Creative Endeavors, The Home of BoxcarOkie.com

August 1, 2012

Bucket List Rework

Filed under: Blogging,humor,Life,Oklahoma,Recent,Uncategorized — ldsrr91 @ 5:29 AM
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I.D. Theft Is Real … Be Careful

At the root of every grey hair, there is a dead brain cell.  Someone had to remind me, so I’m reminding you, too.   Don’t laugh…. It is all true!  Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70 or beyond.  Here are some tips for you when the world gets to be the best of thee, when life don’t come across so easily.  Twenty reasons why it is okay to get older.

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation, you are most likely to be released first. 

3. No one expects you to run … anywhere.

4. People call at 9 PM (or 9 AM) and ask,  did I wake you?

5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

7. Things you buy now … Won’t wear out.

8. You can eat supper at 4 PM.

9. You can live without sex … But not your glasses.

10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room. 

13. You sing along with elevator music and you know ALL the words to the songs.

14. Your eyes won’t get much worse.

15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off. 

16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists and can predict the weather better than the national weather service.

17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.

18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size. 

19.  You are glad you have a DVR now you can tape Jay Leno and David Letterman and sleep.

20.You can’t remember where you saw this list, but you are sure glad it was in big print.

You are not over the hill … but you can damn sure see the top of it.

OOO

January 12, 2011

It’s Bikini Season Somewhere

Winter storm rolled thru here this weekend, and it has snapped off cold, bitter cold.  This time of the year always has me thinking of warmer climes, Florida, The Caribbean, Phoenix or any place over 55*F.

As I don’t feel like making any more contributions to the Oil Executives Retirement Fund (Big Oil) I am surfing the net and staying home.  Found this today, if you like warm weather and smooth looking women this is eye candy for you:  Hollywood Beach Bod’s.

Always something good at ABC News.

 

Fred Smith has a problem.

Things in Batavia, Ohio are not going his way.  Fred suddenly realized that the $1,200 in cash he had been saving for his Christmas gift was missing.  Grabbing his jacket out of the closet, he found that the money, all of it, was gone.  This panicked Fred as he recalled, and all of a sudden he did not know what to do.

Fred Smith of Batavia, Ohio is not having a nice day.

A logical turn of events to Fred was to call, each and every single place that he had been in recent days.  No soap.  But God watches over us they say, and it turns out his cash was safe and sound at a little place called Walt’s Barbecue.

His waitress, Tricia Ayers had found the money in an envelope on a a table and turned it over to her boss.  Fred Smith is a lucky guy, I lost the very same amount in the parking lot of a local mall one Christmas ($1,240.00) and no one held it in safe keeping for me.

Here is another one for the books.

As a high school sophomore in 1976, Jimmy Colson brought a 1923 Peace dollar, a 1897 Morgan dollar, and a 1903 Indian head penny to school to show his friends.  But the coins were stolen that day from his locker.

Thirty-four years later, Colson found an envelope in his mailbox in Greensburg, Indiana, containing the three coins along with an anonymous apology.  It read, “Took it out of your locker some 30 years ago.”  Signed “Sorry, dumb kid.”

It would always make me wonder, who it was, their mindset at the time, and of course, I would like to tell them thanks.

You ever wonder how old a man has to be to father a child?  Well, it appears that it is possible to father a child way up there.  This morning during a lull in the festivities I found Nanu Ram Jogi, 90, world’s oldest new father .  Having a child when you are in your nineties, is proof positive that children are God’s punishment for enjoying sex!  The last thing I am going to want in my life at ninety (assuming I actually make it to ninety) is an infant.

In my case, having given this “fatherhood late in life question” some serious thought, this is what I came up with.  “If we are to have a child at this late stage in life, he or she as the case may be, will have to be born 18 years of age, as he or she as the case may be, is going to have to go to work right away.”

Here is something to look forward to in the New Year.  How about 11 new fee’s added to your airline ticket?  Did you know that the airlines are currently collecting $700 million dollars per MONTH in fee’s.  Here are a few of the new one’s they are considering.

Talking to a service rep at the counter, fee.
Changing the name on the ticket, fee.
Charging your ticket on a credit card, fee.
And my all time favorite, going to the bathroom on the aircraft, fee.

Now I hear you smirking and giggling, but it is true, I read it on the internet.

Ohhhhhh my gosh!  Facebook went viral.  The rumor that it is going to shut down, has people rushing to download their photo’s and treasures from the public medium before the March 15th deadline or as some say, “The end of the world, Species Ending Event for social networking.”  Thru it all, one thing, mystifies me.  I find it some curious that Facebook itself, has not responded to the rumor.  What it is all about.

I am now off to the kitchen to pour myself a glass of Tropicana orange juice and then I am going to sit here in my Easy Boy recliner and think more gooder thoughts about Jane Krackos and of course, warm things.

You figure it out.

OOO

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