Creative Endeavors, The Home of BoxcarOkie.com

May 20, 2011

Tilting At Windmills

It seems as if “everything” shuts down during a thunderstorm.  What is the use of having all of this technology at your fingertips, if you cannot use it during certain times of the day or the week.  Tried to check my email this morning and it is not allowed, storms in the area, so therefore, information will not be distributed.  Same thing with the Dish, 200 channels, but you are relegated to sitting there watching it “search for an available transponder.”  Technology sucks.

Yesterday’s mail brought me an answer from Shell Oil Co. on my credit card snafu.  No good news to report there, and as I suspected in the beginning, “they do not care about me nor do they care about my problems.  Recently I wrote them about it and I published it here.

Yesterday the mail carrier brought me my official-unofficial-kiss off reply.

The official response was “they did not understand the nature of my problem.”  To be specific it read:  “Dear Mr. Smith   Thank you for your recent inquiry regarding your Shell account.  We are unclear on how we may assist you.  Please call us at 1-800-331  Blah-blah Yada-Yada.”  And that was it, nothing more, and I suppose, nothing forthcoming.

I mean if you cannot read, what good is a telephone call going to do?

Must be nice, to have a job, where you sit around all day and just blow people off.  No real responsibilities, most likely do not have to come in early or dress for success.  Just send off a form letter that basically says … Go Away.  I could sit down at the keyboard and fire off another missive, being very explicit (which I thought the first one was to begin with) and make it quite clear “what the nature of my problem was.”  But what is the use, they would just ignore me again.  I am trashing their card, and going back to cash sales.  Most likely I will discontinue doing business with them altogether.

Another thing I find interesting about all this, the letter was signed “S. Larson.”  I have seen this name before, when I made inquiries on a VISA card for instance.  You don’t suppose that all letters are naturally forwarded to this “S. Lawson” to answer do you?  That would be something.  I sincerely hope that when I die, I don’t get up to the Pearly Gates, walk up to a desk with an Angel sitting there and the name tag on the desk reads “S. Larson.”

If this is the case, I am going to be in some serious trouble, let me tell you.

Maybe I caught them on an “off day” or something.  Maybe they perhaps thought they were awake, but an important and overused part of their brain was asleep when the letter arrived there at the “credit card center.”  You know if you deprive rats of rest, this causes their neurons to start shutting down at random intervals.

The rats in turn, appear to be wide awake, but if you hook up little tiny electrodes to their brains this will show that the neurons responsible for eye-hand coordination are currently turned off, making it harder for them to rip sugar cubes and of course, answer letters from consumers.

Wait a minute, rats don’t have hands.  What could I possible be thinking here.

Thirty-five percent of Americans don’t get enough rest each night according to the CDC (Center For Disease Control and Prevention).  Maybe they are as my grandson is fond of saying …. “Zoned out?”

Gasoline is now on the way down, currently .16 cents below the national average here.  Wife came in yesterday and said, “Gas has gone down Honey!” as if she had some big earth shaking news, when it gets back down to say something reasonable like a buck fifty a gallon tell me about it.  At three fifty-plus per gallon, that just doesn’t seem to row my boat, I am sorry.  It sure doesn’t help having a lousy credit card from Shell Oil with a $400 limit on it either.

But they don’t understand my problem.

What they cannot tell you is why they put a $400 limit on your credit card and then turned of the pump at $376, declined the sale, and embarrassed you at the pump.  But when you have the only game in town, I guess you can do just about anything you want, that is, if your name is S. Larson.

Have a good weekend.

OOO

December 31, 2010

Out With The Old … In With The New

Titles are often a hard part of blogging, what do you call something, that is just barely a whisper in your mind?  Things are slowly returning to normal, on this, the last day of 2010.  I see the most popular post is once again, “Bikini’s Why Men Are Pigs” is #1, which really blows me away.  Why this one little post is so important, so popular, amazes me.

I read in the paper this morning that some idiot is suing WalMart for hitting a light pole in the parking lot.  Hard to believe, but he is claiming that WalMart put it there as a hazard and it is causing him untold grief, blah-blah, yadda-yadda.  You know these people who tie up the court systems with these blatantly frivolous lawsuits ought to have to pay a price for inconveniencing the rest of us.

Let say if you bring suit on a frivolous issue and the court, the judge or the jury decides it is a no brainer and throws it out, then you “automatically” should have to serve sixty days in the county jail.  That would stop a lot of this non-sense.

I am sitting in the cafe this morning writing this on my laptop and the din is terrible.  Even though I am tucked back into the farthest corner of the place, I can almost hardly hear myself think as my mother used to put it.  It is not a noise of people celebrating the holiday or the beginning of the day, it is the noise of a foreign language being spoken.  Here lately no matter where it is that I go, I cannot seem to escape it.

Let’s face it, if you are not fluent in any language other than English, then all of this in the background, breaks down to noise, nothing else.

Most likely it will get worse before it gets better, we have it seems, turned over the keys to our house to the invaders and they are outnumbering us about three to one.  Just this week I came across a blog that had a poster on it that said, “Get rid of the I word” that word being illegal.

Immigrant is an “I” word, and this year, 55,000 to 60,000 new people will be allowed into the United States “legally.”  It is even being suggested now in some circles, that those of us who are only proficient in English would benefit by learning a second language (Spanish).  No one blends in anymore, we are no longer the “melting pot” nation.  These days if you come to America, you do your best to make it a satellite of the place you recently left.  And to make matters worse, our elected officials make it easier to do this year by year.

