Creative Endeavors, The Home of BoxcarOkie.com

October 28, 2008

Juggling Reality

Filed under: humor,Oklahoma,politics,random,Recent,Uncategorized,writing — ldsrr91 @ 6:15 AM
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Excuse me, would it be alright if we ….

Dover Delaware – A lawyer representing a condemned ax murderer told the state Supreme Court that prison officials violated state law by adopting a new lethal-injection protocol without allowing for public review or comment. An attorney for the Department of Correction argued that its policies and procedures are confidential and not routinely subject to disclosure. This is a new wrinkle in the fabric of society, getting pre-authorized permission and approval in order to execute an “AX Killer?”  Give me a break.

Could not happen to a nicer guy.

OJ Simpson is suffering through agonizing drug withdrawal behind bars says the National Enquirer. Simpson, recently convicted of armed robbery for trying to steal some of his old sports memorabilia suffers from severe arthritis because of old football injuries and was taking large doses of painkillers. Prison doctors have cut back on those medications, leavening Simpson hobbling and angry. “Sometimes he screams at his jailers, demanding pills,” a source tells the newspaper, “but his cries are being ignored.”  Welcome to your own personal hell OJ, enjoy your stay.

Trouble in Paradise.

There is now valid proof as to why Hawaii is the most expensive place in the U.S. to live. Honolulu – More Hawaii homeowners than ever are falling behind on mortgage payments; 594 home foreclosures were logged in September. The figure from Realty-Trac is more than three times the number for September 2007. A spokesman said the increase pushes Hawaii from 34th in the nation for foreclosures to 20th.

Gettin Tight In Suburbia

Coeur d’Alene, Idaho – Sales of booze are up at state-run stores in northern Idaho. State Liquor Dispensary Superintendent Dyke Nally said people are avoiding costlier bar and restaurant tabs and doing more parties at home to save money. Personally, I am all for people staying home to imbibe and make a fool of themselves. And please remember, “Friends do not let friends drive drunk.” If they insist, then you should shave their eyebrows and put them on a bus to Chicago. It is a public service, and actually quite entertaining at the same time.  Speaking of buses? (Nice blend huh) Check this out.

Someone needs to remove her head from her you know what or head back home … We don’t need MORE twisted science.

Just when you thought it could not get any worse. In an election that has been fought on an astoundingly low cultural and intellectual level, with both candidates pretending that tax cuts can go like peaches and cream with the staggering new levels of federal deficit, and paltry charges being traded in petty ways, and with Joe the Plumber becoming the emblematic stupidity of the campaign, it didn’t seem possible that things could go any lower or get any dumber. But they did last Friday, when, at a speech in Pittsburgh, Gov. Sarah Palin denounced wasteful expenditure on fruit-fly research, adding for good xenophobic and anti-elitist measure that some of this research took place “in Paris, France” and winding up with a folksy “I kid you not.” [...] More >>>

LOOKS LIKE THE SAME OLD CIRCUS TO ME

Turning Off The Juice

Concord New Hampshire . The state plans to turn off more than half of the 621 highway lights along Interstate 95 in the Portsmouth area and along Interstate 93 in Hooksett and Manchester. It said flipping the switches will save energy and about $250,000 a year. We did that last year, we turned the heat down, shut off the lights, we sat in the dark, my cup cake and I, froze our hinny’s off, and we saved twelve bucks.

Check The Garage

Fayetteville Arkansas – Police have arrested an armored car driver who had reported that the truck he drove was stolen by men who took him hostage. Police recovered nearly $500,000 from the residence of Brandon Whitehouse, 21, after he told investigators he acted alone. Whitehouse is charged with theft and filing a false police report. Kind of like the guy who got caught with fifteen pounds of smoke and claimed the C.I.A. planted it on him … that one didn’t fly either.

Better Living Thru Chemistry

San Francisco – An organic chemistry student at the University of California, Santa Cruz, pleaded no contest to heroin possession after police found drug-laced beer in his garage. Chaz Renzelman, 28, said he created the concoction by adding a handful of poppy pods to his homemade beer to improve the flavor. Renzelman was sentenced to a drug diversion program.

