Creative Endeavors, The Home of BoxcarOkie.com

February 2, 2009

Monday-Monday

Filed under: Oklahoma,Recent — ldsrr91 @ 4:05 AM
Tags: , , , , , ,

snow-whiteMonday – Monday, as the Mama’s and the Papa’s used to sing …. Ah February, the month that is really hard to spell, the month where the fake estrogen enriched holiday induced by the Chocolate Makers around the world is celebrated (Valentine’s Day).  Capitalism continues to suffer its greatest collapse, since the Great Depression, I bought a candy bar yesterday and it was only a dollar and sixty-cents.

America’s national debt continues to soar, and President Obama wants to use only American Steel and American products in “The New Deal Rebuild America Plan” and others protest vocally stating that it is “anti-American” to do this.  The Republican party seems to be in shambles, Hannity interviewed Flush Limbaugh this weekend, now that was “dumb and dumber” and the Super Bowl has retired another game to the history books.

FOUND.  DIRTY WHITE DOG.

Looks like a rat.  It has been out awhile.  No collar.  Better be a reward.

Call …..

Man, what a week, I sure hope this one coming down has more promise than the one I just finished, because I am really ready for some good news.

Common sense advice out of Washington DC these days admonishes us all to save energy, to reduce our dependence on “Foreign Energy” and they say, “Use what is under our own feet to sustain us.” They tell us what kind of light bulbs to buy, who to buy them from, the whole nine yards.  And then they quietly look away as jobs are shipped outside the country or they bring in foreign workers to do those jobs and send American’s home.

What is wrong with this picture?

This morning I am reading about our friends in the banking industry, they are in the news again.  SANTA CLARA, Calif. – Banks collecting billions of dollars in federal bailout money sought government permission to bring thousands of foreign workers to the U.S. for high-paying jobs, according to an Associated Press review of visa applications.

The dozen banks receiving the biggest rescue packages, totaling more than $150 billion, requested visas for more than 21,800 foreign workers over the past six years for positions that included senior vice presidents, corporate lawyers, junior investment analysts and human resources specialists. The average annual salary for those jobs was $90,721, nearly twice the median income for all American households.

The figures are significant because they show that the bailed-out banks, being kept afloat with U.S. taxpayer money, actively sought to hire foreign workers instead of American workers.

It is unclear how many foreign workers the banks actually hired; the government does not release those details. The actual number is likely a fraction of the 21,800 foreign workers the banks sought to hire because the government limits the number of visas it grants to 85,000 each year among all U.S. employers.  During the last three months of 2008, the largest banks that received taxpayer loans announced more than 100,000 layoffs. The number of foreign workers included among those laid off is unknown.

So if you have recently been cut loose by not only your employer, but all your friends in Congress.  Please remember that it is often pleasant, even peaceful, to run a household, raise children, and deal with life at home when you mind isn’t filled up and overwhelmed with thoughts of how you could possibly be doing better.

Seen a good movie lately?

Tom Cruise currently starring in a film about a plot to kill Adolf Hitler, told reporters that when he was growing up in the seventies, “I always wanted to kill Hitler.”  Nice, real nice Tom.  While we are on the subject of movies?  West Point cadets began voting on an award for “the movie character that best exemplifies West Point Leadership.”  Nominees selected by the cadets included James Bond, Indiana Jones,, and the late San Francisco gay activist Harvey Milk.  Don’t Ask — Don’t Tell?

Fuzzy picture or no picture you be the judge

With less than one month left to the national switch to all digital television, many consumers with older analog TV sets are reporting trouble changing over.  It appears that the new deal (excuse my pun) pull in fewer stations than with analog, while some report losing the picture altogether.  Now they are saying that you may have “to purchase a more powerful antenna if you want the picture.”  Stay tuned for future developments, please have your credit card and expiration date handy.

It’s good for you … no wait … It’s bad for you … No wait …  It’s good for you, oh what the ________ .

A new survey in Britain suggests that you do not have to take LSD to hallucinate, all you have to do is drink more coffee.  They are now saying that coffee has the ability to stimulate hallucinations and even better if you live close to your neighborhood Starbucks (one of the few they have not shut down).

Hard-core coffee drinkers (those who consume seven or more cups per day … guilty!) are more prone to seeing that things that simply were not there.  They also reported “floating above their bodies” and hearing voices and other sensory disturbances.

And you thought Shirley McClaine was strange?

Or it could be that people who tend to use more of the drug, or that big time coffee drinkers or addicts are drawn to other, more harmful substances as well.  So if you look up at the ceiling fan, and it has five or six little pink elephants on it, with their trunks in the upright position (an Asian sign of good luck) be sure to immediately switch over to the de-caffeinated stuff for a couple of days.

