Creative Endeavors, The Home of BoxcarOkie.com

March 31, 2009

Whacked Out World

Filed under: Uncategorized — ldsrr91 @ 4:29 am
Tags: , , ,

stoopid

Now I have to admit, I saw something yesterday I never thought I would see.  I saw an ambidextrous cellphone user.  She was driving down the Interstate, weaving in and out, almost drove right over the top of her.  And when I did find a suitable amount of space to pass her, I swung out and came on around, and she gave me a look that would kill a bear and then with the cellphone still in her hand, flipped me off!

That has to be a first for me.

Ah, another wonderful trip about town in the Big City.  We are driving home yesterday from lunch at the beanery, nice lazy day, and I notice this sign located close to the road, out in front by the fence.

It reads:  Clean Dirt Wanted 525-****.

Now I think to myself, this cannot be right, dirt is by its very nature, “dirty” and how can you specifically ask for “clean” dirt?

Which in turn got me to thinking about all the stoopid stuff we are forced to endure on a daily basis in this country and of course, the people who write and publish it (like this site right here.).  I have been for sometime lifting these little nuggets of truth and as I come across items of absurdity, I file them in the file named “Absurd things and Alimony reciepts” and save them for a rainy day.

You never know when this stuff will come up on the Cocktail Circuit it pays to be ready.

All those little quirky thoughts and messages of modern day living.  Such as “legally drunk” now there is one for you.  If you are “legally” drunk, how come they are arresting you?  Just doesn’t wash.

So here for your enjoyment are just a few:

AUDITIONS:  Seeking a young man who is at least 28 but not over 28 years old. A little too specific if you ask me.
Get 50% off … or half price … whichever is less.
Tiger Woods plays with own balls, says Nike
Statistics show that teen pregnancy drops off significantly after age 25
What constitutes a millionaire?  A millionaire is someone who has $1 million, according to Jerry Beto, branch manager and senior vice president of investments at Ag Edwards and Sons. Now there is some bailout bonus material if I ever saw one.
A deputy responded to an report of a vehicle stopping at mail boxes.
It was the mailman.
Army vehicle disappears.  An Australian Army vehicle worth $74,000 has gone missing after being painted camouflage.
Police were called to Market Square for a report about a “suspicious coin.”  Investigating officer reported it was a quarter.
A woman in the 1900 block of 129th lane northeast reported that someone must have stolen her mail, because she did not receive any birthday cards from some of her friends.
Fish need water.  Feds say.
Alton attorney accidentally sues himself
County to pay $250,000 to advertise lack of funds.
Correction:  Due to incorrect information from the clerk at courts, Michelle Merchant, 38 was incorrectly listed as being arrested for prostitution on Wednesday.  The charge should have been failing to stop at a RR Crossing.  She will be the talk of Sunday School this weekend for sure.
Caskets found as workers demolish church.  “We had no idea people were buried there.”
Utah poison control center reminds everyone not to take poison.
Federal Agents raid gun shop, find weapons.
Body found wrapped in chains hanging from tree … Police suspect foul play.
Crack found in Man’s buttocks.  Police searching a downtown home found a man hiding 15 plastic bags of crack cocaine in his buttocks.  He was charged with possession with the intent to distribute crack cocaine, possession of drug paraphernalia, obstructing and hindering and making a false statement to police.
Caller reports hitting an intruder in the head with an axe.
Notes that intruder was the mirror in her bedroom.
WalMart:  Police receive a report of a newborn infant found in a trashcan.  Upon investigation, officers discover it was only a burrito.
1:33PM  A person calls the police station to inquire on “how to legally kill” a person who is harassing him.
A caller reports that someone was on a porch yelling “help!”
Officers responded and learned that person was calling a cat that is named “help.”
Man in diapers directs traffic.  Wearing only tennis shoes and a diaper, a man was arrested while directing traffic and performing martial arts in the intersection.  He was charged with public drunkenness and disorderly conduct (he was more than likely legally drunk at the time).
12:22PM a cellular caller reports a large snapping turtle on the roadway at Elm and Crescent road.  The turtle subsequently fled the area.
Airport officials report that a new silent plane will cut down on airport noise.

And the absolute best for last ….

The learning Center on Hanson Street reports a man across the way stands at his window and stares at the center for hours and is making parents nervous.  Police ID the subject as a cardboard cutout of Arnold Schwarzenegger.

And you thought it was going to be a boring Tuesday.

OOO


March 10, 2009

Sorry Charlie

Filed under: Oklahoma,Recent — ldsrr91 @ 2:52 am
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

charlieReady for the latest email rumor?  Here it is, hot of the press, just came in yesterday afternoon.

Like Tuna? Here you go, follow the yellow brick road (federal gold).  Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi’s home district includes San Francisco.  Star-Kist Tuna’s headquarters are in San Francisco, Pelosi’s home district.

Star-Kist is owned by Del Monte Foods and is a major contributor to Pelosi. Star-Kist is the major employer in American Samoa employing 75% of the Samoan work force. Paul Pelosi, Nancy ‘s husband, owns $17 million dollars of Star-Kist stock.

Not going to fast for you am I?

In January, 2007 when the minimum wage was increased from $5.15 to $7.25, Pelosi had American Samoa exempted from the increase so Del Monte would not have to pay the higher wage. This would make Del Monte products less expensive than their competition’s.

Last week when the huge bailout bill was passed, Pelosi added an earmark to the final bill adding $33 million dollars for an ‘economic development credit in American Samoa’.

The email then goes on to say that Snopes.com backs it all up.  Sorry Charlie but SNOPES.COM does not validate this, it says it is a rumor.  And Truth or Fiction.com says there is no record of it at all.  So don’t believe everything that you read in email, no better yet, don’t believe “anything” you read in email, and certainly nothing here.

The email ends with “Why don’t we get media coverage of stories like this?” and of course the old stand-by …. Pass This On To All Of Your Friends … The sure dead give away.

We don’t get stories like this because they seem to be bogus and untrue.

(Gawd, I hate email)

OOO

March 6, 2009

Boring and unimportant

Filed under: Oklahoma,Recent — ldsrr91 @ 3:40 am
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

A man who wrongly spent 19 years in prison for rape is set to receive a $1.4 million settlement of a federal lawsuit.  DNA evidence cleared him and the city which had him prosecuted has cut him a check for $300,000 and owes him $1.1 million more.  This figures out to close to $58,000 per year, so now we all know what twenty-years of your life is worth in Louisiana.

Not much.