You can however take solace in the fact that you are not alone.  Canada our neighbor to the north is paying the price for a huge flaw in their immigration policies.  That’s due to generous support for family reunification, the country is now being overrun by immigrants who’t can’t speak English or French.

Anyone who marries a Canadian can get in.  As a result, a scandalous spousal industry” has sprung up, enticing desperate Pakistanis or Somalis to pay their entire fortunes in dowry money to get their children into Canada.

After the kids get in, then the aged parents are then brought to Canada “ not because of family concerns, but because the parents will collect old-age pensions.  The United States has a similar policy, if you are illegal, but your child being born here is legal, when the child reaches the age of 18, then you are automatically legal.

Much like the United sates, the courts, hospitals, and social services in Canada now struggle to meet the needs or accommodate the new arrivals.  Perhaps we can all learn from those people down under, the Australians.

Australia, which has a strict English proficiency requirement for all immigrants and doesn’t automatically let in a citizen entire extended family.  Australia “tells immigrants that if they miss their elderly parents, they should buy a plane ticket home.

Now that sounds pretty harsh I have to admit.  But without language skills, an immigrant is cut off from mainstream society.  Which is not a great way to live, whether it be here at home in the States or Canada.  By accommodating them instead of “educating them” we are not only crippling them, but we are doing the same to the United States too.

Have a Safe and Sane New Year … See you on Monday.

OOO

April 7, 2009

Refilling the Coffers

Filed under: Oklahoma,Recent — ldsrr91 @ 3:35 am
Tags: , , , , ,

033009Figured on starting out with a article on terrorism this morning, but I lost the draft, and since I cannot produce the body of work that I desire.  I have to go to the old time stand-by that always seemed to fit the bill.

George Dubya Bush.

There is an old saying that goes something like, “Politicians are clearly out of touch with the working man and far removed from the norm of society.” I am pretty sure that this would apply to Ex-Presidents.  Mr. Bush, having just recently returned from a whirlwind tour of Canada to replenish the family coffers would come under this heading.

Last I heard, the media was reporting that he left Washington DC with an accumulated wealth of some $21 million dollars.

So for lack of something better, I find myself reading this article in the Dallas Daily that says Mr. Bush is replenishing the family stocks in this apparent time of need.  Feeling a “need to replenish” when you are sitting on a mountain of cash is somewhat out of touch.  Clearly this is out of sync with the rest of the country who at last count was suffering terribly just trying to put groceries on the table.

Mr. Bush started out in March in Calgary Canada on his first speaking engagement since leaving the presidency, most of his speeches were for small business groups.  His goal is ten speeches per year.  Which to most would seem achievable or a somewhat trivial goal.  But most have never seen Mr. Bush give a speech or a lecture.  This will be a formidable challenge for him, just lining up ten locations that are willing to sit thru one of these.

His presentations have the theme of a doorstop that could talk kind of feel to them.

Now for the poor working stiff, just imagining a life with $21 million in assets is a big stretch, unless you are a recent lottery winner.  I cannot imagine how it would feel to think “I was in need of cash, while sitting on a financial base as Mr. Bush apparently has.” Insecurity must be playing in this heavily and thus, the apparent need to hit the trail and get on the stumping path across North America.

Calgary today, Saskatchewan next, Bakersfield and Modesto … the family coffers are low … and the sky is the limit.

They say a wise man knows his limitations and I assume this is why the Ex-President is now back in Dallas and said to be writing some 1,500 words per day (now there is a spelling checker that is getting a workout).  He is writing this for his memoir, which will explain how he decided to send troops to Iraq.  His response to Hurricane Katrina, the formation of his stem-cell policy, and his relationship with his father.

After this he is scheduled to open his “library of freedom” in Texas, where rumor has it, he will “rewrite history” (as Mr. Bush see’s it).  Might be a good idea, I hear that libraries are the only place in America that are still lending.

As for today, he seems to be content to sit in his little bungalow in Dallas, rewriting the past.  Waxing nostalgic is like a grammar lesson.  You find the present tense, but the past perfect.  Which will be right in character for this man.

I suppose there will be a lot of media hoopla about this library of freedom project to open in the near future, perhaps maybe even a contest of sorts.  The X numbered visitor will receive a prize or something like that.

Grand prize?

How about a foreclosed Condo in Florida with a repo’ed GM Hummer on the driveway … that would be appropriate don’t you think?

OOO

“The cartoon courtesy of Center for American Progress” (online)

January 26, 2009

News Of The Weird

Filed under: Oklahoma,Recent — ldsrr91 @ 12:04 am
Tags: , , , , , , ,

I was supposed to post this on Friday, but a family member lost her bout with Cancer and died this weekend.  Her name was Cecil Marie Bennett and she was my aunt.  This is why this did not make it on Friday.  In memory of Marie, I post this, and trust that she is now in a pain free place, and a better all around world than the one she left.  She will be missed.

T.G.I.F. — YOU MADE IT.

Radio girl has been sending back all of these wonderful pictures of her vacation in Mexico, and doing pieces each day on who, what, when, where and why.  If you have not been checking in on them, you are missing out.  I am not in Mexico, and I am not sitting in the sun drinking shooters and wiggling my toes in the sand.  I envy her.

Boxcar doesn’t drink anymore, perhaps imbibing on a “regular basis” would improve my disposition, but in the past I have found it to be more of a detrimental nature than a positive boost.

