Obamma Spamma

I got this Email yesterday that states, “matter of facilely” that Obammer is the Anti-Christ! I will spare you all the gory details, but here is a quote from it:

According to The Book of Revelation the anti-Christ will be a man, in his 40s, of MUSLIM descent, who will deceive the nations with persuasive language, and have a MASSIVE Christ-like appeal….the prophecy says that people will flock to him and he will promise false hope and world peace, and when he is in power, will destroy everything .”

Maybe it is me, having read the Bible on occasion, I don’t remember any mention of “Muslim” (descent) in there at all … The word Islam cannot be found in the bible and certainly not the word “Anti Christ.”  I don’t think I have seen anything in the book that is in all CAP’S either.

Someone needs to help me out on this one, I must be reading the wrong bible.

Kind of similar to “locking the barn door after the horse has got out.” This guy is already here; he’s in office right now, all of it except that “Muslim” part that is. You figure it out. We will give your three guesses and the first two, don’t even count. If you are a regular reader of this page, then you know how I feel. If you are not, then most likely, as you have astutely gathered I am not a big Obammer fan, but I don’t believe he is getting a fair shake on this one at all.

Now I did some research on it and this is what I found.

Illinoisans (that is one of them there fancy words for people who live outside of Chicago) were less likely to interpret the Bible literally. While 33 percent of all respondents said the Scriptures were the “word of God, literally true word for word,” only 27 percent of those in Illinois agreed.

Illinoisans (those folks who live outside of Chicago) were also more likely to agree that “there is more than one true way to interpret the teachings of my religion” and that “many religions can lead to eternal life.” And while Illinoisans (people who moved there from Dearborn Michigan, after GM shut down) pray as frequently as the rest of the country, they were less likely to report receiving answers to those prayers.

Now that has to be “true” ‘cause I read it on the Internet.

Meanwhile back at the Eastern Ponderosa …. The Senate was expected to approve possibly sometime this week, the biggest government program yet to tackle a deep housing market slump feared to be dragging the economy into recession. The legislation would create a $300 billion fund to help up to 400,000 troubled homeowners refinance costly, exotic mortgages into more affordable, government-backed loans.

It easily cleared a Senate test vote by an 83-9 vote on Tuesday. It was rumored that even Hillary was there for this one, but I am not sure.

“The most significant concern that we have with the bill is that it would provide for $4 billion to states to purchase already foreclosed homes,” Bush administration spokeswoman Dana Perino told reporters. “And our concern is that that just helps the banks, that it doesn’t help the consumers.”

So if you are some poor slob in Omaha, up to your rear in debt with a traditional mortgage and just trying to put some groceries on the table, this isn’t going to help you at all.

It is another perk for the rich. Biz as usual.

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Damn Big Oil …

How can we know,

how far,

the long way can be

Looking from where we are,

it never seemed that long to me

I’ve many miles behind me,

and maybe now,

not so much ahead

Looking back,

it seems I made good time,

even with the directions I miss-read

a Funny thing,

This thing called time,

A thing we are always running out of

A thing we can never seem to find

I am always coming up short

or losing mine

There’s not enough of it about,

and though it’s always here

It always seems to come and go I’ve found out

No gas,

no money,

it is weighing heavy on my mind

I am moving quickly to the bottom line

I still have places I want to see,

I still have hills to climb

No more going quietly into the dark night

Here is my reality

No more drives in the country burning daylight.

It looks like I am flat out running out of time

A hammock on the front porch is all that is left for me.

Locked down and serving my time,

Here on the sound side of my city.

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The Verdict Is In … You Lose Again.

The U.S. Supreme Court just ruled that it’s unconstitutional for Louisiana to impose the death penalty on prisoners who have been convicted of raping children. What is this all about? I guess this is the last domino in the chain to fall; now even children are not held in high regards by the courts in this country.

Which might be why I don’t personally hold judges of any type in high regard either.

Just this week in Los Angeles, California, a porn case was dismissed because the presiding judge was found to have porn on his personal website. Tucked away in a folder, accessible to the public, containing images of masturbation, public sex, and other graphic sexual acts. The judge said that he thought the folder was shielded from public view by a password.

It was …. “Don’t touch my Pee-pee … Vote For Me”

It appears that those “who sit in judgment on us, are basically just as nasty as the rest of us.” Which in some legal circles can be translated to: “I just read it for the articles.” Where is Denny Crane when you really need him?

Washington, D.C. — A report by U.S. intelligence agencies warns about the national security implications of global warming. The report says climate change is likely to increase illegal immigration, create humanitarian disasters and destabilize precarious governments in political hot spots, all of which could affect U.S. national security.

Now it might pay to remember that this report was generated by these very same people that said that there were WMD’s in Iraq. Those people who I now understand are now working as 7-11 clerks deep in Southern Texas.

