Leave My Baby Alone

Again television gives us evidence that it is the sole gate keeper of cultural anemia in this country.  This is news?  O’bammer is upset because he asserts that the press has been picking on his wife. 

He said “these folks should lay off my wife, if they think they are going to try to make Michelle an issue in this campaign, they should be careful because that I find unacceptable.”  

Yawn?

Best get used to it.  Political wives have always been fair game.  Back in the 19th century Andrew Jackson’s wife, Rachel, was pilloried mercilessly, possibly even driven to an early grave, for marrying Old Hickory before her divorce was final.  Eleanor Roosevelt was caricatured as a busybody, Nancy Reagan as a profligate spender, Hillary Clinton as a ruthless shadow president and Teresa Heinz Kerry, Cindy McCain have all come under fire. 

If it is too hot in the kitchen, maybe it is time to get out.  I mean, if you cannot take the heat now, what are you gonna do later on in the White House?

Holy Crap!  The poop-shooter on the space station has gone on the fritz and is not working.  Well actually, the poop side is doing okay, it is the urination side that has shut down.  NASA is gearing up to send up some replacement parts to fix it but state that “weight is a problem” on the next shuttle launch and it all has to be accounted for. I was talking over the backyard fence to my neighbor about it and I asked her, “what would you do?” and she shrugged her shoulders and said, “depends?”

So the good news is … the fix is in the works, the bad news is …. Don’t go outside for a little while.

The news on the Mar’s Lander?  Have you heard?  The radio has shut down and there are no communications between the humans on earth and the machine on the planet or the robotic orbiter circling the planet, telling the Lander what to do. 

Dig rocks.  Find stuff.  Tell us, what is stuff …. Okay, tell us what you think stuff is?  For this we are coughing up billions in federal dollars? 

In another related story.  Nearly 25 years in the making and some $1 billion spent in the process, the space lab Kibo is scheduled for a weekend launch, story is on page six, oh I am sorry, you don’t have a page six. 

Send in your check anyway.  Pay to the order of Mr. George Dubya Bush, NASA, I am pretty sure they will cash it.

Uh, we will skip the resume if that is alright.  A teenager who once said he was “training to become a serial killer” rejected an offer from prosecutors that he plead guilty to reduced charges and serve a 50 year sentence in Florida.  Training to be a serial killer?  I knew the job market in America was bad, but this? 

This is pretty bad.

Researchers have just released data that suggests that long term exposure to lead will lead to criminal activities later on in life.  Some of the information shows that lead has harmful effects on judgment, cognitive function and the ability to regulate behavior.  Now if I remember right, lead is also a major additive in motor fuel, so this might explain the attitude of California Drivers. 

They are after all breathing tons of the stuff in the atmosphere of Southern California and the LA Basin.  This could very well be the major component of Road Rage in America, breathing bad air.

In 1988 there were 554 active oil rigs in the U.S. drilling and locating fossil fuels.  In 1998 that number dropped to 198 and this week, the number of active rigs operating in the country … 297.  This might explain why they are not having a lot of success finding new sources, doesn’t seem like they are looking very hard for it. On the same note, over 300 refinieries, now we are down to 139 and counting.

Meanwhile, the price of gasoline went up another four cents yesterday ….. Bob didn’t show up for work after the weekend … we don’t know where he is.

There you go!  Today’s offering of anodyne observations to amuse or confuse. 

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The Next Big Thang …

I love My Wife!  I am always somewhat amazed by my Cup Cake, she will frequently ask me, “Has anyone offered to pick up your stuff, or any money?” Bless her heart.  She is under the mistaken impression that writing on the Internet or bloggin, whichever one you prefer, will automatically lead to “untold riches, that you will be discovered and people will line up to make you offers on Book Publishing Deals.” More than likely a product of too many afternoons watching Oprah or something, I dunno.

I just smile and say ….. “No, not lately.”  So Friday I took in the front page of the USA Today section and proudly displayed it for her perusal.  “Lookie here baby, they’re looking for me, jus’ like you said!”

The headline was “THE NEXT BIG THING ON THE INTERNET.”

(What will it be?)

She was of course … Not amused.

You win a few, and you lose a few, that is what marriage is all about … You might hit a homer and you might not.  Oh well, some of them mother’s are just destined to burn to the gound.  Speaking of losing propositions, check this one out.

A couple of bozo’s in Colorado robbed a convenience store recently and for masks, “they donned G-String underwear!” Now I can see you sitting there smiling and saying to yourself, “Man this Okie is full of it.” But it is the truth.  Here is the link: USA Today the article and accompanying video is on “Thong Robbers.”

Perhaps “Granny Panties” would have been far more concealing?

Over the past two month, hundreds of thousands of airline passengers were stranded in airports nationwide as more than 3,500 flights were canceled because carriers failed to perform required maintenance.  Now they are charging even more for luggage, this is the worst case of “self inflicted wounds” I have ever seen.

“Good afternoon ladies and gentleman, welcome to our flight to nowhere, if there is a sudden cabin depressurization, oxygen masks will drop from the ceiling.  Please deposit fifteen dollars in the coin slot on the right hand armrest of your seat.  Credit card customers, please have one form of picture I.D, available and wait on the Stewardess.”

At one time, I had considered a career in the aircraft maintinance field, that is, until they started drug testing.  That is how I ended up being a railroader.  The U.S. Navy told me that when I was released from Active Duty, that I could apply my service related skills in the civilian sector.

American Airlines were not hiring any tail gunners at that time, so I went to work for the railroad.

Each day that they are in business in this country, they seem to add new meaning to the words:  Terminal and Final Destination.  Airline travel in this country has reached a point where it is downright deplorable.  When all you have to offer is service and you cannot even provide that, then you are in trouble

One more airplane deal, and I will stop. This past weekend it rained money in Indonesia.  An Indonesian businessman was reported ready to throw 100 million rupiah (about $10,600) out of an airplane over the capital this Sunday as a publicity stunt to promote his new book.  This will prove to be popular in a country that is dirt poor.

“I want to create a rain of money in Jakarta,” author and motivational speaker Tung Desem Waringin said. “It’s a little bit crazy, but it’s marketing.”

This may prove to be a novel approach to publishing.  We have it here, Bush and Co. has been throwing money at us for months now … Trying to get us to buy into the dream.  When it starts raining “gasoline” I will be the first one there with a bucket or a can, you can take that one to the bank.

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