The miss’us sent me to the SuperCenter today to pick up a bag of chips, a number three washtub bottle of Gatoraide a couple cans of that “Healthy Choice” soup. Which I thoroughly hate, even tho’ I know it is good for me. I am a Denny’s, bowl of soup and a hairball kind of guy, I want and need grease. Give me grease, my Doctor isn’t here.
Aywho, I am standing in the checkout line, where they have all those Tabloid type magazines, those cheap rags with the enticing incredible headlines. Six year old girl has baby, aliens discovered in Brazil posing as Nazi’s, San Jose California announces that they have weapons of mass destruction and warns Oakland to back off!
Stuff like that.
There it is: “Chilean man surprises attendee’s at his funeral by returning to life.”
Now I am thinking, “Hey, this is BIG NEWS” so like the sucker I am, I reach deep down in my pockets and I cough it up, pay for it, take it home to read. Turns out that this guy at his wake, is sitting up and demanding a glass of water from those in attendance. I don’t know about you, but THAT would get my attention.
Relatives had found Feliberto Carrasco, 81, on the floor of his house, so cold and apparently lifeless that they called for a funeral director rather than a funeral doctor. After friends and relations had gathered to toast his memory, Ol Carrasco regained consciousness. “I could not believe it. I thought I must be mistaken and I shut my eyes” said Carrasco’s nephew Pedro. “When I opened my eyes again, my uncle was looking at me.”
Must be a common occurrence in that part of the world. I once read of a woman in Boliva that had virtually the same experience. She had fell over, everyone thought she was dead, so the husband had his wife put in a pine box and they took her to the cemetery.
As they took her up the long winding, narrow path to the cemetery, the six pall bearers came to a gate, going thru the gate one of the men stumbled, they dropped the pine box, and the woman came tumbling out! Thoroughly offended and very, very angry, she took the husband by the ear and cussed him out all the way down the hill.
She lived another six months after that, and there wasn’t a day this poor sucker did not pay for his past discretion. Then pow! She again drops to the kitchen floor.
He once more, has her boxed up and they take her up the hill to the cemetery. At the gate, the husband turns around, looks at all the pallbearers and says …….. “Now steady men!”
It has to be true ……. I mean I read it in the tabloids.