BAD NEWS: The Bush administration announced today that they are NOT going to hand out radiation, fighting thyroid pills to all you lucky people that are living downwind or somewhere near a nuclear plant (10-20 mile radius). A little known law passed about five years ago because of terrorist threats, mandates that the pills be distributed unless the government doesn’t deem it necessary.
If you happen to live down wind from one of these oil producing, or nuke electric plants and you start dreaming about stuff like: Encounters with drunken judges, passive-aggressive meter readers in your backyard, semi-repressed cat people, and co-dependent enablers in your neighborhood.
Don’t worry …… that is perfectly normal, I do it all the time.
Now conversely, if your next door neighbor, who happens to be a recently divorced, Air Force B-1 bomber pilot starts speaking loudly to himself, running madly thru the yard with his weed-whacker in his Michael Jordan underwear and acting in a particular manner.
If the people across the street start glowing in the dark, or if all your fruit trees in the backyard suddenly start humming.
If you find yourself in the local Denny’s at three in the morning, sitting next to some stranger who is sitting on a well worn, rumpled, Valentine’s Card, while writing frenetically on white paper napkins.
You could possibly have a problem.
Then I suppose …. Mr. Bush will then give you the pill …. But I wouldn’t count on it. These are the same people who could not deliver a Hurricane victim a bottle of water when he was standing on the roof of his house in New Orleans a few years back.