Creative Endeavors, The Home of

January 25, 2015

You Remember When …

DSC00382There is a well worn phrase or title for sure. This morning I had Valentine’s Day and my A-B-C’s on my mind.  I chose this subject matter.

The Valentine’s post can wait.

Here it comes, are you ready?

Warning: Contains nothing, absolutely nothing of literary value. As most of you already know.  My blog’s major thrust today shall be, complaining, guilt and regrets. I will try not to let good writing get in the way.

 You Remember When?”  (more…)

January 24, 2015

Xpress Line …

Filed under: Life,Recent — ldsrr91 @ 7:35 PM
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Yesterday, weather was good, so we made a Bacon Run to China-World.  Great deal of traffic on the Super Slab, the low prices on gasoline has started to show up as a plus for the consumer.  They can actually afford to go somewhere now.

I saw this at China-World and thought it would be a good deal, so we bought a package and brought it home, I really cannot remember what the price of the item was. (more…)

December 4, 2014

Jus Sayin 1204

Filed under: humor,Oklahoma,Recent — ldsrr91 @ 12:00 AM
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Doctor - funny

Going to doctor today, this always has tendency to really _____ me off.

They ask ALL THE QUESTIONS and I say:

“No Change.”

Have you any new prescriptions?

Nothing has changed since my last visit.

Your phone number?

No change.

Do you still live at this address?

No change.

Is your health insurance current?

No change.

Can you tell me who recommended Dr. ______ to you?

The ambulance driver.

I am now going to shove four feet of firehose up your Whahzoo

Let me know if you feel any discomfort

Going to doctor today, this always has tendency to really _____ me off.

Jus Sayin 

February 27, 2013

A New Look

Filed under: Blogging,Life — ldsrr91 @ 7:39 AM
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As Charlie approached middle age, mid-life, he suddenly came to the eye-awakening conclusion that physically, he was a mess. Not only was he going bald, but years of sitting at the desk quoting insurance rates, eating at Denny’s, had given him a rather large pot belly.

When asked about his love life, Charlie would sigh and then sadly lament, “If it wasn’t for pick pockets, I wouldn’t have any love life at all.” Old Charlie was not having much success, no matter which approach he tried, the life of a lover was just not working out.

He appeared at his doctor’s office for his semi-annual physical, the doctor asked him, “Well, Old Timer, I see you are still kicking.” And Charlie replied, “Yeah, but I don’t seem to be stirring up much dust anymore.” While sitting in the doctor’s office Charlie had read his horoscope and it said that he needed to institute a change in his life.

Maybe this was the key he thought.

So he flipped the paper over to the Personals section. “Burned out lady, seeks the next getting to know you hour and one-half phone call, preceding over-priced restaurant dinner in which we both trot out our desperate stories and whatever rancid history we happen to have dragged along with us, knowing from the start that it’s a complete waste of time, because the only ones we would really be interested in don’t exist.  Looking for SWM (Single White Male) 35-45, hair, eyes, wallet, etc.” No that won’t work he thought, so he browsed the ads some more. The next personal ad was almost as interesting. “Dolly Parton look alike, raving beauty in her mid thirties, seeks good man with beard or without. Family, not flings, interest me. Broke and hungry, but can cook. Bring food.” Charlie thought to himself, “Hmmmm, this could be her?”

Nowhere was the word “hefty or nice personality” and any other adjectives.

This one, he mused, sounded good. So he dutifully sat down and answered the ad. But things just did not work out for Old Charlie, even tho’ he desperately wanted them to. When he showed up at the appointed hour for the date, the lady who accepted his answer to the ad, just doubled over and laughed at him. “That does it! This is the final straw!” 

Charlie shouted, “I am going to turn over a new leaf. I am going to become a totally NEW man.”