So now I just pass on the libations, a shot of butter milk in a clean glass is about as risqué as I get.  I no longer go out on Friday nite and “get drunk and be somebody” I just stay home and glean the TV Guide.  If I was perhaps fortunate enough to be in Mexico, this is where you would find me.  LAID BACK IN MEXICO

When I get up in the morning, that is about as good as I am going to feel all day long.  Having being a refugee or survivor from the sixties, it is now my desire, to finish out what is left of my life, sober, sane, and enjoying a pretty mundane lifestyle here in the Heart Land.

In other words, I am a fairly boring person, ask my therapist.

You can reach her by going thru my HMO her name is Isis Santori-Bernstein, she is a psychic and herbal-wrap therapist from Santa Barbara, California, but now lives here in the last vast bastion of good community living left in the United States of America …. Yukon, Oklahoma.

Joe the War Correspondent. Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher, aka “Joe the Plumber,” is taking on a new job as a war correspondent. He is heading to Israel to cover the war for the conservative site PJTV.com. Wurzelbacher said his 10-day journey will help explain why Israeli forces are mounting attacks against Hamas:  I get to go over there and let their “Average Joes” share their story, what they think, how they feel – especially with, you know, world opinion. Maybe get a real story out there.

Watch it:  Last October, Wurzelbacher claimed that Obama’s victory would mean “death to Israel,” leading Fox News reporter Shep Smith to call him “frightening.” Wurzelbacher also questioned Obama’s loyalty to the U.S., and has justified the invasion and occupation of Iraq by claiming “it’s like someone coming to Jesus and becoming saved.”

Welcome home boys, thank you for your service to the country.

This cannot be true, but it apparently is.  In a change of regulations, the Pentagon began saving money by reducing “combat-injury” benefits for all except those wounded while actually fighting.  This, in examples offered by The Washington Post, Marine Cpl. James Dixon and Army Sgt. Lori Meshell were not entitled to full combat-injury coverage for their Iraq wounds.  Dixon from a roadside IED bomb and a land mine, and Meshell while diving for cover during a mortar attack.

Because neither was “actually fighting” at the time, the Pentagon says that they do not qualify.  Dixon who was denied some $16,000 recently won a reversal on his claim, and Meschell, who is drawing $1200 a month because of the change is still appealing.  And Bush stands at the podium and accepts an award from our armed services and thanks the boys (two weeks ago) and then there is this ….. What a crock.

Lousy week for comments.

I don’t know what it is, but I can leave a comment somewhere, and I suppose they come back and look me over (check the link) and then I do not get posted for some reason?  It could be that they think I am fishing for hits, which is a real hoot, when we consistently average something like 8-10k per day in visitors.

We don’t have to Phish for hits.

This week I have posted at least 8-10 comments and not one of those suckers made it thru.  All of them being totally benign and nothing of a controversial nature.  I am starting to get paranoid about all this.  Most of my posts here on WordPress.com are not being posted where they are sent, and that is hacking me off.  About one in three make it where they are “supposed to go” and that is irritating.  Thanks a lot WordPress.com. and now I have this comments thing going down.

Hello, welcome to www.Ihatebothofmyparentsandmostoftheworldtoo.com.

Please share your thought on issues, after writing your message press the “post comments” button, fill in the super secret random code of letters that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, hit your refresh browser button, stick your right finger in your left ear, click your heels together three times and make a wish … We will hold your comment in moderation until roughly when Hell Freeze’s over or until the Boston Red Sox or Detroit Lions, win a national championship, whichever comes first.

Sorry, as it is my nature to share, I thought I would give that to you to take with you for the weekend.

Finally men shoppers in Tokyo.  The Wishroom lingerie shop on Japan’s Internet shopping mall Rakuren announced that it had already sold more than 300 of its new bras specially madE for men (yes, you read that right, I said for “men” about $30 each girls, eat your hearts out girls!) since the product was launched earlier this year.  A Wishroom official told a reporter that “We’ve been getting feedback from our customers saying “We have been waiting for this for a long time.”

Warning:  This is not pretty.

Our comment lines are now open and we have operators standing by to take your remarks, all of you whose names start with A thru M are invited to dive in and voice your best.

Have a good weekend.

000

“The cartoon courtesy of Center for American Progress” (online)

December 3, 2008

Cuddling with Yangyang

Now that the election is officially over, what happens to all that money that is left over?  I was wondering, if they (the people that helped get Mr. Obama elected) will get a Christmas bonus.  It appears that everyone else is getting a wonderful package of something this year, everyone but the taxpayer that is.

I wonder how much NBC, CBS and ABC will get?  I am also noting that the stock market, ever since the election has concluded, has been in decline.  You know what the means don’t ya?

“The Stock Market is racist.”

Where is Joe Biden?  All of a sudden, he is nowhere to be found.  Could it be that because of the recent choice of Hillary he has decided to just sulk, wasn’t Old Joe picked for his “expertise in the foreign field?”  Barack Obama is “either shrewd or delusional” picking Hillary.  I don’t know what is up with that, but I cannot figure it out to save my life.

Thanks are in order.

Recently the Obama camp put out a note thanking the press for their coverage and John McCain thanked them also for that “one positive story” they ran on him last December.  I hear Ann Couter has fallen and broke her jaw, and it is now wired shut.  Rush however is reported to be doing just fine, on some days you win a few and you lose a few.

