Creative Endeavors, The Home of BoxcarOkie.com

January 3, 2013

Girl Of My Dreams

Filed under: Life — ldsrr91 @ 5:29 AM
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You are driving down the road in your car on a wild, stormy night, when you pass-by a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus:

1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
2. An old friend who once saved your life.
3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car?  Think about this before you continue reading.  This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.

You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first. Or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back. However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again.

YOU WON’T BELIEVE THIS …

The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer. He simply answered: “I would give the car keys to my old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams.”

Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations.  Never forget to ‘Think Outside Of The Box.’ … HOWEVER … There is quite possibly ONE MORE answer to this dilemma.

The correct answer is to run the old lady over and put her out of her misery because the Nations new health care won’t pay for her hospital visit anyway, have sex with the ultimate partner of my dreams on the hood of the car, then drive off with the old friend for a few beers.*

Don’tcha just love happy endings?  One more day and it is the weekend!

I can hardly wait.

OOO

November 27, 2012

FIFTY PERCENT OFF

Filed under: Blogging,humor,Life — ldsrr91 @ 4:32 AM
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It was bound to happen, just a matter of time.  My bride walked into the room and unceremoniously announced to no one in particular, “Take me shopping.”  So we loaded up in the old truck and drove the six miles to town.  She wanted to go to Kohl’s a department store in Yukon, Oklahoma.   After parking the truck we walked a short distance to the store, upon entering the store, immediately, she spots a garment (a blouse) hanging on a garment rack.

She walks over to it, feels of it, strokes it, appraises it from every angle, and then looks at me and says, “Whadya think.  Its 50% off.”  I look at it, it is nice, sheer, almost transparent the tag reads, $17.99 marked down from $36.00.  It is kind of blue and green in color, and as I said you can see right thru it, very much MY kind of blouse.

I say to her, “I dunno?” and kind of shrug my shoulders.

We move on, you see I know that I am here to drive the truck, my appraisal or value placed on any item in that store, means nothing.  I am now taken to the pots and pans, the stainless steel items that shine in the artificial sunshine of the store, with their clear lexan tops and bright polish.  We look at several, again, picking up a cookie pan that will produce almost magically 24 cup cakes, she says to me, “What do you think?” as if my input or opinion really mattered.

I again, “shrug my shoulders and silently wish that I had begged off back at the house when asked to volunteer for this mission.”

Things go well for the next ten minutes or so, and I make it all the way thru housewares without incident.  I am now in bath towels and fluffy stuff.  Then I see them.  Flashlights!

All manner of flashlights, on a rack, silver ones, red ones, blue Flashlights.  They are everywhere, so somewhat like a drunken sailor I saunter over to them and I feel them.  I admire them.  They have little buttons on them and the sign says …. “Try me.”

I look up and all of a sudden, she is nowhere to be seen, I am alone, just me and the Flashlights.

The Christmas muzak blares from the overhead speakers and I am magically transported to another time and another place.  Having left my cellphone home on the counter, there is no way I can locate her, and I am certainly not going to go on a search and rescue mission in a department store.

Slowly I gravitate towards the front of the store, the main entrance, and assume a position at the perfume counter.  Shifting one side of my body weight to the left shoe, I assume my position, by leaning back slowly into the counter and I check my watch.

The edge of the counter top starts to dig into my back, I shift my weight but another time, and I wonder how long it will be before I hook up with my little parsimonious shopper.

My mind slowly wanders off … Little beads of sweat form on my forehead and they roll down my cheeks and drop onto the Army Green container on the floor.  I take my trusty pocket tool, the red one, with the toothpick inside, and gingerly start to loosen one screw on the case, it breaks loose slowly and I feel it give way.  The red LED clock slowly clicks downward a second at a time.  I must get the access door off, and find a way to the inner core, to the explosive element that ignites the nuclear mass of the bomb itself or the weapon will explode, and all of mankind for five square miles will be toast.  The door slowly prys open with final screw and the main access panel is there, with all the wiring intact, which I by-pass and instead, go for the igniter of the weapon itself.  The Red LED clock is now getting insanely close to running out, and I am frantic.

I silently wish that I had a flashlight and curse under my breath ….

Then her voices breaks the silence, “Here you are.  Are you ready?”  I nod my head and she says, “I didn’t find nuthin’ you want to go get some Mexican food?”  Like a blind man, she takes my arm and starts to lead me toward the exit of the store.  “You didn’t find anything you liked either?”