Old Charlie decided right there, that he was going to get a new look. Setting out to radically change his life, Old Charlie sat out upon his new task, his mission in life. Charlie began a totally new daily regime. He laid off the heavy salad dressing and went for the low-cal instead. He began setting his alarm clock and each morning, he danced through the living room on the “Early Morning Workout.” 

He started carrying his briefcase with a new vigor. He began to lift weights and jog at the local gym.

Old Charlie had, it seemed, definitely put some new life in his step. Charlie cleaned out the closets of his life, no shelf was left unturned. “Out with the old and in with the new!” became the war cry of this Hun. No more quick bag of chips for breakfast, forget the candy bars (with the creamy caramel centers) after lunch, it was strictly the Granola Bar for Charlie, this was after all, “serious business.” This changing his life attitude that Charlie had developed from all outward appearances was working.

Old Charlie was determined that he was going to change, to have that NEW look. Not to be detoured, he decided he would go all the way. He went about his business one hundred and ten-percent (110%) he gave it his all. Taking out a second mortgage on his house, he got a new expensive hair transplant (not the cheapie model mind you, he got the Corvette of hair transplants), a pair of new corafam wing tip shoes, patent leather no less. A bright new red PT Cruiser with a CD player and tape deck. Rings, watch, enough gold to hang around his neck it looked like a Mr. T. starter set.

In the short span of six weeks, Old Charlie was a new man, or at least, he thought so. Again he answered the ad in the paper and asked the very same woman out for a date. Pleading his case like a seasoned trial lawyer, sounding like the Ben Matlock of the dating scene, he made his case. He said, “I have changed, you owe it to yourself, to inspect the NEW me.” The Perry Mason of charm had won his case, the lady agreed to meet with him. All of his hard work, his dedication, finally had paid off.

The day for the date arrived. For the first time in a very long time, Charlie was excited as he had never been excited before (kind of like that feeling you get when you get your first bicycle or something like that, right?) almost like a schoolboy facing his first prom. All polished and shining like a Jewel of the Nile, old Charlie stood there on the threshold of the lady’s house, all dressed up for the date. Decked out to the nines, looking better than he had ever looked in his entire life!

The NEW Charlie had arrived. He stood there on the steps of romance and wondered to himself, “If perhaps tonight, he might get lucky?”

Tonight is the night Old Charlie is going to give the lady a ring. “She will be sorry for laughing at me, I am a new man, from top to bottom. Things are going to be a lot different this time around.” As he stood there on the doorstep poised to ring the woman’s doorbell, a bolt of lightning struck him and knocked him off his feet.

As he lay there dying, he turned his eyes towards the heavens and asked, “Why? Why? I have busted my tail for this day, why now? After all I have been through, how could you do this to me?” 

From up above, there came a rumbling and a deep, bold voice said ……… Oh, sorry Charlie, didn’t recognize you.” *


* Any resemblance to anyone living or dead named Charlie, is purely coincidental and should not be construed as an actual representation of fact.

November 2, 2012

Chump Change

Filed under: Blogging,Life — ldsrr91 @ 4:57 AM
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“I love the Canadians, they are so much more fun that those people down south.”

Chump Change is the title of this piece, it is not to be confused with that guy who has the goofy hair do.  Last night on the news they were talking about a local business owner who had been bilked out of some $15,000 by a major credit card company and some nefarious people down in Florida.  This entire thing, simple in most respects, took a little over six years to produce the amount of money that the business man lost.  As I watched all of this unfold, two things went through my mind.

  1. This isn’t right, he proves he was taken, and the credit card company only refunds to him $500. 
  2. He must have not been a very astute business man to get bilked out of $15K over a period of “six years.”  Surely someone sent him a statement?

The thing that is really scary about all this to me personally is this, “I just opened an account with these very same people.”  There is one little plastic card that is now headed for the lock box and total obscurity.

When Josh Ferrin and his family moved into their first house, in Bountiful, Utah, he discovered more than $45,000 in cash hidden in eight boxes stored in the attic.  After counting it all out, Ferrin contacted the oldest son of the late previous owners and gave him the money.  The son told him that “from time to time, his father would bundle $100 dollar bills with twine, climb up into the attic and put it in a box to save.”