C’mon Orin are you outta your mind?

Senator Orin Hatch from Utah is proposing that outgoing President Bush give convicted felon (his new title) Ted Steven’s a pardon.  Now the door is officially kicked open to grant a pardon to a convicted felon, “for his years of faithful service to the country.”  What a crock.

The man should get probation for the rest of his natural life, he should forfeit his pension and/or benefits, and should be dismissed from the highest body in the land.  He is a disgrace, he is not a national hero.  Senator Hatch needs to sit back down in the cheap seats and be quiet.

Recently I came across this little eye-opener.

Several years ago I was in a training course on Capitol Hill in which we had an instructor from the Library of Congress. She explained that it was her job to answer any question posed by a member of Congress. She told us that the two dumbest questions she’d ever heard were printed out, framed, and hanging on her office wall.

The first was a Congressman who called one day saying he needed information “on the pros and cons of child abuse.” The second was a Senator who called at 11:15 one morning saying that he needed to know by 11:30 “what Abraham Lincoln did after leaving office.”

Dumbfounded, she told the Senator “he took a very slow train ride back to Illinois.”  For this the Senator thanked her and hung up the phone.

The instructor then turned to our class and said “THESE are the people running our country!” If she’s still alive our instructor is probably saying the same thing about Orrin Hatch today.  As much as I am afraid to say this …  “I don’t believe even Bush is this stupid to consider pardoning this guy.” … But I have been wrong about Bush before.

Don’t get sick … Man, don’t get sick.

I just finished a bout with some especially nasty stuff, at first I thought it was food poisoning but now, I am not sure.  Vomiting, diarrhea all the associated nasty stuff.  Made me think of all these poor souls in Asia, Africa, third world countries, that deal with this type of sickness on a daily basis because of bad water.  I cannot imagine how miserable life would be if this was an ongoing all the time thing, it surely was not fun for me.

And to top it off, it is very expensive these days to get sick.  Taking a look at the health care stats in the Bush/Rove era, it’s clear that most Americans have seen a decline in their health care at the same time that health insurance companies have reaped tremendous gains:

Since 2000, the ranks of the uninsured have grown by 7.2 million.  Health care premiums have doubled under Bush. Employer-sponsored health insurance premiums have risen from $5,791 in 1999 to $12,680.00 in 2008.  The fastest growing component  fastest growing component of health care is health insurers’ administrative costs.

Enrollment in Medicare private plans doubled. Through such plans, insurers “have increased the cost and complexity of the program without any evidence of improving care.”  The combined profits of the nation’s largest insurance companies and their subsidiaries increased by over 170 percent between 2003 and 2007.

Now there are two good reasons to live in Canada

First, they have socialized medicine and it is cheap, not the best, but it is reasonable.  And their courts have just ruled that if you are obese you are officially “disabled” and therefore have the right to two seats on an airliner for the price of one.  So go ahead, have that extra piece of Canadian Bacon this morning, it really doesn’t matter in Canada.

Bad Week to be a Russian

Global market forces are starting to apply in the Soviet Union and a recent survey has found that the average Russian is drinking about six times less vodka due to financial hardships.  The government has to to do something for these people trying to afford the most basic essentials of life.

And finally as promised yesterday (Tuesdays Funnies).

Anthropomorphism, after a Chinese college student climbed into a zoo pen so he could hug a panda  bear.  “Yangyang was so cute and I just wanted to cuddle him” said the student from his hospital bed.  “I didn’t expect he would attack.  I don’t remember how many times I got bit.”

Kind of reminds me of my first wife … she was so dog-gone cute and cuddly in the beginning … but towards the end … well it just brought a tear to my eye it did.

000

November 22, 2008

This N That

17367_blimp_mascot_cartoon_character_gesturing_with_his_hand_while_lying_on_his_side

Did you know, that gesturing with your hands as you speak, actually improves your memory?

It is hard on lampshades and other pieces of furniture in the home however.

My sister, does this, one time jokingly we said to her, “sit on your hands and then talk” and she could not do it, she started stuttering.

Try it.

Let’s see what is on the agenda for today?  Make history, fix economy, get puppy, end wars, measure drapes, close Guantanamo, Unify America, get milk, hire Rahm, appear bi-partisan, find a new school for the kids. Man, I am glad that I am not the president elect, writing this two-bit rag now appears to be a piece of cake.

Gimme My Change

A North Carolina woman has been awarded $3.1 million after Target employees refused to accept her $100 bill.  The cashiers not only decline the bill, they emailed her photo to police and local businesses as a suspect counterfeiter.  Her attorney says the store got off light.  “Where can we go to buy back your good name?” Evidently you cannot purchase or buy it at Target that is for sure.

(Now switch over to your best Andy Rooney mood when you read this next part)

You ever notice, how a few months back, every time you handed someone a twenty, they pulled out their little magic marker and swiped it?  Now days, they just take the money … so hungry for the cash now, they don’t care if it’s real or not.

Did you notice that all the bankers that came running and begging for government money didn’t have a problem raising fee’s and interest rates afterwards?  And that all the Stock Market crowd are giving out end of the year bonuses for doing a sorry job …

While we are at it, did you ever notice how the money changers at ChinaMart scoop your money up, the first time, and then dispense your change?  But if you go to the Post Office and use their machines, they make you “force feed the sucker a dollar bill ten times” before it will do the deal …. What’s up with that? (now wasn’t that fun?)