More prison news, this is a doozy. Faced with a $1.7 million budget deficit, Des Monies County, Iowa is considering charging prison inmates for toilet paper!  They say that the county hopes to raise $2,300 by charging inmates $1 for toilet paper.  I guess the next question might be, “What about the guy who doesn’t have the buck for the paper?” what does he use.

WANTED:  PERSONNEL ARE DESPERATELY NEEDED IN THE GOVERNMENT SECTOR OF THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION.  GOOD PAY, BENEFITS, AND REASONABLE HOURS.  RESPONDENTS MUST NOT BE CURRENT IN THEIR TAX STATUS AND HAVE AT LEAST ONE PENDING DEBT OF $10,000 OR MORE OWED TO THE IRS.  PLEASE APPLY AT 1200 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE.

Here you go!

Tax Troubles Take Five opened at the White house this week with revelations that another of President Obama’s Cabinet-level nominees has problems with unpaid taxes.  This used to be somewhat amusing, but it is appearing far too much here lately, and has kind of gotten old.

Ron Kirk the cabinet appointee owes more than $10,000 in taxes.  The thing that really makes all this so repugnant is the attitude of the Obama administration itself.  Who called Kirk’s tax troubles “minor” and expressed confidence that the Senate will confirm him.  This liaise faire attitude toward these tax cheats should not be tolerated.

Oil Crisis is evidently over.

Gasoline prices are on the rise and the oil industry is sowing seeds for a sharp run-up at the pump, best be ready, because it is on the way.  Americans battered by the recession have found modest consolation or comfort in low oil prices and gasoline price at the pump.  This is a condition that is more than likely going to last as long as business remains dismal and the recession stays in place.

Evidently we no longer have a petroleum problem in the nation, that is good news, isn’t it.

The oil industry is quietly brewing another consumer toxic stew in gas prices once demand recovers and the economy adjusts and starts moving again.  They are slashing new investment and production far more sharply than analysts projected just a couple of months ago.  This of course could lead to shortages later on, and when something becomes short in supply, well you know what happens dont’cha?

It goes up in price.  Get ready boys and girls, it is on the way. Where is T Boone Pickens when we really need him.

What was it the great poets used to say, Life is a tragedy, or a sad play or something like that?

Jerry Seinfeld is tackling martial woes as the behind the scenes producer of the Marriage Ref. a six-episode reality series due on NBC next season.  Squabbling couples will air their differences to a panel of comedians, sports stars and celebrities (only thing this is missing seems to be OJ, but I hear he is tied up at the present time). Just what we need, a recession and unhappy married couples harping at each other in prime time.

Head games on channel twenty-five.

In order to maintain martial harmony in my home, I am often forced to watch insidious mind-numbing shows like Dancin’ With The Stars or American Idol.  Now here is the deal, all these so-called contestants are NOT supposed to know they are being cut or chosen to move on, right?  So last night when they called this little teenage-chickie down to tell her she is moving on in the competition how come they already had her miked?

The other contestants were not wearing mikes … I smell a rat.

supermanAction Comics #1 the book that introduced Superman is going on the auction block.  This is considered a highly collectible item, or considered the Holy Grail of comic books.

Previous to this, another marvel comic book fetched over $350,000 at an auction in 2002.  I used to have a stack of comic books in my closet that was around 4 ft high, when I came home from the service I discovered that my mother had tossed all of them.

So much for my chance at being a millionaire before age twenty-five.


It may be news to foreign policy Pundits in Islamabad as well as to the majority of readers that Superman, the highly coveted American film hero, is an expression and a creation of fascist minds rooted in a political culture that epitomizes power and the use of force.  Muslims do not like Superman and they are not too fond of us.

While we are at it.  The big news on the news today is the local Muslim’s do not want their picture on the drivers lic. and are suing the state.  Here is a novel idea.  YOU DON’T LIKE IT HERE AND DO NOT WANT TO ABIDE BY THE RULES … FORFEIT YOUR CITIZENSHIP AND MOVE TO AN ISLAMIC COUNTRY OR COMMUNITY. Most of us are tired of your act by this time.

Been a somewhat interesting week, I read where a guy tried to rob a finger-licking-chicken joint in Dallas with a stick!  Yes, I said a stick.  Now this is a guy who is going to need Denny Crane or Allan Shore for representation for sure.

Another guy in Oregon was in the process of robbing a car wash when his gun disintegrated and fell to the floor in several pieces.  The employee of the car wash grabbed the first thing handy, a 2,000 ft/lb per square inch hose and let the guy have it!

And in Washington DC this dude came home to find a van parked in his driveway, walking to the windows, he spies three people inside his house, unhooking his flat screen television.  So noticing the van is idling and the keys are in it, he gets inside and drives off with their van to call the cops.

So far, this has to be the absolute winner of them all.  It is short and sweet.


There you go, all you need to know about everything that matters.

Thanks for stopping by, come back soon (and of course, please bring your own paper).

OOO

February 10, 2009

Heavy Viewer

Filed under: Oklahoma,Recent — ldsrr91 @ 3:47 am
Tags: , , , , ,

pb-jam

Good morning!  Here is Tuesday mornings rebarbative commentary on the state of America.  Fresh off the back-burner of the stove to you.

The Oklahoma Blogging Awards are in and Creative Endeavors did not win an award for anything other than being nominated.  We are so happy for the winners and wish them a hearty congratulations for a job well done.  It also appears that the book deal has fallen through also.

Two weeks ago I sent off a manuscript to my publisher, and put a note in with it, that said to the editor, “I have other irons in the fire, so get back to me as soon as possible on this.”  Yesterday I got his reply, he said to:  “Remove irons from fire, and insert manuscript.”

Having been nominated was a real surprise and a genuine kick in the whatever for us, and we once again, thank you for it. You can see all the winners here.

Saw that poor Polish kid from Illinois on Larry King, he is the one who got impeached last week but he still insists “he isn’t going anywhere.”  He may be more aware than he knows, if he hasn’t a clue, tell him to call Sarah Palin.  He was on The View earlier and seems to be making all the stops in a hot market.

He is something isn’t he?  All of them, I didn’t do anything, you aint got nuthin on me, other than these fifty-seven indictments and forty-two hours of taped conversations. Kind of like the poor sap they caught coming across the border with fifty pounds of weed, “The CIA planted this on me …. Honest.”

Earlier in the week, I had briefly considered applying for work in the new Obama administration and then it suddenly occurred to me,

“Silly me.  I PAY MY TAXES what was I thinking?”

After the war in Berlin, they were holding trials for war criminals.  And this general went up to this German and he said, “What are you here for.”  And the German replied, “I am innocent, these charges are a fabrication, a total lie.”  And the general went up to the second German, again, “what are you here for.”  The reply was, “I am totally innocent, there is NO justification in these charges, I shall be vindicated.”  Same with German number four.

