Check Please


Park Bench

Hardly a day goes by when I don’t think about quitting this Internet business. Hanging it up. Taking my proverbial bat and ball and going home. In my imagination, the day after I quit is a wonderful, relaxing, joyful experience.

I reconnect with old friends, walk on the beach, read, listen to music, play guitar, play golf, eat leisurely meals off of real plates, exercise, meditate, maybe go see a matinee, or take a stab at writing a few pages of a self-indulgent nature and then, after taking the dog for a walk, climb into bed and fall into a peaceful, stress-free sleep. 

The day after that, bored out of my mind, I start drinking Screwdrivers around the clock and quickly descend into a dark, frothing madness that leads to either being institutionalized or posting something clever and humorous to a bus board, or at worst, acute liver failure and an agonizing, premature death.

The thing is with writing is that sometimes you have no control over what you write. It’s like being drunk I guess. You do it and then have no memory of it later. You don’t know what you were feeling at the time and you don’t know why you wrote it. Looking back, it doesn’t even make sense but you know there was a lot of pain.

The really scary part? 

There’s hardly a day goes by when I don’t think about quitting this Internet business.

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Just Type Amen

If you agree just type in “go away you ignorant prick and find a life.”  Where are these Internet Ninny’s finding all this crap?  Look at this picture posted below and tell me if you see Merell Streep.

                                        Thought so.

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Don’t You Just Love The Rain

Don Ballcap

Friday the 13th, you don’t really believe in that hokey ****?  

In the process of doing the dirty deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached him.  It was an unusual situation, that’s for sure,’ said Officer Taylor.  ‘I walked up to Lawrence and he’s just banging away at this pumpkin.’ Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence.
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Jus Sayin 01-06-17

8srptfrb

It is not easy, sitting here, 24/7 writing all this, five days per week.  No wait a minute, is that right?  531 words just for you, now tell me, “don’tcha feel kinda special.  The PUMP-HOUSE GANG IS NOW LONG GONE, AS AS USUAL, IT WAS ALL ABOUT GRANDMA.

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Don’t ask me why.

images-31-copy

Here we go, get ready, another dose of Early Morning Magic.  Well, it isn’t really magic, just another day, as a matter of fact, “I do this all the time.” 

It has been reputed by some that I cannot live without it, but that is not true.  Things I cannot live without are:  flushing toilets, showers, fresh vegetables, halter tops, Asian-girl-on-girl porn, mediocre bus meets in Pahrump Nevada, and this.  Well this is five or six on the short list of what I cannot live without.

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P.S.A.  01-04-17

old geezer

Things have more or less unraveled around here over the holidays.  I am confined to the home now with some kind of viral infection, pumped up on antibiotics and pain killers (it is not all bad).  When I get more better which should happen some time in the near future, I will be back to this.

Right now I am kinda shut down.

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