The Old Blame Game

My favorite guy was on television today explaining the “slow down” for me. Nothing new, I know how to play that game Dubya … Here is one for you …. “Almost Pregnant.” One popular television jingle for tourism down south is “Texas, it’s like a whole nother country, Ya’ll” and now we realize why.

I had it all wrong evidently. Now I will be able to tell all those Con Edison folks in New York, that are 45 days behind on their electric bills, that everything is just swell. I don’t know what your problem might be.

Con Edison is currently turning off 600-650 accounts each month because of non-payment, 3,500 GM workers went to the house yesterday as GM shut down five plants that build pickups and SUV’s. It is about $6,000 to fill up a Lear Jet with fuel these days ($5.21 per gallon).

I suppose Kellog’s in Battle Creek Michigan will be changing Tony The Tiger’s ….. They’re Great! … To a new slogan …. Sure Is Slow Nowadays huh?

The U.S. economy lost 80,000 jobs in the month of March and the numbers are expected to get worse according to those “outside the White House.” Some economists predict that as many as 2 million people could lose their jobs by early next year, when the jobless rate is expected to peak at about 6 percent. Show me the rainbow in that.

The credit card folks have come up with a new wrinkle, the government didn’t bail them out, so they are raising the interest on selected cards. Discover I understand is going to 31% and some cards, across the board, 100% increase. All of the sudden the tree house in Costa Rica is looking better and better, as long as the current price for banana’s holds up, check with me tomorrow.

People in Hood River Oregon might have the answer? Some people there are interested in making Eastern Oregon its own state. Citizens feel they don’t get their fare share from the state government. If a complicated and lengthy process of separation ever played out, the new state line would stretch from east to the Cascade Mountains to the Idaho Border.

The state of Missouri has issued millions of new license plates containing a grammatical error, but officials say they won’t be correcting it. The new plates proclaim Missouri the “Show Me State.” Since this nickname contains a compound modifier before a noun it should read “Show-Me State.” A Missouri spokesman says the design and wording on the new plate was approved by motorists in an online poll.

“If the people want it that way,” he said, “that’s what we’re going to deliver to the people.”

Hot on the heels of his explanation for why he no longer wears a flag pin, presidential candidate Senator Barack Obama was forced to explain why he doesn’ follow protocol when the National Anthem is played.

According to the United States Code, Title 36, Chapter 10, Sec. 171. During rendition of the national anthem when the flag is displayed, all present except those in uniform are expected to stand at attention facing the flag with the right hand over the heart.

Obamma has reportedly quoted as saying, “As I’ve said about the flag pin, I don’t want to be perceived as taking sides,” Obama then said. “There are a lot of people in the world to whom the American flag is a symbol of oppression. And the anthem itself conveys a war-like message. You know, the bombs bursting in air and all. It should be swapped for something less parochial and less bellicose. I like the song … ‘I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing.’ If that were our anthem, then I might salute it.”

Are you kidding me? I don’t know what he and his preacher are smoking, but I would like a bag of it for the weekend.

Perhaps it is time to throw in the towel … If these two are the best we have. Pull the stars and stripes down the pole, turn it upside down, and fly it in that manner. (International Sign for Distress) Everything else seems to be unraveling around here.

After watching this debacle on all the channels this day, it is apparent that the only people who know how to run this country are those driving the cabs or cutting hair. The rest of us appear to have a bright future in delivering pizza’s to each other, not withstanding, very slowly.

The Democrats claim they got the gas, and the Republicans are hitting the brakes, the rest of us are just bumps in the road I guess. The only possible relief we may get from all of this is for Quail Season to come early this year, and hope Dick Cheney takes Dubya with him.

I’ll vote for that.