And he went down the line to the fifth guy and asked the same question, the guy looked up and said, “I stole a jeep.”

At that time the general yelled out for a guard.  The guard readily appeared and inquired, “General?”  The General pointed out to the guy who stole the jeep and said, “Get this guy outta here, I don’t want him infecting all of these other innocent people” and he was released.

The Iraq journalist that threw the shoe at President Bush has had a statue erected in his honor in Saddam Hussein’s home town, Takkrit.  Larry the Toe Tapper Ex-senator from Utah has finally admitted that he no longer wants or desires to change his plea in the airport bathroom sex sting incident.  He concluded that it would be a futile exercise and that the legal wrangling in the case is over.  His good buddy Ted Stevens, convicted felon from Alaska agreed, no word from the hair-piece in Illinois.

bush-legacyBush loyalists announced this week that they will try to rewrite history …. Yawn.

It will read as follows:  The Colonial Period – Basic thirteen colonies, first states, the common wealth.  The Civil War Period – Brother against Brother and the abolishment of Slavery.  The New Deal Period – FDR a chicken in every pot, Hoover Dam, let’s build a National Park.  The Deficit Period – The Bush years and the hallucination period of the Republican Party.

A great many websites are calling for impeachment proceedings and justice to be served on the Bush Wrecking Crew for crimes against the American People and the U.S. Constitution.  The lynch mob mentality seems to be thriving in Cyberspace these days.  But the public generally has a short memory when it comes to stuff like this.

For instance:  JFK ordered the assassination of a foreign leader, Vietnam’s Ngo Dinh Diem, and Ronald Reagan, the paternal father of the Republican Party sold arms illegally to the anti-communists in Nicaragua.  Our sainted FDR who has recently been resurrected from the dead sent thousands of his fellow Americans into captivity after Pearl Harbor because of their Japanese ancestry and stood by and did nothing as their property was looted and done away with and they were illegally imprisoned in hastily erected prison camps nationwide.

No one wanted to put them on trial.  But then again, we didn’t have the Internet and instant communication in those days, now a days, we are civilized.

The American Dream (that is a hoot) is now shrinking.  The average home in America is now getting smaller as home builders, trying to deal with the current recession are switching to building smaller homes. Our home is about 2200 sq ft, and believe me that is too much for just two people, but it worked really good as a family.

We bought in the seventies and at that time I figured it was the perfect home.  It was our dream home, built in the middle of the golf-community.  A famous golf course, you may have heard of it:  Putt-Putt.  It’s a beautiful place, our deck overlooks the third, fourth, seventh, twelfth, and fifteenth fairways, the windmill, and the clown’s mouth.

Me and the Miss-us, we is living the dream!

One in seven American’s are not able to read this story.  Literacy gains are offset by some losses in some states and a long awaited federal study just released finds disturbing facts about our neighbors.  Some 32 million adults in the USA about one in seven are saddled with such low literacy skills that it would be tough for them to figure out a basic story line.

Most are capable of reading a comic book or a children’s picture book and have difficulty with a medications prescription side-effects leaflet.  And that is just the statistic’s for the House of Representatives, no word on the Senate at this time.

A New York Reporter admitted this week that he is a Socialist, but then again, when he went to work for the New York Times, I kind of already figured that one out myself.  Dancing With The Stars is gearing up for another season of celebrity ballroom hoofer competition, March 9th.  Get your reservations in early and don’t miss out.  American Idol continues with its 8th season and the catter-walling continues, isn’t it amazing how time flies when you are singing off key.

Or you can do like this guy in Stockholm Sweden who desired to be in the Guinness Book Of Records.

How fitting is that a drama in which a super-spy has to race the clock that he would help a fan break the record for non-stop TV watching?  Suresh Joachim has broken his own Guinness Record, clocking 72 hours in Stockholm of straight, consistent television watching.  He watched three seasons of Fox’s 24 and allegedly drank 25-30 cups of coffee.  His “previous record was 69 hours 48 minutes.”

Did you catch that?  “His previous record was …. ” — he had done this before.  Not only is this stupid, but he subjected himself to a new record watching “re-runs!”  Now that has to be dumb.

Get a life.

Okay, one more and then I am outta here!  California, where else?  A California man has been ordered not to tidy up the highway near his home.  Mario Mendz volunteered two months ago to collect litter along Route 54 near San Diego, California.  However, as the state’s adopt-A-Highway program requires a permit and that program is currently under review, he has been threatened with a citation if he picks up trash without the required permit.  Now tell me again, I forget, “why is it we need good government in this country?”

Life goes on …

000

“The cartoon courtesy of Center for American Progress” (online)

January 9, 2009

Chilled Out

Filed under: Oklahoma,Recent,Uncategorized — ldsrr91 @ 1:53 am
Tags: , , , , , , ,

waterfallto7iw2

Here is one that I evidently forgot to post, so in the Spirit of Christmas ………

Freezing cold here, if you are somewhere with “bone chilling cold” stare deep into the above picture, click your heels together three times …. Oh, hahahahaha.  What a sick puppy I seem to be early in the morn.

This morning I once again awoke to “pressing serious issues.”  Such as:  Is Paula Abdul going to be back for another year of American Idol?  And the answer is yes!   Which should relieve the fears and anxiety of about five Americans all total.

The rumors of her leaving are not true, they say she will be with the show until it’s eventual end which should be in 2012 when the Mayan Calendar runs out.  Kelly Clarkson another Idol graduate, has a new CD coming out, the title cut, “My life sucks without you.”

Now isn’t that special?  If she will cut one for George Bush that says, “How Can I Miss You If You Won’t Go Away?” I will be down there today, cash in hand to purchase it.

Here is a good read for a cold day.

The Urban Hermit (St. Martin’s Press, $24.95), Sam MacDonald, 36, reveals how he paid off $15,000 in debt, stopped boozing and lost 160 pounds.   How about a life of only consuming 800 calories a day – not exactly overdoing it in the snack department.  It’s not something people should do. They could get hurt. I believe that was the quote.  And I could have lost just as much weight on 1,600 calories a day. I had to cut everything out because give me an inch and I’ll take a case of beers.

Explaining what drove him to become an “urban hermit”?  Bills. They were driving him insane.  Don’t think you have the Lone Ranger Syndrome on that one Sam.

So how does a guy who had great parents and a wonderful education. (He graduated from Yale in 1995.) find himself living on the ragged edge of life.  When your life goes screwy, I guess there is a tendency to want to explain it.