The Egyptian Love Boat

Ever wonder about life in an Islamic country, here is your chance, something as simple as flirting with girls, can get you in a lot of hot water.  Check it out here.

Civic duty to extremes

An American couple have flown from India to New York City just to vote in the Presidential election.  The couple’s absentee ballots  failed to arrive, so they jumped on a plane for the 9,300 mile flight.  In Florida 350 residents of a Florida nudist colony petitioned the state to open a clothing optional voting site.  No word on how many “hanging chads.”  (groan)  Kenya declared a national holiday to celebrate Barack Obama’s election win.  People poured into the streets, and danced, and carried Obama’s half-brother Kalik on their shoulders.

For sale … Dirt Cheap

The Iraqi government which received no nibbles on its offer to sell Saddam Hussiens 269 ft yacht.  The luxury craft, valued at some thirty million dollars is outfitted with swimming pools, gold-tap bathrooms, a secret escape passageway, and several barely used rocket launchers.  In other related Iraqi news, they have graciously agreed to “allow us to leave” in three years.  What a deal.  Still no word on Osamma Been Forgotten but here is a well written piece on it.  Crackerboy.

Xtreme Healthcare

Ottawa Canada ER’s are experiencing difficulty meeting case loads.  Emergency rooms in Canada are so crowded that patients are dying while they wait to be treated.  Treatment is free in Canada national health-care system, and in many hospitals, packed ambulances idle outside for hours because there is no place to leave patients.  Some are describing the system as a “third world country.”

Tell your story … Here are two dust catchers if I ever saw one.

Joe the Plumber is now going to write a book.  Sarah Palin has a rumored book deal, and now we get to hear about their incredible rise to fame and their lives in the public spotlight.  Also Joe has been rumored to be considering a “country and western record” deal on top of that.  Has hired a Nashville Public Relations firm and the whole nine-yards.

Some possible song titles for the upcoming CD:

  • 10. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine.
  • 9. I Ain’t Never Gone To Bed With an Ugly Woman But I Woke Up With a Few.
  • 8. If The Phone Don’t Ring, You’ll Know It’s Me.
  • 7. I’ve Missed You, But My Aim’s Improvin’.
  • 6. Wouldn’t Take Her To A Dogfight ‘Cause She Might Win.
  • 5. I’m So Miserable Without You It’s Like You’re Still Here.
  • 4. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Miss Him.
  • 3. She Took My Ring and Gave Me the Finger.
  • 2. She’s Lookin’ Better with Every Beer.
  • And the Number One Country & Western song might be …
  • 1. It’s Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed on You’re a** All Day

Me?  I am holding out for the movie.  And yes, we are still working on the Creative Endeavors Sunny Acres Sunshine band and will have more news on that in a few days.

Watch for it.

I will now return faithfully to the sanctimony of our bat-cave, where I hang upside down during the daylight hours (it’s really a walk-in-closet, but bat cave sounds so incredibly cool … don’tya think?).  This is the treatment Cup Cake has suggested for me to delay aging, it allows in the short term, to get blood to flow to my upper body, which will give me that vibrant flushed youthful appearance.

Makeup just isn’t working.

000

November 1, 2008

Mysteries of life

A great many things in this life just do not make sense.  I was thinking about that this very morning and I thought I might share some of it with you.

Take those birds, Swallows, every year, they just keep coming on back to Capistrano or some other place out in California.  That is a mystery to me.

Or those horse’s that are born white and then they turn coal black when they reach maturity.

Recently Radio Girl turned me on to an interesting blog site that is entitled  “Margaret & Helen” and they are a mystery to me.

Are they really eighty years old as they claim and writing this blog with the help of their grandchildren or are they conning everyone into believing they are so.

Immensely popular they are a good read and a mystery to me, I shall follow them in the future with some skepticism.  But that is nothing new, I am suspicious of everyone and everything, just ask my birth mother she will tell you.  I enjoy their page.  It makes me ever mindful of the conversations and musings in the late afternoon that I shared with my grandparents who are now long gone. Get some time today, trot over there and give their read a glance over, some good stuff there.

Back to the mysteries of life.  The roots go down and the plant goes up, life, that is a mystery.  This guy, Joe The Plumber, as I understand it, he doesn’t have a license, so why do they say he is a plumber?  That is a mystery.  How can the cable company remember to send me a bill each month, but cannot remember the password on my site?  Here is another that just irks the ____ out of me, why does this sucker change fonts in the middle of an article, does it all the time!  WordPress.com surely a mystery if there ever was one.

“Pick a number between one and five.”  Got it?  Is it three?  Nine times out of ten, when you ask someone to do this, they will pick the number three.  Why?  Because they perceive the number three as the middle, another mystery of life.

A word of precaution here, this number thing only works with adults.  If you do it with your five year old grandson, give him the choice, ask him to pick the number, and then ask what the number is, he will most likely reply, ‘It’s MY number Grandpa, go get your own.” You have been warned.

More red cars are sold in America than any other color.  A red used car will sell for MORE money than other cars.  Red Is For Lovers

Women in red has always been a mystery to me.  A new psychological study has just been released about romantic attraction and it suggest that red attire makes men unwittingly more attracted to women. To study the effect of color on behavior, psychologists as the University of Rochester in New York conducted five experiments and analyzed mens responses to photographs of women in various situations.

They would in turn frame the photo’s in red or have the women wearing red in the photo’s as they were displayed. In every case, men rated the women in red frames or wearing red as considerably more attractive and sexually desirable than the same women with other colors.