Today Oil reached a peak of $5,500 a barrel, and our current president, a three-year old mixed-breed German Shepherd announced that cats will now be allowed to vote …… See how easy it is, anyone can do it.

The United Nations is now saying that “because of U.S. Corn production being converted over to Ethanol production that we are now responsible for the world food shortage and high food prices.” Not exactly true. Production was shifted in 2007, but it only amounted to 20% of the total corn crop and the U.S. Government paid out subsidies to farmers in the amount of some $3 billion dollars.

If you took every morsel, every kernel, each and every ear of corn produced in this country and devoted it specifically to ethanol production it would only meet 11% of the energy needs of this country. I am getting tired of everyone taking a cheap shot at this country.

America is like a big dog in a small room, every time the dog turns around, it is knocking over a table or some piece of furniture. We are dammed if we do and dammed if we don’t.

And when we do help out, those countries on the receiving end walk on the tab, no one ever pays us back, no one ever has a nice thing to say about us. When some inventive American comes up with a genuine plan or scientific process to distillate gasoline from weeds, we will be attacked for pulling all the weeds in the world.

There is so much good in the worst of us

And so much bad in the best of us

That it hardly becomes any of us

To talk about the rest of us

The United Nations ought to go back to minding its own business, which is essentially, doing nothing.

And the beat goes on …

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A Shocking Development

Hey! Creative Endeavors was listed as the Featured Blog on 6-27-08 at WordPress.com. Wow, how about that, this was a pleasant surprise.

A Grand Junction man was behind bars Wednesday on suspicion of attempting to coerce his girlfriend into having sex by threatening to zap her with a stun gun. Christopher Morgen Taylor, 30, turned on a Taser three times early Tuesday morning after his girlfriend refused to have sex with him, according to an arrest affidavit for Taylor.

When you are 30, you are sometimes what we call “young and stupid.” It should be our duty to inform this poor misguided soul that … You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar; anyone with half a brain knows that.

Taylor‘s girlfriend told police that Taylor turned the Taser on and said to her, “I don’t normally do this to anybody, but …” His girlfriend said she told Taylor to turn off the Taser because it was “freaking her out,” and she uttered a profanity and left the room, the affidavit said. She told police she was scared her boyfriend was going to use the device on her.

Officers with the Grand Junction Police Department located a stun gun on Taylor‘s bedroom nightstand after Taylor gave officers permission to search the house, the affidavit said. Taylor was in custody at Mesa County Jail on a $60,000 bond, on suspicion of first-degree sexual assault and unlawful use of a stun gun, and I suppose anger management classes are next.

He sure isn’t going to “get lucky” anytime soon, using this approach. Absolutely shocking the things men will do for a little uh … Naw, … Best I leave this one alone for sure. The PC word police will be all over me, if I go any further with this one.

Never lay an angry hand on a woman or a kid, it just aint helpful.

O.J. Simpson says he’s being victimized by an ambitious Nevada prosecutor pressing an armed robbery case that even the alleged victims don’t want to pursue. Simpson let loose this week in comments to a Fargo, N.D., radio station KFGO. He says he faces trial in Las Vegas on Sept. 8 because of who he is. Simpson says he’s got a dollar sign on his back and a bull’s eye on his front and everybody’s trying to benefit from him.

Lock N Load!

The newest version of the Associated Press Stylebook is available, and if you follow it, “WMD,” “iPhone” and “anti-virus” are in, while “barmaid,” “blue blood” and “malarkey” are out. Those are just some of the changes to its rules for certain often-used phrases and words. There are also new acceptable forms of describing the Sept. 11 attacks, and a different rule for use for “African-American.” I wonder why “all of a sudden” the mainstream press is concerned about items like this, never was an issue before.

America’s favorite Bull Dawger is down in the mount. He reports he has a little hitch in his giddy-yup. Hugh Hefner says he suffers from back problems because he spends too much time in bed “rustling around with friends”. The 82-year-old Playboy tycoon – who lives with three girlfriends at the infamous Playboy mansion in Los Angeles – is renowned for his womanizing ways, but says his bedroom activities have caused him health problems.

He told FoxNews.com: “I have some aches and pains and I have had lower back problems since the 80s. Too much time in bed rustling around with friends! I was raised in a very typical Midwestern Methodist home with a lot of repression. There weren’t a lot of hugs and kisses in my home, and I charted my own course.”

Kind of reminds me of my own childhood. I charted a lot of unfamiliar waters in my youth, and went down to the Bay to wait for my ship to come in.

Unfortunately all the piers rotted out before it happened.

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Related: Shock N Awe

Liberal Tree Huggers

Now the Obammer Camp says that they are packing it in on the “Not So Official Seal,” which seems to be the talk of the town here lately. The seal, with its blue background and an eagle in the center clutching arrows and an olive branch, evoked the official presidential version, but had been altered with a new Latin phrase.

