Creative Endeavors, The Home of BoxcarOkie.com

July 20, 2012

Bad Spellers Of The World Untie!

Filed under: Blogging,Life,Oklahoma,Recent — ldsrr91 @ 7:14 AM
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“I don’t understand how you can figure out all this computer stuff like you do.  You have got all this techno stuff up the wahzoo.”

Hello folks, here is another scathing indictment of the public education system, another post from Mr. Language Person.  Recently I got bagged on a mispelling of a word (potpourri) and I thought it might be a good idea to post the most 25 misspelled words in the English language.  Courtesy, of Bryan A. Garner, here’s a list of 25 of the most commonly misspelled words in the English language.

  • accommodate
  • committee
  • consensus
  • definitely
  • embarrass
  • expedite
  • grammar
  • harass
  • hors d’oeuvre
  • innovate
  • inoculate
  • lieu
  • millennium
  • minuscule
  • misspelling
  • noticeable
  • occurrence
  • pavilion
  • persevere
  • playwright
  • receive
  • restaurateur
  • separate
  • supersede
  • ukulele

Commit these to memory, and should you ever find yourself needing to accommodate a ukulele player who wishes to receive an inoculation from a playwright while persevering at his art in a pavilion, you’ll be spared the embarrassment of making any innovative misspellings, whether minuscule or easily noticeable.

Just yesterday, Billy Ray Littler said to me, “I don’t understand how you can figure out all this computer stuff like you do.  You have got all this techno stuff up the wahzoo.”

Now there is a word for you … Whazoo.

Wonder where that one came from?

As always … Sending our very best is the least we can do.

OOO

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December 28, 2011

Racist Okie

Filed under: Blogging,Life,Oklahoma,other — ldsrr91 @ 6:08 AM
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Got into what you might call a “spirited conversation” with one of my neighbors.  He seems to think I am racist because I want people to speak English and I don’t think they should be given a driver’s lic. if they cannot speak English or at the very least, be able to read the language.

Because of this disagreement, he tags me a racist, which I don’t think is fair.

Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream ‘racism’ these days.

 So, the customer asked, “In what aisle could I find the Polish sausage?”  The clerk looks at him and says, “Are you Polish?”  The guy (clearly offended) says, “Well, yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I had asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian?

Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or if I had asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican?’  If I asked for some Irish whiskey, would you ask if I was Irish?”



The clerk says, “Well, no, I probably wouldn’t!”



With deep self-righteous indignation, the guy says, “Well then, 
why did you ask me if I’m Polish because I asked for Polish sausage?”

The clerk replied, “It’s because you’re in Home Depot.”

Guess it is all in the way you look at things?  I wear quite a few hats, I have been tagged more than once for my views, but racist, I am not.  Oh well, no use diggin’ up a dead-horse to see if it smells bad, let us move on.

I note this morning that everyone seems to be working on New Year’s Resolutions, and writing all about it, the self-appointed Guru’s of the Internet, once again, have it all figured it out.  Some of us who have been around for awhile, can almost see it coming.

There is the Christmas thing.  And then The New Year’s Thing.  The Resolution thing and it goes on and on, almost to the point of being unstoppable.  Might ought to assign it a season of the year, we could call it the “Wordpress.com Silly Season.”

Yeah, that might work.

As for right now, or at least the next four or five days, it is pretty well defined and expected when you come online.  It is all about time.  How much you have left is anyone’s guess, how much of it that is used up is another question, what remains is to be seen  … Use it or lose it is what my Daddy used to say.

2012 is rapidly approaching and is on the horizon as 2011 much like a tired old soldier, slowly fades away.

As for myself, I only make one resolution per year, it is the same old thing year after year.

What is it you ask?

It is this:  “Every year at the beginning of each New Year I make one resolution … to NOT make any resolutions.” 

Sure takes off a lot of the pressure … and I am again “at peace with the world.”

Yeah, sure.

Come on by tomorrow and we will talk about being melancholy and sad at Christmas and the loneliest whale in the world.

OOO

October 19, 2010

Cat House Tuesday

Filed under: Oklahoma,random,Uncategorized — ldsrr91 @ 4:08 AM
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This morning while browsing around I stumbled upon this article from overseas. As I often feel it is my public duty, my overwhelming desire to print the news that is fit to print, or causes fits in print, or something like that? I decided to share it with all of you, b’sides it is a slow day on the old goat farm here in El Reno, Oklahoma.