So if you want to attract your man …… Put on that red dress baby, ‘cause we goin’ out tonight, put on that red dress baby, case some fool might wanna fight

Sampson and Delilah were a mystery.  So was Cleopatra and Marc Anthony.  Two strong and robust men, brought down in their prime by a woman.  Which brings me to Sarah and McSame, a broadly satirical political comedy of sorts with an improbable plot, this truly is a mystery to me.

I can remember the first time I was given word of it and my measured response was … Are you kidding me, what were you thinking?

Wonder if Sarah was wearing red when Old man Mr. McSame took her down by the creek, under the stately Cotton Wood tree in Sedona Arizona, to ask for her hand in their unholy alliance in the mysterious world of politics.

I guess I will always wonder about that one for sure.

000


Above all that

Alaska, somewhere north of the fortieth parallel …. Guilty as charged.

Alaskan Senator, Ted Stevens recently convicted on all seven counts by a jury in Alaska, vowed to “fight this with every ounce of energy I have.”  Which is kind of ironic, as it was his close personal relationship with an ENERGY CEO that got him in all this hot water to begin with.  Why is it that politicians seem to think that they are bound over by a different set of rules and guidelines than the rest of us.  What is it that makes them believe they are above the law?

Kind of like all these people who sit at stoplights at busy intersections, and pick their nose while waiting for the light, do they really believe they are invisible and the rest of us cannot see them?

Kailua-Kona Hawaii

The best bargain at the Salvation Army thrift store was a Richard Simmons videotape. But Mikela Mercier, 11, passed on buying it for a few coins after she found $1,000 in $100 bills inside. Mikela immediately told her mother they needed to turn the tape in. Store manager Jimmy Thennes praised Mikela for her honesty.  No word from Richard Simmons at this time.

DeWitt Nebraska

The Vise-Grips plant there will close permanently after Friday, ending about 70 years of operations and costing 330 jobs. Irwin Industrial Tools, which operates the plant, is moving operations to China to lower costs. William Petersen, a Danish immigrant, invented the tool nearly 90 years ago in DeWitt.  They ought to take a pair of ‘em, and slap them on the crotch of the guy who thought up the idea of shipping American jobs overseas ….. and then sqeeeeeeeeeeze.

In other related Nebraska news, the state is now saying it is going to re-work its safe haven law.  People have been driving across state lines to drop off unwanted children, two dozen of them recently, one as old as 17 years of age.  The law, which took effect in July, prohibits guardians from being prosecuted for leaving a child at a hospital.

When Snow White dropped by last Tuesday and left five of the dwarfs, the governor declared that he had enough.  This law must be re-written to protect the original intent he declared.

Final Spin Cycle

Whirlpool is laying off 5,000 workers and DreamWorks isn’t making any movies …. We seem to be still hemorrhaging around the edges, has anyone noticed.  When will Washington figure out we cannot all deliver pizza’s to each other, some of us need jobs.

Here is the new official – unofficial policy …. We got the money ….. Now screw you.

There seems to be this “new attitude” by lenders and lending associations around the country.  Even though your credit is perfect, it certainly could be better, and now they are demanding just that.  Home loans are no longer a sure thing.  This is the new, dynamic landscape of mortgage lending today a new world in which even those with good credit are having trouble getting mortgages or the loan terms that they want.

All this at a time when politicians and economists are wanting to reduce bloated inventories in most cities, that are prone to fail.  Compliments of our good friends, the bankers, the only people in the world who can understand the concept of eleven windows …. And three tellers.

Chicken to go

Paris Kentucky — When a Chicken Ranch restaurant employee found her boss lying in an apparent pool of blood, she ran out screaming and called police. But the scenario was a Halloween prank by Joe Watkins, police said. The worker may have the last laugh; police charged Watkins with making a false report to lure her to the scene.

Chillin In Cheyenne

Cheyenne Wyoming — Natural gas prices were so high this summer that regulators warned heating prices in January 2009 could be as much as 79% higher than in January 2008.  But Darrell Zlomke, assistant state Public Service Commission administrator, says now that falling natural-gas wholesale prices suggest the increase is more likely to be about 33%.  That is the bad news, now here is the good.  The used furniture for firewood program seems to be holding on low prices in the area.

Now will everyone who got a 33% raise in wages this year, please raise your hand ….  Thought so.

The warming effects of Global Warming are affecting flowers, animals in Yellowstone and they are starting to disappear.  Studies are now showing that the warming of the Earth’s atmosphere over the past few decades has caused a loss of many the flower that Henry David Thoreau reordered in his book Walden and also has contributed to a decline in several species’ of native animals once common in Yellowstone.

Two headed fish in the Frazier River in Canada, frogs disappearing in the United States and around the world, species that have been actively protected for most of our lives, are going into severe decline.

Now tell me about “Clean Coal” again … I am confused.

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October 21, 2008

Rated “E”

This post is rated “E” for entertaining.  No, educational, uh, erratic.  THIS POST IS FOR EVERYONE … Whew?  Sure glad we got that out of the way.

Oh well, it is Tuesday, and as with all Tuesday’s I have my problems.  Much like a child in grammar school, I am never prepared for the lesson on Tuesday, I am geared up for recess instead.

Most of my days, were spent in desperate contemplation of the hour in Gym class and a considerable amount of time was devoted to “the fine art of pencil sharpening and the observation of the world’ just outside the window.  I excelled in that, but unfortunately, I found out later in life, not much demand for it in the marketplace.