A Rude Awakening

A Pennsylvania woman was asleep in her bed last week when a large chunk of ice exploded thru the ceiling and hit her on the forehead. Mary Ann Foster, 66, was left with a large lump, and said that she could easily have been killed if the projectile hadn’t broken into pieces as it passed through the roof of her house. Authorities say the ice, which Foster saved most likely fell from a passing plane, but Foster isn’t so sure. “There is a little fish smell to it,” she says. “Which is weird.” And now this Tuesday, I have a totally new definition of the word “weird.”

Hard Times In Texas

Things are so bad of the seven gift shops in Crawford, Texas, that once sold George W. Bush souvenirs, three have gone broke and only one still maintains regular hours. Meanwhile the White House press corps released a national policy statement on the economy just yesterday. It read: “Save a little money each month and the end of the year, you will be surprised at how little you have.”

If you are not all that crazy about this (pardon the pun) then check out what this guy in LA says the “New America” is going to be like, little eye opener here for sure. Seven more days until the Obammer Rapture.

And finally … Melt Down In The Heart Land

Psychiatric hospitals nationwide are reporting that admissions have more than doubled due to people suffering extreme stress about home foreclosures, job losses, and plunging stock prices. It appears that the appropriate response to our current reality in America, is to simply just go insane.

Have to go!  I am late for group …

000

“The cartoon courtesy of Center for American Progress” (online), Sarah Palin article Slate Online.

October 9, 2008

That didn’t take long

Filed under: Oklahoma,politics,random,Recent,Uncategorized — ldsrr91 @ 3:11 AM
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Picked up the paper this morning and there it is, “Lawmakers put A.I.G. execs on the spot.” Six days after the government rescued A.I.G. with a massive $85 billion loan, the insurance company spent $443,000 on a week-long event for agents at a California resort, according to invoices produced during a Congressional Hearing on Tuesday.

All the pigs are rushing to the trough and you are paying for it. How does it feel?

According to records the committee obtained, the event’s expenses included nearly $200K for rooms, about $150K for banquets and $23K for spa treatments. While Average Americans are suffering economically and yet less than a week after the taxpayer rescued A.I.G., company executives could be found wining and dining at one of the most exclusive resorts in the nation.”

Once again, I hate to admit it, but we are ahead of the curve. Last week I wrote that this would happen and it comes to pass. It is enough to make a guy puke.

McSame is going around now pimping off the Home Loan plan as “his plan” but this is not true. Hillary and a lot of other folks signed off on it BEFORE he even came into the room. Here it is in a nutshell:

“If a homeowner bought a house for $300,000 – and the value then fell to $200,000 – McCain would have the government purchase the mortgage for $300,000, instead of forcing lenders to accept the loss and renegotiate the loan. The only way in which the government then makes a profit is if the house’s value rises above its original market value of $300,000,00.”  …  Which is possible, but highly unlikely.

In case you missed it, “the banker profits” on the deal and you of course, get nothing. I swear, the longer this goes on, the more I am starting to feel like an old dude with Alzheimer’s standing in a whore house, they are demanding that I pay for it, but I just don’t remember getting screwed.

The number of American automobile dealers that are tanking out has been revised, it has now gone to 700 (up 100 from last week). The only thing that appears to be a quick fix would be the thawing of credit (strange term don’t you agree?) something to restore consumer confidence and help the industry. With car lots full of cars, and no one to sell them to, they suddenly find themselves in a pickle.

My 12 year old hoopie is hurting, something to do with the master-cylinder on the brakes, think it needs a new one, but I am not sure. So we, like most American’s have done, just parked it and it is now our big red dust catcher on the driveway.

I started having problems last week, the “Check Engine Lite” came on. But I couldn’t check it; there was too much smoke. Then the “Game Over Lite” came on, I had not seen that one before.

Consumers will pay about 15% more … An extra $150 on average … to warm their homes this winter. Those that rely on home-heating-oil will be hit even harder, the Energy Department said this week. Here in Oklahoma I personally believe we will be sitting in the dark, freezing our hinny’s off, in order to save about twelve bucks. I understand back east, people will actually resort to burning their furniture, times are tough. The average household will spend $1,137 on heating from October to March according to the department.