Which brings me to this, how come I am not selling something at $24.95 at Barnes & Nobles or jumping on Oprah’s couch.  Now here is one that is really sad, “you take an extended holiday, so you ask a friend to write your blog while you are gone.  No problem, except one, “the blog actually gets better with the guest host while you are away.”  Now “that” is sad eh?

Oh well, drink a Coke and have a smile.  Anyone seen the new Coke bottles they introduced over the holidays?  Pretty cool. I can no longer drink Coke, as I am diabetic, but I bought a couple of bottles to photograph just for you … because you are sooooooo special.

dsc00183Did you know that 63% of all shopping mall Santa’s have a college degree and 29% of them are fluent in sign language.  Yeppers, it is true.  It has to be, I read it on the internet.

Here is something else that is Christmas related.  The #1 googled item on Google Christmas morning …. IHOP … International House Of Pancakes, seems no one was cooking breakfast on Christmas morning, everyone was going to IHOP, I have forgotten how many millions of hits they got, but it was considerable.

Man, I just love stooooopid criminals!

Los Angeles – A graffiti artist who posted incriminating videos of himself on YouTube has pleaded guilty to felony vandalism. CyrusYazdani, 25, was recorded spraying his moniker “Buket” on buses, bridges and overpasses. He pleaded guilty to 32 counts of vandalism and was sentenced to 314 days in county jail, 256 hours of graffiti removal and five years of probation.

Talk about a traumatic youthful experience.

Columbia South Carolina – Police said two robbers shoved an 8-year-old inside his home at gunpoint and stole his Christmas presents. The boy’s mother said the men grabbed her son as he walked to his bus stop, pushed him inside their home and took his PlayStation and four games. She said they also took her wallet and cellphone, her uncle’s wallet and a pair of pants.

All the news is not bad, there is a ray of hope in all of this.

Joplin Missouri – An anonymous donor dropped five cashier’s checks for $10,000 each into Salvation Army kettles at two Wal-Mart stores. It’s the fifth straight year someone has given $50,000 to the Salvation Army without taking credit. The remitter identified the giver as “Santa Claus.” Capt. Jason Poff called the contributions “tremendous” in light of the economic downturn.

Say what you want, but it appears that Arizona is truly a fun place to live.

Tempe – A group of Santa impersonators are on the naughty list of law enforcement officials. A YouTube video shows four people dressed as Kris Kringle, white beards and red hats included, covering speed and red light enforcement cameras with boxes and decorating them with Christmas wrap.

At the end of the video is the message: “Ho, ho, ho! Death to the surveillance state! Free movement for all people!”

If and when I ever decide to move from OKC, I am heading for Arizona.

000

January 6, 2009

Tuesday Morning Epiphany

Filed under: Oklahoma,Recent — ldsrr91 @ 4:45 am
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Tapped Out In Phoenix

The state could run out of money to pay its bills as early as next month and may have to borrow in the short term for the first time since World War II. An analysis by the state treasurer’s office shows that Arizona’s fund balance could dip to negative $50 million on Feb. 23 or by mid-March under a more optimistic scenario.  Not long ago, California was reporting the same problem, no money in the till.  It is amazing, they collect all of this money, tons of money, and they never seem to have enough.

One More Fallen Flag

Griffin Georgia – Spalding County officials said a textile plant that employs about 350 people is expected to close next month and move its operations to Brazil. The plant, formerly called Dundee Mills, manufactures towels and other textiles and was once the county’s largest employer. It is operated by Fort Mill, S.C. based Springs Industries.  Will the last person to leave America, please turn off the lites.

What’s In A Name — Evidently big bucks.

When I registered www.BoxcarOkie.com it cost me $15, why?  Because no one else had it, no one else wanted it, and I thought it up.  Unfortunately for President Bush and his handlers, it didn’t work out that way.  George W. Bush’s presidential  library domain name has been retrieved after a Web developing company accidentally let it expire – and it apparently came at a high price.

Raleigh, N.C.- based Illuminati Karate paid less than $10 for the www.GeorgeWBushLibrary.com domain name and sold it back earlier this year for $35,000 to the library’s contracted Web developers, Yuma Solutions, said George Huger, lead Web developer for Illuminati Karate.

Like P.T. Barium was fond of saying, “There is a sucker born every minute.”

The George W. Bush Presidential Center – which will eventually include a library, museum and public policy institute – is being built at Southern Methodist University in Dallas.  Although it is built on the grounds of an institution of higher learning, it will be staffed with people who are not professors or scholars, but rather, government lackeys.  I suppose most of the information contained will be of the “fiction variety.”

If you are a big Bush fan, come on back at Six O’clock we are going to have a doozy for you it is entitled … “It’s On The Tip Of My Tongue.” … Come early in order to get those choice seats up front, beat the rush, Six O’clock tonight.

Class Act – Pay Attention General Motors

Hyundai is allowing consumers with problems to return their cars to the dealers.  If the purchasers have problems with their job (lose it) or undergo an adverse life occurrence such as physical disability or self employment bankruptcy.  Now here is a class act, General Motors could learn a lot from these people, but of course, after losing market share to them anyway, I suppose they already have.

What’s On The Tube

Early converter purchasers for the new converter boxes that will hook everyone up to the new television network next month are finding that the picture is a lot clearer.  Everything is becoming crystal clear and they are finding a nice surprise in the quality.  About 93% of the nations 1,759 stations are now broadcasting in digital.  Word has it there is hope that there might be an improvement in programming, and actually something worth watching on NBC, but reports on that are still kind of sketchy.

Turn it Off Save Some Money For Your Bail

A man in Port St. John Florida, was jailed for allegedly stealing electricity from Florida Power and Light. The house was decked out with Christmas lights on top of that. Neighbors said, at night, it was one of the brightest homes on the block and investigators said the man living there didn’t have to pay a dime for the power.

He is accused of stealing electricity for months for his home, by rewiring the inside of the meter and then closing it up and replacing a red tag to conceal the change from meter readers.

Electricity theft can cost power companies millions of dollars, passed on to other consumers, and they say re-wiring live power lines could end up costing you your life.  Now as we understand it, he is being held in the County jail on charges of grand theft of services and petty theft. Not only does he have his power bill to pay, he needs $25,000 to bond out of jail.

Pow!  Pow!  Halt — It’s the Police.

Oakland California’s BART’s (Bay Area Rapid Transit) police chief asked for patience from the public on Sunday after video footage surfaced showing one of his officers fatally shooting an unarmed man who was on the ground on a station platform on New Year’s Day.  This plea of compassion came after an attorney for the dead man’s family said he planned to sue the transit agency for $25 million.

