Creative Endeavors, The Home of BoxcarOkie.com

January 12, 2012

Trash Talk

Filed under: Blogging,Life,Oklahoma,random — ldsrr91 @ 6:48 am
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THE TRASH OF MAN

This is a little hard to believe, but ….  When Brian McGuinn realized he had accidentally thrown his wife anna’s engagement ring in the trash last month, he vowed to do whatever was necessary to get it back.  Almost every husband in American knows that “If mama aint happy … nobody is happy.”  So after contacting their local sanitation company in Margate, Fla., the 34 year old suited up in a hazmat outfit and waded into tons of rotting food and sludge-covered trash to track down the $10,000 diamond.

After a half-hour of searching, McGuinn located the gem and returned it to his wife finger (after a professional cleaning of course).  His wife was reported to have said “I am not taking it off anymore.”   (Which could be “good news/bad news” for Brian, depending on her mood I suppose?)  So in thirty minutes, give or take a few, this best dressed hazmat-nimrod finds a ring in a trash dump?

Yeah sure … I am not believing this one at all. 

My neighbor and I had a similar experience.  His son Mel and his girlfriend mixed it up in the front yard, as young couples in love are prone to do from time to time.  Mel’s girlfriend went berserk one Saturday and threw her engagement ring at him on the front lawn in a moment of “lively discussion.”  And shortly there afterwords, the fun and games began.  We were there, on that “freshly manicured lawn for over two hours looking for that ring” and never did find it.  Finally, I called a guy with a metal detector and he had it pinpointed and located in less than 40 minutes.

This guy finds a $10K diamond in a dump in thirty minutes?

Bad week for “Honest Abe” someone stole the copper sword held by the statue of a Civil War soldier atop Lincoln’s tomb in Springfield, Ill..  It was most likely stolen for scrap.  The cemetery recently got rid of their security guard because of budget cuts.  Not long ago, Midwest City, Oklahoma, was reporting the theft of manhole covers in their city.

If some crack-head shows up at your recycling center with fifty-feet of guard rail or 22 manhole covers, this is a good indicator that something isn’t right.  A lot of this could be stopped if they “would police the people taking in the scrap.”  Meanwhile, you come in with two trash bags of crushed alum. cans and they want your driver’s lic. number and the name of your first born male child in order to collect your eight dollars in much needed lunch money.

Now this isn’t rocket science folks. 

They say the owner of a second-had car knows how to drive a bargain.  Take the case of this man in San Jose, California, who unwittingly bought a used van full of cocaine hidden inside.  He bought the van for some $14,000 last year.  He accidentally found the cocaine while cleaning up the van and immediately called the police on the matter.  Now this is one lucky guy, can you imagine what would have happened to this poor slob if he had been stopped in a “routine traffic stop” and the drugs were discovered then?

Junk Food protection,

God Bless the U.S. government, our ever watchful vigilant watchdogs who protect and serve us.  Congress recently shelved proposed changes to the nation’s school lunch program that were designed to reduce childhood obesity by adding fruits and vegetables while cutting french fries and pizza.  At the same time, McDonald’s in Oakland, California, added a “Happy To Be Alive Meal” to its regular menu.

Guess it all works out?

From the think I will pass files.  A Chinese entrepreneur says he plans to use feces from panda bears to make the world’s healthiest and most expensive tea.  Let me run that one up the old flagpole and see if we can find someone to salute it again …. I said, a Chinese entrepreneur says he plans to use feces from panda bears to make the world’s healthiest and most expensive tea.

He has already collected 5 tons of panda poop, which he estimates will retail for around $34,000 a pound.  He also goes on to say the panda’s excrement is rich in fibers and nutriments” owning to a diet rich in bamboo and its relatively inefficient digestive system.

In tea form, he says, panda pooh has more antioxidants than green tea, and a mature, nutty taste and a very distinctive aroma.  We have scheduled a tea party here at the house next week (my wife as some of you already know is very much Chinese) and we welcome y’all to attend.  (Bring your own toilet paper)

“A mature, nutty taste and a very distinctive aroma. “ 

Uh huh, wouldn’t look for this one at Starbucks anytime soon if I were you.

Been a little noisy around here.  This week they have been placing seismic sensors in the crop fields around here with a helicopter.  Looking for the black gold that the country runs on.  Yesterday coming home from town, in the span of 11 miles, I met some thirty plus oil related semi’s on the highway.  Lot of oil field trash on the move in Oklahoma.  At last count we had some 185,000 drilled wells in this state.  Oklahoma had an average of six small earthquakes a year, until that is, 2009, when the number jumped to 50.  Last year we had about 1,047 and one cabinet shaker registered 5.6 on the scale.

Now less than ten miles from our lovely little Goat Farm in the country, they are fracking the earth like you would not believe.  The boom is on again, and this time it is not oil, but natural gas.  (Please Lord, gives us another oil-related boom, we promise we will not blow it this time)  In case you just came in just now, or are late to the party, here is a very real fact of life.

