Strangely while gone, I picked up some creepy readers. Look at these search terms I found yesterday: Sex girl, sex girls, girl sex, bengali wife boobs, photos girls, sex c string, girl sex com, transparent c string bikini, girls sexual images, sex, girl.com, sex girl in bikini … my personal favorite of course, was “bengali wife boobs.” That one rowed my boat. Continue reading
Found this in my mailbox the other day and thought I might share it with you.
As the CEO of this organization, I have resigned myself to the fact that Barrack Obama is our President and that our taxes and government fees will increase in a BIG way. To compensate for these increases, our prices would have to increase about 10%.
But, since we cannot increase our prices right now due to the dismal state of the economy, we will have to lay off sixty of our employees instead. This has really been bothering me since I believe we are family here and I didn’t know how to choose who would have to go.
So, this is what I did. I walked through our parking lots and found sixty ‘Obama’ bumper stickers on our employees’ cars and have decided these folks will be the ones to let go.
I can’t think of a more fair way to approach this . They voted for change… I gave it to them. I will see the rest of you at the annual company picnic …….
Not that I am a big fan of Obama, but there is a better letter. (There is always a better letter)
Frank walked into his new office, just as the current owner was vacating it. He exchanged pleasantries with the unlucky fellow who has just been canned and wished him well. The poor guy who was being fired, handed him three envelopes and said to him, “You are going to need these. Put them in your desk until the appropriate time.”
And then he left.
Frank placed the three envelopes in his desk and gave them little thought. Time went by and things did not go so well for Frank in the new position, and soon the boss called him to the office. Frank sat there and sweated, he was anxious, he was worried, what could it be?
At that time he remembered the envelopes.
He opened the drawer and pulled them out. They were labeled one, two and three. He put two and three back in the drawer and quickly opened envelope #1. There he found a slip of paper and written on it he saw ….. “Blame it on the economy.”
So when he went to the office to see the boss, that is what he did, he blamed everything on the rotten economy and slow business. The boss seemed okay with that, and he went back to his assigned duties. A little time goes by and then again, the dreaded phone call and the mandatory trip to the bosses office and the “how come chair?”
Again Frank reaches into the drawer and hastily grabs envelope #2, he rips it open, this time he discovers a slip of paper that reads …. “Blame it on the employee’s.” So this time, he laid it all on the employee’s and that seemed to satisfy his boss and things again, returned to normal.
Now if you are following the story, then you know that all this time things have been going downhill and of course, it erodes to a point where Frank gets called to the office. Quickly he reaches into his desk drawer to fetch the last envelope, #3 and just as quickly, rips it open, he unfolds the piece of paper and it reads … “Prepare three envelopes.”
Everyone has a story … Try this,
just to interview for a job.
Have a great weekend, we will see all of you on Monday.
Here is what folks have been reading this week at Creative Endeavors:
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Elected Officials Are Fundamentally Dishonest
To the Editor:
This letter was forwarded to Barack Obama, John Boehner, Chris Murphy, Dick Blumenthal, Elizabeth Esty, and Harry Reid
I live in Sandy Hook, CT. My family and close friends weren’t harmed on December 14. That day impacted 26 families with an indescribable, staggering pain and anguish. For most of Sandy Hook, it merely affected us with an inescapable intensity of sadness and grief.
Gun control has long been a focus of many in this country. Though I’m not knowledgeable of all the nuances of the Second Amendment, based on the Founding Fathers’ circumstances, it had far more to do with enabling the citizenry to protect themselves against tyrannical government than against local psychopaths. It is about providing a balanced firepower so when King George’s successor came knocking on your door, you could fight back. Government today is no less inclined to abuse its authority than it was then. Based on the absurd and ongoing power grab that is present day Washington, it’s as threatening as ever.
That so many of you view the NRA with its resistance to further restrictions on firearms as intransigent lunatics has far more to do with how you conduct yourselves in office than it does with the NRA’s actions.
You in public office are fundamentally dishonest people. You lead lives of deception at every turn, structuring your lives as comfortably as you can while governing with an indifference and arrogance that is absolutely maddening. When the country is reeling from financial disaster, you waste a trillion dollars on a health care bill we can’t afford and you’ve never read. You claim it’s critical because health care costs are killing this country… no they’re not, you are! You are killing this country. You endorse the ongoing slaughter of millions of unborn children and whine when terrorists are water boarded.
