Intrusion Update

Wow! I just had my “intrusion signatures updated” and I didn’t feel a thing! A little window just popped up in the middle of my screen and told me that. What in the world is an “intrusion signature?”

You know sometimes, no, often, I am a tad bit suspicious about what this thing is doing in the background. I may be losing my dad-gum house or something and didn’t even know it.

Pop! We know you stole that bag of M& M’s from the liquor store in ‘57 ………. Fess up now!

A friend of mine recently called me up and said that he was having a get together at his house some 67 miles away. Cup Cake and I are thinking about going, we are looking around for a good wrecker and towing service. We figure it would be cheaper to have the truck towed to the event, than try and drive it down there.

Face it.

We are all going to have to change our way of life, learn how to live on less, and it isn’t going to be pretty in the end I am afraid. Unless you win the lottery and have pockets full of cash, you are going to have to do without. We all cannot be like the late Dennis Weaver who built a house that was totally energy efficient.

A drop-dead beautiful house built on the Western Slope of the Rockies, an underground marvel built out of discarded beer cans, glass bottles, old car tires and actually sold power back to the grid at the end of the month. Unfortunately, most of us do not have the resources to do this.

Our collective lives are on the threshold of great change, get ready. Because of the scarcity of these items we used to consider unlimited, we are going to be forced to do things differently in the future, much differently.

Just think how much weight you would lose, if you had to pedal a bike for a hour, to generate enough power to watch 45 minutes of Oprah or Dr. Phil? I for one, would certainly be more inclined to read more (during the daylight hours) to avoid the bike routine. It most certainly would influence what I watched and how much of it I wanted to see.

I can just see some guy in his living room, mouth full of Cheeto’s, beer can in one hand, pedaling like crazy, rivulets of sweat running down his puffy red cheeks and screaming at the television loudly …… “Screw the replays! …. Get on with the game!”

Now here is the rub.

How does a small country, Iceland, run ALL of its cars, trucks, and buses on Hydrogen Fuel. But in this country we are told that this technology is at least 20 years away? Could it be, because Hydrogen, one of the most plentiful resources on the planet, is made from water. It is true, check it out. Run that one up the flagpole and see if you can find some oilman or government anybody willing to salute it. Last I heard, there wasn’t a lot of PROFIT in water. I wonder, has anyone told Al Gore about this?

The rest of you, cheer up! Its so hard for me to see the bright side of the world any more, with so many bad spots in it, if it was an Apple we would more than likely throw it away. Perhaps now is the time to sell it all off, lock stock & barrel, move to Honduras and build that tree house in the jungle and pull the plug on all this.

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Read My Lips

Just returned from the CPA (which I believe stands for Cough-Up Pretty-Much-All of it) and he says that I owe the fed’s some money (big surprise huh) and that the state owes me, so it is Peter pays Paul this year. (Not to be confused with the sixties folk singer bunch that used to play at the Hungry Eye in the Tenderloin District of San Francisco)

I used the short form this year. I said, “Stick to me, I don’t have no receipts!”

We are getting a modest refund and paying out of one account, into another. God Bless the I.R.S. So it appears that we will have heat and light this month, which is a good deal, I hate trying to read by flashlight.

Bought a new album, George Straight, on the Troubadour CD .. Title cut is “I Saw God Today”. Lifts me up, makes my heart soar. Not bad if you are a twanger. One definition of the word “Troubadour” is a person who walks around a restaurant singing. I tried that once at Denny’s at about three in the morning, they asked me to leave. I guess they are not music lovers, or it could have been the getting up on the tables, I forget.

Now I just sing in the shower … Opera mainly …. I NEED A HAIRCUT! I NEED A HAIRCUT! I NEED A HAIRCUT! But I am only allowed to do it when Cup Cake is at the Super-Center buying groceries.

Came across some little 19 year old girl on the net this morning, she said, I am not making this up people …. She said that “she had dropped three pairs of underwear into the toilet over the weekend, and she was now wearing one pair of them.”

And I thought to myself … why?

Why would anyone (in their right mind) post something like that? Incredible. For a split second there I thought about answering her with …. “Hi there, my name is Bubba, I am a alligator farmer in Shreveport, Louisiana and I read yo’ post. I am wearing my underwear inside out, as I had previously worn them for three days without changing and wanted to wear something different the rest of the week. I feel muchly more fresher today.”

But I stopped short of posting it (I could not remember a suitable screen name at the time). Most of the time, when I come in the front door and the dog immediately sticks her nose in my crotch, I know it is time for me to get a fresh pair underwear! (Oh, stop it! You’re killin’ me Don.) I wrote a post on it last month, buying new underwear, think I posted it … Somewhere.

Best Email of the week: “My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. We’ve discovered that when I am in a good mood, it turns green. When I am in a bad mood, it leaves a big frickin red mark on his forehead! Dumb butt.”

Now a woman like that usually doesn’t have a nickname like Cup Cake. You might be able to find her behind the cash register at the local Truckstop or working in the tire changing facility. She be the rather attractive lady with an arm full of tattoo’s smoking a cigar, can of Skoal in her right rear pocket of her over-alls. Lo-Retta sounds like a good name to me ….. Hey, Lo-Retta, you got any lug-nuts?

Someone also put up a post that said, “I see you are still writing. I hope you keep it up?”
Which I thought was kind of a suggestive thing to say of a man of my age and physical attributes … But this is a clean site, so we will now move on. I need to get outta here, I hear the word counter police hammering on my door again. They are coming to take me away!

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