Meanwhile officials in Colorado announced this week that residents there could face a 23% hike in energy costs starting in February. They of course cite higher costs for natural gas, coal, the increased cost of pumping water, building pipelines and infrastructure.

More? Okay.

Wood pellet distributors have been running short of the product because homeowners have switched over to pellet burning stoves to heat their house (guess they ran out of furniture?) and they are reported to be “stockpiling the pellets” for the upcoming winter. Some are said to have a two year stock on hand to meet their needs.

Yeah sure, I believe that … Portland Oregon.

Joy Sartin says she kept her money in her bra because she didn’t have her purse with her, and was only offering to pay a traffic ticket. But a jury determined the shapely 25 year old “Lingerie model” was trying to bribe a police officer. She was arrested after taking $270 from her bra when her car was about to be towed during a traffic stop.

Again in the northwest.

Monroe, Washington the return of D.B. Cooper? A man armed with pepper spray robbed and armored car guard coming out of a bank and then escaped by way of the Skylomish River with a bag of money. Police said one witness saw the man floating off on an inner tube. Investigators believe accomplices could have picked the robber up at a nearby park or boat launch. D.B. Cooper was the first person to hijack an airliner in the U.S.. And was never found.

Now we have a new urban legend … D.B. Toober.

Yeah I know, but it’s Thursday Y’all.

Here is the quote of the day (possibly the week, as it isn’t over yet). McSame last night on NBC said that “we could not pull out of Iraq; we lose everything we have gained.” Huh? What have we gained? Other than a mountain of debt and ill-will around the world, some 5,000 dead.

He said the first thing he would do when assuming his office in January would be to enact legislation to stop the problem of falling soccer goal posts which killed three American’s this year … And of course, leave all the soldiers right where they are.

Vee-Pee wanna be Palin when asked the same question replied with: “Tee-Hee, giggle-snort-snort” and then winked at the camera.

Now if you will excuse me, I am going back into the kitchen and stick my head back in the oven.

000

Parting Shot: “Everyone needs to be loved … Especially when they do not deserve it.”

“The cartoon was published by the Center for American Progress” (online)

October 8, 2008

I Can Fix It

Filed under: Oklahoma,politics,random,Recent,Uncategorized,writing — ldsrr91 @ 6:44 AM
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This morning, I have been giving a lot of thought to my recently announced plans to run for President (Vote For Me).

Coincidentally, I had an epiphany of sorts when I realized that it is not easy being “The Chief” executive officer of a country.

That kind of came home to roost, early this cool, chilly autumn morning.

Not easy being a leader these days.

I heard a story of an old Indian got appointed to position of Chief in the tribe. One day all the members of the tribe approached him and said: “What weather do?” The newly initiated Chief told them, “me tell you tomorrow.” He then called the U.S. Weather Service and asked the man who answered up, “What weather do?” and he was given the reply, “about the same, maybe a bit cooler.”

So the next day, the Chief assembled all the tribe and told them, “Cool weather … cut firewood.”

A few months went by and again, the members of the tribe approached the Chief, and asked, “What weather do?” The Chief says to them, “I tell tomorrow.” Again he calls the U.S. Weather Service and asks the guy, “What weather do?” The man answering the phone says, “about the same, a little cooler possibly next week.”

The Chief tells the Indians, “Cut more firewood.”

Once again, the members of the tribe form a group and asked the Chief, “What weather do?” and as always, “I tell tomorrow.”

He (the chief) gets on the horn and calls the U.S. Weather Service and says, “What weather do?” and the guy on the other end of the phone sez ……… “Man, it must be going to get really cold, these Indians around here are cutting firewood like you would not believe!”

Here lately I have been reading a lot of this “the world is gonna end” tripe just about everywhere I look on the net. Which is ridiculous for a number of reasons. One, if you are an American that the chances of you owing a LOT OF MONEY are fairly good, and they are not going to allow you to die, you owe too much money. Second, I got a new Fiest Telephone Book recently, and they would not have put that out if the world was going to end.