Lick You Later

And finally the “Good News/Bad News” portion of today’s post.  First the Bad News, the U.S. Postal Service is now considering going to a shorter work week and dropping one day deliveries in the United States, they are saying Wednesday.

Which really makes sense, every one needs their mail on Saturday right?

Now for the Good News they are reporting that pilferage of the mail has increased, and it seems they are catching more letter carriers who are hoarding and stealing mail.  The numbers being reported are “far higher” than in previous years.  (Better pick a greeting card with a white envelope this year)

So if your “HallMark Congratulations Mr. Obama Card” didn’t make it … You now know why.

000

“The cartoon courtesy of Center for American Progress” (online)


bumper-sticker

February 1, 2009

Obama -The New Guy

Filed under: Oklahoma,Recent — ldsrr91 @ 12:01 AM
Tags: , , , ,

When I first heard that George Dubya had been arrested for drunk driving some twenty-four years ago, I figured that would be enough to cook his goose, we wouldn’t have to worry about him being our next problem, err, president.

And it were so to speak an unfortunate series of circumstance, because it turned out it didn’t really matter to the voting populace in this country, not one bit.  I thought, “Jeeze, is that all that can get on the guy? This is weaker than a generic aspirin in a very thin bloodstream.”  So we got a Good Ol’ Boy For President, and Cheney for good measure was thrown into the mix.

Who cares how much alcohol was in Bush’s system one night when he was 30 years old.  Most of us would be more concerned about how much Halcyon is being consumed in Waco, Texas on a daily basis.  Or how many brains receptors are in the man’s head on any given day of the week.

We should be very worried about the present … not the past.

Politicians are good at littering the landscape of America, they do it all the time.  A dead young woman was discovered in Teddy Kennedy’s submerged car, yet a few years later Democrats were still trying to draft him for President.  President Clinton cheated on the First Lady with an intern barely out of college, and he found himself “more popular than ever.” Afterwards.  So we’re supposed to care that Bush was caught driving erratically in Kennebunkport in 1976?

Bush did just the opposite, he won the sympathy of beer swillers, tosspots, social drinkers, 12-steppers and forgiving Christians everywhere, as well as all those with blemishes in the past who would like to forget about them. That adds up to about 99,9% of the electorate, including known truth tellers like O.J. Simpson our newest resident of the Nevada High Desert, and of course this comes with a 0.1% margin of error either way.

Back in those days, a reporter might actually ask Bush how he thought he could get by without disclosing his DUI arrest.  What?  Do we have to disclose every dumb thing we ever did in our lives?  (Do they really know about the incident at the bicycle rack in ’63?)  This is and was as I remember it a really pathetic election, offering a clear choice of pathetic candidates.

So as I am mostly cynical and somewhat shaded when it comes to these things, I am wary of this new guy.  Believe it or not, I can get used to disliking the president elect, even before he is sworn in.

Every day I am put in the often awkward position of approving some comment that he is the “next Demi-God, sent here to save us all.” Or some other kind of diverse thinking.  “he is the chosen one sent her by God to lead us out of all this …. “

It surely gets old and tired after awhile.

So even though I am giving him the full benefit of the doubt and a fair shake, I already do dislike him to some extent.  He uses verbs in his speech, he knows and structures sentences.  He’s too damn popular, and I am not used to that, all of these little quirks kinda bother me.

But then again, it doesn’t take a whole lot to set me off these days.  Like my grand-daughter is fond of saying … “Don’t get ugly grandpa.”

000

January 27, 2009

Gone Fishin

Filed under: Oklahoma,Recent — ldsrr91 @ 5:32 PM
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A pig in rural China has taught himself to catch fish.  The pig’s owner, whose name is Han, says she was “amazed” when she first saw the animal wade into her fishpond and retrieve one of her tropical-fish and consume it.

The fish are left over from a breeding business that folded when the price of tropical fish declined and she is happy for the pig to get a little protein in its diet.  And she said that she is going to continue to let him dine at his leisure.

Here are some astonishing numbers for you.

American consumers in 2007 spent more than $12 billion for cosmetic surgery in this country, from 1992 to 2003, the number of breast implants increased some 675%.  But in recent months, because of the recession, the number has sharply dropped, the market has virtually collapsed along with the market for gas guzzling SUV’s jumbo mortgages and other frills.  It appears that the reallocation of income,, from boob jobs to say “food” might just signal a return to sanity in this country by the American consumer.

Another indicator of our …. Ahem …. “Sagging Economy.”

Yesterday the government announced another 50,000 American jobs went down the tubes.  53% of Americans favor passage of a $775 billion stimulus package like the Barack Obama says he will push for Congress.  I don’t believe the number would be so high if they considered the new banking bill  Obama is trying to push thru Congress is loading up with pork, and it appears that it is the same old circus, just a different set of clowns.