Progress always has a tab, someone will have to pick it up sooner or later.  Wyoming and Arkansas now have water that is not fit for human consumption.  Ohio as recently as last week, stopped drilling of  disposal wells in their state due to earthquakes.

I predict that we will have here at my location, a whopper of an earthquake within two years (mark your calendars) and possibly natural gas coming out the spicket at the sink in the kitchen when you go to get a glass of frog water.  We have a huge national, massive addiction to oil, and there seems to be no solution in sight.  Homeowners do not want windmills blocking their spectacular ocean views in Martha’s vineyard.  Solar panels that would cover vast swathes of desert with panels, and people object to that too.  The tar-sands in Canada are playing havoc with the Frazier River Basin and the verdict isn’t in on that right now, but you can trust it isn’t going to be good.

So ….. if none of this works (Not In My Backyard) how are we supposed to keep the lights on?

25* here and it is going to be chilly out there on the tractor this morning (I am digging a pond).  Wind is out of the north and it has the bite of a pit-bull at Las Vegas Mailman’s Convention.  Gonna be another Oklahoma Memory Maker, wish you were here.

This brings us to a close, on this cold and nasty day,I sincerely hope you are warm where-ever you might be.  Remember there is no such thing as bad weather, only inappropriate clothing.

OOO

May 20, 2011

Tilting At Windmills

Filed under: Life,Oklahoma — ldsrr91 @ 5:44 am
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It seems as if “everything” shuts down during a thunderstorm.  What is the use of having all of this technology at your fingertips, if you cannot use it during certain times of the day or the week.  Tried to check my email this morning and it is not allowed, storms in the area, so therefore, information will not be distributed.  Same thing with the Dish, 200 channels, but you are relegated to sitting there watching it “search for an available transponder.”  Technology sucks.

Yesterday’s mail brought me an answer from Shell Oil Co. on my credit card snafu.  No good news to report there, and as I suspected in the beginning, “they do not care about me nor do they care about my problems.  Recently I wrote them about it and I published it here.

Yesterday the mail carrier brought me my official-unofficial-kiss off reply.

The official response was “they did not understand the nature of my problem.”  To be specific it read:  “Dear Mr. Smith   Thank you for your recent inquiry regarding your Shell account.  We are unclear on how we may assist you.  Please call us at 1-800-331  Blah-blah Yada-Yada.”  And that was it, nothing more, and I suppose, nothing forthcoming.

I mean if you cannot read, what good is a telephone call going to do?

Must be nice, to have a job, where you sit around all day and just blow people off.  No real responsibilities, most likely do not have to come in early or dress for success.  Just send off a form letter that basically says … Go Away.  I could sit down at the keyboard and fire off another missive, being very explicit (which I thought the first one was to begin with) and make it quite clear “what the nature of my problem was.”  But what is the use, they would just ignore me again.  I am trashing their card, and going back to cash sales.  Most likely I will discontinue doing business with them altogether.

Another thing I find interesting about all this, the letter was signed “S. Larson.”  I have seen this name before, when I made inquiries on a VISA card for instance.  You don’t suppose that all letters are naturally forwarded to this “S. Lawson” to answer do you?  That would be something.  I sincerely hope that when I die, I don’t get up to the Pearly Gates, walk up to a desk with an Angel sitting there and the name tag on the desk reads “S. Larson.”

If this is the case, I am going to be in some serious trouble, let me tell you.

Maybe I caught them on an “off day” or something.  Maybe they perhaps thought they were awake, but an important and overused part of their brain was asleep when the letter arrived there at the “credit card center.”  You know if you deprive rats of rest, this causes their neurons to start shutting down at random intervals.

The rats in turn, appear to be wide awake, but if you hook up little tiny electrodes to their brains this will show that the neurons responsible for eye-hand coordination are currently turned off, making it harder for them to rip sugar cubes and of course, answer letters from consumers.

Wait a minute, rats don’t have hands.  What could I possible be thinking here.

Thirty-five percent of Americans don’t get enough rest each night according to the CDC (Center For Disease Control and Prevention).  Maybe they are as my grandson is fond of saying …. “Zoned out?”

Gasoline is now on the way down, currently .16 cents below the national average here.  Wife came in yesterday and said, “Gas has gone down Honey!” as if she had some big earth shaking news, when it gets back down to say something reasonable like a buck fifty a gallon tell me about it.  At three fifty-plus per gallon, that just doesn’t seem to row my boat, I am sorry.  It sure doesn’t help having a lousy credit card from Shell Oil with a $400 limit on it either.

But they don’t understand my problem.

What they cannot tell you is why they put a $400 limit on your credit card and then turned of the pump at $376, declined the sale, and embarrassed you at the pump.  But when you have the only game in town, I guess you can do just about anything you want, that is, if your name is S. Larson.

Have a good weekend.