So you can relax, stop all these foolish plans.

Such as storing up gasoline, kerosene, diesel, lighter fluid, oatmeal, potato chips, Doritos, green beans (no liver & onions please!), barbeque starter fluid, water (non tap water), soap, jell-o, Twinkies (these things will last over six years even when exposed to the elements), cheerios, chocolate-almond-kisses, tootsie rolls, candles, razor blades and last but not least …. Ammo.

Here is what is really sad … read that again … not one mention of clean underwear in there anywhere.

Seriously I have been making plans for after the inaugural in January. The absolute first thing that I have decided to do in my administration is get rid of voice mail. Anyone who has a voice mail machine, will either be fined or sent to prison without the benefit of parole. Especially the ones that play this sick elevator musak.

Personally I don’t really mind holding the line; I have learned to accept that. It is the God awful, punch this button for this, and punch this button for that, and if you are a member of the human race, please punch … you get the drift? I am weary of the game. While I am at it, I will re-instate the death penalty for all these people that garble out their telephone numbers on the machine so fast that you have to play it at least three times, in order to get the number.

After this last go around with the friendly folks at AOL I have decided to start a campaign that will stop people from using the phrase “Information Highway.” This new method of describing communication in America and the rest of the world has to cease. If most of these people had truly been on the “Information Highway” they would have been road kill for the last westbound Roadway Trucker headed out to the shaky-side (Los Angeles, California).

They would not have made it past the Honey Store at exit 100 near the state-line.

Moving swiftly along … As president I shall remove from television all of these shows such as Hard Copy, Current Affair, the Six O’clock news, and all these television shows that honor or celebrate crime. Also to hit the dust will be any type of Reality Programming, my idea of entertainment is not watching the bottom of the gene pool, sitting around cussing each other out, and acting like the ill-bred crack babies they are.

If you are a parent “and your four year old is running your life” you do not need a Nanny, all you need is a bathroom and a COLD SHOWER, a couple of those and he/she will get the message.

Effective immediately, a limit on the number of murders the affiliates will be allowed to show during the evening meal. (and you wonder why the folks in Europe don’t want to visit us?) There should be a cap on stories dealing with rape and other forms of violence that we have become so accustomed to.

I am tired of it, as your New President, I will put a stop to it.

There should also be a ban on hardened criminals appearing on so-called Talk Shows, and/or writing books about their crimes for self enrichment. This includes the police officers (crooked cops) who appear with paper bags on heir heads, when confessing their collective crimes to Geraldo.

We will instead, provide them with some kind of pamphlet (printed up at government expense of course) that explains that selling drugs, stealing dirty money, and beating up innocent citizens is not what they have been hired to do. Maybe they do not understand how things work in our society.

It should be an interesting year after I am sworn in, first thing we will have to do is fetch some more zero’s for our federal deficit, most everything else will stay the same. The politicians will lie about their bank accounts and diaries, continue to say just about anything to get them elected (or re-elected as the case may be). Wall Street firms involved in shady insider deals and lobbyists will still have their fingers crossed while profusely maintaining the innocence of their clients.

Some irritants will still abound in the new era. Unfortunately, that is the way the system works, you can only change so much of it. The rest of it …. Well y’know … Dontcha?

We should make some inroads, might even clean up some of the things mentioned here. Having seen nothing to convince me otherwise, I believe it is safe to announce … THE WORLD IS NOT GOING TO END AS EXPECTED … Despite what you read at the checkout stand in the little rag’s they sell there. Despite what the blog community seems to be pre-occupied with.

Just aint gonna happen …… Chill out dudes.

And remember … Vote for me.

000

September 22, 2008

Monday-Monday

Filed under: Oklahoma,random,Recent,Uncategorized — ldsrr91 @ 9:33 AM
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Man, I love dumb crooks. Police in Hillsborough, North Carolina, responded to a call from a bank about a man who was acting suspiciously. Capt. Dexter Davis confronted the man asked if he had a weapon. “He pushed his book bag off his shoulders, opened the bag up and held it open to me to show he didn’t have a gun,” Davis said. When Davis looked inside, there was a note in clear view. It read, “I want $10,000 in $100 bills. Don’t push no buttons, or I’ll shot you.” Davis laughed out loud, and then arrested Christopher Fields (who was also carrying a 10 inch knife) and turned him over to the F.B.I..