$400 million to NASA, millions to artists, new computers for Social Security, how does this “stimulate the economy?”  Looks like President Obama has found his dog, it is named the stimulus package.

It has gotten so bad, that American companies are now actually being forced to make “reliable products, and provide good customer service” in order to drum up business.  Unfortunately for them … there isn’t any business.  My daddy used to say to me “Son, that paycheck of yours, is burning a hole in your pocket.”  Now a days, that pocket don’t even warm up any more.

That is easy for you to say

“Simon gave me advice and said on [UK] The X Factor he always refers to a fortune cookie and says the moth who finds the melon finds the cornflake always finds the melon and one of you didn’t pick the right fortune.” Singer Paula Abdul, during an American Idol Show.  Well, I don’t know about you, but I am glad we got that one cleared up.

Buy Yo’ Ticket Takes Yo’ Chances

Portland Oregon is offering its first raffle, with a guaranteed, $5 million dollar payout.  250K in tickets went on sale making the odds of winning one in 250K which is a long shot, but better than PowerBall (1 in 195M) and Megabucks (1 in 6 M).  More and more states are choosing the lottery outlet to meet their projected tax revenues and shortages.  Wouldn’t this be betting against the house?

Bad news for Emperor Penguins or Polar Bears

A new study released this week states categorically that “the earth’s climate will be irreversible” for at least the next 1,000 years, even after emissions of carbon dioxide are halted.  This means decreasing human water supplies, increased wildfire frequency, ecosystem change and expanding deserts on the planet.  I can just hear Al Gore in the background giggling and snickering.

Bad Cop No Donut.

A 14 year old boy in Chicago who allegedly donned a police uniform and managed to go on a traffic patrol for five hours pleaded not guilty in juvenile court to impersonating an officer.  They judge ordered the boy into custody for several weeks as he could be a threat or a danger to himself.  They said the boy didn’t have a gun, never issued tickets and didn’t drive the police car.

Call Me Sick … But this cracks me up.

There were two buddies, one with a Doberman Pinscher and the other with a Chihuahua. The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says to his friend, “Let’s go over to that restaurant and get something to eat.”

The guy with the Chihuahua says, “We can’t go in there. We’ve got dogs with us.” The buddy with the Doberman Pinscher says, “Just follow my lead.”
They walk over to the restaurant, the guy with the Doberman Pinscher puts on a pair of dark glasses and he starts to walk in. The bouncer at the door says, “Sorry, mac, no pets allowed.” The man with the Doberman Pinscher says, “You don’t understand. This is my seeing-eye-dog.”

The bouncer says, “A Doberman Pinscher?”

He answers, “Yes, they’re using them now; they’re very good and protect me from robbers, too.” The man at the door says, “Come on in.” The buddy with the Chihuahua figures, “What the heck,” so he puts on a pair of dark glasses and starts to walk in.  Once again the bouncer says, “Sorry, pal, no pets allowed.”
The guy with the Chihuahua says, “You don’t understand. This is my seeing-eye dog.”

The bouncer says, “A Chihuahua?” The man with the Chihuahua says, “A Chihuahua? They gave me a Chihuahua?!”

Another Toe Tapper Comes Clean

Fallen evangelical pastor Ted Haggard said he had an “inappropriate relationship” with a male church member, but there was “no physical contact.”  What in the world does that mean?  That is like saying “the role of the lead goose is to break wind on the other geese.”  Oh well, I guess it is all water under a camel’s back.

Stop by tomorrow for I Am Not God II our second in an exciting series (yawn).  Finish each day and be done with it, you have done what you could.

000

January 23, 2009

Doom And Gloom

Filed under: Oklahoma,Recent — ldsrr91 @ 12:11 AM
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chicken-little

The sky is falling!  The sky is falling!  Remember that old nursery rhyme?

What about that Indian in Lil’ Abner, he walked around every where, all day long, with this huge black cloud hanging over his head, threatening to rain.

Everyone it seems is ready to throw in the towel.  Well not me, I got a little left, bring it on.

Even president Obama seemingly is hyperventilating. In Sunday’s speech, before the inauguration, he said “I stand here today as hopeful as ever that the United States will endure.”

Endure?  What, we close up shop and no one told me?

As one reporter on FOX put it:  “Did he think the country might actually go out of business? Merge with France? Sell out to Wal-Mart? That we might decide that Citigroup was too frail, Iraq too complex and our waistlines too bulging to carry on? What did he mean?”

To come to the point quickly, I know all about “endure.”

I just finished eight years of it!