Taiwan’s government plans to allow sex workers to set up small businesses in the latest change to laws that had once forced the huge industry underground, the interior ministry said.

In a statement on its website, the ministry said it would consider brothels of three to five staff away from areas frequented by children. It will put plans to a cabinet committee by the end of the year.

The complete article can be found here.

Nothing out of the ordinary here, unless you look close.  In the first paragraph you will find it, the word “Sex Worker.”  This is what caught my eye while reading the article.  I wondered, “Is this some kind of new on the job training I was hopelessly unaware of?”

It also made me consider how it is that we sanitize everything in our world, to make it neat and circumspect.  How we take or use the language and shift it around, take away from it, make it fit our norm.

Sex worker is a good example, used to be this was referred to as a prostitute, street walker, a hooker, a whore.  Now we have made it legitimate sounding by calling the professional on the job,  a sex worker.

Even the place that the “sex worker” was employed, got changed.  It was first called a brothel, then someone renamed it a “Cat House.”  Which is kind of strange, because I have it on good authority that there are no sandboxes located at these locations.

Same with the word adultery, now it is called an affair, makes it sound almost nice.  Not the ugly thing that destroys families, wrecks marriages and ruins lives.  Frank had an affair and he and Nancy split up …

Gay is the new homosexual, but that really is old hat, it has after all, been that for quite sometime now.  How about abortion, that is now referred to as “Lifestyle change” or ” Life choice.”  It is murder of the unborn, plain and simple, but we choose to modify and change it.

Our language landscape is littered with phrases and expressions that mask the truth, even the military uses them, collateral damage, friendly fire, etc, etc.  And if you are shopping around for creative expressions, you don’t have to look far to find them.  Just type in the word U.S. Government. Com and that should get you started right away.  They are the real pro’s in all this.

It is quite apparent that we try our level best to knock it down to a level that makes it much easier for us to live with.  The atrocities committed against the Jewish people in Europe during World War II were so terrible that there was no word to describe it.  So they invented a new word just for this purpose, it was called Genocide.  Now days, that too has been sanitized, it is now called “Ethic Cleansing.”

Want to add to the mix?  Comments section is below, feel free to give us your take on any or part of all of  it.  Sex Worker?  It is a good thing that this word doesn’t apply to me … I would be unemployed for sure.  Like my Mama was fond of saying when I was a small lad … What will they dream up next?

Has to make you wonder, huh?
OOO

June 24, 2009

Turning Myself Around

Filed under: Oklahoma,Recent — ldsrr91 @ 5:12 AM
Tags: , , , , , ,

The sign read, “Gas $2.21 per gallon” so I thought to myself, “that sure is cheap, I am gonna get some of that.”  Isn’t that sad, I mean, I have reached a point in life, where I conceive $2.21 per gallon as “cheap.”  I don’t know what is wrong with me, like Pavlov’s dogs, I have been conditioned to believe that they are giving me a good deal.

I need to grow a pair, and get back to bitching, I have become too complacent.

Turned on the tube and the weatherman is predicting, how was it he put it?   Oh yeah, “the Metroplex are may be experiencing some mild severe weather today.”  I don’t know what a Metroplex might be, I live in a city, and how do you get “mild severe” weather?  I get a kick out of the media news people and how they pump things up to make them sound so important, when in fact, “they have nothing.”

  • He was shot by an “Uninvited guest” and then rushed to the hospital.
  • Homeless people are “highly depressed” which is what researchers have found.
  • The following is a “live recording” of the facts.
  • Here is Mark with our “authentic reproduction” of what happened.
  • Today a new race of people, who live inside the earth, were discovered, when one of them came to the surface to go to China-Mart to buy a sun lamp.

Mmmmmmm, coffee is good this morning, fresh pot, you should be here, or in the interest of “good mental health” perhaps it would be safer to be somewhere else.

You make the call.

That is another one, you go to my buddy’s house and he will ask you, “want some coffee?”  Which always strikes me as funny, as I have coffee at home, why would he offer me some?  We are a funny bunch aren’t we?  My father used to say to me, “straighten up and fly right or I am going to read you the riot act.”