You can’t lecture us right in Newtown High School about not doing enough to keep our children safe, while simultaneously slaughtering the unborn. You fabricate the intense, media laden drama of the fiscal cliff and lack the courage to do anything about truly reforming the obscene gluttony of government. You know you’ll be out of office before the bill comes due… you don’t care and have no integrity nor honor.
You lie whenever and wherever you need to to move forth your agenda. Were you able, you would purge the US of guns… every last gun in the country, if you could. So please forgive Wayne LaPierre and those of us who don’t trust you as far as we can spit. You’re a dishonest lot, motivated by a distorted worldview. If mass murder prevention were truly your goal, you would welcome armed security wherever needed. It is outrageous that we protect our money with far more firepower than we protect our children.
I have never owned a gun, nor wanted to as intensely as right now. You’ll stop restricting guns when only you have them.
4 Chestnut Knoll Drive, Sandy Hook January 8, 2013
REACH OUT AND BUG SOMEONE: Went to the telephone store yesterday. I look at the kid and say, “My telephone bill is five dollars high this month, can you tell me what is going on?” he says, “Let me see your bill.” I say to him, “they don’t send me a bill, they do it all electronically.”
So we walk over to the computer and I give him all of my identification and the name of my first born male child, we are off and running. He says to me “Here it is. You had 12 photographs at .50 cent each.”
Now as our kid is really proud of his kids, and sends pictures of the youngest standing next to a trash can all of the time. Some months ago, I had this feature disabled on my phone (along with text messaging at the same time) or at least I thought I had this covered. I am not supposed to get photo’s or text, I am just supposed to get telephone calls for new storm windows, carports, septic tank pumping, miracle weight loss cures, stuff like that.
I tell him this, the nice kid, who still has lipstick on his cheek where his mother kissed him good-bye this morning.
He offers me nothing. So I say to him, “I never got any pictures, this has to be a mistake.” He says, “Let me see your phone” and he looks for the pictures that I received that are clearly not there, and this shrugs his shoulders and says, “Must be some kind of glitch.” He removes the charge and gives me a credit, which doesn’t really put anything back in my bank account, so we may or may not be done with this issue, I am not sure.
I then ask him, “How about these junk telephone calls, am I being charged for them?” and he says, “No.” I ask him, “so I am not charged for them even if they leave a message on my voice mail?” He says, “Oh that is different. If you open your voice mail and listen to the message, then you are charged for the call.”
Hmmmmm, “this means, that I am damned if I do and damned if I don’t, wouldn’t you say?”
He smiles, and says … “Yes sir. That is about it.” Nice kid, most likely will be some kind of politician one of these days.
FLY THE FRIENDLY SKIES: I live in what they call a “Fly Over State” and see a lot of aircraft in the sky. Have you ever wondered how many airliner’s are flying above this country at any one given time? The numbers are clearly amazing, it would astound you. I often look up at see the contrails in the sky and wonder where it is they are going and why so many of them are up there. Here is a link, you can check it out for yourself.
The technology of this site amazes me. Lot of interesting data can be found. I clicked on one that said it was Air Force One and I found a shot of Mr. Obama’s aircraft on its first pass over Texas, you can see it here.
EIGHTY-NINE CENT PIE: We are at the Root N Scoot, I have to buy my lottery tickets for the game on Tuesday. I don’t want to be stinkin’ rich … but I would not mind smelling bad. Anyway, this gal, all decked out to the nines in jewelry and stuff, bling-bling (I don’t know if it is real or fake, but it looks nice) walks up to the counter, lays down a .89 cent pastry. No big thing, right? Then she pulls out a credit card and pays for the pastry with the card. Now here is the rub, she walks outside and get into a Lexus SUV. What is wrong with this picture Boys n Girls? Sort of like this thing one of our readers sent to me this week:
This is kind of hard to read, here is what it says: “A woman said she noticed her purse missing from her car just before 5P.M. Sunday. The car was parked at her residence on Hornet Drive. The woman said the car had been locked, and her purse was in the back seat. the purse was valued at $400, the wallet was valued at $200, and cash in the purse was reported to be $800. Also missing were the woman’s Food Stamp Cards.”
