Here we go, another slow day here at the home, just sitting around waiting on Jeopardy to come on, od’ing on Vitamin E and they won’t let us go outside because the weather is bad. Might as well write something, share a thought or two or as my wife would say …….. “What are you mumbling about?”
Today I discovered that Oklahoma City has installed some new technology at the intersections here and there around town. If you sit there for a moment or two, after the light turns green, something activates the horn on the car directly behind you.
Pretty neat, what will they think of next.
As I said, not having a lot on my plate this day, I ventured into the “Estrogen Enriched Area” of Margaret & Helen’s today, they were talking about breast feeding in public. I made a comment, and was again promptly shut down, I was this time summarily rebuked and chastened poste haste. No sense of humor over there. Just wait until we get something going on this page about overhauling the transmission of a ’56 Chevy, and they come over here, you watch and see what I tell them!
Suddenly I am made painfully aware of how a mailman must feel, when walking down the street, minding his own business, a dog charges out of the house and tries to bite him. Alas, I am the mailman of Margaret & Helen’s blogsite and didn’t even know it. Accused of “shamelessly” trying to promote my lesser blogsite. Yawn? Every time I go there, someone bites my — and the Poor Monkey Never Learns.
The Barack Obama “love-hate fest” continues and Sixty Minutes the 40 year old news program had over 25.1 million viewers last week as everyone tuned in to see the new president elect and first lady to be. I have to admit, it was kind of strange. Witnessing the president-elect’s unorthodox verbal tick, which had Mr. Obama employing grammatically correct sentences virtually every time he opened his mouth.
But Mr. Obama’s decision to use complete sentences in his public pronouncements carries with it certain risks, since after the last eight years of old you-know-who, many Americans may find his odd speaking style jarring.
And a great many Americans tuned in to see. A new record that hasn’t seen that many viewers since 1999. It has so far been the top telecast prime time slot on television this year. Bush is now so unpopular that they won’t even bother to shake his hand.
Like Frank Burns’ said on Mash …. It’s lonely at the top.
The undercurrents of the last election are still flowing deeply across the country. Lot of angry sore losers wanting to move out of the country now and talk about where they want to go to get away from all of this can be found at a lot of Internet sites.
Personally if you feel that way, it is like Dubya (Bush) is fond of saying …. “Don’t Y’all let the door hit ya, where the good lawd split ya.” (Texan for See you later) As Gregory Peck said, “It’s a Big Country” you could move to just about anywhere if you wanted to I suppose.
You can Live in California where…
- You make over $250,000 and you still can’t afford to buy a house.
- The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
- You know how to eat an artichoke.
- You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
- When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
- The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought … In leap years … Earthquake.
You can Live in New York City where…
1. You say ‘the city’ and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan
2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can’t find Wisconsin on a map.
3. You think Central Park is ‘nature’
4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual
5. You’ve worn out a car horn.
6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.
You can Live in Minnesota or Maine where..
- You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco
- Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
- You have more than one recipe for moose.
- Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
- The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and road construction.
You can Live in the Deep South where…
- You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
- ‘y’all’ is singular and ‘all y’all’ is plural.
- Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, MARY BETH, etc.
- You believe that wrestling is real
- Your idea of gun control is to hold the weapon with both hands.
- And at the drive thru, you always say “super size the fries” for the little woman.
You can live in Colorado where…
- You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
- You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at the day care center.
- A pass does not involve a football or dating.
- The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.
- A slow moving Bronco is John Elway
You can live in the Midwest where…
- You’ve never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
- Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor or a combine.
- You have had to switch from ‘heat’ to ‘A/C’ on the same day.
- You end sentences with a preposition: ‘Where’s my coat at?’
- When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, ‘It was different!’
- Where the biggest city you ever went to was WalMart.
You can live in Florida where…
- You eat dinner at 4:15 in the afternoon.
- All purchases include a coupon of some kind — even houses and cars.
- Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
- Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
- Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.
Or, you can live in Phoenix, Arizona where…..
- You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
- You’ve experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
- You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
- You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
- You know that ‘dry heat’ is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.
- The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!
Personally we can’t afford to go just yet, we are still waiting on our “second economic stimulus check from the government” once we get that, we are outta here.
Wonder if Margaret & Helen would rent me a room?
Thanks to Trish in Louisiana.
“The cartoon courtesy of Center for American Progress” (online)