OOO

April 28, 2011

The Old Shell Game

Filed under: Life,Oklahoma — ldsrr91 @ 3:34 am
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If you are currently doing business with Shell Oil of North America, you might want to find someone else.  Yesterday I sent this letter to Shell Oil North America, most likely it will be filed in the round file at the corner of the desk.

What can I say … Another slow day at the Goat Farm and my prescription has just run out.

To Whom It May Concern:

I recently applied for and was granted a Shell Credit Card #003-118 —-, for this I thank you.  This month I discovered that you have placed a $400 limit on the card which I find unrealistic.

I presently own three automobiles, of the three, the combined fuel capacity of these vech. are 14, 22, and 24 gallons for a total of 60 gallons.  I also own a bus that has a capacity of 225 gallons.  At today’s pricing, a $400 limit on the card is just not a good thing for me personally.  Do the math, 285 gallons at $3.75 per gallon is over $1,000.  Just filling one car per month and the coach, eats up $400 pretty quickly as I am sure you can readily see.

Also, this month, my fuel consumption was $376 on the card, and even though the $400 limit was not met, the card was declined for use at my local shell station, what is the deal on that?  It was not only inconvenient but embarrassing for me personally, and I did not appreciate it.

It appears that even your $400 limit is no good either, it should have at least given me the $23 left on the card.  After all, “a limit is a limit” and this one wasn’t even met at the time.  I also feel you should have informed me of this action on your part at the beginning of our transaction (when I opened the account) and made it known then.

You need to increase the limits on these cards, or just do away with them altogether.

This is disappointing and frankly if this is the best you have to offer, perhaps I should take my business somewhere else?  Review the above account and make some corrections or adjustments, this is not working.

Thanks,

D. Smith

Then I hit transmit (send) and guess what?

The Email address printed on the billing statement is NOT valid. (I guess when you have a good thing going for you, you just naturally don’t have to give a ____ one way or the other.)

OOO

February 28, 2011

Drill This

Filed under: Life,Oklahoma — ldsrr91 @ 7:20 am
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Last day of the month, and I cannot tell you where it went for the life of me, but tomorrow will be March 1st.  The windy month on the high plains.

The “hot topic” this weekend seemed to be the Oscars (what a yawner that turned out to be, we did about ten minutes of that and then click!) and the price of motor fuel.

I remember when I turned forty (which was awhile ago) I got to thinking about my life, and where it was.  At that juncture in time, I was making roughly twice what my father and my mother were making (combined) when they turned forty. But my buying power was diminished something like five times. So, the “good ole days” are or were, not necessarily that good.

Now days, my money doesn’t even slow down when it gets to me. I always have more month than money. Not that I am complaining, far from it, I live a good life, despite it all. I am just commenting.

This morning I arose from my comfortable bed, washed my hands in hot water, made a pot of coffee and started my day. A lot of folks around the world were not afforded that luxury.

I am doing alright.

Diesel went up in price .28 cents in ONE DAY over the weekend, now anyone want to tell me why?  None of this makes any kind of sense anymore, it is almost if the inmates are now running the asylum.  There are two things in this country that are NOT in short supply, one of them is greed, and the other is Bull S*** which is mainly emanating from Washington D.C..

Stop buying it, let them EAT IT and see what transpires.  They cannot STORE IT FOREVER.  I am or have been, for a month or two, buying $20-$50 a week and that is it.  Just what I need, now I know a lot of you have to purchase more, and you have my sympathy, but that is all I NEED to get by.  As long as demand stays high, pricing will reflect that, seems to be a rule of life in this country.

A friend of mine, she works at Walmart on the weekends, she told me a lady came in and bought 8 bags of coffee!  When asked why she was doing this, she offered up this … “It is going to $15 a bag, better get it while you still can.”  Where do people get information like this?  Give me some room to breathe, I am trying to find something amusing in the absurdity of it all, but it is albeit, coming to me very slowly. And it is just not the price of oil setting me off this morning, it is the price of virtually everything (which is basically tied to oil anyway).

The price of everything these days astounds me.

Gasoline and diesel for that matter are actually cheap, it is just the way or manner in which one would look at it. Or it could possibly be, that everything else is so expensive, it MAKES gasoline appear that way. Here is a list of items that could be purchased by the gallon: This makes one think, and also puts things in perspective to other things we buy.