After California police officers accidentally made the unarmed man lie face down on the floor and accidentally handcuffed him, and then one of them accidentally draws his gun and accidentally shoots the guy in the back.  Bad Cop No Donut.

Georgia Crack Down

Atlanta soon could be the latest city to outlaw sagging pants. The City Council is set to consider the issue at its weekly meeting.  Council members are proposing the new law, which would “make it illegal to expose one’s undergarments in a public setting.” The measure would be included in an ordinance already on the books which bans simulated acts of intercourse and exposing or touching one’s genitals or breasts.

Atlanta must be a fun place, eh?

If approved, anyone found in violation of the rule could be fined up to $100 and given eight hours of “work on the public streets of the city.” (most likely sweeping up old used condoms)  Proponents have called the sagging pants, crack showing, snoop dawg droopy drawers issue “an epidemic” and “a major concern” as the issue has been debated nationwide and similar laws have been passed.

Critics say the law unfairly targets youths of color.  Perhaps so, but the rest of us are sick of looking at yo nasty crack cause you are too lazy to hike up your pants.  I say go for it and make the fine $500.

It is just not worth it

One in ten young people in Britain think life is not worth living, a report published today has claimed.  Of 2,000 16- to 25-year-olds surveyed for the Prince’s Trust, 12% said their life was “meaningless”, while 14% thought “life has no purpose”.

One in five felt like crying “often” or “always” and nearly half (47%) felt regularly stressed.  Which really reminds me of my sex life right now, but that is another post altogether.

The worst affected were those not in education, employment or training (In the U.K as I understand it, this group of people are called Neets). Thirty seven per cent of Neets polled claimed to be down or depressed compared to 27% of all those surveyed by the polling body

Further reasons for unhappiness included feeling no sense of community, not feeling safe to walk around at night and not having anything to do.  Having a dead-end job was also cited as a major contributing factor. The findings revealed “an increasingly vulnerable generation.”  However, over 70% of all those surveyed and 60% of Neets said they felt happy with life.

We now have more TV channels than you can shake a digital box at, all offering total crap, thereby proving that choice and quality in broadcasting are inversely proportional to each other.  We have cell phones with cameras that have enabled juvenile thugs to go around filming each other attacking total strangers and sending the images to their equally reprobate friends via My Space, Utube.

We have removed the Pledge of Allegiance, God and Prayer from our schools.

Require that children in school speak a language other than their own; memorize instruction manuals written in Klingon by Martians who failed their high school course in intergalactic languages.

And any time they routinely bark at us, we give them every gadget, widget, and thing under the sun they desire … And we wonder why they are unhappy?

Well gotta run, time to mix my prescriptions and read Margaret & Helen.

000

December 11, 2008

Nobody Cares About Your Dreams

Filed under: Oklahoma,Recent,Uncategorized,writing — ldsrr91 @ 11:37 am
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recent-shots-006

Coffee is good this morning, a little bite to it, but that is okay, it is cold here and uncomfortable.  Americans drink about 400 million cups of coffee per day, that is a lot of coffee, that is an ocean of coffee.  Which is kind of strange, when you stop to think about it.  Coffee has no nutritional value that I know of, why we drink it is truly somewhat of a mystery.

Four out of five adults in the U.S. drink coffee every day.  I know one person who doesn’t, his favorite quote about coffee is this.  “How can something that smells so dog-gone good when it is perculating in the pot, taste so rotten afterwards.” He is not a caffeine junky like the rest of us.

We average about two cups per day in this country, per consumer, that would be about 1/3 of the worlds’ supply of the elixir.  I understand that coffee contains 100 milligrams of caffeine; a cup of espresso has 200.

No More Free Toasters

You can now add Credit Unions to the list of people signing up for the bailout money, they applied for and received $40 billion worth this week to bolster against mortgage losses.  You know the other day I was sitting at the beanery waiting for them to bring me my order and I was staring out the window.  And I got that glazed over look in my eye and the wife said to me, “I know I shouldn’t but I am gonna anyway.  What are you thinking about”?”

And I said, “Oh, I was thinking back a long time ago, when we were young and stupid and we invested in that Ponzi scheme.  You remember that?” and she said, “Oh Lord, whatever made you think of that?”

For all of you that are not aware, a Ponzi scheme is a get rich deal, most of the time called a “Pyramid Scheme” and the people, who get in early, make tons of money, the others, well they don’t do so well.  They mainly lose their investment.  We were in the later group, we lost, about $1,000 and interest, and I made every stinking payment on it, 36 of them suckers.  (I told you we were young and stupid, we didn’t even have the money to lose, we borrowed our entry level amount … Now that was really d-u-m-b.)

So here is the deal.

I am thinking about how it is that I did something really dumb, really stupid, and I lost what I considered a large amount of money.  AND NO ONE … NOT ONE SOLITARY SOUL CAME FORWARD TO BAIL ME OUT … I HAD TO PAY EVERY DAMN DIME OF IT … AND I HAD TO TAKE MY KNOCKS THE HARD WAY. Since then, several lucrative offers have presented themselves, and we always say “no thank you.”  Our official position is that we have had so many good deals in the past, we cannot afford any more of them now.

When do WE get bailed out … Who is going to help us out … those of us that are struggling.

Business has gotten so bad here lately, even the people who were not planning on paying for it anyway, are not buying. I asked my neighbor about it and he said, “The bible says cast thy bread upon the waters and it will be returned to you 100 fold.”  Which is fine, but what are you supposed to do with 100 soggy wet loaves of bread?  When I was young, my paycheck would burn a hole in my pocket, these days it isn’t enough to keep my pocket warm.  It is truly a shame that at this point in life, you have only one regret.  And that would be that you have not accumulated enough cash to be able to fly on a moment’s notice to Japan to bid on Paul’s Sergeant Peppers uniform.

The Governor will see you now … Please have your checkbook handy

Corruption has tainted politics in Chicago (Illinois in general) since the prohibition days and Albert Scarface Capone, but the arrest Tuesday of Illinois Governor Brad Blagojevich revealed alleged conspiracy and bribery schemes so brazen that the veteran investigators and prosecutors could barely hold their revulsion.  Government for sale .. to the highest bidder, the American Way, kind of makes you proud doesn’t it?  Shades of Bill Clinton when he was governor of Arkansas.  When the highway patrol stopped you there, they would say, “Have your wife get out of the car, so the governor can frisk her.”

Here is another one out of Illinois for you. In Springfield, Zachary Holloway, 20, and a pal were arrested and charged with breaking into one car and stealing, among other things, a motorcycle helmet, then attempting to break into another car.

