Creative Endeavors, The Home of BoxcarOkie.com

February 7, 2011

After The Storm

Filed under: Life,Oklahoma — ldsrr91 @ 4:18 AM
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Pipes froze on us this weekend, Old Man Winter rolled through our neck of the woods, and illustrated to us once again, “Who it is  that is in charge, and it is not us.”  I find it interesting, that we all shop for groceries, we get to work, we help each other out of the ditch, in other words, “we get the job done despite the weather.”

But no one, can get out here to pick up my trash.

Valentine’s Day is about a week away, I need to give that some concern today and of course. locate a new company to take care of my trash.  But I am sure you didn’t come here to listen to me whine about garbage.  You came for the other stuff.

I didn’t start out to write a testimonial about my wife, Cup Cake, but it appears that is where I am heading. She is a definite plus in my life, hates it when I write about her, and she adds to my life each day, I am a lucky guy to have discovered her all those years ago.  When I am down, she helps to pick me up, and I guess that is why the majority of these people, unhappy people on the net, are single people. Living alone, no partner, maybe a cat, a lot of people on the net have cats. What is the deal on that?

Oh well, this is going nowhere.  Let us try a different tack.  This one will definitely make me some friends.  Married people are also smarter, another distinct advantage to being monogamous. Now if you are young and just starting out and reading this, you will more than likely not understand. You might even take offense. But this is a true statement.

Here is something else you possibly did not know.  Changes that occur in the brain during the early stages of love are not conducive to intellectual pursuits. The feeling of euphoria, the sometimes obsessive desire to be with your beloved, all make concentration on anything else, almost impossible.  It is when you reach our age, the Crescent of Life, the stage where most of it is ….. “C’mere, get away, C’mere, get away, C’mere, get away, C’mere, get away,” you then reach an understanding of it all.

As I understand it. When people in the early stages of infatuation are shown photos of their sweethearts and told to think about them, areas of the brain rich in the chemical dopamine are activated.  Dopamine produces very powerful pleasurable sensations. Cocaine and amphetamine, for example, produce their effects by spurring the release of dopamine.

When people MY AGE are shown similar pictures, they just sort of get irritated because you woke up them up from their nap.

In other words, mature relationships do not produce dopamine, euphoria, and generally speaking, are less responsive when shown a picture of their significant other.  Unless you are like me. I have what is known as a pornographic mind, I can remember every dirty picture I have ever seen. But I cannot speed read for some reason, wonder what that is about? It sure would make reading my prescription bottles a lot faster.

I am glad that I have my little China Doll, she completes me (not like Tom Cruise mind ya) and helps me thru the difficult times, I am glad that we are “hooked up” as the younger set puts it. Lately, I have been devoting a lot of time to thinking about our Golden Years.

We are both Baby Boomers, and quickly approaching that time of our lives, where we must give serious consideration to the twilight years that are now just over the horizon. The years that we thought would NEVER get here, are suddenly right there, staring us in the eye.

In America the youngsters have a tendency to farm out the old people to the nursing home or assisted living, sad truth, but it happens with disturbing reality in this country.  Other civilizations and cultures revere the elderly, but not in this country, the aged or elderly, much like everything else, we often deem that they are disposable.  WE become the garbage in life and seldom is there anyone available to pick us up.

Sadly this is the norm.

I don’t want no stinkin’ nursing home, assisted living, or anything like that. I also want someone with enough courage and guts standing next to my bed that will unplug me and allow me to depart, with a modicum of dignity.

So there, I am on record about that.

The other day I was talking to a lady at the Appliance Repair shop and she mentioned something I found interesting. I may have accidentally discovered a possible solution to it all. (Even a blind hog can find an acorn every now and then)  The average nursing home expense in this country is now approaching something like $2,400 per month. Who has that kind of discretionary income in this day and age, certainly not me. So I have hit upon a possible solution, we will take a cruise, several cruises per year actually.

Think about it.

Three meals a day. Doctor’s on a cruise ship, 24-7 so that is not a problem. New friends, not each day, but all of the time. Room and board. No home maintenance, no property taxes. Visiting strange and new places or just sitting on the deck and taking in the sun. No Grandkids under foot, no phone, no pager, no answering machine/voice mail.  Okay stop it, I hear you snickering in the background, saying “the fool has finally lost his mind!” This is my personal dopamine-driven euphoria to a more mindful cultivation of love and respect.  Flowers and candlelight dinners help, but so do exploring and experiencing the world together until the bitter end, this carries a certain appeal to me.

Face the facts. We can not all be the Ex-Governor of Alaska and move to Nevada and open up a empire of high-end brothels, which will feature the services of classy celebrity starlets who do not wear underwear and are on the downslide of life.

A few of us, are going to be left behind, to fend for ourselves.

Yup, that are a plan to me. It surely beats sitting around in some lonely, dark room with a cat, typing what a miserable rotten life you have and then posting it on some board, full of dysfunctional lost souls who are living fruitless, lives of desperation with their beloved cats.

