Creative Endeavors, The Home of BoxcarOkie.com

June 17, 2012

Current Conditions

Filed under: Blogging,humor,Life,Oklahoma,Recent — ldsrr91 @ 7:03 AM
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Oklahoma Dirt Road

“I try my best to understand her current condition, which is quite frankly, often beyond me … “

The wife is stomping around the house and she is not happy.  What is that old expression?  “If Mama aint happy … No one is happy?”  The dog, who has seen all of this before, knows it is a good time to go outside.  She walks to the back of the kitchen, whines and scratches at the door jamb, I let her out.

At least she can go outside, I have to stay right here.

Again my bride makes another quick pass thru the kitchen, she is on a mission, a self-induced tirade of sorts.  Clearly agitated and somewhat bent out of shape, I give her free reign at the refrigerator and allow her to pass.

Not always being the sharpest knife in the drawer I am able to figure out all by myself, that the weather is playing an important part of this scenario.  She keeps muttering something about “30% chance of thunderstorms, I had this to do, I wanted to do that, and now they are telling me a 30% chance of thunderstorms?”

Funny, how something as trivial as the weather, can lead to a life trigger on a somewhat non-de-scrip day in Oklahoma.

I try my best to understand her current condition, which is quite frankly, often beyond me, slowly I approach her (this is always the best route to take, a slow cautious, somewhat careful approach) a technique I learned during the PMS days.  Which if you are a man, stands for “Pack My Suitcase! 

I look at her and say gently …. “Hon, a 30% chance of rain, is also a 70% chance of sunshine.”

This works, she calms down a little, let’s it soak in and then says …. “Yeah, right.”

It is not often easy being the keeper of the community sanity in my neck of the woods, it is a tough job, but someone has to do it.  Attack the problem, with a take no prisoners attitude often works quite well too.  And then, there is always the old drop to the floor and play dead routine.  But that seldom works, she is wise to that one after some thirty-years of marriage.

I walk over to the cabinet, fetch me a empty cup and head for the coffee maker.  Much like the dog, I know it is best to get outside, fresh cup of Joe in my hand, I head for my shop.  Checking the sky, there isn’t a cloud in sight … It is going to be a good, good day.

OOO

Photo Credit:  Tau Zero  Good Stuff Check It Out.

June 4, 2012

A Note From Joey

Filed under: Blogging,Life,Oklahoma,Recent,Uncategorized — ldsrr91 @ 6:18 AM
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Email of the Week: 

Don’t understand the “jamokes” that write and/or add stuff to our “daily rag” here in Stockton, but this’n caught my eye this a.m. regarding your “fly-over” state.

Seems that ol’ Texas had been bragging that THEY had the hottest temperatures here recently, but NOTSOFAST says the bubble headed blonde weather person in Oklahoma !  It seems that y’all beat ‘em out by afew degrees, and alas, our daily rag failed to add the numbers into the article!!!

Joey

We were hotter than Texas if anyone cares.

In case you are interested here is the link.

Heat really isn’t news around here, happens every year, in August it will get so hot that the asphalt will start to melt and that is no exaggeration.  They are predicting that this year will be a banner year as far as the heat is concerned.  So it appears that we are in for another one.

All of the Purple Martins showed up late this year, they mated, taught the youngsters how to hunt and fly, and have now departed.  Last year they were here until the 13th of July, this year, they are all gone by the first of June.  Once again, Mother Nature is telling us something, all you have to do is “tune in” and it is right there in front of your face.

Really do not know what to write about this morning.

I could briefly touch on this guy, where was it, South Florida?  Anywho, he killed this guy and then ate him!  Whooooie, scratch off South Florida off that vacation getaway list quickie pronto.  Wonder if McDonalds is serving a “Happy To Be Alive Meal” there?

It is really anyone’s guess in this country any more, things are getting so bad in Detroit for instance that they are even killing the fish.  They have no suspects, and those in charge are saying that “it is a naturally occurring process in nature.”  Never mind the sixty top floaters in the one tank, the empty gallon bottle of Clorox and the crystal clear water.

How about the young mummy who put her five week old baby on the roof of the car in a baby seat and then drove off with the tot on her roof.  Clearly this was not the sharpest knife in the drawer.  “Honey have you seen our baby?”

This is week #2 since I made a abrupt exit from another website where they want it one way but demand that it be just the opposite.  It literally amazes me the length and breadth that some people on the Internet will go to in order to enforce their version of the truth in order to win.  It is times such as this, that the internet, trolls, websites with over-active moderators really suck.

The other thing that amazes me is the fact that they are doing battle over basically nothing, trivial unimportant matters and ideals.  Hard fought battles for ownership of typically infertile ground  … Where is the winner in that?

What seems to get me is somehow it is always a twisted version of so-called truth that is served up for me to eat, and I always find it somewhat unsavory or appealing.

Like Nicholson says in the movie … “A Few Good Men” … The truth?  You can’t stand the truth, you don’t want the truth!”