I remember when Cup Cake was sick and she was in the hospital, the doctors were having a little difficulty pin-pointing what was the cause of her condition (blood infection).  She began to have a pity party for one, and was lamenting the fact that “she was going to die.”  So in an effort to cheer her up and bolster her worrisome position I said, “don’t be silly, you owe wayyyyyy too much money to die.“  And that seemed to work.

Same thing here, America is in a tight vise right now, economically speaking, but the rest of it is working out just fine. The voice of doom prognosticators and the media Sooth-Sayers are saying that we are on the edge of our national death bed and surely, the world as we know it is coming to an end.

Aint so.

We are for the most parts, holding our heads above water and things are looking rather good.  Look around, check it out.  Wall Street and the Banker’s are doing better (since we gave them what they wanted) and other than a lousy economy (which we have had before) things are not all that bad.

Take into consideration the Green Initiative being proposed.  At the very least, taking a bold step to do this ourselves instead of farming it out to foreign concerns, the Green Initiative stands to produce some two million jobs.  If we just reach down and grab our bootstraps, roll up our sleeves and get busy, we can turn this thing around in a matter of a few short years.

Advances in technology are improving our standard of living, medicines are improving our health and our longevity, we can now literally reach out to the planet and the world is at our finger tips.  This blog is a good example of that, it is in 170 countries worldwide and it didn’t even exist at this time last year.

USA!  USA!  I aint much … but baby I am all you got.

I like it here, we are living longer, we have 8 out of 10 serious diseases in full retreat.  Our lights are still on, there is still something in the cabinet to eat, and I didn’t fly down to Texas to retire in the Dark Ages of Midland.  Crime is down, been going down for at least ten years now, despite the fact that we lost the war on drugs a long, long time ago.

No more junk mail from MasterCard, Visa or DiscoverCard, my old hoopie is still running and American Idol is back replete with Simon, Randy and Paula … Even kind of dig the new chick, I think she is cool.

I am doing alright.

We have come a long, long ways down the proverbial beaten path, and we are not down and out, not just yet.  None of this signifies the end of civilization or democracy as I know it.  Socially, economically, and technologically speaking, we have made a leap of unparalleled personal and economic freedom, and we will recover.

All you have to do is “see the glass as already broken and everything else too.”  Once you get past that, the rest of it is just a cakewalk to better times.

000
bumper-sticker

January 18, 2009

River City Blues (video)

Filed under: Oklahoma,Uncategorized — ldsrr91 @ 12:30 AM
Tags: , ,

If Doris “deep in the heart of Texas” can take some pride in her heritage … Why can’t you?  Nothing stopping you, go for it.  Mr. Obama cannot do it all … You have to do your part. What was that thing James Brown used to shout … I am black … I am proud … Shout it out loud. As they say south of the Red River, “It’s an attitude thang, Y’all.”

If you want to contact this talented lady here is the link:  RiverCityBluz


One-One Day

Filed under: Oklahoma,politics,Recent — ldsrr91 @ 12:17 AM
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gift-card

Your first day of boot camp is known as your “one-one day” (first week – first day) and as you progress thru the regime, that changes.  Today is Mr. Obama, or I guess I should say, President Obama’s One-One day.  It would be so much more joyous and wonderful an occasion if he was not stepping onto a stage that isn’t littered with the bad mistakes and body bags of those who preceded him.

Perhaps this is the start of a greater good for the nation, where the old wounds and the scars from the past are healed within the womb of our new First Family.  CrackerBoy said it well today on his site:  Black Cats is the name of the piece.

Soon the euphoria and the Honey Moon will be over, reality will set in, and the healing process or the continuing decay will again be in the forefront and under a close scrutiny by all. The pundits and the critic’s will again have their day.

America — Sick or healed, only God knows the answer.

As we speak, the newly unemployed are lining up in the nation’s air-conditioned bars to commiserate over their layoffs.  It is hot and smoky inside, as the gin and tonic’s flow freely.  Buddy, can you spare a lime?  They do not cry alone, for reports of loss of thousands of jobs isn’t all that strange anymore.  And these thousands are joined by a new phenomenon: Unmitigated optimism and a promise of a new deal.

Can Mr. Obama turn all this around or has George Bush done so much damage to the economy and the country in general, that it is simply irreversible.  This is our new reality.  And for the most part, you as a member of a democracy are powerless to do anything about it.  When you get the boot these days, your rights stop right there.  You no longer have rights; rights are old hat, passé’.

So where does this leave you, the savvy dismissed worker who has to adopt an air of hurt nobility and then slink off into obscurity.  Do you berate your employer for leading you down the garden path of life — for making you work long hours in the expectation of advancement or at least job security.  For allowing you to foolishly think that you would get your slice of the American Dream?

Or do you sympathize with the employer’s plight.  He had no option but to axe you and 3,000 of your fellow workers, it was you or the corporate jet.  Tough choices had to be made.