Me and the Miss’us are gonna take a cruise.

That is better than sitting in matching bathtubs, holding hands on some mysterious beach location in California, staring at the fading sunset, living better thru the wonders of chemistry.  (Levitra commercials … I mean really … who has matching bathtubs, give me a break)  So that is the plan. We are going to set sail on the Geritol Love Boat … We will send you a post card from the edge, when we do get there.

I sure hope the sun is shining there.

OOO

June 15, 2008

My Dad …

I fondly recall a time, a long time ago, when as a child, my father drove all the way from California to Guthrie, Oklahoma to surprise his father on Father’s Day.  A distance of some 1,600 miles and about three days. I remember how my father’s face lit up, when he looked at that old man (my grandfather) and said, “No really, did I surprise you?  I really wanted this to be a surprise.”  

It was so important to him at the time.  An object lesson in love, how he always strived for their love, but in the end, got so little of it in return.

If I remember it right, it was a trip by means of U.S. #50, “The Loneliest Highway In America,” and across Kansas that trip.  We came back every two years, and we always came a different way, if it were possible.  In order to visit different locales, and see different things. 

Pulling into sleepy little Gunnison, Colorado early in the morning, and Mom commenting, “Lord, look at the price of that gas!” (which at the time was about 21 cents per gallon)  Driving down to the end of a dusty road out on the prairie to see “The World’s Largest Prairie Dog” (which was made out of concrete). 

The land of To-To and Dorothy, the Kingdom of Oz and the Yellow Brick Road. Old Dodge City and the fragrant feedlots of the plains.  Rivers that ran as red as the sun, mile after mile of nothing but wheat, no trees.

I remember watching out the window, the thunderstorms on the plains, and how fascinating they were, as we did not have thunderstorms in our particular area of Northern California.  The awesome beauty of them, and the awe that they carried along with them, the power, the majesty, the wonder of it all.  Now some fifty years later, I am somewhat jaded, and very used to them.  Strangely I am still not comfortable with these storms but they still hold wonder for me.

My Dad, showed all these things to me when I was a kid. 

Your father is the guy that will give you the watch for a present after the race, and you will say, “But Dad, I didn’t win the race.”  And he will smile and say, “it is not for winning son, it is for trying.”  No playbook available for being a Dad, you just shoot it from the hip.  When I was young I used to believe that my Dad was Superman, but then I grew up and realized that he just wore the cape.  He passes on the wisdom of the sage, which in my case was “Use your head for something b’sides a hat rack!”

Your Ol’ man is the guy that had to get up and milk 25 head of cows before breakfast, in order to get an allowance of .25 cents per week.  Who walked five miles to school, uphill, both ways, in snow five feet deep and he was only four feet tall.  I remember when I quit smoking, I called my Dad and said, “Hey Dad, I quit smoking!” he said, “That is great son.”  My mom called me a quitter.

I remember one time, we took him out on a freight train, as he was a great train lover.  We put him behind the controls of that locomotive, little old short train, not very heavy, not much to keep track of.  My brother in law told me later, that my Dad “talked about running that train for years afterward” and each time it got heavier, and heavier, an a whole lot longer. 

That was my Dad. 

Dad is gone now, been gone 10-12 years, I have lost track, but I still miss him.  I keep a picture of him right here on my desk and every day I glance down at it and I remember.  I see him in my minds eye, standing in the airport in Oakland, California, huggin me before I went to boot camp and eventually to the ‘Nam.  A 17 year old wide-eyed vagabond soul who toured the world for some three and one-half years before coming home, a tatooe’d seasoned veteran.

I see him washing and polishing his old Merc’ and shining up the chrome.  Laying on the bed in the bedroom, watching “Wheel Of Fortune” and yelling out to no one in particular, The Green Grass Of Home …. I knew that! 

Shaking his head from side to side and muttering  .. That dumb kid.

Losing Dad early has not helped matters all that much.  I don’t have a “sounding board” to find out what is going on.  He went before me, and I expected at this stage in life, I would have someone I could call and ask questions of concerning how it is I feel, what I believe my tired old frame is doing these days.  Why don’t I have any strength left. 

Find out if it is age or if it is the diabetes. 

But he is not here, he has gone on, and I have to stumble blindly thru life, trying to make sense of it all.  And believe me on some days, it can be a real head scratcher for me.

We were out in ‘Vegas once, and I got a little lucky, had some extra change in my pocket, so I looked at my Old Man, and I said, “Here, I am kind of flush, doing alright, I want you to have this $50.  You did a lot for me when I was a kid, and I want you to have it.” and then I handed the bill to him.  “Take it Dad, and buy something with it that will make your life a little bit more comfortable, a little better.” 

I suppose he bought my mom something with it.  That’s just the kind of guy he was … My Dad.

 000

 

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