So, like the gentleman that I am, gave them a piece of my mind, and then I just packed up and walked away.  Put a filter on their spam notices and looking back on it all, it has been a quiet, good two weeks, I should have done this a long time ago.

Just checked Saturday’s lotto tickets, no winners, hell, not even close.  It would be nice to just “be close” one time, but no such luck.  Looks like y’all (Okie talk) are stuck with me for a few more weeks I am afraid.  I am surely not complaining, don’t get me wrong, it could get a lot worse.

So Joey, that is the news from the Fly Over State, Oklahoma … Home of the OU Sooners, bad roads, and really big women!

Here is the news from your side of the country.

Ugly-ass coyote pups have been born in Golden Gate Park, this increases the total animal population to what, 13?  The local homeless on the other hand, are not happy, and are demanding protection, and of course barbecue sauce.  Here is the link pard, I am outta here.  Once again, thanks for your comments, you write good comments.

See you at the water cooler …..

OOO

Cartoon courtesy of AmericanProgress.org

[#1267]

June 24, 2009

Turning Myself Around

Filed under: Oklahoma,Recent — ldsrr91 @ 5:12 AM
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The sign read, “Gas $2.21 per gallon” so I thought to myself, “that sure is cheap, I am gonna get some of that.”  Isn’t that sad, I mean, I have reached a point in life, where I conceive $2.21 per gallon as “cheap.”  I don’t know what is wrong with me, like Pavlov’s dogs, I have been conditioned to believe that they are giving me a good deal.

I need to grow a pair, and get back to bitching, I have become too complacent.

Turned on the tube and the weatherman is predicting, how was it he put it?   Oh yeah, “the Metroplex are may be experiencing some mild severe weather today.”  I don’t know what a Metroplex might be, I live in a city, and how do you get “mild severe” weather?  I get a kick out of the media news people and how they pump things up to make them sound so important, when in fact, “they have nothing.”

  • He was shot by an “Uninvited guest” and then rushed to the hospital.
  • Homeless people are “highly depressed” which is what researchers have found.
  • The following is a “live recording” of the facts.
  • Here is Mark with our “authentic reproduction” of what happened.
  • Today a new race of people, who live inside the earth, were discovered, when one of them came to the surface to go to China-Mart to buy a sun lamp.

Mmmmmmm, coffee is good this morning, fresh pot, you should be here, or in the interest of “good mental health” perhaps it would be safer to be somewhere else.

You make the call.

That is another one, you go to my buddy’s house and he will ask you, “want some coffee?”  Which always strikes me as funny, as I have coffee at home, why would he offer me some?  We are a funny bunch aren’t we?  My father used to say to me, “straighten up and fly right or I am going to read you the riot act.”

Being a young man, I was always hoping for something better, like “The Gentleman’s Guide to French Kissing” or something like that, when you are a teenager, you don’t want anyone reading any kind of act to you.

Man, that takes the cake.  Where did that one come from?  Where do you take a cake?  How come it is not “that takes the pie?” which we all know is easier to carry than a cake, which would be a “piece of cake.”

Huh?

Been a target rich environment for word games this week, here is a mid week ditty for you.  “To go inside yourself, you must empty your mind and clear your head.”  More psycho-babble from Channel Five, I won’t say who, but he is almost completely bald, used to live in Texas, his wife is named after a bird, and he is often full of it.

Which reminds me.  That is like the expression, “the guy was completely beside himself.”  How do you get “beside” yo’self, and they thought Ebonics was weird?

Time to go, remember the only thing which isn’t up for grabs is no change, and I think it is fair to say, it is all to play for, except for no change.  And finally, in closing, remember that you are never ever completely alone; whether you are inside or beside yourself.  When it gets down to the nitty gritty, in the end, you will always have yourself.

Got that?

So goes Wednesday 6-24-09, Hump Day for a five day a week, minimum wage slave in Oklahoma, hang in there, you almost have it made.  If none of this is working for you, I guess you will just have to get inside yo’self, and clear your head.  I have done all I truthfully feel I can do this day …

Like the folks over at RosettaStone say …. “One day, his son would speak to the world, and he wanted them to understand.” Alas …. Parting is such sweet sorrow, but it is time for me to slink off and “grow a pair” or find some other constructive avenue of thought to while away my day.

OOO

February 27, 2009

Don’t get ugly

Filed under: Oklahoma,Recent — ldsrr91 @ 4:51 AM
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Here lately I have just got cranky, might be the wind blowing, it might be I am sick of winter, it might be old age.  I dunno.  Yesterday I allowed myself to get involved in some mindless debate from some critic and I hate that.  The fact that I am so easy sucked into these pointless debates, and the fact that I am not “Politically Correct” or at best, even in the ballpark.

Today however, I wanted to begin by summarizing, but then I got to thinking, shoot, we aint even had no spring yet!

So, this morning I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, it is possible to do these things, the economy may be bad, but they still have enough left over, to keep the lights on …. For now anyway.  And I tell myself “one more time” to … Focus, you just have to hang in there.