Being a young man, I was always hoping for something better, like “The Gentleman’s Guide to French Kissing” or something like that, when you are a teenager, you don’t want anyone reading any kind of act to you.

Man, that takes the cake.  Where did that one come from?  Where do you take a cake?  How come it is not “that takes the pie?” which we all know is easier to carry than a cake, which would be a “piece of cake.”

Huh?

Been a target rich environment for word games this week, here is a mid week ditty for you.  “To go inside yourself, you must empty your mind and clear your head.”  More psycho-babble from Channel Five, I won’t say who, but he is almost completely bald, used to live in Texas, his wife is named after a bird, and he is often full of it.

Which reminds me.  That is like the expression, “the guy was completely beside himself.”  How do you get “beside” yo’self, and they thought Ebonics was weird?

Time to go, remember the only thing which isn’t up for grabs is no change, and I think it is fair to say, it is all to play for, except for no change.  And finally, in closing, remember that you are never ever completely alone; whether you are inside or beside yourself.  When it gets down to the nitty gritty, in the end, you will always have yourself.

Got that?

So goes Wednesday 6-24-09, Hump Day for a five day a week, minimum wage slave in Oklahoma, hang in there, you almost have it made.  If none of this is working for you, I guess you will just have to get inside yo’self, and clear your head.  I have done all I truthfully feel I can do this day …

Like the folks over at RosettaStone say …. “One day, his son would speak to the world, and he wanted them to understand.” Alas …. Parting is such sweet sorrow, but it is time for me to slink off and “grow a pair” or find some other constructive avenue of thought to while away my day.

OOO

June 9, 2009

Television for the Insane

Filed under: humor,Oklahoma,Recent — ldsrr91 @ 5:06 AM
Tags: , ,

A little of this and a Little of that

An item on The View or The Ladies Channel, I forget, on how Kirstie Alley lost 75 pounds, it was incorrectly stated that she “ate … twenty six, seven, eight thousand calories a day.” The correct figures are six, seven eight thousand calories a day.  I have personally lost 13 lbs in recent weeks, but it was because I was sick, not because I was dieting.  My doctor now informs me that I am my perfect weight for a person who is seven feet tall.

So I switch over to the “sports channel” which is a total waste of programming if you want my opinion, and I would bet the majority of you never expected to hear a man say that.  On there I find this “The most important thing about batting is getting the bat to hit the ball.”

Yeah right, for this moderators or commentators are paid millions per year?

I just love surfing the dial where you pick up all those little gems that help you make it thru the day contributed by sports personalities.  Such as:  “Chemistry is a class you take in high school or college where you figure out 2+2=10 or something.” Which was recently coughed up by Dennis Rodman basketball player.

How about this great political geopolitical insight from Donald Trump:  “You know, the one thing I sorta liked was what they were saying about Iran.  I believe you have to go in and strike Iran … not with soldiers.  You know, it’s not a world of soldiers anymore.  It’s a world of air.  It’s a world of different kinds of, you know, we’ve changed.”

Uh huh, wonder why we have “soldiers” in roughly 147 countries around the world?  You’re fired.  Where is Paula Abdul when you really need her?

Mr. Obama just appointed a new Supreme Court justice, let us hope that she is better than Justice Clarence Thomas, at a lecture to Holy Cross College in 2002 he said:  “I really don’t want to be a judge.  I don’t want to be judged.  I don’t like judging other people.” In the words of Judge Judy of television fame … “You sir!  Are an idiot.”

(no reflection on any judge living or dead, lawyers said to put that in there, so I did)

Another note on the ladies of government.  “She’s either Puerto Rican, or the same thing as Cuban, I mean they are all very hot.  The have the, you know, part of the black blood in them and part of the Latino blood in them that together makes it.” California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, on California assemblywoman Bonnie Garcia, the lone Latino Republican in the legislature.

Tuesday’s suck.

There I said it and I feel better because of it.  Sign of the week, which is ironic, because we are only two days into the week, oh well …. Never fails me how people take the English Language and mix it up to a point where to most people it is just about inane.  I wonder if they do this in other countries?  “You are invite to visit our restaurant where you can eat the Middle East Foods in a European ambulance.”