Again, “I nod my head” and we start out for the front doors.

She again stops at the garment rack, and fingers the blouse, I can tell she really wants the blouse.  She pauses a little bit and then says.  “Let’s go.”  I say “Wait here and I will go get the truck, you won’t have to walk in the cold.”  On the way out to the parking lot the north wind takes a sharp bite out of the corner of my eye, and sends a shiver up my spine.  I get in the truck and I think to myself, “She never gets it?”

 

You see I might be sixty-five years old, but my LIbido is still very much in place.  I am a man, very much so, and thus, I am stimulated not by emotional things, but by visual items.  All she had to do was look at me with those big brown eyes, eyes a guy could get lost in, smile and say, “If you buy me this, I will model it for you without my bra.”

I would have bought it in a Hong Kong second …. Fifty-percent off or not.

OOO

November 12, 2012

Pissin On Oklahoma

Filed under: Blogging,Life,Oklahoma,politics — ldsrr91 @ 6:58 AM
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This post 1,401 and last Friday we went over 1,250,000 views.  Thanks gang, we could not have done it without you.

Every now and then I come onto the Internet and I run across something quite by accident that makes me really wish that I lived somewhere else.  Such is the case this weekend, some dumb cop in Piedmont, Oklahoma, wrote a ticket to a toddler’s mother for the kid urinating in their front yard.

Piedmont, Oklahoma, is a little bedroom community of Oklahoma City just north of the city out on the prairie.  Its most noted distinction is every now and then God comes thru there and wipes the slate clean with a tornado or two.

When you read stuff like this, it all kind of makes sense.

The child, who is three by the way, was observed by a police officer urinating in the front yard.  So he drives over, demands ID (from the mother, I suppose, I understand the kid was not responding) and then writes her a $2,500.00 ticket!

Incredible.

Meanwhile crackheads, child molesters, rapists, car jackers and what have you, walk the streets with impunity.  Welcome to Piedmont, Oklahoma, please set your watch back fifty years.

Over the weekend I made a trip to town and I noticed this sign.  Kind of made me wonder what is going on and all?  Not totally out of the game, I do realize that the country is changing and all that.  We now have people who were not even born here, serving in Congress, and they are being sworn in without the Bible (this in a country who prints In God We Trust on their currency) and other foreign texts.  I also noted that Burger King is now selling the “Angry Whopper.”

It wasn’t all that long ago, they were running commercials that stated “that you could have it your way at Burger King.”  Now it flat out says something different.  “I would like a Angry-What-A-Burger and I want it my way.”

The little cheeky thing working behind the counter, looks you right in the eye and then replies ….. “NO!”

Perhaps that is the Angry Whopper?

Saw a deal on the news this weekend and it was showing statistic’s on the recent elections.  In one instance, well actually it was three instances of a dead man winning the seat that he was running for.  Can you imagine the embarrassment of a Wanna-be Congressman, running for office against a dead man and then losing?  Man that has to suck.

The same newscast pointed out that out of 24 possible candidates, something like 22 of them were returning to Washington, DC having successfully ran campaigns to get re-elected.

Kind of vindicates me, I have been saying for years, that they (the voters) always send the same tired bunch of clowns back up there instead of putting in some new blood.

But all is not lost, the girls are doing better.

We now have a lot more lesbians, immigrants, even a Harvard Law Professor sprinkled in here and there.  Lot of new female ladies in this latest batch of political hopefuls.  (And I use that word loosely)

Might as well give The Sisters a shot at it, they cannot do it any worse than the men did, which we all know was really ______ up.

(Insert expletive of your choice here)

OOO

Sisters Doin It for themselves.

October 23, 2012

You Win Some And You … Well, Y’know.

“I am so happy.  Finally caught a break and did something right for a change, that is a good thang.”

Bought some gasoline for my old truck today, it cost me $57.11 to fill it up, which is a lot of money to most people.  In Egypt they are paying .16 cents per liter, this translates to about .65 cents per gallon U.S..  Every day in this country, huge tankers, filled to the gills with this product are leaving the country and we are paying $3 per gallon?

Something just isn’t right.