Recently a friend of mine used the word “betrayed” when he discussed or described the mess we seem to be in right now.  He said, “The Bush Administration and the rest of them had betrayed us, and that they should have to stand trial for their crimes against the Constitution and the American people.”  Which to a certain degree, I have to agree.  They surely made it quite clear that they feel we are owed nothing in all this.  Nothing but a $4,000 (and growing) tax burden for each and every one of us.

So we check our watch and low and behold, it is time for “The New Deal.”

But is it?  The last time this was tried on a major scale was some 75 years ago, with unpredictable results, some say it worked and some say it did not.  What we have now compared to then would shock FDR, this new deal is some $1.5 Trillion and counting upwards.  Face it, here is the reality, the last time this country tried to get something on the scale of this done, was the Golden Gate Bridge and Hoover Dam, both delivered on time and under cost.  But those things never happen these days, ask anyone in Boston, and throw in the words “Big Ditch.”

Not only is this administration studying the principles and techniques of FDR, they are also studying his speeches, searching for the rhetoric necessary to convince this populace that all of this will work.  Resurrecting FDR from the dead isn’t going to accomplish what it is that we need.  In his time the country was dead broke, millions out of work and for the most part, all of the policies offered by his administration did not work, it was World War II that ended the recession or depression, whatever they are calling it this week.

Mr. Obama wants to overhaul the nation’s roads and bridges, improve inner-city schools, update the power grid, and launch a host of other wildly ambitious projects.  And he wants to do all this with enormously complex legislation passed and implemented in a matter of weeks.  Now step back and take a look at that.  The recent billion dollar bailout of the bankers and Wall Street was passed in a record amount of time, literally weeks.

As Dr. Phil is fond of saying …. “How’s that working for you?”

Mr. Obama wants it right now.  He wants all of it now, he wanted it yesterday, to insure that all of it (deficit spending) will have a chance of helping the country now, rather than later on down the line.

Ambitious, yes.  Smart, we’ll see.

Everyone is being promised that things will be better, much better, in the long run.  Only one snag in that school of thought.  “People eat every day, they do not eat in the long run, and neither do their children.” As for me, I don’t have any quick answers just my thoughts on the matter and that is about it.

If President Obama does accomplish this feat, he will evidently be, hands down, one of the greatest presidents this country has ever seen.  If he doesn’t … he will be on the bottom rung of the food chain, and it will be soon, about this time next year I would venture to say.  That is how America works these days — That is — when America is “working.”

Yesterday the G.O.P., The Democrats and all the others got their message of change —  now we will see if anyone was listening.

000

Parting Shot: Yes We Did



“The cartoon courtesy of Center for American Progress” (online)

January 17, 2009

Chilly America

Filed under: Oklahoma,Recent — ldsrr91 @ 1:17 AM
Tags: , , , , , , ,

winter-map

Back home and it is cold.  Been an interesting week.  Life is so good to me, now I can vividly remember when George Bush gave his “final-final-this is really it-goodbye speech.”  I stared at the television and thought to myself, “I cannot believe this nightmare is finally winding down and he is truly going to go away.”

Visibly frustrated beyond belief, I wanted to take off my shoe and throw it at him, but unfortunately, we pawned our last pair of shoes on Wednesday to buy some groceries.

We Have Closed Our Stinking Springs!

Idaho Falls Idaho – Federal officials said they will redraw a map that mistakenly includes part of an eastern Idaho ski area as closed to people. The Bureau of Land Management’s Stinking Springs winter wildlife closure map includes 66 acres of Kelly Canyon Ski Resort. Closures are intended to help reduce wildlife interactions with humans during the tough winter months.

Are You Water-boarding My Wife?

Kind of a slow day, think I will drive down to my wife’s employer and ask them a question.  “Each morning I bring to you my wife, she is fresh, she is smiling, she is in a good mood.  The woman that I love radiates with good will and energy.  At four P.M. I come to pick her up, and you deliver to me, the She Cat From Hell!  What are you people doing to her anyway?”

Sarah Palin Is Mad At The Media

Sarah announced this week that she has had it with bloggers and the media, then she turned around to complain to …… Yeppers … The media.  It will be great when her new book comes out this spring, then we will finally find out the truth on all this.  Don’t you just love it when they write a novel or a book, then we get to find out if the person had past lives where she was an explorer of the frozen north, an empress who tried to seduce a king, a priestess of politics or a maxi-pad.

New Action Figure in West Palm Beach

West Palm Beach Florida – A man with a visible potbelly – and a memorable disguise – tried without success to haul away two different ATMs over the past two weeks, the Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office said.  Security video from the ATMs showed the man dressed in a black ninja outfit with a hood that revealed only his eyes.

What?  The Great American Prairie is empty?