Mmmmmm, sounds yummy.

Sinuous:  Adjective of a serpentine or wavy form:  winding, marked by strong lithe movements, intricate or complex.  The hikers followed a sinuous path that curved around a lake and between two small hills.  If you are from the deep south it is “Hey honey can you get me another beer sinuous was going that way?”

Then there is the MTV channel where even the language in itself doesn’t make sense at all.

Take the word “Yo.

When followed by an apostrophe (yo’) a contraction of “you” or “your.”  How’s yo’ momma?  An informal address or title to one whose name is not known’ can be used as an interrogative address.  Hey, you!  What up, yo?  A declarative or imperative exclamation, whether alone within a sentence.

Yo!  What the hell do you think you are doing?  It’s Tuesday, nothing happen’ here, yo, do your job.  So ends today’s language lesson from Mr. English Person, tune into our page tomorrow where we will delve deep into modifiers, perhaps take a shot at popular euphemisms of modern day society.

I’ma now send you cryin’ to yo’ mama after I mess you up.

Word life!

What up with dat yo?

OOO

May 21, 2009

Call It What It Is

Filed under: Oklahoma,Recent — ldsrr91 @ 4:42 AM
Tags: , , , , , ,

pigVentured out yesterday for some stamps at the Post Office, did not see anyone wearing a mask over their face, so I assume the swine flu pandemic scare is officially over.

Which is a good thing, especially for me, because I love BLT’s (bacon, lettuce, and tomato) sandwiches.  I would absolutely hate to see anything conflict with that part of my life.  No more trips to the Cracker Barrel for me, and that would create a hole in my world you could drive a bus through.

So today, this morning, let us develop a healthy curiosity in the world of pigs, swine creatures of media fame here of late.

Drive through the Oklahoma Panhandle and you will see it dotted with shiny tin roofs, new hog barns, there is a huge profit in the raising and caring for of hogs.  But there are also drawbacks.  Hogs are nasty, they produce about 8 times the waste of a human each day, they take an ocean of water to clean them up and all hog farms have huge water retention ponds to collect their waste.  Potential breeding grounds for all the little ugly things that attack us and make us sick.

Eventually all this nasty bio-waste makes it thru the food chain to you.

Here’s the connection: if a commercial flight is a prime breeding ground for airborne infectious disease, consider the digs of modern hogs. Concentrated Animal Feeding Operations (CAFOs), also known as factory farms, bring together tens of thousands of animals in quarters that make a sold-out 747 look spacious. Keeping a cap on disease in such conditions has risen to a sort of macabre art form involving the use of antibiotics (including the “non-therapeutic” use, which means that they feed the animals antibiotics as a preventative measure) to ward off the infectious diseases you might expect to thrive in such a place.

This practice has been linked to the spread of drug-resistant MRSA bacteria, but is not likely the cause of the influenza outbreak. Manure lagoons, the gigantic receptors for the millions of gallons of excrement expelled by the thousands of animals, may be the more likely culprit.

All of this beside being an obvious health nightmare presents a public relations nightmare for the hog farmer.  I suppose hog farmers and pork producers would prefer we call it something else, other than swine flu.  Perhaps it would be better to use the scientific name, A(H1N1) 2009 but that just seems so benign, no ring in that, where is the snap, where is the crackle and pop?

We seem to gravitate towards the outrageous, the completely insane in this country when it comes to descriptive metaphors.  Calling this Swine Flu just doesn’t seem appropriate.

Look at the auto companies and the banks for instance.  We use terms such as financial meltdown, bailout, huge losses, bankruptcy and other insidious terms that reek of socialism, “nationalism” comes readily to mind here.  All of them basically negative in nature.

So we change it up, we refresh the negative and we call it something else.  We say “unexpected profit inversion” or “asset augmentation” or “new and unique profit-partner partnerships between the private sector and the government.”

Like our now long gone moose gooser from Alaska would say … “We continue to put lipstick on the pig” and call it everything other than what it really might be.  There is an old expression that goes something like this:  “You can try and teach a pig to sing, but it will not work, and all you do is irritate the pig.”  Call it what it is, and stop renaming all of this stuff.