Diet Snapple 16 oz $1.29 — ($10.32 per gallon)
Tube of tooth paste —($4) people that brush their teeth live longer, Madison Avenue.
Lipton Ice Tea 16 oz $1.19 — ($9.52 per gallon)
Gatorade 20 oz $1.59 — ($10.17 per gallon)
Dunkin’ Donuts coffee, 12oz. — ($7.46)
Ocean Spray 16 oz $1.25 — ($10.00 per gallon)
Brake Fluid 12 oz $3.15 — ($33.60 per gallon)
Box of Cheerios $3.38, Honey-Nuts are more, $4.12
Honey Nuts? I don’t get that at all, kind like Chicken McNuggets, what part of the chicken is that, exactly?  Don’t even get me started on this Buffalo Wings thing.
Vick’s Nyquil 6 oz $8.35 — ($178.13 per gallon)
Pepto Bismol 4 oz $3.85 — ($123.20 per gallon)
Whiteout 7 oz $1.39 — ($25.42 per gallon)
Cheap off brand Orange Juice, $4.00 — Minute Made $5.78
Scope 1.5 oz $0.99 — ($84.48 per gallon)
Box of depends, 20, $4.38 (for the bad days)

And this is the REAL KICKER… Evian water 9 oz $1.49 —($21.19 per gallon! $21.19 for WATER and the buyer doesn’t even know the source (Evian spelled backwards is Naive).  Ever wonder why printers are so cheap? So they have you hooked for the ink. Someone calculated the cost of the ink at (you won’t believe it) $5,200.00 a gal.

Five thousand two hundred dollars for ink, unbelievable. So, if you find yourself at the Root N Scoot this weekend, at the pump filling up, be glad your car doesn’t run on water, Scope, or Whiteout, Pepto Bismol, Nyquil or God forbid, Printer Ink!

There you go! The next time the kids drop by to stick their feet under the table and visit awhile, and that inquisitive baby will ask all the questions, you will have some of the answers.

Stuff like: “Grandpa, has a candy bar always cost $20.00? When did we start heating our homes with pig manure?”

You will know what to say …

OOO

Cartoon courtesy of American Progress Online.

February 16, 2011

Up And Until Now

Filed under: Life,Oklahoma — ldsrr91 @ 6:28 am
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Hump Day!  Just a couple more, and then the weekend.  Lying here in the bed this morning and I am thinking, “I don’t get out of my bed because it is uncomfortable, cold or anything like that. I get out of it because I know that some time during the day I am going to have to separate from it. It is too heavy to carry around on my back with me all day long..”

On terribly depressing days, I get up and get dressed and I do my bang the head on the upper bunk until I pass out thing, but today feels alright ….. sorta.

So, somewhat tepidly, I will continue.

Click, another minute of time, hits the dust. I am lying there, watching the minutes tick off the red clock on top of the drawers and I am thinking of what it is that needs to be done this day, other than find my shoes. 

The coffee is good this morning, the television in the corner barks out at me. THE MONEY YOU SAVE ON FUEL WILL MAKE YOUR CAR PAYMENT! Uh huh, I am sure. No one is going to knock off $10,000 off the price of a new car, I am not stooooopid. I cannot understand how deodorant can advertise “Invisible Solid Protection”

Just checked my gasoline consumption for the month, add three, carry over the six, times two … Eeeeeouch, that sure do hurt, don’t it. Wonder what “five bucks a gallon” is going to feel like?  Please don’t hate me Mr. Oil Executive but I am just feeling ripped off.

This not good.

Again the “tree house in Belize or Honduras” idea surfaces, can a man truly live on Bananas alone? Where is that National Geographic. I am not being or thinking positive now, licking two fingers and inserting them into the electric socket, often helps to bring things into proper perspective.

I know everything is okay, Obama said so. He has to be right, I mean he is in the government  …  Trust & Obey, Trust & Obey ,,, be a good lil’ Democrat.  What goes up will eventually come down I tell myself, licking my fingers one more time …

Egypt fell apart this past week, it was colder in Nowata, Oklahoma than it was on the North Pole (Where are you now Mr.
Gore and all of your earth warming friends).  Lady Gaga was almost naked on Sixty-Minutes and the latest poll says that once again, we are in the dumper.

The United States right now is simultaneously the world’s most loved, hated, feared, and admired nation on earth.

In short … We are the late Frank Sinatra. Lucky for us, God protects fools, drunks and the United States of America.  Well, this one is pretty much “middle of the road today” I took a good shellacking on the Valentines’ Day post, sure generated some emails from the girls.  Now what was it I said?  (By the way … The mailbox is currently full, don’t send me any more fan mail.)

That is the way it often goes … You are the sum total of all your choices, up and until now.

OOO

January 31, 2011

It Must Be Monday

Filed under: Life,Oklahoma,politics — ldsrr91 @ 11:12 am
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The wind blows hard this morning, it comes roaring across the plains with a vengeance, carrying it with bitter cold.  I don’t know where it is has been, but it has been blowing across snow, it tears at the corner of my eye, and it chills me to the marrow of my bone.  I secretly long to be somewhere else.

This time of the year, it is hard to find that ideal spot in life, that pleasing place, where everything is right.  Back east my friends are still covered in snow, locked down and the first stages of Cabin Fever seem to be rearing its ugly head.  I stop to think about it all, things could be a lot worse for myself.

I count my blessings.

