’t care what the price of fuel is.

 

We’ve got piece of mind. We’ve got safety out in my neck of the woods.  And you’ve purchased a property on the outskirts of town in the country; you have got the wonderful smell of that dairy air.

 

Middle of the Week …. Hammer Down … The Weekend is on the Horizon.

 

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Back Door Cowboys … (audio)

Back in 1849 there was a big push to make it out to the coast that was fueled by an urge to be rich, the lure of Gold in the Sierra Nevada’s brought a lot of men to California.  Now days it is just the opposite, a lot of men going to California, bringing the gold (bands) and getting married.

Mass. Quickly jumped on the bandwagon, and Washington State recently passed same-sex legislation and now the Golden State has announced “that it is all right” this from the Governator Arnold Schawartzen-whatever who not long ago was calling his legislators “Girly Men.”

Today quite a few media news sites had “Gay Marriage” as the search engines most popular item.  Everyone it seems is in a hurry to get out to the coast and get “legally married” as they put it.  I guess all these people are sick of being single and finishing their own sentences or something?

California has become known as the friendly destination for gay travelers and it appears that they are really rolling out the welcome mat.  Some states will do anything for the tourist dollar.  California websites (there are four of them) are showcasing gay marriage sites and helping with reservations.  There is an address but you will not be getting it from me.  I am strictly boy-girl-boy-girl-boy-girl, I don’t believe in this at all.

An old cowboy leaned back in his rickety chair, up against the wall, and stared off into the horizon.  There he spotted, far away, a small singular speck in the distance.  Gradually as time went on the spec grew in size, and after awhile, he recognized it as a man on horseback.

Time in the west Texas sun quickly passed, and the lone character on the horizon a man on a horse, eventually rode up to the front porch of this Texan’s place.  He stopped, smiled broadly and then announced, “I am your neighbor, I have been riding over here to invite you to a party at my place tomorrow night.”

The Texan in the chair said, “Yes, I have been noticing you riding here for quite sometime, glad you stopped by.  What kind of party is this at your place?”

The rider replied, “Well, there’s gonna be some music, and some whiskey and drinking, and some more music, and some whiskey and some drinking, and I suppose some dancin’ … and then there’s gonna be some sex!”

The old rancher smiled real big and said, “What is it you think I should wear?” And the neighbor replied, “Don’t make much difference, it is just gonna be me and you.”

The west is a changin’ Buckaroo’s (never thought I would use that word in a sentence).  Broke Back Mountain and now this.  Gives new meaning to every western I have ever seen or will see I guess.

I am gonna pump you full of lead.  Give me a stiff one barkeep.  Don’t fret, I have been in tight spots before.  Howdy Partner  You stay here while I sneak around from behind.  Saddle sore.  Hold it right there!  Now move your hand, reeeal slow-like.  Let’s mount up.  Nice spread you got here.  Ride ‘em Cowboy!

I always had my doubts about those boys on the Ponderosa.  Always figured that Ben was okay, but I worried about the boys quite a lot.  They never could hold down a lady for any amount of time, and the women in that show always kind of got “killed off every week.”  Made me curious every Sunday Night about Seven P.M.  I always wondered about them and maybe Hop Sing .. you know.

There is no doubt that same-sex marriages and vacations in California are gonna take off this summer, and it will to some extent be good for the local economy.  As for me, a chair and a glass of sweet tea on the front porch is good enough for me.

Perhaps I am just plain stooopid or something, but I just don’t get it.

BACK DOOR COWBOY

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