We are good at this, we have after all, have been transferring blame and changing the language for years.  Adultery … An affair.  Abortion … Lifestyle choice.  Genocide … Ethnic Cleansing.  We do it all the time; a housewife is no longer a housewife, she is a domestic engineer.  Used Car Salesman … Finance Specialist and the list goes on and on infinitum.  A four door hoopie from Ford or General Motors is now a “sports sedan” … Television evolved to wireless cable …. which is pretty stupid really and then there is … Mercy Killing.

That one I do not understand at all.  But I am usually a little slow on the uptake anyway.

Sadly one rule of life is …. “What you practice the most, is what you will become.”  As long as we continue “to shade the truth” and not face it, we will have problems in this country.

The worst of it all, was not here nor was it in Israel, where they steadfast refused to call it swine flu for religious reasons, but in Afghanistan where they moved the only pig in the Kabul Zoo into a locked room out of fear of swine flu.  Now that was some progressive thinking there, that saved a lot of lives no doubt.

Have to go now, I am off to check out this latest email rumor I received yesterday.  It concerns a woman who left her two-year old son at a day care center yesterday morning in Seattle, and when she returned to pick him up in the afternoon he was completely grown!

Day care officials are crediting the Obama hot lunch program.

Me?  I am not buying it.

OOO

November 21, 2008

Only In America

pig

My wife is Chinese, she was born in Taipei, Taiwan and moved to the United States in 1973.  When she came to this country she did NOT speak one word of English.  She spoke what I called “Pigeon English” a word here and there, this and that, but nothing that was fluent.  She learned English the hard way, sitting in the living room and watching Sesame Street with our boys, Big Bird and the Letters.

Over the years she has become quite fluent in the language, she taught herself to read, learned “Hooked on Phonics” and has computer programs to hone and increase her word skills.  She speaks a total of five different dialectics.

In other words, “she knows Karate and a whole bunch of other Chinese words! I am immensely proud of her … Like the commercials are fond of saying …. “Baby, you’ve come a long ways.”  By the way, she says “English is easy … You just make it up as you go along!

So don’t give me this guff about Mexicans not being able to pick it up, or some Cuban that has lived in Miami for 25 years and needs an interrupter on the news in order to be understood.  It is all crap, if you want to live in this country, and you want to blend in, you learn English.

It is not our problem because you are too lazy to try and we should not have to print it up for you so you can get by.  Now I realize this isn’t making me any friends, but hear me out.

Cup Cake is also a U.S. Naturalized Citizen and she votes.  She went through the entire process, history, politics’, took the test, swore the oath and was indoctrinated into the American way of life, and the day we went down and watched her swear in, was one of the best days of my life.

Many a night we spent at the kitchen table with the books, learning what it is to be an American.  The Constitution The Legislative Branch, Congress, the fifty-states … All of it, one day at a time.

On one family vacation years ago, we found ourselves in San Francisco, California.  Before the oil whores shut us down we were able to take the boys and leave Oklahoma during the summer and show them the finer things in America.  One summer we were in San Francisco, and we spent the afternoon in Golden Gate Park.  They have a fantastic zoo there, aquarium, Japanese Tea Garden; you can get lost there, spend the entire day and never see it all.

As it is with most families around lunch time we started to get hungry.

I spied a Hot Dog stand and suggested that we all get a dog and some cokes.  We trotted over there, and when we got up to the stand I noticed a “oriental looking” guy behind the counter who appeared to be in charge.  Cup Cake looked up at him and in English said, “We would like four hot dogs and three cokes, one Dr. Pepper.”

Then something I consider very strange happened.

The operator of the hot dog stand (what we refer privately refer to as “cousins”) said to her in Chinese … ##@#!~%%*# (I don’t speak Chinese sorry) … and repeated the order back to her in that language.  So Cup Cake said back to him, in English, “Yes, three dogs, three cokes, and one Dr. Pepper.”

Again the cousin says to her ##@#!~%%*#- ##@#!- and she says, “Yeah right, everything on them.”  He then says, ##@#!~%%*# she again, answers in English.  The order is then filled; we retire to a couple of benches to enjoy our lunch.  While we are sitting there I look at her and say, “Baby, can I ask you something?

So she says to me, “Yeah?