Which reminds me of the story of a widow woman who’s husband did the same thing.  One day her and the preacher were talking about it.  She told him, “he would take a ladder, open up the crawl space in the attic, remove this box, put all this cash in it.”  And the preacher said, “What else did he do?” and she said, “he would tell me that he was going to grab it on the way to heaven.”

So the preacher asked her, “do you think it is still there?” and the old lady said, “I dunno.”  Fetching a ladder, the preacher carefully climbed up to the hole, slid the door aside and looked inside.  The old woman said, “Do you see anything?” and the preacher reached inside the hole, grabbed a box full of money, and handed it to the widow and said, “Yep, looks like he went the other way.”

Residents in Newport Beach, California are up in arms after discovering that many city lifeguards make more than $100K per year, and one, over $200K.  The lifeguard union president says the salaries reflect the extra challenges of patrolling a surfing mecca.  Lifeguarding there is different than any other place in the world was the quote I believe.  Uh yeah?  Sure.  Pass me the sunblock.

I always like someone with a wild sense of humor.

The Centers for Disease Control posted an emergency guide for how to respond to an attack by flesh-eating zombies.  the page, posted to draw traffic to the CDC became so popular that the server went down.  Good news, it is November, and television just might get back to what would be in most cases “considered normal.”  I hate the month of October and all the ghoulish fun they want to shove down our throats.

I love the Canadians, they are so much more fun that those people down south.  A Canadian couple is keeping their newborn child’s gender a secret in order to make the world ‘a more progressive place.”  they say that their 4-month old, named Storm, will reveal his or her gender only when “Storm decides he/she would like to share.”

They feel it is obnoxious to identify a child’s gender on the basis of their genitalia.  “If you really want to get to know someone, you don’t ask what is between their legs.”  Wow, I mean how incredible is that?  Wake up one Friday morning and discover that you have been doing it all wrong for over 50+ years and did not even know it.

Have a great weekend, if you go out on Saturday Night and happen upon a shapely, somewhat attractive he/she, well, just take a guess at it.

It will all work out later on I suppose.


Here is what folks have been reading at Creative Endeavors this week:

Home page / Archives  
Bikinis (The reason men are pigs)  
Eagle Bus Project Files  
Clear Blue Sky  
The Worry Tree  
Sprinkle Some Kindness Here And There  
Nuthin Ever Stays The Same  
A Moment In Time  
Mr. Gorsky  
Trailer Project I

November 1, 2012

Sprinkle Some Kindness Here And There

Filed under: Blogging,Life — ldsrr91 @ 6:36 AM
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Stories are like your babies, you nurture them, shape them and polish them, then you trot them out in public and hopefully everything goes well. It bothers you when you lose one like that. I often feel as if a small piece of me is lost, that it has been stolen from me.

Been to a movie lately, checked in on your favorite Super Hero and his/her exploits?  A movie these days will run you anywhere from $15-$25 depending on your taste and if you get popcorn it is going to cost you more.

Yesterday I bought lunch for a elderly couple, complete strangers, and it only cost me about $17 all total.  I can also assure you, that the feeling that I received for this random act of kindness, far exceeded the cost that was laid out of pocket.  It was a whole lot more value, than the price of a movie ticket.

Lot of folks walking around kind of down in the mount, surely not going to the movies, and times are hard.  If you are able, help them out.  If you can afford it, every now and then reach down into your pocket for a handful of kindness and sprinkle it around.  You would be surprised on what transpires.

 Speaking of Super Hero’s?

Add Superman to the list of reporters leaving the newspaper business behind.  In the comic book series’ latest issue, which went on sale Wednesday, an outraged Clark Kent quits his job at The Daily Planet after his boss berates him.