Now this, is an addiction. Fairbanks – A man is accused of using a chain saw to break into the village store and steal thousands of dollars worth of tobacco and candy. Nathan Henry, 19, was charged with felony burglary and felony theft, according to state troopers. A manager of the store complained after finding a 3-foot hole in one side of the log building that had apparently been cut by a chain saw.

Thieves are the hardest working people I know.

A cool one?  Temper-temper. Boise – A woman who dumped a soft drink she hadn’t paid for onto a counter at the Veterans Affairs Medical Center here was charged in federal court with three misdemeanors. Natalie Walters, 39, faces one count of larceny of government property and two counts of disturbance. Walters said she was overcharged for the soda and dumped it rather than pay.

It is good to see the government cracking down on these wanton lawbreakers in our midst. They cannot locate the terrorists or the illegal aliens, so it appears they have shifted resources to the drink counters of America.

First they started checking our email, then started listening to our phone calls, and now it has digressed to our electric meters  The Delaware Public Service Commission approved a Delmarva Power plan to install “smart meters” to reduce customers energy use.  The approval means the meters will be installed possibly as early as next fall, for more than 300,000 gas and electric customers.  The meters allow for two-way communication between the utility and its customers and of course, “track” energy use.

If this isn’t Big Brother, I don’t know what is.

Poo-Poo occurs, it seems the poo-poo has hit the whirly-dirly in Reno – The city cracked down on recreational vehicles that park overnight in casino parking lots, prompting some RVers to say they’ll boycott Reno. City officials said an ordinance on the books since 1996 outlaws RV camping anywhere except designated parks with water and sewage hookups. The concerns are health-related, a city official said.

What is happening here is Californian’s heading north to the gambling joints and losing their money are dumping their black water (raw sewage or human waste) in the parking lots of the casino’s before they head home. Nasty huh.

Good gosh!  Just give me the ticket.

Mount Juliet Tennessee – A city police officer who used a choking maneuver on a man he suspected of hiding marijuana in his mouth has been fired. The city manager of this Nashville suburb terminated Cpl. William Cosby, who was charged earlier with aggravated assault and perjury. Video from a police car showed Cosby choking James Lawrence Anders Jr. during an April traffic stop until Anders passed out.

Who needs cops when you have bears? Panguitch, Utah. One Utah community is cheering a special bear but don’t call him Smokey. Investigators say a large black bear raided a clandestine marijuana growing operation so often that it chased the grower away. “This bear is definitely law-enforcement minded,” said Garfield County Sheriff Danny Perkins. “If I can find this bear I’m going to deputize him.”

Deputies found food containers ripped apart and strewn everywhere, cans with bear teeth marks, claw marks and bear prints across the Garfield County camp on Tuesday. Perkins said the operation on Boulder Mountain included 4,000 “starter” sacks of pot and 888 young plants. “This particular bear apparently was not going to give up and basically chased these marijuana farmers away,” Perkins said. “Our county is so tough on drugs that even the wildlife are getting in on the action.”

Deadly truck crash leaves $182K in nickels on I-95. One trucker died and two others were injured in a pre-dawn crash that left $182,000 worth of nickels on Interstate 95 near Orlando, Florida. State troopers and federal agents “are securing the scene, while local members of the Treasury are en route,” according to Florida Today. “The Treasury employees will pick up all the nickels.”

By our calculations, the U.S. Mint will have to pick up 3.64 million coins.  A state police spokesman warns that anyone who might stop to collect nickels … even ONE nickel … would face federal charges since the nickels belong to the Treasury Department.  And of course, “anyone with a soft drink in their hand, will automatically be considered “suspicious” for sure.”

And finally … Delhi,Ill..