Bismarck South Dakota – Officials in the state’s largest cities are trying to find places to put all the snow. In Bismarck, a pile in the parking lot at the Famous Dave’s barbecue restaurant is nearly 20 feet high. Manager Shane Frank said workers have had to shoo neighborhood children off the newfound sledding hill for fear of injuries.  It works the same way with a pile of sand on the driveway in the summertime.

Kids are after all … kids.

On the other end of the country, frustration was mounting in Spokane, Washington after freak winter storms buried the normally arid eastern Washington city under six feet of snow.  This has snarled traffic, disrupted garbage collections, and frayed the tempers and nerves of many residents.  Police are now reporting incidents of “Snow Rage.”  One man allegedly shot at a snow plow operator simply for honking at him.

Not Right Now Honey … The Game Is On.

A group of U.S. congressmen asked House Speaker Nancy Pelosi to rearrange the voting schedule so that they could watch a football game.  In a note to Pelosi to “kindly consider” rescheduling votes so that he and other lawmakers could attend the national title game between Florida and Oklahoma.  Pelosi’s office denied the request.

Oklahoma choked and blew it, but if you bet on Florida, you came out alright.  Anytime Oklahoma goes to a bowl game, bet the other side, because Sooners they like to party too much the night before.

Holier than thou, or at least, taller.

A small Brazilian farming town announced plans this week to erect a statue of a 128 foot tall Jesus.  This is 4 feet taller than the country’s famous Christ the Redeemer in Rio de Janeiro.  Here is a miracle for you.  A supposedly paraplegic Mexican woman who’d been begging for change from her wheelchair jumped up and ran down the street when a security guard saw her trying to augment her income by breaking into a store.

Can You Spare A Dime

You ever notice that the beggar on the street corner always has a smoke?  Cigarettes selling for $4 a pack and higher in some areas of the country, but they always seem to have one.  And last week, a totally new wrinkle.  Standing there on the corner with the customary cardboard sign that says “stranded — homeless — anything will help” and he reaches into his shirt pocket, fishes out a cellphone and takes a call.

I believe I have seen it all.  No!  I Don’t Have A Quarter!

While we are on the subject (cell phones).  Clermont Florida – Brad Cox is lucky to have an unlimited text messaging plan. His daughter, Emilee, 14, sent or received more than 35,000 messages a month twice in the past year, a volume confirmed by Sprint. Emilee’s big month was June, when she tallied 35,463 text messages, about 1,182 a day. She attributed the spike to trading messages with friends while at cheerleading camp.  Here is a probable candidate for either carpal syndrome or a brain tumor for sure.

Obama Fever Grips The Nation

Just A Few Days Until The Celebration

The country is gearing up for its “Day In History” and the huge celebration in Washington DC.  This should be some shin-dig for sure.  Dancin’ In The Streets — The whole nine yards.  We in the Heartland will be tucked back into our warm cocoons and will watch in comfort and warmth from our living rooms.  At my age, that is the only type of history I am capable of celebrating.  Living in about the “reddest state in the nation” I am all too familiar with the drill.

Two Oklahoma farmers were discussing politics and the first one says: “I believe in a share and share alike policy. One where we are all equal.”

“Well” replied the other farmer “I’m not sure about that. What you mean is that if you have two horses you’d give me one?”

“Of course” says the first.  The second farmer continued: “And if you had two cars, you’d give me one of them too?”

“Absolutely”

“So” says the second farmer, “if you had two pigs then you’d give me one of them?”

“Ah, now hang on a minute” says the first farmer, “you know I’ve got two pigs!”

000

January 14, 2009

Bogus G.O.P. Garbage

Filed under: Oklahoma,Recent — ldsrr91 @ 2:58 AM
Tags: , , , , ,

mailboxThere seems to be this under-current circulating thru America that if you involve yourself in political causes, that it will increase your brain power.  As we listen to the candidates and think about what is being said, the brain processes the information, which in turn grows neural connections.

At least that is the way I understand it.

If you watched the presidential debates, your brain got as much exercise as it would have working a math problem.  Especially if you cared which candidate won.  They say the greater the levels of emotion or commitment further enhance the brain processes.

What a week!  I just trashed another “I hate Jane Fonda Report” why is it people in this country cannot forgive?  Sure she made mistakes, but who hasn’t, why is it some forty years later, we are still trying to kick her A** around?  Isn’t it time to bury the hatchet and move on.

I also continue to receive a lot of negative stuff on Mr. Obama too.

News Flash!  The election is over, see if you can somehow visualize that concept and place that between your ears people.  It is over, it is time to move on, you people are kicking the wrong dog.

For the most part, you are now in the minority, like it or not.  Give it up.  It amazes me how popular the guy really is, I don’t ever remember in history a guy being so dog-gone popular (In my recorded history that is) and being hated so much at the same time.  Here is a small sample of the drivel that comes in.