The man who sticks to his plan will become what he used to want to be. As I have said before, perhaps I am like Icarus, simply a man who dared to dream, a man who flew too close to the sun. Or like Daedalus, a man who equipped his son with unsafe wings made of easily melted beeswax? I would say the answer to this question is all and neither.

Dream little or dream small …. In the final tally … it doesn’t matter at all.

Most people think life sucks, and then you die. Not me. I beg to differ.  Most of the news sucks … I will give you that.  The national media coverage on the economy continues to be “dismal at best.” The outright lying and perfidy seems to have escalated this week. I swear, if I get one more Email on Obama or racist joke promoting ignorance and watermelons.  I am going to pull my hair out (and I certainly do not have a lot of it pull at this juncture in time.  Matter of fact, I have more in my ears than I have on my head).

I would rather see reporting on the malfeasance’s of the rich and powerful, and some indefatigable media coverage that turns up evidence of same. That would satisfy my fury of being milked too death, and starved out of life as we know it. I don’t need debates on misspelled state names, or other trivial BS tasteless mind numbing drivel concerning our new black president.

I need some relief from the very American’s that live here, the rich and the powerful, the politically connected amongst us.

Perhaps today is a good day to go to the Mall (before it closes from lack of business) and find a good book for the weekend.  Books are so dog-gone expensive anymore, I don’t know how anyone can afford to buy and read two or three a month. A cheap read is about $15 and that doesn’t guarantee it will be a “good read” by any stretch of the imagination.

I have been spending a lot of time at the keyboard, and I miss my reading time. I am anxiously anticipating spring, some time on the porch with a good book, a glass of sweet tea.  Sure hope I can afford one of the two.

Have A Great Weekend … We will see you on Monday.

OOO

November 8, 2008

Thunder On The Plains

Filed under: humor,Oklahoma,random,Recent,Uncategorized — ldsrr91 @ 6:48 PM
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I was sitting and resting and talking with a friend as he passed my way.  We talked of neighbors, the weather, and the crops, of all the men who had left the farm, to work in the big city shops.  Of the girl who married the boy from out California way, the work being done on the new Intra-State Highway.  Of sickness and of health of money and things, of all this government spending the people in Washington are doing these days and all the unwanted trouble it seems to bring.

And then the rain came.

thunderstorms

It came in buckets last night, the wind was incredible and this morning, I am facing a Rocky Mountain High Sized pile of leaves in my yard.  Which is ironic, because they are not my leaves, they are the leaves of my neighbors, I have pine trees in my yard.

One thing you can count on living in Oklahoma, smack-dab in the center of the U.S.A. is that the weather is going to be terrible.  This is the only place in the continental United States where you can stand up to your rear in mud, and get dust in your eyes.

A friend of mine came out to visit us one time from California (the Sunshine State) and she saw a bird running across the road and inquired of me, “What type of bird was that?”  So jokingly I said “Bird Of Paradise” (as I did not know exactly what type of bird it was).

She laughed, and said to me, “Bit lost isn’t he?”

So it rained and it has disturbed my peace of mind.  My telephone rings and it is my neighbor and he says, “the rain has stopped, best get out your mower and take care of all them leaves.  Don’t forget to put gas in it first, and make sure the blade is attached.“

Blade, it has a blade?

(Why am I always the last person to know these things?)

Over the years, men have come up with thousands of excuses for NOT doing yard work.  War, Religion, Pyramids, The United States Senate.  Finally they came up with the ultimate excuse.  Business.  My job will not allow me to do the yard work.

As much as I desire to do yard work, as much as I want a front yard devoid of leaves, as much as I want to do yard work, trimming, bagging, cutting and mowing.  As much as every fiber of my being cries out …. I WANT YARD WORK … PLEASE LET ME DO SOME YARD WORK … I just cannot find time to do it these days.

Man, has finally figured it out.

Every day after breakfast he would announce to the wife, “Well honey, I am off to my office or factory now.  I will see you later.” The man would just leave and never return until later, when supper was on the table and ready (that would be dinner for all you folks in California and the west coast, Europe and Asia, I am not sure).

He would conveniently arrive home much too late to do yard work.

It was a lot simpler when man lived in the cave, all he had to do is hunt down some food, drag it back to the cave, paint a drawing on the wall every now and then, and stay away from “primitive woman.”  Now look what we have progressed to?

Total chaos.

It was much better back then.  Primitive woman would say, “You!  How come you are not outside doing yard work?” Whereupon, me (primitive man) would say … “Hey, get off my back!  I haven’t even invented fire yet.”

So back to yard work, I would much rather spend my time this day watching anthropology studies on the PBS network than get outside and rake up the leaves of my neighbors.  I would rather get down on all fours and peck at the dirt like a chicken than do yard work.  I would spend an hour watching monkey’s pick fleas off of each other and scratch parts of their bodies usually reserved for private, than do yard work.

pammyBay Watch comes on at 3:30 PM another anthropology study where primitive-well-developed-woman runs up and down the beach wearing a stretch garment that, if not occupied by Pammy Sue, would contract to the size of a gum wrapper.

That beats raking leaves any time.

A blade?  Hmmmm, well, I’ll be dipped.

000

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