For Sale (Dirt Cheap)

Each state, at its entrance point, usually has a sign that states something specific about that state.  IE:  Kansas, The Sunflower State, Colorado, The Rocking Mountain State, California, the Golden State.  Oklahoma has one too.  Oklahoma Native America or something like that.  


 Underneath we should have someone put a sign up that also reads: 

“Welcome To Oklahoma, Please Set Your Watches Back Fifty-Years.”


We have the proud distinction of having the most defective bridges in the entire United States, we drive on roads that are so pitiful it causes on average about $600 a year in damages to the average Oklahoman, we have pot-holes big enough to swallow a good sized dog.  They pick up “nine times the national average” in trash off of our Interstates.  We have our fair share of problems, albeit most, self generated.


Now I read where a convicted State Senator, a Mr. Gene Stipe is to be allowed his monthly pension in the amount of almost $8,000.00 per month ($7,042.00).  It was bad enough when he actually got convicted, they suspended most of his penalty, and gave him “community service by counting street lights in McAllister, Oklahoma” his home town. 


Now this type of “punishment” is an outright insult to the average working person. 

Counting street lights as community service …. Give me a break.


We have a newscaster here in Okie City that is fond of the expression …. “Is this a great state or what?”  Evidently it must be, trash, bad roads, and all.  Where else could one be employed and be convicted of felony crimes and still be awarded a monthly stipend like this?  Oregon maybe.  Senator Bob Packwood after being expelled from the U.S. Congress was sent home to be punished with a $56,000 per year pension.  


Only in America.


Recently I was talking to someone from the McAllister area and this subject came up.  He said to me that “Gene Stipe is a cunning genius.  Got time for a very quick story about me and Gene?”  I replied, “You bet.  I am all ears.  Fill me in.”


“About 5+ years ago, I was having a problem with the state, and had sought out all kinds of help from representative and my senator all.  With no results.  So I went to see Stipe in his McAlester office about it.  Stipe had known my dad casually, they both being lawyers.  So Stipe leans back in his huge leather chair, and says “Bobby (as if he knew me that well), Bobby, I may be able to help in this matter– and I’m curious to know the answer myself– did you know that I wrote a book?  I wrote a book about my life growing up here in Oklahoma, just like you.  I think you could benefit from reading my book, Bobby- And I am selling them for $25.00 a copy (“A Gathering of Heroes”).  The books are right over there, in that closet– get however many you’d like.”


So my friend said, “I bought two of the darn books.  And NO, my problem with the state was not resolved then.  Yeah, I can believe Mr. Stipe is getting 8 grand/mo.  Easily.”


Meanwhile back at the ranch, the criminal corruption trial of State Auditor and Inspector Jeff McMahan and his wife, Lori, is set to begin today in Federal Court in Muskogee, Oklahoma.  The couple is facing nine felony counts involving an alleged conspiracy to take more than $100,000 from a southeastern Oklahoma businessman in exchange for favorable treatment for his abstract companies.


As the slowly fades in the western sky, and the dusk is humming.  If you listen closely, you can hear our politicians walking the streets of their home towns … One Mississippi, Two Mississippi, Three Mississippi ….


Oklahoma the best government that money can buy.





They’re Still Coming …




Federal agents with the U.S. Border Patrol recently found 85 illegal aliens (not to be confused with immigrants) as they were being smuggled into the USA at Laredo, Texas.  By the way, if you are tired of NOT building automobiles for GM  or Ford, the Border Patrol is hiring. 

Unfortunately, if hired, you are required to live in Texas

What a bummer.


Over a period of five hours they located all of these illegals in trucks awaiting crossing to the U.S..  12 Mexicans and 3 Guatemalans were found in a truck sleeper, 20 more in the truck trailer, 32 additional in another truck, including two Hondurans and a Salvadoran locked down in a different trailer.  1 American Idol wanna-be and 2 for the Price Is Right.


If You Got It … America’s Trucks Brought It.


This black kid from Chicago moves to San Antonio and enrolls in school there.  First day he is in school, during History the teacher says, “Who was our first President?” and the black child says, “I know.  Raises his hand” and the teacher picks Jose’ and he replies, “Hor-Hay Washington.” 


The teacher says, “That is right.” 


Then the teacher says, “Who rode thru town warning the people that the British were coming, the British were coming.”  And again, the little black boy raises his hand, “I know, I know.”  The teacher says, “Juan?” and the Hispanic boy replies, “Paulito, Paulito Revere.” 

And the teacher says that is right.


She turns around to write on the black board, and the little black boy from Chicago, slams his book shut and says out loud, “I am outta here, too many damn Mexicans to suite me.”  The teacher spins around and demands loudly, “Who said that.  Who said that?” 


The little black kid quietly replies ….. “Davey Crockett, at the Alamo.”


Come on up!  Door is wide open, all those gut-less bottom feeders in the Bush Malversation Wrecking Machine welcome you with open arms.  Plenty of low paying jobs still available, and employers will relish negotiating you down as low as they can.


We have been thru this period before with tragic results, it was called “Slavery and The Civil War.”  People who do not learn from their mistakes are prone to repeat them, history teaches us that.


Twenty-six million and counting, wait until they give them amnesty.  Then it will be “Guess Who Is Coming To Dinner” and of course, “What Do You Think They Will Be Serving?”


Where all of this heading is anyone’s guess.  Some consideration being given to the cancellation of the Christmas Season in our nations’ capitol. 


It is not a nativity, separation of church and state thing.  No real religious issue.  But rather the seemingly impossible chore of finding one virgin and three wise men in the Washington area in general.  As developments come in, we will keep you apprised.  (And then again, we might not)


There you go, all the news that is fit to print … or causes fits in print. 


If you want to discuss this at length, give me a call at … 1-800-Angry-White-Guy … These days I am usually home.





The New Border Patrol: