Creative Endeavors, The Home of BoxcarOkie.com

March 13, 2012

They’re Gonna Love Me At The Home

Wednesday!  Hump Day for a five day a week wage slave working for min. wage in the Great State Of Oklahoma.

This new routine I have established, certainly is working in my favor.  Even all the sorry news in the headlines are not bothering me at all.  It has been nice … But every now and then you just got to WRITE SOMETHING I suppose. 

In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys. 

A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who “totally zoned when he ran”, accidentally jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run. 
 In Los Angeles they say “it is ten P.M. are the children in bed?” in Okie City, they say “It’s ten O’clock Y’all get them youngin’s tucked in.” and in Salt Lake City they say …. “Its ten P.M. does anyone know what time it is?” 

Incredible week on tap.  Things just kind of slip-by as you grow older.

When we get older we think differently, don’t we? I don’t care for the expression “Senior Citizen” being applied to me, I would of course prefer something more modern and up to date for my descriptive moniker. 

Something like …. Recycled Teenager … Yeah, I like that.  I like that okay.

This letter was sent to the Principal’s office after the school had sponsored a luncheon for the elderly. An elderly lady received a new radio at the lunch as a door prize and was writing to say thank you. This story is a credit to all humankind.

Dear Kean Elementary:

God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent senior citizens luncheon. I am 84 years old and live at the Sprenger Home for the Aged. All of my family has passed away. I am all alone now and it’s nice to know that someone is thinking of me. God bless you for your kindness to an old forgotten lady. My roommate is 95 and has always had her own radio, but before I received one, she would never let me listen to hers, even when she was napping.

The other day her radio fell off the night stand and broke into a lot of pieces. It was awful and she was in tears. Her distress over the broken radio touched me and I knew this was God’s way of answering my prayers. She asked if she could listen to mine, and I told her to kiss my a**.

Thank you for that opportunity.
Sincerely,
Agnes

One of my favorite movies was on this past weekend, The D.I. (The Drill Instructor) starring Jack Webb.  It is a classic in every sense of the word, and I am a sucker for it, every time it comes on, I sit back and watch it repeatedly, over and over.  It is the Dancin’ With Wolves of the Military affectionados.  Full Metal Jacket is another one, it was on Saturday and Sunday was the D.I. so it was a good weekend for me.

Which reminded me of this.

 A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.

“Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?”

“Negative, ma’am. Just serious by nature.”

The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, “It looks like you have seen a lot of action.”

“Yes, ma’am, a lot of action.”

The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, “You know, you should lighten up. Relax and enjoy yourself.”

The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.  Finally the young lady said, “You know, I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?”

“1955, ma’am.”

“Well, there you are. No wonder you’re so serious. You really need to chill out! I mean, no sex since 1955!  She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to “relax” him several times.  Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, “Wow, you sure didn’t forget much since 1955.”

The Sergeant Major said, after glancing at his watch, “I hope not; it’s only 2130 now.”

(Gotta love military time)

No good huh?

Okay, how about this?  This is my neighbor, she lives right up the road.

I can see her house from my living room.  I watched as she got home from work this evening. I was surprised when she walked across the street and up my driveway.  She knocked on my door…I rushed to open it.  She looks at me, and says, “I just got home, and I am so horny! I have this strong urge to have a good time tonight, I feel like I might want to get drunk, and make love all night long! Are you busy tonight?”

I immediately replied, “Nope, I’m free… I have no plans at all!”

Then she said, “Good!  In that case, could you watch my dog?

Now if you will excuse me, I have to go to Walmart and pick up these things that are evidently needed in our home, according to the list, I found on the kitchen counter this morning.  Perhaps I will get lucky and be the fourth person deep in the express line and get to guess what the people who’s credit card will not approve the sale are going to let go of (items they will have to put back so that they might leave). 

Undoubtedly, hands down, one of my favorite games to play while at WalMart, this and “where did I put my driver’s lic. it was just here the other day?

Like I said … IT’S NO FUN GETTING OLD … And they are just going to LOVE ME at the home.

OOO

Related:  Four Blue Hills  Tell Me This Won’t Happen To Us.

[#1204]

 
Cartoon courtesy of Center For American Progress Online

February 9, 2012

Red Man’s Revenge – Cashing In

It appears that the Red Man is getting even with the White Man, at least in Oklahoma he is.  We are now second in the nation for gambling casino’s, we have tax free Indian smoke shops, the lottery in just about every Root N Scoot (convenience store) and our state is alive with gambling in one form or the other. 

State revenues from Indian gaming have soared in recent years, largely due to the success of casinos operated by the Chickasaw, Choctaw and Cherokee nations.  Combined, the three tribes are responsible for 58 percent of the record $118.2 million in gaming fees paid to the state last fiscal year by 30 Indian tribes, according to records obtained from the Office of State Finance.

Now I have to wonder about something?

If you do not have to pay a tax on cigarettes sold on Indian land (sovereign nations) then why do you have to agree to sign a document on Federal Income Tax on casino wins over $1,200.00?

As far back as 1831 the courts have ruled that it had no original jurisdiction in such matters.  This was based on the fact that the Cherokee were a dependent nation, with a relationship to the United States like that of a ward to its guardian. The court ruling can be found here.

Indian casino operators also maintain their own police and/or security, they apparently are above local laws, so why are we required to pay a tribute to the Federal government (I.R.S.) when we win funds that are clearly being generated and disbursed on Indian Land (sovereign nations).  It seems to me that this money is being generated and disbursed outside the United States of America. 

From the perspective of the State, it is good news. 

It is all about the money when it comes to the State.  Oklahoma Indian tribes paid the state a record $118.2 million in gaming fees during fiscal year 2010, which ended June 30.  Indian gaming has become a huge industry in Oklahoma, with tribes generating about $2.9 billion in 2008, according to the 2009-2010 edition of Casino City’s Indian Gaming Industry Report.

Oklahoma surpassed Connecticut in 2008 to become the second leading state in Indian gaming revenues. The $2.9 billion generated here trailed only California, where Indian gaming produced $7.3 billion.  The success of tribal gaming operations and the resulting windfall to the state could not have come at a better time.

During hard times (a bad economy) income drops, the state finds itself missing revenues from many of its traditional funding sources, state officials are now using Indian gaming money to stave off some cuts in state run programs.

Education was to be the primary beneficiary of Indian gaming, some 88 percent of Indian gaming revenue are earmarked for common education funding.  The remaining 12 percent originally was slated for a state higher education scholarship program (which did not happen)  but now goes to the state’s general fund.

Using the current figures, and taking the 12% that is skimmed off the top for the pet projects of the politicians, you realize that this is some serious money.

Now for the player, it is much different.

Okies spend more on gambling than they do on gasoline or alcohol.  Countless thousands of them, young and old, from all walks of life, are “secretly but painfully addicted to the cash cow that is the Indian Casino.”

Players walk up to these slot machines, insert their players card in the slot, and begin losing over and over again, but despite this, Indian gaming continues to not only survive, but grow in our state.

Why do the players continue against such great odds?

Is it for the money, the rush, what is it that compels people to lay down hard earned bucks in tight times, to these machines that are clearly engineered to hold back the highest percentage in their favor?  It seems to be, for me, the item known as the “feature.”  That one in a million chance of lining up all three emblems or symbols on the middle line.  That one elusive thing, that no matter how much you play, you never see.  I suppose that is what makes it so enticing.

The high of getting the feature impels some of us to play for hours, losing hundreds of dollars to win maybe twenty dollars in the end.  Ask any slot player if they have ever lived that scenario and they will shake their head and respond, “over and over, everyday.” 

The feature is to a slot player what caffeine is to coffee.

At least in Missouri they have a daily limit on players, you can only play to a limit of $400 and then your card (a players card that is required to play) will no longer work.  I suppose there are ways around this, if so, I am not familiar with them.

Recently after a huge public outcry on the paltry payouts on slot machines in Oklahoma, the state informed the Indians to “reset the machines for a more reasonable payout geared toward the gamblers” (slowing down the spins on the machines, limiting the bets to $1 or increasing jackpots) or pay a huge multimillion dollar fine.  The Indians in turn said, “Okay, paid the fine, and went back to business as usual.”

Why not?  They have us right where they want us, and all the government in the world aint going to change that one nickel.  Why should they, it is working just fine for them too, and it is all legal.

Unfortunately for the player, that doesn’t make it right.