A bad week to be a football fan, at least in Washington state that is.  A Washington state middle schooler was sent home for wearing the wrong NFL jersey.  His school which has an official uniform last week, allowed students to wear Seattle Seahawks jerseys for a team-appreciation day.  Grendon Bailie, who is 13 years old, wore the jersey of his beloved Pittsburg Steelers and was told to change or be suspended.  His only comment was:  “Not everyone is a Seahawks fan.”

It is not easy being a thirteen year old these days.

A Houston Texas couple was told to stop feeding the homeless because they do not have a permit.  The couple had been feeding up to 120 people per night, using donated food prepared by volunteers.  But City officials, in their infinite wisdom, decided to shut down the program because the kitchen isn’t inspected and certified.  Their collective reasoning was that “poor people are the most vulnerable to food-borne illness.”   Which is kind of like saying “Homeless people are lucky, they get to camp out every night.”   Let’s form a committee and pool our ignorance, Houston you have a problem.

I guess it is best to just let them starve too death.

Good news!  Do you desire to have healthy skin?  British researchers found that eating five more portions of fruit and vegetables a day raises carotid levels and gives skin a golden tone, making people look healthier and more attractive.  My skin, is not all that pretty, I don’t normally think in terms of “skin care.”  Does the word “well preserved” readily come to mind here?

At my age I figure I would have to eat a dump-truck load of carrots, just to be considered “good looking.”

It also appears I may have to go back to dressing for success in order to look good.  Believe it or not, it pays off.  Lady Gaga and her ridiculous getups, are projected to make $100 million this year.  In my minds eye, I can still remember my mother standing there and saying to me, “I am NOT going to pay $4.05 for a pair of Levi’s!”

Life moves on.

Former Kalifornia Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger calculated that he lost roughly $200 million in box-office receipts by serving in government instead of making movies.  “It was more than worth it,” Arnold said.  Yeah?  Try taking that to Cracker Barrel for a cup of coffee and an order of Chicken N Dumplings.

Things are warming up down under.  This week it was announced that a group of Austrian undertakers said that they planned to funnel the excess heat generated by the crematorium next door into their new headquarters, so as to not waste energy.

I have saved the boring but important stuff for last.

This past week, President Obama ordered a regulatory review of all Federal departments.  He issued an executive order directing federal departments “to root out those agencies that have rules that conflict, are not worth the cost, or are just plain dumb.”

The main snag or hangup here, would be where do you start?

Our president went on to say (now this one is a hoot), government rules strengthen our country without unduly interfering with the economy.  And he went on further to say that although there are obvious gaps in the regulatory framework, it all seems to be working just peachy, and everything is going just swell.

 

Filled up lately Mr. President?

 

A Massachusetts cat has been summoned for jury duty, after it was listed by its owner on the census form.  The cat received his summons, the cats owner said she contacted the jury commission to request disqualification on the grounds that Sal’s language skills  are limited.  And I suppose that he could be considered racist, as it was rumored that he definitely did not like dogs.  It has to be true, I mean, I read it on the Internet.

Sit back, take a deep breath, and relax … Spring is just around the corner, it will be here before you know it.

OOO

Cartoons courtesy of Center for American Progress

November 18, 2010

Unwed And Unloved

Filed under: Oklahoma,politics,Recent — ldsrr91 @ 3:56 am
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Who says “women are the frustrated sex?”  A Taiwanese woman who was unable to find a husband is marrying herself so she can have a wedding.  An office worker from Taipei, has photographs taken of herself in a wedding dress and will marry herself next month in a lavish ceremony before whisking herself off for a honeymoon in Australia.  “Age 30 is a prime period for me” she said.  “your work and experience are in good shape, but I haven’t found a partner, so what can I do”

Uh, pack some batteries for the honeymoon?

Oklahoma for all of you who are blissfully unaware, is one of those “fly-over states” a stronghold of good Republican politics’.  Yesterday while consuming a Western Omelet at the local beanery I had one of them there epiphany things.  (Okie Talk)  We just had a landslide victory (not only here but nationwide) of Republican’s elected back into the system, and effectively changed the balance of power in their favor.

So here it is in a nutshell …. Where the rubber meets the road as they say around here … “Who are they going to blame now, when things do not improve or God forbid, get worse?”

Send The Bums Home

Halfway thru my hash-browns it also occurred to me that Mr. Obama has kept his promise of more jobs …. Freshman Congressman.  Government that works.

One of the recent causalities in the election process was the California Pot Initiative.  It seems that it went up in smoke … Nice play on words eh?  Voters wholeheartedly rejected the proposal.  Proposition 19, which would have allowed adults over 21 to grow their own smoke or purchase up to an ounce of marijuana for personal use, lost by 54%.  Every region of the state voted it down, except for San Francisco of course.  Legal marijuana at this point in California is already a $1 billion business.  It is also believed that people who invest in medical marijuana at this stage of the game, 9 out of 10 will most likely go under within a year.

If you want to make some money, try Gold.