Here’s a tip: Bar tending nude can get you arrested. Sheriff’s deputies doing a routine check this week at a southern Illinois bar say they discovered a not-so-routine sight. Authorities allege that 33-year-old Janet Brannon was naked while serving bar patrons at the Cabin Tavern in Delhi. Brannon was arrested and charged with misdemeanor public indecency. She was freed on $8,000 bond.

I would like to personally pay this lady’s fine, all we have in Oklahoma is Hooter Girls and 3.2 beer.

It just has to be Monday ……..

000

September 5, 2008

Life goes on …

Filed under: Oklahoma,politics,random,Recent,Uncategorized — ldsrr91 @ 6:23 AM
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Let see? My virus scanner says that my system is squeaky clean, I have no Spyware, no Trojan anythings, my malware is not there, I am doing well. I am somewhat concerned about this ugly rash in my right armpit, and may have to stay on top of that. But all in all, I am okay, or perceived to be okay at this point in time.

Been an interesting week, backed out of my driveway on Monday and nailed my neighbor’s car, and he isn’t too happy with me. The cable company demanded that I cough up funds, the utilities are due, insurance, you name it. Life in the big city goes on.

All my hero’s at WordPress have left me alone and disillusioned again, and I am flat out bent out of shape with them. If you want a taste of it you can find it at WordPress SNAFU.

Maybe I am wound too tight for my own good? Children are said to laugh about 300 times each day on average, the adult however only about 15. Perhaps I should get more childlike in my approach to all of this ____ and try to mellow out. It just seems here lately that every other person is lying to me and I am tiring of trying to sort it all out. More …

The whacky world of Hollywood makes me smile. Robert Downey Jr. was recently quoted as saying: “While groping for answers, he tries to keep things pretty simple. In this transition phase, I am really trying to live as much as a lizard as I can. Hot, rock, sun, fly, tongue. My identity was written on the wall by ancient and honorable formidable guides and forces. I’m such a work in progress at this moment. It’s crazy.”

Yeppers Robert, it shore is. And I thought Gary Busey was a little off tilt? As for me, I am not into that. I come from a long line of catalytic converters, and after sleeping all night long, I still wake up exhausted!

Tonight on the NBC News they were running this short item on used cars, new cars, saving money. They had this piece where a girl traded in an SUV and it was appraised at less than 50% of what she had paid for it three years ago. The article pointed out that by taking the loss, and trading in for lower rates, and the apparent gas savings included in the deal, that it would take her 52 years to recoup her loss.

Man, how sad is that? Oil prices are down now, because it is “election time” what do you suppose is going to happen after the Grand Old Party gets their lap-dog in there? Here is a new wrinkle in the fabric of daily life. The oil companies have started adding a 10% ethanol mix to the fuel, which could possibly damage your old hoopie that isn’t designed to run on ethanol and give you considerably less mileage.

It just kind of happened. I also have noticed that the stickers they put on the pump are not uniform. Some are orange, some blue with yellow letters, some white/black. Slowly they will increase the ethanol levels I suppose, just as they secretly sort of put this into effect.

Might be advised to look at the pump … before you pump. After the elections it will again revert to business as usual … An arm and a leg to fill up, watch n see. How does $4 a gallon grab ya? Just like a nasty head cold it is coming back.

Our good friends at the ACLU have filed a suit to stop employers from checking electronically the status of immigrated new hires to their businesses in Rhode Island. Once again, the erosion of rights in this country. If you have a business you should have the RIGHT to check on the people you hire, I personally see nothing wrong with this.

Maybe someone ought to inform the ACLU that presenting a false Social Security Card is a crime in this country, serious enough to be rated a felony. We need to disband the ACLU.

Speaking of crime? I love this one, police in Iowa City, Iowa, said that they did not have a lot of trouble locating the suspect. He signed his OWN NAME to the credit card receipts on a stolen credit card. He used the card at a coffee house, a tobacco store and a deli before it was eventually declined.

I am watching this Reality TV show, “The Principals Office” and it barks out at me. FIND OUT WHAT REALLY GOES ON IN THE PRINCIPALS OFFICE AT 8PM EASTERN! And I have to smile, “I know what goes on in the principal’s office, I had my name on my own chair in the tenth grade.”