Things are not good here in River City, the resident Mayor of BoogerTown lost eight stories that he had written for the website over the weekend.  I inadvertently moved them to the trash along with some old photo’s, did not notice this and then emptied the trash.  Man, that is so disappointing, all of them spell checked, formatted and ready to go and it all went south.

Now it appears that I will have to go back to working for a living.  Computer errors are so unforgiving and at the same time, they often gut you like a fish.  I had over a period of time, worked each one of these, and had them all ready to go, now they are in hard-drive heaven.

Received a new remote for the Dish Network, got it to operate everything with a min. of hassle (actually they were very helpful and that is a refreshing change of pace).  Somewhat timidly, I pointed it towards the box and told it to record, then at the TV, same deal, and everything worked.

I am so happy.

Finally caught a break and did something right for a change, that is a good thang.  If I was doing any better than I currently am, I afraid I would have to pay an amusement tax.

Might be hope for me yet.  I feel as if I am getting more mellow with age, I know this might be hard for some people to understand, but it is true.  This weekend for instance I hit two winning tickets on the lottery, the amount wasn’t all that sizable, about $162 for both tickets.

Now here is the rub.

When I go to cash in the tickets, the girl says to me, “We cannot pay this ticket, it is too much.”  Which is contrary to the rules of the lottery.  The lottery rules clearly state that retailers are NOT allowed to sell tickets unless they can keep a min. of $500 in their respective stores to pay all tickets when presented for amounts less than $600.  So here I stand at another juncture in time, “Do you want to be right or do you wanna be happy?”

Oh yeah, one more thing, I tried a new store for my tickets.  At this store (one I do not usually frequent) there is a sign and it reads:  ”This store sold a winning Powerball Ticket for $40,012.00.”  So I asked the clerk, “did they come back and give you a tip?” and she replied, “Yes they did.”  So I said, “How much” and she got this sour look on her face and said, “He gave me a twenty dollar bill.”

What kind of piker does that, when Lady Luck smiles on him like that?

As I clearly do not have an idea as to what the answer might be, I will wrap this up for the day.  I have my own problems to work on … like finding a way to do something about this Libido thing … if I could fix that, I would have it made.

Some folks would of course, see that video as kind of sexist, but I see it as a celebration of the female form.  Anywho, comments are open, take your best shot.

See you at the water cooler.

OOO

August 21, 2012

Come Wake Me Up

Every now and then, like a blind hog, I get lucky and stumble upon an acorn.

 

This past weekend I happened upon this song and this video, and it seems to have haunted me ever since.

 

This video is most likely the best video I have seen in years, if it doesn’t stir you emotions, then I just don’t know what to say to you.

 

Watch it all the way to the end … It will move you.  

This will be the only post for today … please enjoy.

OOO

August 15, 2012

Red All Over

“So there you go boys & girls, quite possibly everything in the world that you would ever want to know about the color red.  Proof positive that most hacks can write just about anything on the Internet.”

What is it about the color red that gets everyone going?  Did you ever stop to consider all the ramifications that one little color seems to carry or denote in our society?  The color Red is everywhere and is in our lives daily. A red car for instance, will get you a ticket by a police officer faster than any other color, don’t know why, but it is true.  Red used to be the favorite color of a auto makers but I am not all that sure right now, there are a rainbow of colors available.

I do know this …. Red paint will cost you more if you are buying material right now, almost twice that of other colors. When embarrassed what color do you turn? What planet is known as the Red Planet?  What color is the devil in all cartoons?  The color is everywhere.  The doctor looks over your test results, frowns and then says … “I see a red flag here.”

What is it that attracts a humming bird to the feeder, most of them are red in color, the liquid inside the feeder, again, red.  My Mama used to say, “Donnie, you make me so mad at times, I am seeing red!”  Old sayings … “Red sky at night, sailor’s delight.  Red sky at morning, sailor take warning.” In the movie Shawshank Redemption, one of the main characters in the movie is Morgan Freeman.  His name in the movie is “Red” when asked why they call a black man Red, he says, “I dunno.  Might be because I am Irish?”  Which is a funny line, I don’t care where you live.  By the way, do you live in a Blue State or a Red State?

Exceeding the RPM limits on a gasoline engine is referred to as “Red Lining.”

Red is the most restrictive signal color on the highway and on American Railroads (Fire Your A** Red) and on indicator or warning lights on appliances and machines.  Wave a red flag in front of a bull, but I don’t believe that one.  Personally I think most bulls are color blind and it is just the movement of the rag that draws his attention.