James one of our favorite number crunchers will appreciate this one.   If you were to purchase all the gold that has ever been mined it would give you control of a pretty big block of the precious metal.  But at today’s prices you could instead purchase all the farmland in America and 10 ExxonMobils, and still have about $1 trillion in walking around money.

So you make the call, pot or gold, which one is the smart buy.

Speaka-Da-English?

Oklahoma voted on initiatives to insure that English was the common and unifying language and now all the signs will have to be changed at the entrance to the state.  Instead of reading Oklahoma Welcomes You, it will now read Red People Welcomes You.

Isn’t progress cool boys & girls?

Boo!  I bet I scared you Ha-Ha.  I have a parrot that says that, just cracks me up.  That friends, is about the scariest thing in my house.  I am so glad that all this Ghoulish October Halloween garbage is finally over.  Did you know that 37% of Americans say they believe in ghosts.  23% say a ghost has visited them, and 20% say they’ve seen or heard a ghost.  No Elvis sightings at Walmart this week, but Michael did release a new CD.

One more sad, but newsworthy thing to report.

This is not going to make someones‘ day.  Everyone who bought one of those 2012 books, loosely based on the Mayan Calendar and the end of the world, are going to be somewhat let down.  This is because new research has found an error in the conversion of Mayan to modern calendars, and that the “end of days” predicted by the Mayan calendar is not December 21st, 2012, but may actually be some 50 to 100 years later. Good news for everyone who owns a Time Share, bad news for all those people who print Mayan Calendars.

Never, ever underestimate the power of people to get it wrong.

OOO

October 28, 2010

Greed To Go

Filed under: Oklahoma,politics,Uncategorized — ldsrr91 @ 4:55 am
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Another full moon, I hate it when I get this way.  Oh well… Another not so quite lucid post from my world or what is left of it.

Remember that old line:  “It was the best of times … It was the worst of times.”  Think I saw it on a episode or Cheer’s a long, long time ago.

Now let’s to put it into perspective.

Look at the major oil companies for instance, now that times are good, they want to make them REALLY GOOD and want to put some kind of new crap (Okie Scientific Term) in your gasoline, up to 15% of it per gallon.  It will of course destroy older model cars but will run just fine in the newer models.

So the failing automakers get a boost, all the older cars have to leave the road, and the oil companies insure that their supplies of oil are extended well into the next century.

In good times, it’s natural that we pay less attention to our individual expenses. But today, regardless of our current situation, we all need to save as much money as possible.  And when it comes to saving money, the experts agree one of the best places to start is with your grocery bill.  Now that the recession is officially over it might be a good time to consider going back to Twinkies or Ding Dongs?

Thanks to all of the pompous gas bags in our nation’s capitol and the high octane boys digging in the tar sands around the world, we are stuck again.  The majority of us will be of course, sitting at home watching old re-runs of Laverne & Shirley, munching away.  Desperate victims of Anal Glaucoma, the disease brought to you by American Oil, a national affliction of which there is no known cure, a disease where you simply cannot see your ass going anywhere.

So here is the take away.

When Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) gave her inaugural address as speaker of the House in 2007, she vowed there would be “no new deficit spending.” Since that day, the national debt has increased by $5 trillion, according to the U.S. Treasury Department.

Must be nice, working for the government or the oil companies (if you do not currently live in a gulf state that is).  When you need ready cash, you just print it up or go get it.

Man-Man, here it comes again.  It never seems to end.  All of a sudden the tree house in Belize is looking better and better each day.  Now having done my public service for the day and increased my total word count for the month, I am going to slink into the kitchen for another cup of coffee.  One of the few luxuries in life I can at least afford, it is still hovering around eight dollars a bag.

Now if I just had enough money for a donut to go with it.

OOO

June 29, 2009

Up On The Soapbox Again

Filed under: Oklahoma,politics,Recent — ldsrr91 @ 3:46 am
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Hi Guy’s, greetings to all of you this Monday morning, I trust you had a productive and fruitful weekend and were sated and amused.  As I am an inquisitive sort, I often wonder about things.  All sorts of things.   Things in general, things that don’t seem right, this thing and that thing.

Take Ol T Boone Pickens, my favorite West Texas Oil man, for example.  Before the elections Ol T Boone was on every channel, telling us we had to get rid of the trucks, that we were dependent on foreign oil and that we needed a windmill in every back yard.

This includes Martha’s Vineyard Teddy, you don’t get a pass on this either.

Where is he now?  You don’t see hide nor hair of Ol’ T Boone and I am wondering, “What happened to this West Texas brush popper?  He doesn’t seem to be anywhere to be found these days.”  Could it be that Big Oil discreetly told him to shut up?  Perhaps pointing out to Ol T Boone, that talking about national energy problems and God forbid, unabashedly presenting solutions to those problems, was not in his best interest. That it might be more prudent for him to just be quiet, if he knew what was good for him.

Here is another “thing” that bothers me this morning.