The message starts out with Greetings:

As I reflect on 2008, I can say we had a great year: Blacks are happy; Obama was elected. Whites are happy, OJ is in jail. Democrats are happy; George Bush is leaving office.  Republicans are happy: Democrats will finally quit saying George Bush stole the election.  And all of us are so happy; The election is finally over!

I think 2009 will be even better: Immediately after his inauguration, Obama will balance the budget, revive the economy, solve the real estate problem, solve the auto industry problem, solve our gas/alternative energy problem, stop the fires and mudslides in California, ban hurricanes and tornadoes, stop identity theft, reverse global warming, find Osama, solve the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, get rid of corruption in government and achieve world peace .

Then on the 7th day, He will rest.

My best wishes to you for 2009.  Remember, however: “The government cannot give to anyone anything that it does not first take from someone else.”    (Brother Phil)

“The government cannot give to anyone anything that it does not first take from someone else.” I mean gee whiz, if you are going to quote someone, at least have the decency to say who it was … My guess is Andrew Jackson on this one.

No one, Obama or otherwise could accomplish all of those stated goals during one presidential term, it is laughable to think so, and blatantly unfair to imply that it is even possible.

Of the fifteen listed goals I would be personally thankful if he accomplished one or two, to tell you the truth.  While we are so busy kicking the wrong dog, I would be thankful if the government of the United States worked one week or one lousy day on a level that was not dysfunctional.

I am tiring of all these email critics, who send out this drivel, written by some ignorant fool and then passed on by someone who evidently shares the same short-sighted view of the world, which makes them what?

[Fill in the blank]

Bottling up your feelings I understand is actually a useful strategy for getting over a traumatic event in your life (the loss of your favorite hamster or Congressional seat).  Sitting down to just undermine someone who hasn’t even had a chance to start, is moronic and lame.  Evidently for some people pushing away memories of an awful experience (losing a national election) is more therapeutic than talking it out.

One thing for sure, Brother Phil where-ever he is, isn’t growing very many neural connections these days, he seems to be regressing.  So here it is, like my wife says, “not sugar coated.”

“If you really do have my best wishes at heart, stop sending me crap like this.  Stop passing it around to your family and friends.”

Now if you excuse me, I have other rats to kill.  Like  …  Calling that truck guy and tell him we have another load of Republican horse-manure ready for the Home & Garden Center.”

Send this to all your family and friends Brother Phil.

000

RELATED: Political Gasbags

January 12, 2009

Gentle Thoughts

Filed under: Oklahoma,Recent — ldsrr91 @ 2:12 AM
Tags: , , , ,

It’s a lovely, lovely day in the neighborhood, everything is working out just fine.  Hi Boys & Girls, and how are you this fine, fine Monday morning?  Here is today’s lesson on civics.  It is not who you know, but what you know. That is what makes Homosapiens with opposing thumbs, different from the rest of the monkey’s in the zoo.

Today is the last day for my favorite knuckle dragger, the end of a dynasty is today.  No more metawork for our fist chief responder.  Metawork is the pursuit of trivial or unnecessary work that is done to avoid having to perform the real task at hand while simultaneously taking the credit for it.  In the business world, metawork often manifests itself in the form of meetings, mission statements, project planning, or anything else that lets a person become part of the team without actually doing something productive.

Whole new ballgame starting soon, the change is in the air, as we speak.

No more press conferences from a guy who’s name shall forever never be spoken.  We now have a better speller, snappier dresser, better writer/composer, sense of humor, someone who can speak and actually make sense, who possesses a working vocabulary, might even dream in color, and seems to relate well with others.

But then again, if you take a quick look at what we have had, it is apparent that just about anyone could fill his shoes.

I am for example kinder, gentler, cuddlier, somewhat affectionate, articulate, pragmatic, honest, moral, humble and not from Texas.  I am confident in my stature, posses an open, clean, unobstructed, garbage free mind, I therefore have the capacity of recognizing boundless opportunities in my life and openly share that with others, a positive trait by most standards.

Only one thing that stops me from being President of this country —

I smoked dope.

Yup, and unfortunately, I inhaled.

But putting that aside, most of the above mentioned traits makes me a pretty nice guy.  So as you can readily see — All the above separates me from he-who’s-name-is-never-to-be-spoken-again.  Which is safe to say, because you see, they broke the mold when they made me, I don’t resemble anyone on the face of the planet or in the next three counties.

Curse or blessing, you decide.  I don’t care, you know that.

Please remember that it is a lovely, lovely day in the neighborhood.  What is important here is that you have a great day!  May you get a clean bill of health from your dentist, your cardiologist, your gastro-enterologist, your urologist, your proctologist, your podiatrist, your psychiatrist, your plumber and the I.R.S..