To try to get into the second car, Holloway put on the helmet, stood back from the car, and charged into it, head-butting a window, unsuccessfully, twice.  They were arrested and booked that day.

Finally coming clean

Some 20 years after the Exxon Valdez oil spill, plaintiffs in the case are getting what’s left of the money they were originally awarded, the Anchorage Daily News reports.  Some plaintiffs will get amounts ranging from several hundred dollars to $100K or more.  Most had just about given up hope of getting anything from it at all.

Now lets see, you take an amount of money, put it in the bank and allow it to sit, for say …. Oh let’s just say “twenty years” … that might accumulate enough in interest where you end up never paying a fine at all.  Just thinking outside the box.  Naw, “our friends in the oil and gas industry” wouldn’t do that to us … would they?

Oh well it could be worse (how could it possibly be worse?) you could be in your car, stranded on an Alaskan highway and the only human within 200 miles is a Cro-Magnon Woman wearing a torn parka who communicates through a series of bizarre grunts, winks and gesticulations and she not only comes to your rescue, but you have to “talk to her” all the way back to town.

Lying crooks what is this world coming to?

In the city that launched the national crime-stopper movement, Albuquerque, New Mexico, which pays informants for tips that help police solve local crimes there could be a possible snag.  It appears now the highly successful program designed for, “people that hang out with crooks to do part time work” might be providing the cops with “less than truthful information” for the rewards.

It appears that even in hard times, the low life’s will resort to less than honest approaches at generating funds.  Police are now saying that they are going to have to be more careful because they “might be playing games with us” in order to get the money.  Geeze, do you think so?  Bad cop, bad cop, no donut.

Man, I would like a shot at that myself.

Barre, Vermont. A man who hit Governor Douglas in the face with a pie during an Independence Day parade will spend five days on a work crew for the prank.  Matthew Manning, 23, pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct and apologized.  Manning, dressed as Santa Claus ran up to Douglas during the Montpelier parade and threw the pie before being tackled by the mayor and being detained.  I would like to pay this man’s fine, if there is one, but I am curious.  “Santa Claus at an Independence Day celebration, what were you thinking?”

Time to wrap this one up.

If you attend the job fair/money seminar at the Holiday Inn this weekend?  When the speaker begins the seminar by saying, “By a show of hands, how many of you don’t know the difference between a stock and a bond?” and you are the only one with your hand in the air?

Go immediately to the Lobby … American Xpress or Bank Of America are looking for you.  You might have a new job Monday morning.

Who says things aren’t looking up.

000

We are still valiantly trying to hit “one million” visits by March 12th of 2009, please help us to achieve this goal.  Post the address anywhere you like (www.boxcarOkie.com), tell all your friends, ask them to just stop by and check it out.  Help us to make this happen!

November 26, 2008

Frost On The Pumpkin

Filed under: Oklahoma,random,Recent,Uncategorized — ldsrr91 @ 2:52 am
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I am a little late with my hauling today, please excuse me.  Listening to “Oldies on the Radio” so this could get a little strange … Which is an Oxymoron for this blog to be sure.  Strange is my by-line.

Most accidents happen in the home

Woke up to a rather chilly house this morning and it sure has cooled down here in the Heart Land.  This morning I was recalling my first winter on my own in Oklahoma.  I left home at an early age and went into the service, returning from the service I did what most guys did, located a job, found a place, and kind of settled in.

See there, all of us Viet Nam Vets are not messed up.

Having lived at home all of my life, I quickly discovered that having my own place was really kind of unique and different.  My apartment, built in the fifties had a “floor furnace” it did not have Central Heat Air as with today’s modern abodes.

Not really knowing how to lite the dad-gum thing, I just kind of took it on myself to try and get it going.  Too proud to ask the landlord and yes, to stuuuupid to not try.

So I take the inspection cover off and I turn on the gas … first bad move.

The furnace in the floor has a two inch inspection port on the very top of it.  Now here it comes … Second bad move … I start dropping lighted matches into the hole, all the time, staring straight down the port to see if it lites.

Several attempts were unsuccessful, meanwhile, the chamber is rapidly filling with raw gas. Well, you don’t have to be a rocket scientist or the next contestant on Jeopardy to figure out what happens next.

The floor furnace comes alive with a boom something akin to a explosion in a coal mine, and whoosh, and I do mean ….. WHOOSH!… at that time, this incredibly beautiful, rather blue looking flame, not to mention extremely hot as I recall, comes out of this hole that I am staring in, at about the speed of light!

No more eyebrows, eyelashes, and I now have a nice kind of tomato hot chilly pepper “red color” about my face and neck.  Which believe me was the talk of the lunch table for about ten days afterwards.

Just thought I would share that with you and what my grandfather said to me, “Son!  What happened to your face?”  So I told him and then he remarked something to grandmother about me being her son’s child or something.

So for god’s sake, be careful lighting up the furnace y’all, it can be a real butt kicker if done incorrectly.  So much for the “public safety” portion of today’s post.

Politics’ that pay off

Rhode Island state senator John Orabona claimed an annual pension of $106,000 when he retired in 1995, based on 79 years worth of state service.  Only one problem:  He was 51 years old at the time.  So how did he acquire more years in pension credits than he’d been alive?  He found and exploited a loophole in the state’s pension legislation that made it possible for him to combine benefits from various jobs.  Must be nice, the world of politics.

Fannie Mae Comes Clean

Mortgage financing company Fannie Mae acknowledged this week that it has spent more that $6,000 on a golf outing after it was seized by the government this year.  But it said it is halting similar company sponsored events.  I just love it when they come clean after the fact and it makes me wonder just how it is that they can manage to keep their shirts on with those big hearts that they have.

Open Wide

This year’s ozone hole over Antarctica was the fifth-biggest on record and reached a mximum area of 10.5 million square miles which scientists consider “moderately large.”  Gawd, wonder what a Big Hole would consist of?  Last year, it was 9.7 million square miles, smaller than this year, and that was approximately about the size NORTH AMERICA.  Think about that … that would be considered adequately large I guess, which my wife often uses to describe my mouth or behavior at parties.

Reverse Escape

I just love stupid criminals, they rock!  As my grandson would say.  Police in Nassau County, New York said a man, the brother of a man already incarcerated, broke into jail because of his displeasure with the visitors policy.  He pleaded not guilty to trespassing and other charges and was ordered held in leui of $6K in bail.  His lawyer said that his client was “going thru a lot of emotional turmoil.”  Now you know the economy and things are getting bad, when people are actually trying to BREAK INTO OUR JAILS.  I recommend probation and Prozac for at least 6 months.