When your checking account is overdrawn it is in “the red.”  As the sun slowly sinks below the horizon it is called “A Red Sunset.”  When you read positive on a pregnancy test, what color does the stick change to?  Hah!  Gotcha, it changes to Blue.  Just checking to see if you are paying attention or are still here?)

Remember back in school, when you screwed it all up, and the teacher circled on it or wrote on your paper for all the world to see in red.  You cannot get away from the color, it is everywhere.  The tide rolls in at the seashore, and all the fish come with it, victims of the Red Tide. Not to be confused with the Alabama Crowd who proudly boast of being the Crimson Tide.

Now back in the day, when I was young and she was frisky.  She would put on a red teddy or wear some red lingerie and I would just go bonkers.  Something about a woman dressed in Red.  If you don’t believe me, ask Tom Hanks (Lady In Red, The Man With One Red Shoe) or Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman (Mmmmmm that red dress) the late Patrick Swayze, who starred in the movie, Red Dawn. Why do men pay so much attention to women that are dressed in red?  Because they perceive them willing to have sex.  They are now and have been in the past attracted to women who are dressed in the scarlet color.

Perhaps it might behoove us to take it one step further.

It could be a trait that we learned from apes?  When female chimps achieve their peak fertility, a rush of estrogen opens up their blood vessels, which in turn flushes their faces, giving the males a clear cut signal that they are ready to mate.  When women on the other hand are “in the mood” their cheeks clearly exhibit that rosy color.

Leave it to a man, to always bring it back to S-E-X.  (Which come to think of it, is monkeyingaround, man, I am soooooo good!) So there you go boys & girls, 816 words on red, quite possibly everything in the world that you would ever want to know about the color red or the use of the word red.  Proof positive that most hacks can write just about anything or any subject on the Internet.

Tomorrow we will discuss why “One is the loneliest number that you’ll ever hear.” Uh huh …. sure. OOO

June 17, 2012

Current Conditions

Filed under: Blogging,humor,Life,Oklahoma,Recent — ldsrr91 @ 7:03 AM
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Oklahoma Dirt Road

“I try my best to understand her current condition, which is quite frankly, often beyond me … “

The wife is stomping around the house and she is not happy.  What is that old expression?  “If Mama aint happy … No one is happy?”  The dog, who has seen all of this before, knows it is a good time to go outside.  She walks to the back of the kitchen, whines and scratches at the door jamb, I let her out.

At least she can go outside, I have to stay right here.

Again my bride makes another quick pass thru the kitchen, she is on a mission, a self-induced tirade of sorts.  Clearly agitated and somewhat bent out of shape, I give her free reign at the refrigerator and allow her to pass.

Not always being the sharpest knife in the drawer I am able to figure out all by myself, that the weather is playing an important part of this scenario.  She keeps muttering something about “30% chance of thunderstorms, I had this to do, I wanted to do that, and now they are telling me a 30% chance of thunderstorms?”

Funny, how something as trivial as the weather, can lead to a life trigger on a somewhat non-de-scrip day in Oklahoma.

I try my best to understand her current condition, which is quite frankly, often beyond me, slowly I approach her (this is always the best route to take, a slow cautious, somewhat careful approach) a technique I learned during the PMS days.  Which if you are a man, stands for “Pack My Suitcase! 

I look at her and say gently …. “Hon, a 30% chance of rain, is also a 70% chance of sunshine.”

This works, she calms down a little, let’s it soak in and then says …. “Yeah, right.”

It is not often easy being the keeper of the community sanity in my neck of the woods, it is a tough job, but someone has to do it.  Attack the problem, with a take no prisoners attitude often works quite well too.  And then, there is always the old drop to the floor and play dead routine.  But that seldom works, she is wise to that one after some thirty-years of marriage.

I walk over to the cabinet, fetch me a empty cup and head for the coffee maker.  Much like the dog, I know it is best to get outside, fresh cup of Joe in my hand, I head for my shop.  Checking the sky, there isn’t a cloud in sight … It is going to be a good, good day.

OOO

Photo Credit:  Tau Zero  Good Stuff Check It Out.