Kind of brings a tear to your eyes, doesn’t it.
ALL TANKED UP: Subject: New gasoline coming to your gas station. Folks pay real good attention to this one. Those friendly folks at the EPA (which stands for Exxon Prostitutes, whores and a**holes) all those unelected buddies, we have in the government have come up with a new wrinkle to get you out of your car. Watch this video about E15 gas if you have a car older than 2012. There is a link to the story on Fox News, but if you go to that link, surprisingly the video and information is “missing.” Hmmmmmm? Over on Utube you can find it all.
This move by the oil companies and the government together is in your best interests. You see as we all slowly digress to a nation that produces nothing but debt, if we do not have an ample supply of doctored up gasoline (which insures our sucking off the petroleum tit for the next 100 years easily) we will not be able to deliver pizza’s to each other and get them to the house while they are still warm.
Is this statuetory rape? Or is it just a moosedemeanor?
(Stop laughing! This is serious.)
Now I am off to the tireshop. They put four new tires on my car last month to the tune of almost $700 and the right-front will not hold air for some reason. I just can hear it now … “Have you been running your car with the ignition turned on? This could affect the outcome of your final billing Mr. Smith.”
Really Bad Joke: I noted that Obama used Martin Luther Kings’ Bible on the swearing in ceremony the other day. This guy has trashed more bible parables and guidelines than any other guy in recent history. Nothing is sacred, now Kings’ bible has been thrown into the mix, instead of a treasured piece of history, it is now relegated to nothing more than another prop in this circus show.
Just In Time: Today I received my Fiscal Cliff Survival Pack from the White House. It contained a parachute, a ‘Obama Hope & Change’ bumper sticker, a ‘Bush’s Fault’ poster, a ‘Blame Boehner’ poster, a “Tax the Rich’ poster, an application for unemployment, an application for food stamps, a prayer rug, a letter of assignation of debt to my grandchildren and a machine to blow smoke up my a**. All directions were in Spanish.
Keep an eye out. Yours should arrive soon..
Not Much Better In Canada: The Alberta Department of Labor, Division of Labor Standards claimed a small rancher was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to investigate.
AGENT: I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them.
RANCHER: Well, there’s my hired hand who’s been with me for 3 years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board.
Then there’s the mentally challenged guy.
He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here.
He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night so he can cope with life. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally.
AGENT: That’s the guy I want to talk to – the mentally challenged one.
RANCHER: That would be me.
It is all in the way you think: Whew! What a relief to learn this … Ever walk into a room with some purpose in mind, only to completely forget what that purpose was? Turns out, doors themselves are to blame for these strange memory lapses. Psychologists at the University of Notre Dame have discovered that passing through a doorway triggers what’s known as an event boundary in the mind, separating one set of thoughts and memories from the next. Your brain files away the thoughts you had in the previous room and prepares a blank slate for the new locale. It’s not aging, it’s the **** door!
Thank goodness for studies like this. I had erroneously believed that my trigger was in my rear. No seriously, I would walk all the way up to the barn, stand there like some kind of lost goose, and never figure out what it was that I walked up there for. Then I would walk all the way back to the house, and sit down … And pow! It came to me! So naturally I figured my trigger was in my rear, turns out it wasn’t there at all.
The Last Word: In a recently held linguistic competition held in London attended by the best in the world, Samsundar Balgobin, a Guyanese man from Bachelors Adventure, was the clear winner with a standing ovation lasting over 5 minutes. His final question was this … How to explain the difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED in a way that is easy to understand. Some say there is no difference between “these two words”.
Here is his answer which made him receive an invitation to dine with the Queen who decided to call him after the contest. He won a trip to travel the world in style and a case of 25 year old Eldorado rum for his answer.
His astute answer: “When you marry the right woman, you are COMPLETE. And when you marry the wrong woman, you are FINISHED. When the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are COMPLETELY FINISHED!”
Hang in there … weekend is just around the corner.
Cartoon courtesy of American Progress.Org