Instead of the original “E pluribus unum,” which means, “Out of many, one.” Obama’s campaign changed the phrase to “Vero possumus,” which can be roughly translated to his “Yes, we can” slogan.

Now here at Creative Endeavors we are mainly into English, not all this other uppity crap, but we will give it a shot. Illegitimi non carborundum (Don’t let the bastards grind you down).

Doesn’t anyone in this country speak English anymore?

Mixed in all this garbage I keep hearing the words “Liberal and Tree Hugger” tossed about in a disparaging manner, and personally, I am getting tired of it. If it were not for liberals we might still be mired in a far away place called Viet Nam, and a host of other benefits, created by free thinking individuals.

As I reside in a state that has been raped, polluted, and ravaged by Big Oil, I can attest to their callous disregard for the country and the land. In our state, we have a company, the Oklahoma Energy Resources Board (I believe that is the name of it). This company has one job, it has only one main reason for existing, and that mission is to go out and clean up abandoned well sites and old oil facilities that the oil companies walked away from in years past.

We need Tree Huggers, and I am kind of glad they are around myself.

Pitcher Oklahoma is one of the largest major Super Fund Clean Up Sites in America, it wasn’t big oil there, it was mining companies who pillaged the area and turned it basically into a lethal cesspool of just about every chemical known to man.

Let’s face it, If it were not for all these radical liberals and tree huggers, there wouldn’t be a green tree or flower within fifty miles of this place.

Right now scientists are studying a “dead zone” in the Gulf Of Mexico that is huge, all caused by man made pollution flowing down the Mississippi River. Can you imagine what type of lethal witches’ brew of chemicals, fertilizers, animal waste, gas, oil that is floating downriver right now headed for the Gulf Of Mexico because of the recent flooding in the Midwest.

This summer swing by West Virginia, Tennessee, some parts of Kentucky and observe how the coal companies have taken off the tops of entire mountains to get to the coal underneath.  Look at the dead creeks polluted with coal slurry from ponds that were not maintained.

Stop and consider the ramifications of the recent floods in the midwest.  How many years is it going to take to get the soil back to being even half-way productive in the Corn Belt of America after this recent flooding.  It boggles the mind.

Personally I am glad we have Tree Huggers, I am not a liberal in any way shape, form or manner, but I still believe they are somewhat necessary.  We have a lot of good things brought to us by the actions of Liberal’s .

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Weed Eaters

Here we go!  Another feeble attempt to make some NEW friends!

Ah, summertime, that time of the year, when everything blooms, it grows, spreads out, a time of plenty, and weed-whackers! This has to be a tool invented by Satan himself; this is the worst tool in my backyard warriors’ arsenal and the most irritating and frustrating invention known to man.

What do you get if you take the DNA and Stem Cells of a billy goat, and mix them with those of a Politician?

You get a weed-eater that will not work!

Been meaning to say something about this all week, just got jammed up and didn’t get around to it.  For all you A-Political types that simply cannot get enough of this garbage, here is the latest. Obammer has his own seal now.

This guy is not only building castles in the sky, he is living in them.

This new seal is very similar to the seal that Shorty uses when he gets in front of the podium to illustrate to the American people that even a door-stop can talk. (IE; “You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror.”—Interview with CBS News, Washington D.C., Sept. 6, 2006)

As for “replicated presidential seals” the general rule seems to be this. If you can’t make it good, make it big. And if you can’t make it big, make it blue. And if you cannot make it big and blue, just make it bigger than Bush’s which by the way, is the real deal, not this phony crap. (this has to be the absolute stoopidest thing I have heard of or seen this year)

This makes me like him even less …. You can draw your own conclusions here.  I now understand, having realized that this might have not been a “smooth move” on their part, they are no longer using this bogus seal and it has been put away.  Another skeleton for the political closet.

With the recent announcement that the air in Okie City is no longer fit to breathe, I have come up with a novel solution to the problem. It came to me the other day while sucking on a Big Slurpy at 7-11 and an apparent Brain Freeze. We can make our own oxygen. Why not, it is now possible to make your own ethanol, why not air?

Why go to the country for fresh air when you can get it at home. Like a cross between a space suit and an indoor garden, the greenhouse helmet fits securely over a persons entire head and at the same time, allowing enough space, to have a small potted plant inside with you.

We could give it some kind of catchy phrase like “The Okie Transparent Dome” or something like that. It would collect the carbon dioxide exhaled by it’s user; the plant inside (right off you left ear) would then convert this to oxygen, which is what all plants do. Now before you try this, I have found out conclusively that it doesn’t produce enough oxygen to support life, so don’t try this at home with a plastic bag or a fishbowl with a plant. It still needs a little bit of tweaking at this time.