OOO

[1172]

November 26, 2011

Winner and Losers

Filed under: Life,Oklahoma — ldsrr91 @ 5:30 PM
Tags: , , , , ,

This morning I am watching the news (I seldom do this) because I was curious as to how this Black Friday Thing went down.  It was kind of disheartening, almost to the point of downright revolting. 

Seeing all of these people pushing and shoving to get inside a store to buy the latest, the newest, the best of the rest, well it was just was a sorry spectacle of events.  Fistfights, people pushing and shoving like animals, arrests and pepper spray … Attention WalMart shoppers evacuate the building!

It is my understanding that the retailers are going to have a beneficial reward from all of this, increased sales and more money in the till.  But to me, a casual observer it made me ashamed I was an American, almost to the point of wishing I was not a member of the human race, a proud species with opposing thumbs. 

If this is the best we have to offer, then maybe it is time to stop the bus and let me off.

It is getting hard, dog-gone hard to find a winner any more.  I set out on my daily trek across CyberLand and found this one from Blogging:  Why I Don’t Worry About People Subscribing To My Blog 11-26-2011

“Subscribing to even one blog, that updates frequently, is like signing up to get spam. It’s spam you presumably want, thus it’s not technically considered spam. But in terms of quantity and value, it winds up having the same (lack of) appeal. And since I don’t care to use feeds, changing my subscriptions to that option is pointless.”

What this author doesn’t seem to understand is this.  You have four basic types of readers on the Internet.  Those who love your stuff, those who pay no attention to your stuff, and those who detest your stuff, and those who send you surly emails to prove it.  Couldn’t be farther from the point, subscribing keeps you on top of what other people are doing and that is what we are all about.  A man wrapped up in himself (his own blog) makes for a pretty small package on most days.

By the way, this blog had “3 subscriptions” so I don’t think they will have to worry about it with content like this.

Sitting in my old trusty comfortable leather chair, the television barks out, “Man wins the lottery seven times!  Tune in after the break to find out his secret.”  I just love it when they “dumb us down like that.”  Turns out that he did NOT win the lottery seven times, he has in the past won large sums of money playing LOTTERY GAMES but he never won the lottery.  You see, the biggest payout he had was $824,000 and as we all know, the lottery (if you are the winner) pays out in the “millions of dollars” so it is safe to say, he never won the lottery.

His winning strategy?

Set a budget to play the lottery (yes, he actually said this) and do not use the grocery money.  Play ONE GAME only (Scratch off tickets) and stick with that game (note:  scratch off tickets, are usually huge losers most of the time) and NEVER use quick picks (note: the largest percentage of lottery winners, are from quick picks).  He also went on to say “I drive a big fancy car, live in a huge wonderful house, have plenty of money and we take a lot of cruises.”  So what do you think he is going to want to talk about, when he plops down next to you on the promenade deck, and unfolds his deck chair?

Nope, it is not working here, dear old late breaking, live on five … I am not taking this advice to the bank.

Speaking of banks?  (Nice blend eh?  Yeah I know, on some days I just cannot help it, just a natural flow to it)  Speaking of banks?  A hooded robber burst into a Texas bank and forced the tellers to load a sack full of cash.

On his way out the door, a brave Texas customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off revealing the robbers face.

The robber shot the customer without a moment’s hesitation. He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight at him. The robber instantly shot him also.  Everyone in the bank, by now very scared, looked intently down at the floor in silence.

The robber yelled, “Well did anyone else see my face?”

There are a few moments of utter silence in which everyone was plainly too afraid to speak. Then one old cowboy named Bill from Oklahoma slowly raised hand and said, “I think my wife got a pretty good look at ya.”

Winners and Losers, Black Friday, life such as it is this day. 

I am going to keep putting out my Spam and hope that some find it interesting enough to cop a subscription because that is what the wordpress community is all about … sharing. 

I am going to keep playing the Lottery, I don’t want to be stinkin rich, but I would not mind smelling bad. 

Best Buy has NOTHING I am willing to spend the night sleeping on concrete for. 

Money-Money-Money … It’s the new American Dream

Not real sure which category that puts me in, but rest assured, whatever it is, I can live with it. I am fairly confident at this point in the game, that I know which side of the bread the butter is on. 

OOO

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