Like I said, “I need to learn how to lighten up.” I am going to relax and read my book, “100 things to do before you die.” Written by Dave Freeman (co-author) who incidentally died this week at age 47. He fell and hit his head, he had visited about half of the places he mentioned in his book.

Hot, rock, sun, fly, tongue …. Life goes on.

000

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: “When I’m feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor’s dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.”

September 2, 2008

Deep Freeze ….

Filed under: Oklahoma,random,Recent,Uncategorized — ldsrr91 @ 9:25 AM
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American shoppers are buying freezers in record numbers.  Across the country, shoppers bought more than 1.1 million freezers during the first six months of the year; this represents a 7% increase in sales over last year at the very same time.  That doesn’t sound like much, 7%, but it is about $400 million in freezer sales.  A huge figure when you stop to consider the sales of other household items.

This means that Americans on average, now have about 1 in 2 homes equipped with a stand alone freezer, to combat the high cost of food prices.

The economy continues to erode.  You can add the Federal Deposit Insurance Corp. to the list of entities that may be in line for a Treasury Department bail-out, The Wall Street Journal reports, following an interview with the agency’s chairwoman.

The FDIC is a bit cash-strapped these days as it props up failing banks across the country. It announced on Tuesday that 117 ailing banks are now under its care and that the FDIC holds an astounding $78 billion in distressed bank assets.

The Guardian points this out. And, The New York Times says it is so, the FDIC sees the banking crisis going from bad to worse. Today’s political news isn’t much better … Our government truly deserves to be dismantled … Little taste of it here.

But take note, all the news is not bad.  Wendy’s announced the national rollout of a 99-cent double cheeseburger with two beef patties and one slice of cheese, competing with the value meal menus from Burger King and McDonalds.

Now if only we can find the buck?

Been following this bad news in the Soviet Union republic of Georgia.  Haven’t figured out how this will play out on the price of a gallon of gasoline, but I am sure they will work it in, one way or the other. I also read where all of the Wal-Marts across Alabama sold out of ammunition as of yesterday.  A reliable source said that one of the purchasers commented that while Russia may have invaded Georgia, they sure as hell ain’t doin’ it to Alabama!

This N That …  Living off the grid in the deep south.

Nice Payday.  University of Central Arkansas President Lu Hardin who has been plagued by criticism over a $300K bonus resigned and will get a buyout package of some $700K more.  That will teach him!

Okay, I have plugged in the stereo headphones and cranked up the volume!  (Who wants to hear what the grandchildren have to say anyway?)  Buckle up!  It might just get freaky.

Here is another good payday story, one that is even better.

In Fort Jefferson, New York, a churchgoer donated a lottery ticket to the True North Community Church after scratching it off, the pastor noted that the ticket was worth $3 million dollars.  State lottery officials said the church will receive at least $102,225 a year through the year 2028.

Most lottery winners take the “cash option” as no one knows what the tax structure will be in twenty-years.  So they opt for the cash option and take a considerable loss.  But if you are “tax exempt” you can take the payout option and receive the “entire amount of the prize.” As you don’t pay taxes anyway, so you can afford to wait it out.  Must be nice huh?

Local Malcontent and The Dustbury both local Oklahoma bloggers are at odd’s with each other over the definition of funny.  Post on it here. Just depends on how you look at it.  It is either ironic or it is funny.

A twenty-six year old was arrested for attempted armed robbery in Long Beach California yesterday.  Witnesses were able to ID the dumb crook by a distinctive tattoo on his forearm.  It read:  “Not Guilty.”

Maybe it is just me, but I put that one down under the “funny side” of life.

Big Archaeology find . . . After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, New York scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion, that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed, a California archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story in the LA Times read: “California archaeologists, finding traces of 200 year old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the New Yorkers.”

One week later, my daily paper, quite possibly the absolute worst newspaper in the USA, reported the following: After digging as deep as 300 feet in his pasture near Mustang, Oklahoma, Billy Raye Littler, a  self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing.  Billy Raye has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, Oklahoma had already gone wireless.

