Creative Endeavors, The Home of BoxcarOkie.com

February 22, 2013

Friday Markup

Lee Judge

Does history repeat itself:  Guns … Guns … Guns.  How quickly we forget.  It is not always guns … guns are not the problem.  Andrew Kehoe blew up a school bus in Beth Township, Michigan.  Kehoe also killed his wife and firebombed his own farm, all of this happening just as the charges he had placed under a local school went off.  

Which ended up killing 37 elementary school children and two teachers.  Then he drove to the school, in a car loaded up with shrapnel and detonated that, killing three adults, a schoolboy and himself.

 All of this happened in 1922.  

Three days later, Charles Lindbergh landed in Paris and completed his trans-Atlantic flight, the nation and the world quickly forgot about the worst diabolical act of home grown terrorism and worst massacres in U.S. History. 

Barn Burner:  Yesterday’s post, Stumped In Oklahoma went over 1,700 views in one day period, that is kind of amazing.  You keep on chopping, day after day, and the chips keep flying, and then every now and then, you hit one out of the park.  Who would have thunk thet?

“Handpicked highlights brought to you from the wordpress editors”  …  Our friends over at Fresh Pressed have put up a real head-banger, 3,700 words on a Gay porn star who has committed suicide and the possible reasons for this.  Uh huh … sure.  Fully believing that people will believe the truth when they hear it, here is the bottom line.  People who commit suicide are selfish, and they are only thinking of themselves, not the people they left behind to mourn. 

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Gasoline The New Gold Standard: The price of gasoline has increased .50 cents this month, today is the 36th day it has increased in price, and I fully expect it to continue to spiral out of sight (Who is going to stop the carnage?).  At the current rate, if it is to continue at this accelerated pace, a gallon of gas should be somewhere around $8.40 a gallon by Christmas.  

 If you want to read more on it, here is a link.

Sitting on the dock of the bay:  I keep thinking about these two old boys, sitting on a boat dock in Alabama, and hurtling thru space is a chunk of rock, big as a bus, moving at 33,000 miles per hour.  What do you think the expression is going to be on their face when that monster rock plows into the pond they are fishing in?  I am sorry …. but it just makes me smile.  Here is something else I found amusing this week.

Sweet Dreams:  You ever lie in your bed, that special early time in the morning, where you are not exactly asleep, but you still have your eyes closed?  I have just had another nice dream, one of those sweet dreams, where you just don’t want to open your eyes, and lose the image in your brain that has brought you release from the trials of life.  

In my younger days, my mom would call them Happy Dreams, and we will leave it that.  Anyway, she was there, Penny from the Big Bang Theory and she shared some time with me last night and I just don’t want to get up, I don’t want to open my eyes.

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 Which is a lot, lot better than those other dreams.  

Y’know, the one’s where you are naked and walking backwards in the dark, and you brush up against a warm buttered doorknob, don’tcha just hate those kind of dreams?

Have a great weekend.  We are headed into round three of winter weather and most likely will be shut in, napping our day away and of course ….. dreaming.  (heh-heh)

OOO

Cartoon courtesy of American Progress Online
 

Most read this week on Creative Endeavors:

Home page / Archives  
Bikinis (The reason men are pigs)  
Negative Ruminations  
Wow … Wow … Oh Wow!  
Take Your Pick  
Wood Ice Chest  
Lover’s Day  
Truck Month – Stumped In Oklahoma  
House Battery Workover  
50 Plates For My Brother (audio)

February 21, 2013

Negative Ruminations

imgresFor the first time in something like 200 years, a Pope is resigning and throwing in the towel.  Two books on the subject say that “the internal politic’s of the church” are the main culprit and that the stress and strain of dealing with it on a daily basis is why the Head Man In Charge is stepping down. 

Too many cooks will often spoil the soup, is what my Mama used to say, and it appears that all this negative influence has pulled the man down.  Details can be found here.

This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your parade. So remember this the next time someone who knows nothing and cares less tries to make your life miserable.

There was a woman who was at her hairdresser’s getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband.  She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:  “Rome?  Why would anyone want to go there? It’s crowded and dirty. You’re crazy to go to Rome.  So, how are you getting there?” 

“We’re taking Continental,” was the reply. “We got a great rate!” 

“Continental?” exclaimed the hairdresser. “That’s a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they’re always late.  So, where are you staying in Rome?”

“We’ll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome ‘s Tiber River called Teste.”  The hairdresser responded: “Don’t go any further. I know that place.  Everybody thinks its gonna be something special and exclusive, but it’s really a dump.”

Not to be deterred the woman getting her hair done responded:  “We’re going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope.”

“That’s rich,” laughed the hairdresser. “You and a million other people trying to see him.  He’ll look the size of an ant.  Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You’re going to need it.” 

A month later, the woman again came in for a touchup on her hairdo.

The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.  “It was wonderful,” explained the woman, “not only were we on time in one of Continental’s brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot.  And the hotel was great! They’d just finished a $5 million remodeling job, and now it’s a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner’s suite at no extra charge!” 

