Fuelish Moves

Fly By NiteToday was one of those rare, picture perfect Oklahoma Days, where you can sit on the porch and hear yourself think.  All the dogs are laid down and nappin’, no meter readers sneaking thru the yards, the police helicopter is in the stall at the downtown airpark, and I have peace of mind.

Sitting there in my very best George Bush Lied T-Shirt, sucking on a cup of good Columbian Coffee from China Mart and thinking about how sweet life seems to be. 

Then my neighbor Donna walks up and out of nowhere and announces, “You are going to have to take that camper off your truck, and get rid of that wind thingy on the roof.”  (It is an air deflector, but you have to remember, we are Okies, and a lot of the time, we just don’t know any better) Not being a big fan or a charter member of the “we are running out of oil doggy and pony show” that currently is showing all around the country, I said to her, “Why?”

And then she proceeded to tell me about how the world as we know it is just about flat out of everything known to modern man, that we will all perish in some cataclysmic event, and much like the dinosaurs of late, disappear from the face of the earth.  That the rays of the sun will turn our well tanned bodies into tomorrows’ old wrinkled prunes, and that we will in the end be worm food for some wide-eyed half-crazed environmentalist from the Sierra Club … or the San Francisco Bay Area …. Or something like that?

It never ends for me.

Just when it gets better, and I believe I am round the corner, here they come!  Someone, somewhere, opens a gate, and they all stampede to my house, foaming at the mouth.  Her solution to the dilemma was for me to either strip my vehicle to bare bones or buy a new car.  Weird science, but like I said, “we are Okies, and a lot of the time, we just don’t know any better.” (I can just hear all those folks over there in Arkansas at the Retirement Home snickering on that one.)

If you want to subscribe to the new car, I can beat the oil companies and GM/Ford at their own monthly installment game plan, go right ahead. 

Personally I am not all that hopped up to spend a couple of thousand to save a few hundred.  It is just outright insanity.  They are building better cars these days, I will give them that.  But they can do a lot better than what they are doing now.  Until then, it is just kick back, take your time, drive slower and do your level best to slow down.

In 2004, I caught car fever; I just had to have me a new silver hoopie, fully loaded with all the bells and whistles as they say. I knew all the negative consequences with financing and purchasing a new car, but I found a way to justify the purchase in my mind. Only two years later, my $34,000 vehicle was worth about $17,800, according to “The Blue Book.”  Next to nothing, according to the “Finance Specialist at the dealer.”  It was the worst depreciated asset I ever bought, and to this day, I regret it.

That’s a $16,200 loss in value over a two-year period. That’s like driving down the street and throwing $169 out of the window each and every week.  And now, with fuel benchmarked where it is, and my 13.4 mpg, I would virtually “have to pay them” to take it off my hands, it is that bad. 

New cars lose up to 70 percent of their value in the first four years. Depending on how many miles you drive per year and the physical wear and tear, it could be more. Lottery Winners drive brand new cars.  Self-made millionaires drive slightly used, paid-for cars (2 years old). They don’t believe in car payments.

I’m not talking entertainers, athletes or CEOs. I’m talking about common, everyday working people, who might be your next-door neighbor. They became millionaires by investing every month what the typical American pays in car notes. I tend to ask people I run into with new cars, what their payment might be, if they don’t mind? 

Most of the time the answer is over $500 per month.

Doing a little researching today I discovered that the average car payment is $378 over 63 months.  Let’s say that you invested $378 every month, instead of making car payments from age 30 to age 65 (35 years). If you average a rate of return of 12 percent (which is doable), your money will grow to $2.4 million.

Do you still want the car?    

Much as it breaks my heart to disappoint my well intentioned neighbor, I am keeping my old hoopie.  I am hanging onto my old family truckster, it has all the bells and the whistles, an Okie Box to sleep in, four new tires and I can buy truck loads of fuel with the $500 a month (and don’t forget insurance on a NEW car).  I am not shelling out what little cash I have to the boys at Ford and GM, or some Sand Pirate in the Persian Gulf.

I am gonna sit right here, drink my coffee and bleed a little more …




Dream Weaver




 Meanwhile back at the cave:


“Wait.  What did you say?…You’re predicting $4 a gallon gasoline?  … I hadn’t heard that.”

George W. Bush


‘My friends, we live in the greatest nation in the history of the world. I hope you’ll join with me as we try to change it.’
 Barack Obama


“Huh?  Whatzat?”