“I was taught to believe you could use words to change the course of rivers — that even the darkest secrets would fall under the harsh light of the sun,” the superhero’s alter ego says in a newsroom outburst. ” But facts have been replaced by opinions. Information has been replaced by entertainment. Reporters have become stenographers. I can’t be the only one who’s sick of what passes for the news today.”  So another American Icon has fallen beside the wayside, and you can read about it here.

We will pass 1,225,000 views this month (November) and that is kind of incredible, one and a quarter million views, never thought I would live to see something like that.  I am also sure my English teacher, Mrs. McGee would not have believed it either.  Thanks guys, I could not have done it without you.

Last week I lost seven full days of work, accidentally trashed it with some old photo’s and I was upset for a couple of days because of this mishap.  I am in here today searching for a story and I have evidently lost it too. Well, those who know me personally will tell you “I lost it a long time ago” but we are talking about the story.

It was a nice slice of life, I gave it birth, I gave it a name, and I evidently killed it because it is nowhere to be found. I hate it when that happens, which here lately, happens more than I would wish it to.

Stories are like your babies, you nurture them, shape them and polish them, then you trot them out in public and hopefully everything goes well. It bothers you when you lose one like that. I often feel as if a small piece of me is lost, that it has been stolen from me.

Today, because I didn’t do a save, it is lost, it is gone.

Fortunately for me (and for you) life is one long never ending story, unraveling one page at a time, and each day, there will be a new one for me to tell. Stop by tomorrow and I will have another to share with you.

It is, after all, what I do.


October 25, 2012

Life’s Cold Shoulder

Filed under: Blogging,humor,Life,Oklahoma — ldsrr91 @ 4:26 AM
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I hit another ticket on the lottery, this time it was $18.00.  This month, for some reason, I am on the plus side of the scale on my lottery playing.  Which presents another terrible anxiety in my life, “Will I be too old to spend it when the Big One finally rolls around” and Lady Luck smiles upon me?  

Much as I hate to admit it, things change.  There are no more easy answers, no more low hanging fruit hanging from the tree, each day presents a totally new problem for me it seems.

You see, another birthday has come and gone. 

I am one year older, and my friend Jon says I complain too much.  Bill Cosby once said, “Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and the obituaries.”  So I have made a concentrated effort to do something different in my life these days. 

The coffee is good this morning, I am savoring it and reading the latest offering on the bus boards, I am not so much into obits.  Often change is hard to embrace, but we need to try.  Like it or not, we all start out as caterpillars and we end up beautiful butterflies  what we do with the rest of it, is our choice.

In the past I have written about the things in my life that effect me negatively, but today it is going to be different.  I am going to try and be upbeat about it all.  In the past I have been known to write with a somewhat remorseful tone or project a sorrowful attitude in salute to the dog days of my life … What optimistic and positive folks call The Golden Years.

One thing I have noticed here lately that is somewhat profound about my golden years is this.  I have long ago become invisible to young women.  They actually do not see me. But I am not writing this to complain. I am at peace with my circumstances. The blessing of sixty-five is a libido in decline.

The curse of it is that major pharmaceutical companies are successfully exploiting my insecurities. Suddenly that surreal commercial of a silver-haired guy sitting nude in an outdoor bath tub and holding hands with a naked, slightly younger voluptuous woman in an adjacent tub makes perfect sense.

To me it does … My wife on the other hand is oblivious to its meaning.

After an ocean of time, we still do not see things the same way.  But it is in the total scheme of things.  I read somewhere that while creating wives, God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world.

And then He made the earth round.

(See, at this age, you have new found wisdom.)

Sixty-five years old, roughly twice as old as my bus. Ironic, isn’t it?  Incidentally, my bus is, most likely in better shape, as it has had regularly scheduled maintenance during its lifetime.

Not long ago, I met an old tymer (sp.), now this guy was OLD (94) and I was amazed at some of the things that he had seen and experienced in his lifetime.  My life pales in comparison.  Soon I will be just like him I am afraid, starting all of my sentences with “back when I was a kid, or back in the day or I remember when.”