May your hair, your teeth, your hairline, belly, your abs and your stocks not fall; and may your blood pressure, your tri-glycerides, your cholesterol, your white blood count and your mortgage interest not rise.

May this week find you seated around the table, together with your beloved family and cherished friends.  May you find the food better, the environment quieter, the cost much cheaper, and the pleasure much more fulfilling than anything else you might ordinarily do this day.

Still with me?  Well, bless your heart!

May what you see in the mirror delight you, and what others see in you delight them.  May someone love you enough to forgive your faults, be blind to your blemishes, and brave enough to tell the world of your virtues.

May those bothersome pesky telemarketers wait to make their sales calls until you have finished your dinner, may the commercials on TV not be louder than the program you have been watching, and may your check book and your budget balance — and include generous amounts for charity.

i-love-you1May you remember to say “I love you” at least once a day to your spouse, your child, your parent, your siblings; but not to your co-worker, your nurse, your masseuse, your barber or your tennis instructor (who by the way, is a person that “love” means nothing anyway).

May we all wake up tomorrow in a world that will try and celebrate peace and with the awareness of God’s love in every sunset, every flower’s unfolding petals, every baby’s smile, every lover’s kiss, and every wonderful, astonishing, miraculous beat of our hearts.

May we find the peace in our quiet moments of the day to thank God for the many blessing in our lives, of which, in case you have not noticed — I am one.  As I said, it is Monday, and —  It’s a lovely, lovely day in the neighborhood, everything is working out just fine.

Good-bye Dubya, I would like to say it has been fun, but it hasn’t.

000




January 8, 2009

The Daily Weenie Report

Filed under: Oklahoma,politics,Recent — ldsrr91 @ 4:06 AM
Tags: , , , , , ,

Hey guys, you are doing great, if you have not looked at the counter lately, take a gander at the numbers, over 915,000 we are going to hit the goal of 1 million visitors this month, a full two months early. This is a lofty accomplishment we have done, can anyone point out a webpage that has exceeded a million hits in ten months, I doubt it.

This is why I say this is one of the fastest growing blogs on wordpress.com, because like it or not, it is.  Thanks for passing the address around troops, it has surely made a difference.

My wife says I ought to “sugar coat this every now and then” which would be fine, but it would also be lying.  Running fast and loose with the truth is not always successful and often will end up coming back to bite you in the end.

Excess is relative, and inveterate liars often find it hard to understand why others object to a bit of embroidery.  And in this view I sympathize a little, for what blogger would refuse to stretch a point here, fill a gap there, round a corner in the another place, if that were needed to make a true story better?

Which brings me to the point my wife of many years is constantly trying to make.  She always says to me “You take a little story, and then you make it much BIGGER.”

Which is not necessarily true, “What I do Is embellish in order to clarify” there is a distinct difference.

I am myself, in most things, as honest as I can conveniently be, and when I tell you a true story as I have already, and will do frequently in the future, I will do my level best to tell it as accurately as I can.  Now on the other hand, you have some who will kind of round it all off, stretch it a little bit favorably in their direction or just outright lie.

They are called elected officials “Democrats and Republicans” boys & girls.

Please remember when you visit this site, one of the fastest growing blogs on the WordPress.com forum and the home of the Oprah Winfrey Couch Jumper Hopeful, that he will do his level best to enhance the good life in America for the benefit of others.  Never try to take away from them.  And at the same time, he doesn’t have all the answers, most of the time, he has even forgotten the questions.

But our resolve is strong, our goals are real.

It is our profound hope that we can help you in any matter that is bothering you and that we can at the same time point out to you in this, a totally New Year, that you are the answer to the dilemmas in your life.  You are the answer to God’s expectations in your life.  You are the answer to that which is required of you in this plan.

Not Creative Endeavors … Not Mr. Obama … None of those count.

We, as a race of people, have no valid excuse to be a failure before God or men.  We have to start doing what we know is the right thing, and we need to adhere to the rules of life that we are supposed to know at this juncture in time.  It is time to stop waiting on others to get it together, we are the answer, it is our duty to tell those who do not understand, our problems, our concerns, fears and anxieties, the truth regardless if they want to hear it or not.

Like I have pointed out …

We are the answer, they work for us, from Mr. Obama all the way down.

Bush is gone, or soon to be, and we will not have him to kick around anymore.  If we keep doing what we have been doing, then it is fairly safe to assume, we are going to get more of what we didn’t want to have in the first place.

If you want to experience peace, tranquility, security in this New Year, then it is up to you to start doing things better.  Pick up a telephone or write a letter (95% of them have email now).

To know what is right and not to do it, is the worst cowardice.

000


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