Check the bag

Ramsey Minn.  Parents found methamphetamine and $85 in cash in the Halloween stash of their 7 year old son.  When they asked him about it, he replied, “Some bigger kid ran by him and asked if he wanted some candy” so I took it.  When I was twelve, I dressed up in women’s apparel, and went as my mother.  I just stood at the door, and critized everyone who came by about what they were wearing.

No small wonder … Drill this

In a review of the 55,000 federal oil and gas leases issued to energy companies by the Interior Department from 1987 to 1996, the General Accountability Office found that the majority expired without being drilled and an even smaller amount produced oil and natural gas.  This boys & girls is why drilling for oil is risky … 15% of nothing … equals nothing.

Do you still have the number for the truck driving school?

“I just thank God for this opportunity that I have to be your governor” ~ Sarah Palin, arriving home in Alaska Well, yeah.  I mean, uh, she’d be like – unemployed – otherwise, wouldn’t she?  It’s a downright shame when the “Greatest Nation On Earth” cannot find people to lead it.  The only people in America these days that know what is really going on are driving cabs and cutting hair.

I don’t know about you … but I am ready for a change … Bring it on.

As usual, thanks for stopping by and if you have any comments that you wish to leave go ahead.  The wave seems to have crested and things are back to normal now, or at least something that resembles normal.  Kind of nice opening up the email box and not finding 200 messages.  We continue to receive our fair share of cranky, attitude packing misfits, but they just go to comment oblivion now, this is an adult site, we don’t cater much to ill bred children and their cheap email threats or poorly written diatribes.

Oh my gosh, look what time it is, it’s time for Family Feud, I am outta here.

000

November 5, 2008

Obama – Change Is A Coming

Filed under: Oklahoma,random,Recent,Uncategorized — ldsrr91 @ 2:10 am
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Obama Wins It!

Congratulations are in order for a long, hard, protracted nasty fight.  How do you spell relief?  O-B-A-M-A- WINS.  Good Morning America!  Here is another “Brain Freeze” from the middle of the country.  I found this amusing, came across this yesterday.

Willie King made a bad mistake.  He decided to snatch a wallet from the coat of an elderly woman in Greenwich Village, New York City.  The woman turned out to be a 94-year old Yolanda Gigante, mother of Vincent “The Chin” Gigante, reputed head of the Genovese crime family.

King was caught a short time later and as soon as he learned who he’d mugged he agreed to plead guilty to grand larceny.  His sentence was determined to be one to three up river in prison.  At his sentencing hearing his lawyer commented, “My client your honor admitted his guilt at the earliest opportunity, because he wants to put this incident behind him, and he hopes the Gigante family will, too.”

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Have you been reading all this hoopla on people with tattoo’s?  Municipalities and city governments, even some universities are now demanding that people cover up their tattoo’s when at work.  But there is a way around that, you can now get FAKE TATTOO SLEEVES if nothing more than to rankle your boss.

Now you can get “inked” by night and still keep your day job with our “tattoo sleeves”. The tattoo is printed directly on the stretchable fabric sleeves fabric which is a machine washable nylon. They come in pairs; wear one or both.  Wonder if they have the naked babe like on the Semi-truck mud-flaps?  Please have your credit card and expiration date handy … Every offensive thing you can think of, all at your fingertips, is this a great country or what?

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Cedar Rapids Iowa – A jury awarded more than $55,000 total to two former teachers who said they were illegally strip searched after they protested against President Bush in 2004. It was the second trial for Alice McCabe and Christine Nelson, who were initially awarded a total of $750,000. A judge lowered it to $75,000 and told the women they could accept it or have a second trial.  They agreed on the later, and I hope every dime of it comes out of Bush or Cheney’s paycheck.

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Not long after the wind turbines began to spin in March near Gerry Meyer’s home, his son Robert, 13, and wife, Cheryl, complained of headaches.  They have trouble sleeping, and Cheryl Meyer, 55, sometimes feels a fluttering in her chest. Gerry is sometimes nauseated and hears crackling.

The culprit, they say, is the whooshing sound from the five industrial wind turbines near the 6-acre spread where they have lived for 37 years. “I don’t think anyone should have to put up with this,” says Gerry Meyer, who compares the sound to a helicopter or a jet taking off.

As more turbines are built, the noise they create is stirring debate. Industry groups such as the American Wind Energy Association say there’s no proof they make people sick, but complaints of nausea, insomnia and other problems have surfaced near wind farms across the USA.  If my memory serves me correctly, I remember the same problems with people who lived too close to high intensity power transmission towers in the sixties and seventies.

So now we have a new ailment Wind Turbine Syndrome (WTS) an industrial plague with a new scientific name.   It is man-made and easily fixed.  Proper Propeller setbacks are the best cure.  There are at last count, almost 15,000 wind turbines in the USA, and most people live near them without incident.

Isn’t it amazing how we can come up with a scientific reason almost immediately for just about anything?  I always like it when we can readily come up with some kind of logical explanation for that which is not easily explained.  WTS, PMS, ADDD, we are so quick to find the appropriate politically correct abbreviation.

Like PMS … I asked my doctor, how come we call it PMS?

And he said “Mad Cow Disease” was already taken.

(Yeah I know, don’t write me any letters)

Wash your hands, folks, especially you ladies.  A new study found that women have a greater variety of bacteria on their hands than men do.  That is the good news, now here is the bad.  Everybody has more types of bacteria than the researchers expected to find.  So the Politicians aren’t the only folks in town with dirty hands these days, contrary to popular opinion.

“The sheer number of bacteria species detected on the hands of the study participants was a big surprise, and so was the greater diversity of bacteria we found on the hands of women,”   The researchers aren’t sure why women harbored a greater variety of bacteria than men, but have suggested it may have to so with the acidity of the skin. Men it was noted, generally have more acidic skin than women.

So, all you big, burly NFL-types, remember this the next time you decide to make a lunch outta your fingernails.  Bottom of the page rolling up, need to wrap this up and get on to other things.

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Yesterday at the café, the waitress looked at me and asked, “Have you voted yet?” and I replied, “No, later on this afternoon, you?” She smiled a big smile and said, “Yes!” So out of idle curiosity, I asked her, “Who did you vote for?”

Her smile quickly disappeared and she got very reserved, unwilling to tell me her choice, so sensing her apprehension I said, “It’s okay, who did you vote for?” She smiled and said, “McCain.”

Then I said, “Good for you girl, everyone should vote and I am glad that you did.”

