Two women have opened an unusual specialty shop in Raleigh, North Carolina. Lingerie for religious women. The Seek Ye First Lingerie Shop appeals to women who want to be “alluring” but not “sleazy,” said the two Baptist owners. Apparently customers like the idea — the owners report brisk sales at the “thong rack.”
Hallelujah our prayers have been answered! Ah Love. There is a difference between love and sex. Sex is for reliving tension and of course, love is what causes it.
Not So Swift Cracker
In Smyrna, Georgia a man was arrested after sending a hoax anthrax letter to the police chief … The tip off? His return address was on the envelope. I mean ….. Duh? Can’t believe that? Okay, try this. “Yeah, I called earlier asking why my power was out, and you said it was because of the storm. If that’s so, how come I just saw a car drive by my house a few minutes ago, and its lights were on?” From Leland H. Gregory’s book, “What’s the number for 9-11 again?”
Stella! Stella! No, wait, Adrian! Adrian!
How about another Rocky? Sly Stallone would love to bring Rock and Rambo back to the silver screen, but at his age, the Hollywood star fears his chances are slim. The prospect of ANYONE paying good money to go see it is slim or next to nothing. Traditionally movies during a recession or depression do rather well, one of the few items in a sinking economy that will still make a buck.
Heavenly Pay Back
A mother of three in the UK who claims that she had been visited by Jehovah’s Witnesses every month, for over 12 years, became fed up, stormed into Kingdom Hall, in Peace Haven, East Sussex, during a Jehovah’s Witness Service.
She began “handing out free magazines to see if they would like a copy, just like the copies of The Watchtower the Jehovah’s Witnesses hand out. Nobody seemed to want them though and she wouldn’t leave until the police arrived.
This is why they are called “Dopers.”
A Ft. Smith Arkansas couple who called to report the theft of marijuana from their home, according to police. And were promptly arrested for cultivation and drug paraphernalia. And on the seventh day, God stepped back and said, “There is my creation, perfect in every way. Oh damn it, I left pot all over the place. Now they’ll think I want them to smoke it. Now I have to create Republicans.”
Plum Nuts If You Ask Me
California Prune Producers have the right to change the name of prunes, the Food
and Drug Administration has ruled. They can now call prunes, “dried plums” in order to reach a much younger segment of the American Market.
Oh yeah, almost forgot, the government at the same time, is paying prune-pickers some $17 million to take trees out of production, because of a 60,000 pound surplus. Now that makes sense, what does that work out to? $283 a ton … Now if that doesn’t make you – - – - nothing will. (Blanks are optional Y’all, put in whatever works for you.)
I can hear mothers everywhere, “Johnny! Eat your what-you-call-its? They cost almost $8 a pound!”