I noticed when you were ordering all that, and the cousin answered you in Chinese, you always answered him back in English.  Why did you do that?

She smiled that smile that I have grown very accustomed to and said, “This is America, WE speak English, he can speak English too.

Home grown and proud, that’s my girl.  Believe it or not … You have a choice in the matter.  It is still fashionable to be an American in this country.  Just ask my wife, she’ll gladly tell you.

Only In America

000

October 14, 2008

Cause and Effect

Isn’t it funny how the “language” is always changing, slowly and often un-noticed, the things that we considered “standard” are no longer around. Replaced while we were not looking. Lately I have been hung up on this language thing so I thought I might devote a little time to it this morning.

Often I will keep a notepad next to the chair in the living room, when I hear them I write them down. Things like “New and Improved” and all this other clutter we are forced to deal with on a daily basis. Here are a few for your morning coffee:

  • Auto Mechanic – Service Technician
  • Washington D.C. – where insignificant individuals trespass on a nation’s time.
  • Auto Salesman – Finance Specialist
  • Housewife – Domestic Engineer
  • Military Intelligence – S.N.A.F.U.
  • Unemployment – Democracy’s way of getting you to plant a garden.
  • Used Car – Program Car
  • SEX – The most awful filthy thing on earth that we save for someone we love.
  • Pre-Owned – Wore out.
  • Bail Out – Charity for the rich
  • National Secrecy – The beginning of tyranny.
  • United States – A nation of badly written laws, seldom enforced.
  • Dead Civilians – Collateral Damage
  • Boomer Sooner – Brain Dead.
  • Some Discomfort – Explosive Diarrhea
  • Same As Cash – Not Quite.
  • Assembles in minutes – Call a professional.
  • Sudden Side Effects – Death.
  • Vasectomy – Never having to say you’re sorry
  • Universal Fit – Won’t work, won’t fit.
  • H.M.O. – Hand Over Your Money Or Die
  • Second place – The first loser.
  • Market Rally – You lost.
  • Low Blood Sugar – Sicker than a dog.
  • Easy Payments – Financial slavery
  • Wordsmith – The assault of thoughts on the unthinking
  • Romance – The glamor which turns the dust of everyday life into a golden haze.
  • Reality – The leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.

Then we get into the Politically Correct Arena.

B.C. it means “before Christ” in most circles denoting dates before what’s commonly accepted as the year Christ was born. In academic circles, B.C. has been replaced with the more politically correct B.C.E., or “Before Common Era.”

A.D. it stands for Anno Domini, Latin for “in the year of our Lord.” It is used to denote time after the birth of Christ. The more politically correct term now used is C.E., for “Common Era.”

C-SPAN it stands for Cable Satellite Public Affairs Network. C-SPAN broadcasts mostly House of Representatives and Senate sessions. It is a television network for morons, given by morons, to morons.

TEN WORDS WOMEN USE

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means at least a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word, but is rather, a nonverbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing.   (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wan ts to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here – This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ – that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all.  DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’ … that will bring on a ‘whatever’).

(8) Whatever: Is a women’s way of saying ____ YOU!

(9) Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to # 3.

(10) Nut-Huh. What my five year old granddaughter uses to emphazize … “No!  No Way!  Not Now Grandpa!  It isn’t gonna happen.”

They evidently learn early in Oklahoma.

Tomorrow, five entertainers who had airports named after them. Six stars who took karate lessons from Chuck Norris. Why George Bush never wears a name tag at High School Reunions.

000


October 11, 2008

Talkin’ The Talk

"Yeah no joke, it was there one minute and then whoosh it was gone!"

“Yeah no joke, it was there one minute, and then whoosh, it was all gone!”

Turned on the television and there was my favorite Texas Waddie explaining to the American people the current economic mess we seem to find ourselves immersed in. “We currently have a shortage of some $2.5 trillion dollars in the Wall Street Market, and gosh, uh gee whill-ickers, we just don’t know where it went?”

It is not easy being the President of Ameri-kuh. Once again … Proof positive, you can take the boy out of the country, but you cannot take the country out of the boy.

Where he gets this stuff is anyone’s guess. It reminds me of the story where the old man and woman are sitting in the kitchen and the kid comes home from college for the holidays. The old man looks at the boy and says, “Son, give me and your mama some of the benefits of that there Kollege edumaycayshun you been getting.”