May 8, 2012

Close Encounters

Filed under: Blogging,humor,Life,Oklahoma,Recent,Uncategorized — ldsrr91 @ 8:18 PM
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The monkey never learns.  You see, the monkey he loves brown rice, and he knows that if he sticks his hand inside the enclosure, he is going to get shocked.  He knows that it will hurt and it will cause him pain, but he loves the rice, so he sticks his hand in the enclosure one more time.

The room seemed incredibly warm, it could have been the wine, sometimes it has that effect on me.  Looking across the table, she radiates her beauty and everything has that feeling of being just right.  The food is excellent, the waiter is most attentive, and my woman is smiling back at me.  I am not hitting all of them out of the park, but I believe I am getting some base hits, it is going to be a good night.

After dinner, I tell her, “I have a surprise for you.”

She looks at me, and then says, “Oh yeah, what could you have after all this?  This was terrific.”

Sliding her chair out from the table, I reach down and grab her hand, and then smile, “Walk this way my dear.”

The hallway is basically empty and there are not a lot of people about for a Friday night, I am somewhat surprised.  Walking over to the elevator, I punch the button marked up and the doors open.

She looks at me and says, “What’s going on?”  I just smile my toothy smile and say … “Be patient.”

Short ride up to the room, I slip the plastic card into the magnetic card reader, the little green light illuminates and there is a distinct metallic click.  Opening the door, we walk into the room and she smiles, and then says to me, “Ohhhhh, this is nice.”

So far so good.

I pull her close to me and I breathe in the scent that is my woman, she feels good in my arms, she not only entices me, she excites me at the same time.  I kiss her softly and then say to her, “Let’s make love.”

She says, “No we better not.”  I am taken back, after all of my scheming, my planning, all of this, she says “NO?”

I ask her why …. She says “the boys might hear us.”

Which just flabbergasts me to no end, I have heard this before, I have heard it far too many times in my life.

Desperately trying to hold onto what sanity I have left I say … “What?  Are you kidding me?”

She says, “No.  SOMEONE will hear us.”

So I reason with her, maybe this will work.  “No one is going to hear anything, let’s get it on.”

She looks at me with those big brown eyes, eyes a man could drown in, and says “Give me one good reason.”

I sigh, and say “Okay.  I will give you two.

#1 … Listen, the boys are grown and long gone, the youngest one is 39 years old for cryin’ out loud.

And #2 … we are at the Marriott Inn.”

The poor, poor monkey … he never learns.

OOO

April 11, 2012

Of Ladies And Things

Joe in Kalifornyuh commented on my fashion sense, go check it out perhaps you might have one too?   Just read where women 23 years old are the ladies most likely to wear a mini-skirt.  Mini-skirts were the height of fashion in the swinging 60s, but if you wore one first time round, it’s probably best to leave it to the 23-year-olds now.  If gravity is pulling your knees down, try this season’s pencil skirts for an age-appropriate sexy style. Personally, I am not into pleats, but they are still nice looking on some women.

But if you’ve got youth on your side, flaunt it.  And remember girls: Either show legs or cleavage, never both at the same time.  If you want to read more plus pictures, here is the link.

A woman in Tampa Bay, Florida, ran over a bunch of people here recently, she was said to have made orbits first, smiling sort of sinister like, before the actual vehicular attack.  Just goes to show you, the old axiom is right:  IF YOU DON’T LIKE THE WAY WOMEN DRIVE … GET OFF THE SIDEWALK.  Allstate will give you a driving bonus, but I don’t believe this qualifies.

One more month, and they let ‘em out of school for the summer, are you ready?  As school winds to a close and little hands go in search of amusement, your kitchen can double as a classroom.  Don’t hover. “It’s frustrating for the child and for everybody if the parent is constantly saying, “Oh no! That’s not how you do it!’ and trying to take over the task.”

REMEMBER IT IS ALWAYS MORE EXCITING TO ALLOW THE CHILD TO SKIN AND PREPARE THEIR OWN MANGO.

AND, OF COURSE,

LEARN ON THEIR OWN THAT CATS DO NOT ALWAYS WANT A BATH.

UFO FILMED OUTSIDE AN AIRLINER IN KOREA RECENTLY.  WHICH MAKES ME WONDER, “HOW COME THE SHAPE OF THESE THINGS NEVER SEEMS TO CHANGE?”  YOU WOULD THINK AFTER ALL OF THESE YEARS THAT THEY WOULD EVOLVE TO SOMETHING DIFFERENT THAN CIGAR SHAPED, AREN’T THERE IMPROVEMENTS AND EQUIPMENT UPGRADES ON OTHER PLANETS?