Why is it we are constantly being dumbed down or kept in the dark on most everything, like mushrooms, fed a constant diet of BS and never allowed out into the sunshine.  Why is it we are always being “fed bad math” when it comes to oil and oil reserves in this country?

Why is it when a report is issued that is favorable in nature, why is it never “reported.” Being as T. Boone Pickens, an oil man, the modern day energy savior of the country, has all the answers.  Perhaps he could tell us why was this particular U. S. Geological Service energy based report was kept hush hush?

The U. S. Geological Service issued a report in April (’08) that only scientists and oil men knew was coming, but man was it big.  It was a revised report (hadn’t been updated since ’95) on how much oil was in this area of the western 2/3 of North Dakota; Western South Dakota; and extreme Eastern Montana.  Check this out: The Bakken field is the largest domestic oil discovery since Alaska’s Prudhoe Bay, and has the potential to eliminate all American dependence on foreign oil.

The Energy Information Administration (EIA) estimates it at 503 billion barrels.

Even if just 10% of the oil is recoverable … at $107 a barrel, we’re looking at a resource base worth more than $5.3 trillion.  When first briefed, legislators on this were virtually ignorant of its existence, you could practically see their jaws hit the floor. They had no idea.’ says Terry Johnson, the Montana Legislature’s financial analyst. This sizable find is now the highest-producing onshore oil field found in the past 56 years reports, The Pittsburgh Post Gazette.

It’s a formation known as the Williston Basin, but is more commonly referred to as the ‘Bakken.’  And it stretches from Northern Montana, through North Dakota and into Canada.  For years, U. S. oil exploration has been considered a dead end.  Even the ‘Big Oil’ companies gave up searching for major oil wells decades ago.  However, a recent technological breakthrough has opened up the Bakken’s massive reserves and we now have access of up to 500 billion barrels.

And because this is light, sweet oil, those billions of barrels will cost Americans just $16 PER BARREL!  That’s enough crude to fully fuel the American economy for 41 years straight. And if THAT didn’t throw you on the floor, then this next one should – because the report is from TWO YEARS AGO.  You can read all about it.  (U. S. Oil Discovery- Largest Reserve in the World! Stansberry Report Online – 4/20/2006)

Hidden 1,000 feet beneath the surface of the Rocky Mountains lay the largest untapped oil reserve in the world. It is more than 2 TRILLION barrels .. On August 8, 2005 President Bush mandated its extraction. In three and a half years of high oil prices none has been extracted.

With this mother-load of oil why are we still fighting over off-shore drilling?

The report also reported this stunning news:  It is entirely possible that we have more oil inside our borders, than all the other proven reserves on earth. Here are the official estimates:  8-times as much oil as Saudi Arabia  - 18-times as much oil as Iraq – 21-times as much oil as Kuwait – 22-times as much oil as Iran – 500-times as much oil as Yemen – and it’s all right here in the Western United States.  I find it somewhat curious that no mention is made of Venezuela who we import 5% of our crude.

HOW can this BE? HOW can we NOT BE extracting this?

Because the environmentalists and others have blocked all efforts to help America become independent of foreign oil.  The major oil companies secreting it away doesn’t seem to help matters any either. Again, we are letting a small group of people dictate our lives and our economy.  WHY?  James Bartis, lead researcher with the study says we’ve got more oil in this very compact area than the entire Middle East -more than 2 TRILLION barrels untapped.

That’s more than all the proven oil reserves of crude oil in the world today, reports The Denver Post.  Don’t think ‘OPEC’ will drop its price – even with this find?  Think again!  It’s all about the competitive marketplace, – it has to . Think OPEC just might be funding the environmentalists?  Got your attention/ire up yet?  Hope so!  Now, while you’re thinking about it … and hopefully find yourself just a little bit P.O’d, do this: you should stifle yourself.

The next time you want to complain about gas prices (and you will, Americans LOVE to complain) remember this .. because by doing NOTHING, you’ve forfeited your right to complain … cold hard fact of life, sorry. I just wonder what would happen in this country if every one of you sent a copy of this to every one in your address book.

By the way… this is all true …That is the truly sad part.

If you have any problem with it and doubt its validity, please check it out at the link.

Think about this the next time you are reaching deep into that pocket to pony up some bucks for a tank full of liquid gold.  If any of you happen to come across Ol T. Boone, let me know, I want to ask him a question or two.  We now return you to the REAL NEWS in this country, which seems to be which movie star or media personality and/or celebrity is currently pushing up daisies.

OOO

March 6, 2009

Boring and unimportant

Filed under: Oklahoma,Recent — ldsrr91 @ 3:40 am
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

A man who wrongly spent 19 years in prison for rape is set to receive a $1.4 million settlement of a federal lawsuit.  DNA evidence cleared him and the city which had him prosecuted has cut him a check for $300,000 and owes him $1.1 million more.  This figures out to close to $58,000 per year, so now we all know what twenty-years of your life is worth in Louisiana.

Not much.

