One thing that is nice about Internet banking is that you can sit at home, in the comfort of your office, and when there is nothing on television, while away your time watching your money disappear. The new entertainment of the 21st Century.
Looking in here this morning, and I notice that my I.R.S. stipend has arrived safely back home from Fresno, California, and is nestled in there with the rest of my obligations and ready for processing. Last night the circus was back in town, as all the local affiliates lined up to interview the terminally procrastinated tax payer. As usual, we have the assortment of rookie news journalists camped out at the main post office trying to interview all these fiscal invertebrates who wait until the absolute last second to file.
Like this is some kind of news scoop or something, same old garbage year after year, on April 15th.
Taxes in the USA are a bargain believe it or not. Compare your federal tax rate to that of Israel, where the well-off pay 70 percent of their income in taxes. Germany where a 50 percent bite is the norm. Sure I’d prefer that my tax dollars helped some underpaid school teacher, inter-city youth, rather than some Agri-business cotton farmer in the Mississippi Delta region. But that is not logical, that would be practical, and practical isn’t cool anymore.
Ask any lobbyist, they will straighten you out. So there it is, we have the best system of government money can buy. I said it and I feel better for doin’ it.
Hard to understand why an Okie is sending his “contribution” to Fresno anyway. Seems like Austin Texas, was a much closer and more reasonable place to send it. As usual, I have more month than money and I am going to have to watch it. I hate that. But then again, I don’t suppose I am the “only American” with this problem, I don’t have the Lone Ranger Syndrome on that one.
We could all move to Zimbabwe which has an inflation rate of more than 10,000 percent! They announced this week that they are going to start printing a “1,000,000” bill in their currency. So if you want to be an instant millionaire, I suppose Zimbabwe is the place to be. Unfortunately, a sandwich is gonna cost about $75,000 and we don’t even want to consider a glass of sweet tea.
My mailbox is once again, full of Obamma, Hillary, and McCranky this morning too. Most of them get deep-sixed as I am sick of it. An Okie farm boy knows that “If you wrestle or dance with a pig, it is a total waste of time, you and the pig get dirty, and the pig likes it!” Now I do have something that put a smile on my tired ol raggedy face. Who needs a presidential library, when you can have this!
This week a San Francisco community group launched an initiative to rename the Oceanside Wastewater Treatment Facility the “George W. Bush Sewage Plant.” Organizers said the name would provide the president with an “appropriate and enduring legacy.” Our unflappable Non-Resident Texan said this week, “I think it would be a fantastic experience to be on the front lines of helping this young democracy succeed. It must be exciting for you … in some ways romantic, in some ways, you know, confronting danger.” This in a speech to military personnel in Afghanistan.
And we wonder why they want to name a sewage treatment facility in his honor? Meanwhile back in the good ol’ USA … “Only a fool or a fraud sentimentalizes the merciless reality of war” John McCain in the Los Angeles World Affairs council at the same time. Learned a new word yesterday. “Schlemiel.” An unlucky bungler: Chump.
Sign Of The Times: The Absolut vodka company has apologized for an ad campaign that showed the southwestern United States as a part of Mexico. The ad, used only in Mexico, shows a map of the Americas prior to the war of 1848, with California and the Southwest as part of Mexico. Believe it or not, it didn’t upset anyone other than a large group of U.S. Bloggers (of all people), after numerous public outcries, Absolut changed the ad.
Did you know that 60% of Mexico’s population is under 30 years of age, and in the USA that number is 42%. They are catching up with us too. Their national divorce rate is now up to a whopping 12%, soon they will be just like us, except we won’t be speaking the same language. (Yeah I know, give it up)
Married couples in America maintain a clear and traditional division of labor. In 57% of households, men say the take responsibility for the yardwork, compared with only 12% of the women. In 68% of the households, women say they take care of the laundry, compared to 10% of the men. In 69% of households, it is the men who keep the car in good working condition, it is the ladies who clean the house. 61% of the women make decisions about furniture and home décor.
And lastly ….. A FULL 100% OF THE TIME I AM THE KING OF MY CASTLE!
(I have my wife’s’ permission to say that 25% of the time).
So that are it for Wednesday, April 16, 2008, a full 81% of you out there think the country is heading in the wrong direction according to NBC and my next door neighbor’s borrowed newspaper … The other 19% seem to think that everything is just going fine … That would be the Oil Executives I assume.
(Tomorrow we will talk about the end of the world, the Sky Is Falling! Don’t tell Al Gore, we want it to be a surprise)