CHINA-MART HAS PLASTIC EGG SHELLS AND CHOCOLATE BUNNIES ON SALE NOW … HALF PRICE.  THE HOLIDAY IS OVER …. EVERYTHING YOU EVER WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT “EVIL EASTER BUNNIES” CAN BE FOUND HERE ISN’T ANYTHING SACRED IN THIS COUNTRY ANY MORE?

HERE IS YOUR CHUCKLE FOR THE DAY

CAN SOMEONE PEASE TELL ME WHY I SEEM TO BE TYPING EVERYTHING IN ALL CAP’S?

OOO

February 23, 2012

Show Me Your Magic

Carrie Underwood is playing on my radio this morning, “Your Sexy Eyes” and my mind is wandering.  Carrie Underwood, an Oklahoma girl by the way, is yummy.  I look upon her and I see Margo, but there will be more of that later, I digress.  Today’s offering is a little long in the tooth, but I am sure you will find it engaging or at least I hope you do.

***

Occasionally, in the early morning shank of the day, I will allow my mind to drift off to more favorable times in my life.  A period of my life for the most part (as I remember it) was carefree and pleasurable.  (Taking into consideration that the mind will trick you, those old days, that we perceive now, that were so good, weren’t actually all that great)

A time now long gone but fondly remembered.

Checking most of my cares and concerns at the door, I sometimes allow a part of me to run casually thru the start of my day and a good warm cup of coffee.  At times I will make a trip thru the Rockies on my old Harley, the wind in my face, and the pipes wracking off the walls of the deep cuts in the rock alongside the highway.  I will sit on a mountain pass in Wyoming and watch a UP Coal Train or Freight wind down thru the valley on its way to Nebraska.

From time to time I will think of that girl.  There is always that one girl in every-man’s life.

For most intents and purposes, I am the hopeless romantic,  a dreamer of unprecedented scope and depth.  Sometimes a little bit socially dysfunctional.  But being blessed at an early age with an overactive imagination, has also proven to been helpful.  I am quite adept at remembering those times when everything seemed so bountiful and it was there for the taking.  The days where the fruit of life, was ripe and ready, within my reach on the first limbs of the tree.

On some mornings I can swing the pendulum of my emotions in either direction.  This morning it is romance.  Those times when your heart leaned towards issues of affection instead of conservative worry and concern for the upside down stress filled world we all live in.

Thinking of those mornings when you looked at Margo with a longing in your heart, even though you knew that she was poisoned fruit on the tree.  Margo was the girl at the operations desk, a treat I often yearned for, but often I thought clearly was out of my reach.  Margo was a prize, she was in all respects, worthy of attention.

When you looked at her and your heart seemed to stop as if for a brief moment in time or actually skipped a beat.  Which today, much later in time would be of great concern to many of us.  Remembering that period that was a little of the good and a little of the bad.  Working day in and out, to make a living and not seeing much of a rainbow at the end.

That is about the way it was.

Each day, after receiving our assignments, we would trot out the door and go about our day.  We had to walk by Margo on the way out, she would be sitting there at the operations desk, all prim and proper, looking as if she were a fresh picked hot-house flower.  On some mornings, the fragrance that was her, would permeate the room, a refreshing pleasant change of pace.

She would sit there at the operations desk, in just a plain chiffon sort of summer dress, no bra, her nipples straining against the sheer fabric. Occasionally, now and then, a loose buttoned shirt and some well worn Levi’s.  Hand picked (all by design) I am sure, to drive a man crazy or slowly out of his mind.

Looking back on it, in a way it was kind of comical in some respects.

Watching each working hand approach the desk, some nodding their head on the way out in recognition of her presence.  From time to time a few, here and there, would stop to linger and “work their magic on her” try their line, put their hook in the water.

Married or single, it made no difference, the male of the species much like a honey worker bee, would hover around her desk and she would hold court.  I often wondered if she appreciated or scorned the unwanted advances, and I guess I will never know?

So each day, she would watch, listen and observe the practice or ritual.  In a way a for the most part, losing proposition for the average working hand.  Giving it their best, their all … Only to find that all they got in the end, was a nod of her head, or a gentle sort of smile or giggle and not much more than that.