Which is of course … A dead give away.


October 23, 2012

You Win Some And You … Well, Y’know.

“I am so happy.  Finally caught a break and did something right for a change, that is a good thang.”

Bought some gasoline for my old truck today, it cost me $57.11 to fill it up, which is a lot of money to most people.  In Egypt they are paying .16 cents per liter, this translates to about .65 cents per gallon U.S..  Every day in this country, huge tankers, filled to the gills with this product are leaving the country and we are paying $3 per gallon?

Something just isn’t right.

Things are not good here in River City, the resident Mayor of BoogerTown lost eight stories that he had written for the website over the weekend.  I inadvertently moved them to the trash along with some old photo’s, did not notice this and then emptied the trash.  Man, that is so disappointing, all of them spell checked, formatted and ready to go and it all went south.

Now it appears that I will have to go back to working for a living.  Computer errors are so unforgiving and at the same time, they often gut you like a fish.  I had over a period of time, worked each one of these, and had them all ready to go, now they are in hard-drive heaven.

Received a new remote for the Dish Network, got it to operate everything with a min. of hassle (actually they were very helpful and that is a refreshing change of pace).  Somewhat timidly, I pointed it towards the box and told it to record, then at the TV, same deal, and everything worked.

I am so happy.

Finally caught a break and did something right for a change, that is a good thang.  If I was doing any better than I currently am, I afraid I would have to pay an amusement tax.

Might be hope for me yet.  I feel as if I am getting more mellow with age, I know this might be hard for some people to understand, but it is true.  This weekend for instance I hit two winning tickets on the lottery, the amount wasn’t all that sizable, about $162 for both tickets.

Now here is the rub.

When I go to cash in the tickets, the girl says to me, “We cannot pay this ticket, it is too much.”  Which is contrary to the rules of the lottery.  The lottery rules clearly state that retailers are NOT allowed to sell tickets unless they can keep a min. of $500 in their respective stores to pay all tickets when presented for amounts less than $600.  So here I stand at another juncture in time, “Do you want to be right or do you wanna be happy?”

Oh yeah, one more thing, I tried a new store for my tickets.  At this store (one I do not usually frequent) there is a sign and it reads:  “This store sold a winning Powerball Ticket for $40,012.00.”  So I asked the clerk, “did they come back and give you a tip?” and she replied, “Yes they did.”  So I said, “How much” and she got this sour look on her face and said, “He gave me a twenty dollar bill.”

What kind of piker does that, when Lady Luck smiles on him like that?

As I clearly do not have an idea as to what the answer might be, I will wrap this up for the day.  I have my own problems to work on … like finding a way to do something about this Libido thing … if I could fix that, I would have it made.

Some folks would of course, see that video as kind of sexist, but I see it as a celebration of the female form.  Anywho, comments are open, take your best shot.

See you at the water cooler.


October 4, 2012

Older Than Dirt …

Filed under: Blogging,humor,Life,Oklahoma,Recent — ldsrr91 @ 6:49 PM
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Today, October 5th, I have reached the status of an old fart.  I am pretty sure that my grandchildren elevated me to this lofty position years ago, but today, it is official.  I am one of them now.  

Old fart  An old man, an old fellow (considered offensive to the elderly) …… Why does the old fart keep on talking so much?  

2.  Old fart  An old guy that is just not right and officially has nothing in his tool box to offer ….. Peter turned the age of an old fart officially on Nov 22nd but, had been practicing for quite some time.  

3.  Old fart  What you smell when you smack your hand on your couch, car, or dining room chair, seat cushions ….. I was doing spring cleaning and beating the dust off the couch when that old fart hit me right in the face. We are graying out in this country, the driving force now seems to be the Baby Boomers that are taking out, for the “Good Life.”  Whatever is left of it, that is.  The American Dream thanks to years of neglect and voter apathy, is now long gone, a thing of the past, only a wisp of a memory on the consciousness of the people. I have no great plans for this day, it is after all, just another in a long string of days. 