Perhaps this special moment in time will be the vehicle that will change America I don’t know.  But a person should never have to be apprehensive or fearful of telling another person in this country who it was they voted for.  I cannot remember an election in my lifetime that has been so tense, so mean spirited, so disruptive for the country as a whole.  It is my profound hope that somehow, someway, something good comes out of this for our country.

As I have in the past made it perfectly clear, “I don’t give a damn about politics or politicians” but I do love America.  And I will fully support anyone or any thing, that will preserve the American way of life, for not only me, but my grandchildren, my friends and neighbors.  This particular mindset has a name, it is called patriotism, a phrase that has become old hat, passé’, relegated to the back burner of the stove here lately.

Our friends overseas in Europe should be happy, perhaps now their collective newspapers and media outlets will give them some news of what is happening in their respective countries, instead of shoving American politics down their throat each and every day.  So as you can see, some good has come out of this already, there is no telling where it will lead us to in the future.

Like Yogi Berra, retired Coach of the New York Yankee’s,  was quoted as saying, “When you come to the fork in the road, you can go both ways*.”

Congratulations Mr. Obama on your victory, now roll up your sleeves, WE have a lot of work to do.

000

RELATED: Baracks House (audio)

*  Yogi lived on a Cul-de-Sac and the fork in the road led to his house, by going either left or right.

October 28, 2008

Juggling Reality

Filed under: humor,Oklahoma,politics,random,Recent,Uncategorized,writing — ldsrr91 @ 6:15 am
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Excuse me, would it be alright if we ….

Dover Delaware – A lawyer representing a condemned ax murderer told the state Supreme Court that prison officials violated state law by adopting a new lethal-injection protocol without allowing for public review or comment. An attorney for the Department of Correction argued that its policies and procedures are confidential and not routinely subject to disclosure. This is a new wrinkle in the fabric of society, getting pre-authorized permission and approval in order to execute an “AX Killer?”  Give me a break.

Could not happen to a nicer guy.

OJ Simpson is suffering through agonizing drug withdrawal behind bars says the National Enquirer. Simpson, recently convicted of armed robbery for trying to steal some of his old sports memorabilia suffers from severe arthritis because of old football injuries and was taking large doses of painkillers. Prison doctors have cut back on those medications, leavening Simpson hobbling and angry. “Sometimes he screams at his jailers, demanding pills,” a source tells the newspaper, “but his cries are being ignored.”  Welcome to your own personal hell OJ, enjoy your stay.

Trouble in Paradise.

There is now valid proof as to why Hawaii is the most expensive place in the U.S. to live. Honolulu – More Hawaii homeowners than ever are falling behind on mortgage payments; 594 home foreclosures were logged in September. The figure from Realty-Trac is more than three times the number for September 2007. A spokesman said the increase pushes Hawaii from 34th in the nation for foreclosures to 20th.

Gettin Tight In Suburbia

Coeur d’Alene, Idaho – Sales of booze are up at state-run stores in northern Idaho. State Liquor Dispensary Superintendent Dyke Nally said people are avoiding costlier bar and restaurant tabs and doing more parties at home to save money. Personally, I am all for people staying home to imbibe and make a fool of themselves. And please remember, “Friends do not let friends drive drunk.” If they insist, then you should shave their eyebrows and put them on a bus to Chicago. It is a public service, and actually quite entertaining at the same time.  Speaking of buses? (Nice blend huh) Check this out.

Someone needs to remove her head from her you know what or head back home … We don’t need MORE twisted science.

Just when you thought it could not get any worse. In an election that has been fought on an astoundingly low cultural and intellectual level, with both candidates pretending that tax cuts can go like peaches and cream with the staggering new levels of federal deficit, and paltry charges being traded in petty ways, and with Joe the Plumber becoming the emblematic stupidity of the campaign, it didn’t seem possible that things could go any lower or get any dumber. But they did last Friday, when, at a speech in Pittsburgh, Gov. Sarah Palin denounced wasteful expenditure on fruit-fly research, adding for good xenophobic and anti-elitist measure that some of this research took place “in Paris, France” and winding up with a folksy “I kid you not.” [...] More >>>

LOOKS LIKE THE SAME OLD CIRCUS TO ME

Turning Off The Juice

Concord New Hampshire . The state plans to turn off more than half of the 621 highway lights along Interstate 95 in the Portsmouth area and along Interstate 93 in Hooksett and Manchester. It said flipping the switches will save energy and about $250,000 a year. We did that last year, we turned the heat down, shut off the lights, we sat in the dark, my cup cake and I, froze our hinny’s off, and we saved twelve bucks.

Check The Garage

Fayetteville Arkansas – Police have arrested an armored car driver who had reported that the truck he drove was stolen by men who took him hostage. Police recovered nearly $500,000 from the residence of Brandon Whitehouse, 21, after he told investigators he acted alone. Whitehouse is charged with theft and filing a false police report. Kind of like the guy who got caught with fifteen pounds of smoke and claimed the C.I.A. planted it on him … that one didn’t fly either.

Better Living Thru Chemistry

San Francisco – An organic chemistry student at the University of California, Santa Cruz, pleaded no contest to heroin possession after police found drug-laced beer in his garage. Chaz Renzelman, 28, said he created the concoction by adding a handful of poppy pods to his homemade beer to improve the flavor. Renzelman was sentenced to a drug diversion program.

A Rude Awakening

A Pennsylvania woman was asleep in her bed last week when a large chunk of ice exploded thru the ceiling and hit her on the forehead. Mary Ann Foster, 66, was left with a large lump, and said that she could easily have been killed if the projectile hadn’t broken into pieces as it passed through the roof of her house. Authorities say the ice, which Foster saved most likely fell from a passing plane, but Foster isn’t so sure. “There is a little fish smell to it,” she says. “Which is weird.” And now this Tuesday, I have a totally new definition of the word “weird.”

Hard Times In Texas

Things are so bad of the seven gift shops in Crawford, Texas, that once sold George W. Bush souvenirs, three have gone broke and only one still maintains regular hours. Meanwhile the White House press corps released a national policy statement on the economy just yesterday. It read: “Save a little money each month and the end of the year, you will be surprised at how little you have.”

If you are not all that crazy about this (pardon the pun) then check out what this guy in LA says the “New America” is going to be like, little eye opener here for sure. Seven more days until the Obammer Rapture.

And finally … Melt Down In The Heart Land

Psychiatric hospitals nationwide are reporting that admissions have more than doubled due to people suffering extreme stress about home foreclosures, job losses, and plunging stock prices. It appears that the appropriate response to our current reality in America, is to simply just go insane.

Have to go!  I am late for group …

000

“The cartoon courtesy of Center for American Progress” (online), Sarah Palin article Slate Online.

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