John McClain


Have not been sleeping all that good here lately, so I did a little research on sleep and the dream state, the human body and all that good stuff.  Just finished this article on dreams and what they mean to tell you in the quiet moments of the night. 


For instance, If your teeth fall out or crumble, you’re unhappy with your physical appearance and it may also mean you’re excessively concerned about how others perceive you. 


If you’re giving birth, great change is unfolding.  Dreaming about babies indicates a desire to behave more maturely.  If you can fly, you’ve just conquered a stressful situation.  If you dream that you’re able to control where you fly, it’s a sign of confidence.  Flying aimlessly suggests you’re cautiously optimistic about your success.  Last night I dreamed I was naked as the day is long and I was slowly backing into a greasy, cold brass door knob ….. No telling on that one huh?


Fish and chips with attitude.  Police arrested a longtime restaurant owner in Acworth, Georgia for selling more than seafood out of his establishment.  Investigators said they found a pound of marijuana, cocaine, methamphetamine, ecstasy, five guns and 10 mason jars of moonshine.  And you guys thought all them boys in Alabama had all the fun? 


Check please. 


Raining here today, a little moisture and that is good.  I am listening to the rain rattle on the carport and the sound gives me the urge to go to the bathroom.  I noticed that the sound of running water will frequently do that to me, asked my neighbor the same thing, “Does the sound of running water affect you?” and he said, “Nope, don’t do a thing for me, I am as regular as clockwork, go every morning at 7:30 a.m. on the dot.”  I said, “Well that is amazing, just like clockwork huh, 7:30 a.m. every morning, right on the money?” and he said, “Yeppers.  Only thing is I don’t get up until 8:15 am or so.”


Big surprise here. 


Efforts to tax oil companies dies in the Senate this week ….. Now there is a major yawner there boys & girls?  Who would have ever “thunk thet?”  Oil protests in other countries this week too.  Hong Kong, Nepal, India …  people got out and marched in the streets to protest (notice they were not driving anything, so much for the India is using more of the world’s oil rumor huh?) and the Spanish are now reported to be stockpiling the stuff.  Fearing shortages by striking truck drivers which have also got the Portuguese to join, people are starting to protest the high price of fuel worldwide now.


AAA Auto Association is now reporting more people are being towed under Emergency Situations.  Meanwhile in Detroit, GM and Ford are furiously designing a totally new gas gauge for the 2009 model year, with an additional “F” in it.  This will be located just below empty for the convenience of the American consumer who seems to be preoccupied on running on fumes.


Rock Hill, South Carolina has had enough of “displays of enthusiasm at high school graduations” and has asked the local police to arrest anyone who is applauding at ceremonies.  I am not making this up. 


If you clap, they are hauling you off to the slammer.  Seven people were arrested by police and charged with public disorderly conduct after being accused of cheering during a recent graduation ceremony. 


The nerve of these people, actually cheering a graduating senior, are they out of their minds.  Don’t they know that it is illegal to pray before a football game in Texas, what were they thinking.  I suppose these portable Co2 boat horns are out of the question huh?


So who is it gonna be? 


Everyone is trying to outguess each other on who the Vice Presidential candidates will be.  Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, The Lone Ranger and Tonto, Batman and Robin, Sonny & Cher no longer an option, Tony Orlando and Dawn, no wait that is a three-some. 


America is fresh out of hero’s.  I seriously wrack my brain, and I just cannot figure out a dynamic duo for this election that is apparently taking forever to get over with.  Locating suitable replacements for our current leadership is presenting a problem it seems  It is going to be hard to replace “Biggy Rat and Itchy Brother” they have endeared themselves to us so much over the years.


Taking into consideration how much faith the average voter has in the system, we don’t really search out the people with the ability to lead.  When you look back on the presidents of the past, it is kind of disappointing to see how many lack-luster, less than great, presidents we have had.  We have had in the past, good ones, bad ones, mediocre ones and the one we have now.


He makes me smile … Just this week he announced “I have done about all I can for the American Economy.”  Yup … sure have, that dog aint gonna hunt either Dubya.


So I had this dream, and I am up in the air, slowly circling the Washington monument in D.C., and I can see and hear God speaking to me, around and around this ancient monolith I soar, and it is as if I have been circling for a thousand years and I still do not know if I am a Falcon, a Hawk or just a plain old Oklahoma Rock Dove (Pigeon), and I hear the rain on the carport …  and …. Uh oh.