Thank God for Billy Raye Littler.  Who said Okies were hicks?  Someone needs to apologize to Alabama, Arkansas and Mississippi if you ask me.  I wonder if they give their kids three names too?

Not knowing if any of this was amusing or not, it is time to pack it in.  Now I suppose it is time to slink off to my ever faithful lawn-chair on the front porch, my personal arcadia which I hope will be a region or scene of simple pleasure and quiet.

My little sleepy community of serene peace, where I can separate the toils, troubles, politics of the world and all the dogs are down for a mid morning nap.

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THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: “As the American Economy continues to erode, and because of budget restraints.  The Lite At The End of The Tunnel, has been turned off.  Please be advised.”

August 7, 2008

Only In America …

Filed under: Oklahoma,random,Recent,Uncategorized — ldsrr91 @ 6:41 AM
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THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: “If you are still cooking on a hot plate at home, you can pretty much figure you are not going to qualify for a new car loan.”

The getaway didn’t quite work after police arrested Sean Gallagher of Illinois on charges he robbed the same gas station three times in recent months. After the third robbery a gas station employee pointed Gallagher out to police as he walked to his home, which is some 200 yards away.

Phoenix police said they’ve broken up a new major prostitution ring that set up dates through internet websites. More than 100 people worked for the organization that was centered in Metropolitan Phoenix area. Paul Nichita, 32, was one of the alleged ringleaders and a key player. Looks like there is a totally new way to catch a virus from the net now … Wonder if Microsoft has a patch for this?

A huge population of endangered gorillas have been found, some 125,000 western lowland gorillas deep in the forests of the Congo. Now let me see, you are counting gorilla’s and you miss “125,000” how is it that you accomplish this lofty feat? Now I had been hearing about American kids laggin behind other countries in math, but this?

How in the world can you MISS that many or fail to count a number that high?

The government announced today that older men should not be tested for prostrate cancer. It says that they are likely to be hurt by the test than helped. 44% of all cancers detected do not actually have to be tested because of slow growth rates in the body. Unnecessary biopsies lead to anxiety and serious complications from depression and other side effects. Just when I was starting to get used to it, had reached a point where it didn’t bother me, and now they go and cancel it. Oh well, back to the porn sites.

125,000 gorillas … think about it.

Paris Hilton has a new commercial out and the present round of political insanity in the country continues. I hate reading articles on showbiz people and their talking politics’, but it is so hot now, you’re almost forced to talk about it. It is so noisy and in your face.

Who do you think suffers the most in traffic, men or women? Most likely you are shaking your head and saying men, because we are known world-wide for our lousy tempers. But you are wrong, it is women. U.S. Census researchers have found that with women, each additional child they have results in more driving, because they do the bulk of the trips taking the kids places. With men, it doesn’t matter if they have no kids or two kids … they tend to drive the same amount.

In our marriage I traditionally do all the driving, my wife drives, but when she is behind the wheel, I have a profound tendency to gnaw on the dashboard. Men handle problems differently than women; my parents illustrated this to me over and over when I was a kid.

When my mom was mad at me she would say “Get In The Car!” my dad on the other hand would say ……. “Go stand in the street until I can get the truck started!”

Speaking of temperament?

A Milwaukee man is facing felony charges after shooting his lawnmower with a shotgun. Keith Walendowski, 57, told police that he was perfectly entitled to shoot his Lawn-Boy mower at 9:30 A.M. Saturday morning because it would not start. “It’s my lawn mower and it is my yard, so I can shoot it if I want.” was the exact quote. Police however, disagreed, and charged him with disorderly conduct and possession of a short-barreled shotgun.

Back in the seventies, the company that I worked for sent me to “anger management sessions” (which was totally free by the way, and I got to talk to these very nice people and they seemed to understand everything that I told them) and I learned to control my rage. When my lawnmower would not start, I took a six pound mall (hammer) to it and beat it too death! It was later on that I discovered it was out of gasoline at the time. (Services are pending)

“One hundred twenty-five thousand big black grass eating Apes … think about it.”

It really makes one think about which of the species is more advanced, doesn’t it?

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