I used to really get into recess, which should not come as any big surprise to anyone that is a regular reader of this page.

You cannot always effectively plan for the future, especially when you are young.  I remember when released from the U.S. Military, they told me that “I could use the skills that were taught to me in the service” in my civilian occupation.  So when I found out that American Airlines wasn’t hiring any tail gunners …. I went to work for the Railroad.

This is what happens to you when you major in recess, remember this.

USA Today is reporting that stress levels are up nationwide and surprisingly, the most affected, are not adults.  The highest stress levels in the past six months have been reported by the 18-24 crowd at 64% coming in second is the 24-34 bunch 55%, 35-44 at 47%, 45-54 at close behind, 46%.  The old geezers like myself, we are just laid back and cooling it, only 37% of them reported stress.

Which is reasonable, when you stop to think about it.  We moved all “those hard to live with people out of the house” years ago.  And we are not forced to watch “Dancin’ With The Stars” three nights a week.  Did you know that more American’s voted for the winner of American Idol than voted for Bush in the last election?  True.

Might be a good day to talk about that “three ring circus” (the great American Dog & Pony Show) in the Nation’s Capitol, but to tell you the truth, I am really tired of it.  So much like T.Boone Pickens latest book (The First Billion is the hardest – Crown Business, 260 pages, $26.95) I am going to take a pass.  Having the lowest stress levels in the above group did not “just naturally occur.”  Often you have to work at it.

Good and Bad News:

Phoenix, Arizona has told home builders there that they are to install water collection systems on new homes and that they are going to collect rainwater from these systems for the watering of plants and outside shrubs.  Which is a good idea and a bad idea.  It is good to be geared up to “green thinking” and all that, it is bad, because as anyone knows.  Phoenix is in the Sonoran Desert portion of the American Southwest and generally speaking …. It doesn’t rain there much, if at all.

Biting the hand that feeds them.

Hard to believe, but like beggar’s with outstretched hands the U.S. Auto companies are trying to entice the public to purchase a new car.  Only thing is, “they are going about it in the wrong manner or fashion” if you ask me.  Now they are telling us that in order to buy a new car, we need to bring MORE cash and a larger down payment is going to be required of us.

Tighter credit standards are forcing many car buyers to put up more cash in order to qualify for a loan.  The average down payment last month was $3,108.00 which is up 42% from the same time last year ($2,194.00).  It is like some kind of shark feeding frenzy on the American consumer these days.  General Motors wants to buy Chrysler and of course, they are lining up at the Federal trough to see if they can get some creative financing in the Great American Give-Away currently enjoying a nice run in Washington DC these days.

These dumb-bells ought to take a lesson from U.S. Oil, we stopped buying their products, and we effectively proved to them that we can do without oil based-products and we can do without these new cars too.

Eat Your Oil

OPEC (namely Venezuela and Iran) are crying the blues, they are now saying that they are cutting back on spending and projects in their respective countries because of the low demand for oil.  It seems that their profits are down some fifty percent and they are experiencing a hardship.  Now everyone …. All together now … One big collective sigh for our poor energy rich oil partners. Now didn’t that feel just swell boys & girls.  Actually that is a misnomer, we (America) get most of our foreign oil from places other than Venezuela and Iran.

Canada and Mexico for instance, are big suppliers to the U.S. and it is not $700 billion as previously reported but rather around $230 billion per year, big difference.

Anchor’s Aweigh

Not to be deterred, the Boys in Dubai went shopping this week, the oil rich energy czars bought the Queen Mary II and she is going to sail to Dubai on her last voyage.  After four decades of plying the oceans of the world she is being retired and will be converted into a five-star hotel in Dubai, the flashy Arab resort Center of the Middle East (United Arab Emirates).

This leaves the sister ship with the same name still plying the oceans for a little while longer, with peak oil, there will come a time in the not so distant future, when all of them are parked and converted.

“Uh, maybe the Woodpeckers were not a good idea?”

Everything I need to know about life, I learned from Noah’s Ark . One: Don’t miss the boat. Two: Remember that we are all in the same boat. Three: Plan ahead. It wasn’t raining when Noah built the Ark. Four: Stay fit. When you’re 600 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big. Five: Don’t listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done. Six: Build your future on high ground. Seven: For safety sake, travel in pairs. Eight: Speed isn’t always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs. Nine: When you’re stressed, float awhile. Ten: Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.

No matter the storm, when you are with God, there’s always a rainbow waiting.

Now, wasn’t that nice? Pass it along this Tuesday, tell all your friends, and make someone else smile, too

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October 3, 2008

Friday Out-Take

Friday, always liked Friday, don’t really know why, just do. Maybe it is because there isn’t any Dancin’ With The Stars on Friday, No America’s Got Talent, Survivors, or any of that other Hollywood garbage.

You watch the Emmy’s this year? Don’t feel alone, a great many people did not tune in, we however watched it. Mama likes to see what they are wearing.

Most of it is on loan or borrowed to begin with, but that doesn’t seem to matter.

Celebrities making appearances at awards shows and movie premieres expose an average of 59% of their skin, which is really good if you are a seventeen-year old kid, and your parents are not home.

That percentage is up from 39% in the late nineties. After scanning thousands of celebrity photographs and videos, I am sure they have also determined that the least skin-flaunting decade was probably the seventies, this is because most of the stars were doing good Coke in those days, and hardly even bothered to show up for the awards at all. Let us say 7% of the time that sound reasonable to you?