So the boy thinks a little bit and then replies, “Eisenstein is quoted as saying pi is square.” The old man looks at the woman and says, “See, I told you it was a waste of time sending him to kollege, corn bread are square … pie is round!”

Education has taken a backseat to a lot of things in this country. It doesn’t seem all that important, and this will come back to haunt us, it is a tragic mistake.

Not long ago, someone sponsored a bill to make English the national language in this country, but it didn’t make it thru Congress. Recently in Oklahoma and several other states similar legislation was attempted and failed, trying to accomplish the very same goal.

Then later on, someone in Oakland, California suggested that “Ebonics” might be good for grade school children, which was a street based version of slang communication. It is currently being used quite a bit on Rap CD’s, Hip-Hop music and has enjoyed wide circulation on MTV.

Me?

I just butcher it up to the best of my abilities and keep right on trucking most of the time. English, I confess, has not always been my strongest suite. Communication is my strongest attribute, I am a pretty good story teller and I use any and all forms to do this in an effective manner.

And then you come across the people who just flat out, do not know how to put it (the language) to good use and effectively communicate in our culture. Here is a prime example that I found this morning surfing the net:

“What is your education for, anyway?” blogging on this site is wreched ok so i have tried to post like 2 time already(that would make this my third attempt) and i’m just going to throw this out there i don’t get blogging. like it doesn’t make sence why cant we all get together and have a conversation, or atleast chat over scype…i understand that this has the advantage of anyone being able to chime in at an time but i can never rember to come on and then when i do it like never gets posted!!!! AHHH

This (the text above) was lifted in its entirety and has not been corrected. I like the header … “What is your education for, anyway?”Uh … Better living thru chemistry?

It is also pretty frightening when you stop to consider it was written (according to the blog author) on a college students’ site. Unfortunately, he is not the exception to the rule, but more so, the norm in this country.

It is no wonder that this country is slowly going to hell in a hand basket.

Seven out of ten sixth-graders believe Pearl Harbor was some woman who used to sing country music tunes. They know who “Beavis & Butt-head” are, but cannot identify the Vice President of the United States, tell you the capitol of Kansas, really don’t know ho to make change for a twenty, other than from your hand to theirs and that is about it.

Recently I read a survey that said 63% of high school seniors move their lips when they read and this I suppose the survey doesn’t even include the ones who cannot read a lick to begin with. Our kids are in the fast lane to Moronville because there is not enough discipline in the classrooms.

Remember those late, great school house days of yesteryear, when hard-a** teachers would slap the fire out of a kid just for the fun of it. Some would say that is what we need more of today. I am not all that big on discipline, having received my fair share of it as a child. But we do need one thing for sure:

What we need is compulsory learning AND discipline.

When all those bleeding-heart liberals banned paddles from the classroom, we might as well have locked the school house doors. When you can get 75 days in the county jail for spanking your own kid for skipping school, then you might as well hang it up. Maybe we need to get back to the “Old Days” for a brief period, and make a necessary course correction for our country.

This why we end up with college students who write:

“Who needs school? Why reads a book, when you can see the movie, stay in an plays Nintendo. Why graduate, when you can sell crack and ride in’s a limo?”

And a sitting Lame Duck U.S. President that says:

Reading is the basics for all learning. Put food on your family. The senator cannot have it both ways. He can’t take the high horse and then claim the low road. Never squat down with your spurs on.”

Not being an expert in language like I said, I don’t believe the above is exactly correct, politically speaking or otherwise.

Two Point Five Trillion dollars  … That is a lot of bucks, wonder where it went?  C’mon Dubyah, give us some good news, tell us something we don’t know.

000

Related: The Old Days

Parting shot: “It is important for parents to live the same things they teach.”

October 10, 2008

Big Bad John (video)

I understand that they have called off Halloween and Thanksgiving in the Nation’s capitol this year. Something about the witch going to New York and taking the turkey with her? But I am not sure. It is going to be awfully difficult to see anything to be Thankful for this year.

Last night at the end of the news, the anchorman actually “apologized for all the bad news here lately, and suggested that we all watch the Thursday edition of Saturday Night Live” as if that was going to be the panacea we all need.