Today, I find myself thankful that I still have a few years remaining, that my choices albeit somewhat limited are still available to me at this age. It is often hard for me to understand the aging process, the subtle changes in my moods, my body, my way of thinking.  I find it hard to get used to pee’ing in shifts, I don’t like the words, colonoscopy, medi-mucil, Citricell, you have a generic condition known as.  

Recently after going thru a few rounds of some physical discomfort, I inquired of my doctor, “What is it that caused this thing?” and he looked at me and smiled, “Too many birthdays” was his reply.  I could only think one thing at the time … “Well buddy, don’t look now, because your turn is a coming.”

 We all get a turn.

Officially retirement age, been awhile, but I made it.  I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse.  As I am officially retired, I can’t afford one.  So, I’m wearing my garage door opener. I also made a cover for my hearing aid and now I have what they call blue teeth, I think.  When you turn sixty-five you are allowed to do things like this, and hey?  

 “Nobody even notices.”

Viagra isn’t even an option any more, kind of like putting a brand new flagpole on a condemned building, b’sides you have to have a partner, dontcha?  One precursor to old age is that you have to get something on the ball, even if you are too old and tired to bounce it.  You know you are sixty-five when you discover that you have that dreaded furniture disease. That’s when your chest is falling into your drawers!  When you hitch up your pants so much, that at the next high-school reunion, you will be a pair of pants, with a set of ears.

Now I can finally take an application blank, the one’s that always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency. I can write in … “A Good Doctor!”  Never noticed it before, but my wife has started reading her bible more, now that we are both getting older.  Then, it dawned on me, she could be cramming for her finals.  As for me, I’m just hoping God grades on the curve.

Today my bride will get me a cake, she will poke it full to the brim with a whole lot of candles, put it on the table, lite it up and ask me to make a wish.  As I have most of what I need in life, I will just make my wish simple and sweet.  

Here it is ….

I hope the smoke detector doesn’t go off in the hallway, when I blow out all these **@@##@**@!! candles …

I really hate it, when it does that. 

This concludes today message from the person now known as “Old Fart” formerly known as “Stud Muffin.”  We now return you to your regular programming or your nap … Which-ever comes first.

Have A Great Weekend.


What folks have been reading at Creative Endeavors this week:

Home page / Archives    
Bikinis (The reason men are pigs)    
Don’t Let Life Drag You Down    
The Worry Tree     
Clear Blue Sky    
Fantasy And Reality    
Good Decorations (audio)    
Goin With The Flow    
Lawn Mowing Sucks    
Air Bag Project

August 1, 2012

Bucket List Rework

Filed under: Blogging,humor,Life,Oklahoma,Recent,Uncategorized — ldsrr91 @ 5:29 AM
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I.D. Theft Is Real … Be Careful

At the root of every grey hair, there is a dead brain cell.  Someone had to remind me, so I’m reminding you, too.   Don’t laugh…. It is all true!  Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70 or beyond.  Here are some tips for you when the world gets to be the best of thee, when life don’t come across so easily.  Twenty reasons why it is okay to get older.

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation, you are most likely to be released first. 

3. No one expects you to run … anywhere.

4. People call at 9 PM (or 9 AM) and ask,  did I wake you?

5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

7. Things you buy now … Won’t wear out.

8. You can eat supper at 4 PM.

9. You can live without sex … But not your glasses.

10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room. 

13. You sing along with elevator music and you know ALL the words to the songs.

14. Your eyes won’t get much worse.

15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off. 

16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists and can predict the weather better than the national weather service.

17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.

18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size. 

19.  You are glad you have a DVR now you can tape Jay Leno and David Letterman and sleep.

20.You can’t remember where you saw this list, but you are sure glad it was in big print.

You are not over the hill … but you can damn sure see the top of it.


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