I figure if the trend continues at this rate, most of the movie stars will completely naked by 2030.

Yesterday I rode my bike over to McDonald’s’ for my morning “Rubber McMuffin” and I happened to note that they have a new menu out. Also have gone up considerably on their prices. Starbucks who was recently cutting back on all their stores nationwide has met the challenge of the recession, by introducing the $2.45 cup of hot chocolate! If you want the “tall cup” it is about $2.85. By the way, this is the same ultra-rich drink that they dropped two years ago, but have decided to bring back, just as pricey but not as rich in taste. 

Isn’t just swell, knowing that during times of tough sledding you can count on your favorite haunts to “raise their prices” and help you through the tough times?

If this doesn’t boil your blood, nothing will. A Wisconsin prison inmate serving time for homicide has been awarded $295,000 by a federal jury because he was forced to sleep on a moldy mattress. Following a 2004 prison riot he was forced to sleep on the mattress for sixty days. I smell the ACLU in the woodpile here somewhere.

But honest … I really needed this stuff yo’ honor. A New York lawyer has failed in his effort to deduct from his taxes the $322,000 he spent on prostitutes, pornography and sex toys. He claimed they were for a medical condition, ED, and I am not talking “Electoral Dysfunction.”  Nice try … No cigar.

Major shocker! Former American Idol runner-up Clay Aiken revealed to the world that he is fact, gay. Now that is a real yawner there isn’t it? I mean, other than Ryan Seacrest, who cares?

Here Kitty-Kitty-Kitty! A dispatcher in Casper Wyoming told an officer his services were needed to shoo away a house cat. Instead, the officer found an 80-90 lb. male “mountain lion” at the location. A game warden later tranquilized and relocated the cougar. Talk about an erroneous dispatch.

Sarah Palin’s machine gun toting belly button showing picture hit the tabloids yesterday, once again we are ahead of the curve and I found that somewhat amusing. Another thing I find funny about the Vee-Pee-Wanna-be is how she refers to McSame as her “running mate.” Here is another one that is a real hoot  … “A Palin and McSame administration.”  It appears, that we might have a possible replacement for the all too popular “Bushisms” doesn’t it?

Now isn’t that cute? A lot of folks find themselves enamored with the Vee-Pee Elect because they find her to be “just like me.” I don’t understand why people would think the best person for the job would be just like themselves. This is the problem with America, we are too quick to settle for mediocrity in this country. We have no hero’s left and we should be looking for bright, intelligent, outstanding citizens not ordinary people.

We tried this approach in the past two elections ……. And look where it got us.

  • What’s Obammer’s plan for health care reform … We don’t know.
  • Do you know what McSames’ plan is for the economy … We have no idea.
  • What are Big Joe Biden’s view on the environment … I could not tell you.
  • Big Joe messed up in Ohio this week when he made a speech about “closing all the coal-burning plants” in a coal rich state. Yeah, like that dog is gonna hunt Joe.
  • How will Sarah deal with someone like IranHeck if I know.
  • Do you know about her pregnant teenage daughter … Why, of course, I am informed voter you know.

Hippies have been fighting for years to legalize it in Canada. It’s high-quality, enjoyable, and pretty harmless. Today, Vancouver, BC legalized it. Vancouver city council voted Tuesday afternoon to give a green light to low-speed electric vehicles.  One apparent drawback. When the Wonder Bread truck comes at you and T-bones you for running the light, you will do some serious sheet time at the local hospital.

A woman bought a house on E-Bay this week for one dollar and seventy-five cents, sounds good doesn’t it.  Bet you it is only worth a dollar twenty-five by Monday.  Far too many powers have been invoked by the Bush administration under a banner of urgency and fear.  And then of course, they have abused them (the powers granted) now we are once again being asked to bail out the financial sector with no judicial review or Congressional look.

While we are on the subject of dead wood.

Former President Bill Clinton revved up a crowd on behalf of Obammer in Florida Wednesday, his first since the Democratic convention. And though he repeated his mantra that Democrats don’t have to “say one bad word” about their Republican opponents to win the election, Clinton actually snuck in a dig against Sarah Palin.  Might be down there for a box of cigars or something … think about it, it’ll come to you.

Online braggin … After a group of college students hyped their party business on MsSpace by saying they’d hosted more than 100 events. When the state of Oklahoma then hit them with a $320,000 tax bill, the students insisted they’d hosted only 20.  Not-too-smart.com

The Marion County Prosecutor’s Office in Indianapolis, Indiana, said Wednesday that no charges will be filed in the strangling of a man who broke into a home with the intention of sexually assaulting a 17-year-old girl. David Meyers, 52, died after a struggle with the girl’s father, Robert McNally, 64, early Sunday morning. Prosecutor Carl Brizzi said McNally acted in defense of his daughter and that charges were not warranted because of the nature of the incident.

Who says there isn’t any justice in America anymore?

At least that is my take on it this Fridayhere in the Heart Land. So all you Bush Lovers, if any of this upset you … you will get over it. If you don’t find yourself with a sense of humor, you more than likely don’t have any sense at all. You can tell anyone and everyone that John Q. Public, at Creative Endeavors, a member of the public or the community, a person, citizen or the public or community personified said that.

Please send all rebuttals and/or comments to the local office of the Republican party, our box is full.

My name is not important, but I did pay for this message.

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