In those days, now long past, and a long way down the proverbial path, I have to admit, “I did not have much of a line for Margo.”  Just was not all that smooth, a player as the younger generation would describe it, was not to be found in my make up in any shape form or manner.  The best I could muster up as I remember was “How you doin?” and a brief smile.

Pretty lame, certainly not sexy.

On some days, I would stop and watch the testosterone circus unfold, and I would arrange my orders over at the small desk in the corner, sip on a small white styrofoam cup of coffee, stirred with a plastic spoon and loaded with way too much sugar.  And Margo would catch me, snatching a quick glance her way, checking her out and she would smile.  Those were the times when I would think about some day, maybe, just maybe, she would lean over, give me a brief peek down her loosely buttoned blouse and then gently place one a salty kiss on my lips.

(Yeah I know, kind of sad, but please remember this is MY story)

Then one day, for no apparent reason that I can now remember, I found myself standing at the order desk, end of the day, arranging my orders and fixing to turn in the paperwork and preparing to call it quits.  Quite by surprise, all of a sudden, really don’t know how it transpired or came into being, I found myself in a position to make a move.

Now please remember Dear Reader, “I don’t have a LOT of moves” maybe one or two, and they are rusty and archaic by today’s standards.

Strangely I found myself diving in, like a monkey with a football, I was clumsily working MY magic on her.  Taking in the expanse of her big green eyes and leaning over a little bit, hoping to catch her scent.  I found myself fishing in unfamiliar waters.  So mustering up a little courage from somewhere deep inside, I said, “You hungry girl?”  At the same time thinking to myself “she is way out of your league chump, she won’t give you the time of day.”

And low and behold, she smiled back and said, “Why?  What do you have in mind?”

This is the part we were talking about, the part where you feel your heart skip a little bit, you feel your knees weaken, all of a sudden, it is a lot hotter in the room.  The door to her world opens just a little bit, so I take the shot.  “Oh, I was just thinking.  Maybe the Steakhouse, baked potato, glass of wine, a little conversation?” which I was hoping would sound interesting and still non-threatening.

She mulls it over in her mind a little bit and then says, “No strings, just dinner and some talk?” and I nod my head and say, “Sure.”  She replies, “How about 4:30PM-5:00PM, that okay with you?”

Bingo!

“Sure” and we quickly iron out the details.  I beat a quick retreat to my digs, a ratty little apartment some two miles away as the crow flies,  jump in the shower, do my thing … y’know, wash the stinky parts, throw on some foo-foo water, fresh shirt and head on down to the restaurant.

Dinner was nice, nothing extraordinary or rare, just a good sumptuous meal, Rib-Eye, glass of red wine and some talk.  Afterwards, I inquire as to desert, would she like some?  Which she graciously declines.  Paying the tab and dropping the tip on the table I escort her out of the restaurant.  In the dim light of the day, sunset, I walk her to her car, squeeze her hand and say, “That was nice.  Let’s do it again.”

Opening the car door, I smile and bid her good-night.

A few weeks pass, another page on the calendar falls.  Back to work, she is there as always, I smile, she nods her head, out the door and it is time to make a living.  This goes on for a week or two, the routine of the morning, the ritual, the process with which we all have to endure, in order to make our mark in this world.

Then one afternoon, I am walking by her desk, end of the day.

She calls out my name, “Hey Don, what are you up to?” and I reply, “Paying the rent girl, paying the rent.”  She laughs and then throws her head back and allows her hair do that thing that she makes it do.  I think to myself …. “That is nice.”

Then she smiles and starts to work HER magic on ME.  “You hungry sport?” and I say, “You bet, same thing, same place, as before?”  She nods her head in agreement.  I start to walk away and I again hear the soft voice call out my name, “Hey Don?”  Slowly turning around I turn back and look at her.

She leans over the counter, her beauty and scent fill my universe, ever so slowly she checks the room, insuring that it is just the two of us, and then she says …. “This time, after dinner … if you want to … We can go somewhere private like the Ramada on the South-side and I will be your desert.”  That day, my eyes were opened a little bit and in the gentle haze I found:  “Life is often good and you don’t need a lot of moves to make it all work.”

Have a great weekend, find that special someone in your life and show them your magic.

OOO

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