More prison news, this is a doozy. Faced with a $1.7 million budget deficit, Des Monies County, Iowa is considering charging prison inmates for toilet paper!  They say that the county hopes to raise $2,300 by charging inmates $1 for toilet paper.  I guess the next question might be, “What about the guy who doesn’t have the buck for the paper?” what does he use.

WANTED:  PERSONNEL ARE DESPERATELY NEEDED IN THE GOVERNMENT SECTOR OF THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION.  GOOD PAY, BENEFITS, AND REASONABLE HOURS.  RESPONDENTS MUST NOT BE CURRENT IN THEIR TAX STATUS AND HAVE AT LEAST ONE PENDING DEBT OF $10,000 OR MORE OWED TO THE IRS.  PLEASE APPLY AT 1200 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE.

Here you go!

Tax Troubles Take Five opened at the White house this week with revelations that another of President Obama’s Cabinet-level nominees has problems with unpaid taxes.  This used to be somewhat amusing, but it is appearing far too much here lately, and has kind of gotten old.

Ron Kirk the cabinet appointee owes more than $10,000 in taxes.  The thing that really makes all this so repugnant is the attitude of the Obama administration itself.  Who called Kirk’s tax troubles “minor” and expressed confidence that the Senate will confirm him.  This liaise faire attitude toward these tax cheats should not be tolerated.

Oil Crisis is evidently over.

Gasoline prices are on the rise and the oil industry is sowing seeds for a sharp run-up at the pump, best be ready, because it is on the way.  Americans battered by the recession have found modest consolation or comfort in low oil prices and gasoline price at the pump.  This is a condition that is more than likely going to last as long as business remains dismal and the recession stays in place.

Evidently we no longer have a petroleum problem in the nation, that is good news, isn’t it.

The oil industry is quietly brewing another consumer toxic stew in gas prices once demand recovers and the economy adjusts and starts moving again.  They are slashing new investment and production far more sharply than analysts projected just a couple of months ago.  This of course could lead to shortages later on, and when something becomes short in supply, well you know what happens dont’cha?

It goes up in price.  Get ready boys and girls, it is on the way. Where is T Boone Pickens when we really need him.

What was it the great poets used to say, Life is a tragedy, or a sad play or something like that?

Jerry Seinfeld is tackling martial woes as the behind the scenes producer of the Marriage Ref. a six-episode reality series due on NBC next season.  Squabbling couples will air their differences to a panel of comedians, sports stars and celebrities (only thing this is missing seems to be OJ, but I hear he is tied up at the present time). Just what we need, a recession and unhappy married couples harping at each other in prime time.

Head games on channel twenty-five.

In order to maintain martial harmony in my home, I am often forced to watch insidious mind-numbing shows like Dancin’ With The Stars or American Idol.  Now here is the deal, all these so-called contestants are NOT supposed to know they are being cut or chosen to move on, right?  So last night when they called this little teenage-chickie down to tell her she is moving on in the competition how come they already had her miked?

The other contestants were not wearing mikes … I smell a rat.

supermanAction Comics #1 the book that introduced Superman is going on the auction block.  This is considered a highly collectible item, or considered the Holy Grail of comic books.

Previous to this, another marvel comic book fetched over $350,000 at an auction in 2002.  I used to have a stack of comic books in my closet that was around 4 ft high, when I came home from the service I discovered that my mother had tossed all of them.

So much for my chance at being a millionaire before age twenty-five.


It may be news to foreign policy Pundits in Islamabad as well as to the majority of readers that Superman, the highly coveted American film hero, is an expression and a creation of fascist minds rooted in a political culture that epitomizes power and the use of force.  Muslims do not like Superman and they are not too fond of us.

While we are at it.  The big news on the news today is the local Muslim’s do not want their picture on the drivers lic. and are suing the state.  Here is a novel idea.  YOU DON’T LIKE IT HERE AND DO NOT WANT TO ABIDE BY THE RULES … FORFEIT YOUR CITIZENSHIP AND MOVE TO AN ISLAMIC COUNTRY OR COMMUNITY. Most of us are tired of your act by this time.

Been a somewhat interesting week, I read where a guy tried to rob a finger-licking-chicken joint in Dallas with a stick!  Yes, I said a stick.  Now this is a guy who is going to need Denny Crane or Allan Shore for representation for sure.

Another guy in Oregon was in the process of robbing a car wash when his gun disintegrated and fell to the floor in several pieces.  The employee of the car wash grabbed the first thing handy, a 2,000 ft/lb per square inch hose and let the guy have it!

And in Washington DC this dude came home to find a van parked in his driveway, walking to the windows, he spies three people inside his house, unhooking his flat screen television.  So noticing the van is idling and the keys are in it, he gets inside and drives off with their van to call the cops.

So far, this has to be the absolute winner of them all.  It is short and sweet.


There you go, all you need to know about everything that matters.

Thanks for stopping by, come back soon (and of course, please bring your own paper).

OOO

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