McSame and Palin have been caught in another “gaff” isn’t that what they are calling a lie these days? A political gaff, strange term. But then again, America is full of strange terms here lately. Downsizing, you find yourself unemployed. Market shift, your 401K plan is now worthless. Lifestyle choice, abortion. Ethnic Cleansing, Murder. An affair, adultery. Bail out, Government charity for the rich.

We seem to take everything and “sanitize it to suite our needs” and it doesn’t matter if it is the truth or a lie, as long as we get it out there.

Over and over these people have been caught in “half-truths” as the media calls them, and no one seems willing to take them to task. Back in the old days, Grandma would have you chowing down on a bar of soap, but that isn’t happening anymore in America.

McSame touted ‘Energy Expert’ Palin’s credentials by falsely claiming she delivered a gas pipeline.  Last night on Fox News, host Sean Hannity interviewed McSame and Yummy Mummy and asked McSame what her role would be in his administration. McSame said Yummy Mummy would bring him warm milk at bedtime and …. No that it not right.

Remember, laughter is God’s sunshine!

He said that she would be useful on energy issues — presumably because, as he has said before, “she knows more about energy than probably anyone else” in the U.S. And if frogs had wings, they wouldn’t bump their butts when they hopped.

As evidence, McCain claimed on FOX News, that Palin “was responsible for…a pipeline, the $40 billion pipeline bringing natural gas from Alaska down to the lower 48.” Watch it: In fact, there is no $40 billion dollar pipeline from Alaska bringing natural gas to the lower 48 states. As the New York Times explained last month, “the pipeline exists only on paper” — And of course in the collective minds of politicians that are so far out in right field, they don’t even know the game is over and it is time to come on in.

The first section has yet to be laid, federal approvals are years away and the pipeline will not be completed for at least a decade. In fact, although it is the centerpiece of Ms. Palin’s relatively brief record as governor, the pipeline might never be built, and under a worst-case scenario, the state could lose up to $500 million it committed to defray regulatory and other costs.

Two schools of thought seem to prevail among conservative Republicans unhappy with the prospect of voting for John McSame. First, there are those who believe that McSame, though far from their first choice, is looking better and better as the campaign progresses, primarily because the alternative is totally unacceptable. Which is something akin to saying, “I know this great resteraunt, the food there has a little poison in it, and it will kill you, but it really tastes good.  Do you want to do lunch?”

And then there are those think that the Republic can survive a Barack Obama administration, especially if it ushers in another Ronald Reagan era. There is a word in the English language that aptly describes this political theory … it is called “In Your Dreams.”

Personally I feel like they are both suffering from phantasmagoria which is a constantly shifting complex succession of things seen or imagined, witness to a bizarre or fantastic combination. I understand that their handlers have now canceled speeches in New Mexico concerning the importance of magnets in the future, more on that later.


So this morning I am opening my email and there it is: I-Hate-You – I-Hate-You – I-Hate-You – I-Hate-You – I-Hate-You – I-Hate-You – I-Hate-You – I-Hate-You – I-Hate-You – I-Hate-You – I-Hate-You – I-Hate-You – I-Hate-You – I-Hate-You – I-Hate-You – I-Hate-You – I-Hate-You – I-Hate-You – I-Hate-You – I-Hate-You – Possibly written by some Obammer Lover in Cicero, Illinois who is sitting in his home, listening to his two-pack a day smoking brother in the next room coughin’ up his breakfast while composing this wonderful, somewhat terse reply to something I wrote.

Which brings me to my next subject … “Why do they call them marbles, when they are made out of glass?”

Where is Albert Gore when you really need him? Why isn’t anyone asking the pertinent questions of these important people, I am tiring of the political rhetoric and half-truths. If everyone lost five pounds at the same time, would it throw Earth out of it’s orbit? If practice makes perfect, and nobody’s perfect, then why bother practicing? How is it in America, that commercials can claim that something is both NEW and IMPROVED. How do you throw away a garbage can?

Time to go, have to look for a new screen saver, read my required reading (stay a breast of what is going on in the country heh-heh) and answer this knot-head in Cicero, Illinois.

No lie.

Honest.

000

Photo compliments of Time Magazine.

The cartoon was published by the Center for American Progress” (online)


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