A Miami-Dade County man has been charged with practicing medicine illegally at parties where women take shots of silicone to make their butts bigger.

The Florida Department of Health announced the arrest Thursday of Anthony Donnell Solomon for the unlicensed practice of a health care profession. Investigators said they learned Solomon was providing cosmetic procedures for women at so-called “pumping parties” in May.

Authorities set up a fake party at a hotel and arranged for Solomon to attend. Investigators said he was arrested after he agreed to inject an undercover detective. It was not clear if he had an attorney.

Why try and improve on a perfect image anyway, a lot of things in life, stand on their own.

Now in Oklahoma we do it a lot differently, you just go to your favorite rib joint and order the special. We just let nature do it naturally around here. As I am once again, borderline PC on this, one more thing and we will move on.

When your wife looks at you and says, “Honey, do you think these pants make my butt look big?” the correct answer is “NO.”  Do not under any circumstances reply with, “Oh baby, I just luv your fat thighs.” That will get you Tuna Fish sandwiches and nothing more for supper for at least three days.

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RELATED: Tuna Fish

Things Are Pretty Good … No Really.

The wind is out of the south, like a blast furnace has suddenly fired up on the north side of Dallas and it has all blown an ill wind to my side of town.Hot here, and it is heating up as summer approaches. It was so hot here today, I saw a dog chasing a cat, and they both were walking.

Which just reminded me, only a few days and it will be July.The wheat is in, time to kick back, a holiday.Watermelon, potato salad, fried dead cluckers, and the Fourth of July, an American tradition.

Unfortunately it also brings another year of Oklahoma idiot news reports of dumb-bells blowing up tomato’s and assorted large items of fruit to point out the dangers of fireworks.Mini-documentary Videos of Okies buying the stuff, and then having the Oklahoma City Fire Marshall confiscate it when they cross the county line, happens every year.So you tell me, has there ever been documented proof of anyone “actually eating a sparkler?”

Give me a break.

A 21 year old tanning salon operator in Connecticut has been arrested and given two years probation for taking photo’s of teenagers in a tanning salon thru a ceiling tile in the roof.He did this with a cellphone (reach out, reach out, and bug somebody!), he told the judge that he was up there crawling in the overhead, using his cellphone as a light, to inspect wiring.(Yeah I know, and they walk amongst us, and they also procreate.)

Checking the wiring?Uh huh, sure.That is like, “in case of a water landing, your seat cushion will become a floatation device.”I believed that one too.

In case you’re interested, there is a way where you can figure out if you are living next to one of these perverts.You just go to Felonspy.com . After you type in your address, it pinpoints all the people close to your home that have been convicted of ANY felonies. Then you just click on the red pins/balloons on the map and it gives you the offenders name, age, and felony offense.

And don’t go typing my address in there that is not funny, and yes, the “pictures at the Post Office” have come down.

Trucking companies in Arizona are saying that thieves are stealing diesel fuel out of the trucks while the drivers are sleeping with “high volume pump devices.”This was formerly known as a garden hose back in the old days, now as we are in the 21st Century this has been changed to “high volume devices.”Here is a novel idea, buy some locking gas caps.Yawn.

My Daddy used to say on the annual trek back to Oklahoma in the 50’s and 60’s.He said he could always tell when he was getting close to Oklahoma.The wife would get bitchy, the kids started fighting in the car, and he had the urge to siphon some gas.

Back in the good ol’ days, eh?

The news tonight was the same old crap … 81.5% of the people you ask will tell you “We are on the wrong track, and things is bad man, really bad.”The public mood in this country is like a carton of eight day old milk left out on the kitchen counter, kind of sour right now.With the high price of gasoline, this debacle in Afghanistn and Pakistan, people are not all that upbeat.I believe the exact quote I heard last was something about “going to hell in a hand-basket?”

Unemployment isn’t all that bad, 5.5% that isn’t terrible, not good, but not terrible.Living standards from a historical viewpoint are the best they have been in recent years, things are, believe it or not, pretty good.But when you turn on the television, “the sky is falling … the sky is falling” and the mood is mostly somber.  I have been kind of concerned about it myself.(Some guy just the other day sent me an email that said, I sure wish you would stop whining about all this ______ .)

It occured to me, “if the news ever gets brighter, we are going to be in trouble.”  There is truly going to be a void in America (one of these days).Who am I going to blame for Global Warming, then there is the terrorism thing (that mostly did not happen but it could, any time now, according to the government), instability in the oil producing countries, oops, excuse me, “the middle east.”This invasion thing, supporting Israel, and/or pillaging the resources of the planet on an untold scale.

What I am going to do, if the news does a turn around, and everything is all of a sudden …. good?  Where will be my simplistic worldview of things then?

Luckily for me, my very own Charlie Sheen star is on the horizon and it is shining down on me.

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