“Well,” muttered the hairdresser, “that’s all well and good, but I know you didn’t get to see the Pope.”   

“Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I’d be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me.  Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me..”   

“Oh, really!  What’d he say?” the hairdresser asked.  The woman getting her hair done replied … He said: “Who ****** up your hair?”

Uh, no good huh?  Well whadya expect for free?

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Try this one on for size.

A) The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000.  (B) Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year are 120,000.  (C) Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171  Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services.

Now please consider this: (A) The number of gun owners in the U.S. is estimated to be 80,000,000.  (Yes, that’s 80 million)  (B) The number of accidental gun deaths per year, all age groups, is 1,500.  (C) The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is .0000188  Statistics courtesy of FBI

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So, statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.  Remember that …  “Guns don’t kill people, doctors do.”

So here is the bottom line, where the rubber meets the road:

Not everyone has a gun … But … Almost everyone has at least one doctor.

This means you are over 9,000 times more likely to be killed by a doctor as by a gun owner.  Please alert your friends to this alarming threat.  We must ban doctors before this gets completely out of hand! *

OOO

*Out of concern for the public at large, we withheld the statistics on lawyers for fear the shock would cause people to panic and seek medical attention … (sorry Larry)

February 20, 2013

Hosing You Down and Down

Filed under: Blogging — ldsrr91 @ 10:19 PM

big-oilThis morning, over a cup of Columbian Coffee I come on here and read refineries and the EPA are our problem?  Man-Man, I must have it all wrong.  I had it the other way, “restriction of product, scarcity in supply (on purpose) to drive up prices.”

When it comes to understanding the volatile pricing of gasoline and upper distillates  who can we trust?  Some people say the free market.  But then again, look at the past history of oil in this country.  Gas/Diesel prices kept climbing even as oil prices dropped, all the while as supplies increased.

Oil prices are supposed to fall back when U.S. inventories of crude and petroleum products grow.  So why is it when U.S. crude supply exceeds demand, prices still rise? There must be something else that is choking the system.

Surely, we should be able to trust the insight of our elected representatives.

Some are quick to point a finger towards Washington D.C.  Lawmakers claim we need new comprehensive energy legislation that would open more public lands for oil and gas drilling and make it easier for new refineries to be built.  Oil companies while idly sitting on thousands of leases, call for more “tax incentives” to the tune of yearly amounts of billions of dollars to alleviate the problems in our country.

Run that one up the flagpole again, and again, and again.  No one is gonna salute it.  

Ah yes, and don’t forget to include those whacky environmentalists preventing oil companies from building new refineries. I wouldn’t be surprised if the U.S. still has the same number today as we had 25 years ago.  Perhaps the oil companies just neglected to notice that American Drivers (and drivers around the world) increased during this period of time?  

EPA adds to the mix, but that can be solved, get rid of the the EPA.  I personally see them doing nothing but restricting instead of encouraging business in this country.  Pardon my French but it aint all them tree huggers causing the problem, that dawg won’t hunt either.

Over the last quarter-century, the number of refineries in the United States dropped to 149, less than half the number in 1981.  Oh, well all those refinieries closing is probably from pressure by liberal lawmakers.  Uh huh, sure.  We used to have ten of them here in Oklahoma now we are down to two, possibly three.  Why were they shut down, to support artificial price controls would be the first guess.  

Then there are those who would blame it on the EPA.  

 From 1975 to 2000, the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) received only one permit request for a new refinery. Those bad guys at EPA approved Arizona Clean Fuels’ application for an air permit for a proposed refinery in Arizona. Arizona in turn “speeded up the permit application process to accomodate the builders and speed up the process.”  In addition, oil companies are regularly applying for – and receiving – permits to modify and expand their existing refineries every week in this country.  I have heard that the Arizona deal fell thru the cracks and was shut down.  So we are back to square one.

Why would oil companies want to close refineries?

  • 1981 – 329 refineries operating at 68.6% capacity
  • 2006 – 149 refineries operating at 89.7%

And those figures are clearly years out of date by now.  Oh well, at least that makes good business sense. A refinery operating at 90% capacity should be much more profitable than running at 70%. So I guess we know where all the profits from high gasoline prices are going; to the stockholders of the nation’s biggest refinery companies.

Over and over, case after case, and no one seems to notice.  Refiners in response to falling gasoline demand and rising costs, have cut their production rates.

Then we come to speculators and the price gougers who walk and live amongst us.  “They are mostly described as sitting in a boardroom and colluding, but they can see easily enough where their benefit lies, and it doesn’t lie in a price war.”  In a truly competitive market, you might see some of these providers try to improve their market share by reducing prices. But this is not happening.

They are all better off by restricting production to keep prices up.  

We let them accumulate market power through the wave of mergers, and we’ve been paying the price in the last five years. Here is the bottom line.  “If there is a small number of players in the market, they learn from each other’s behavior.”

So as you can clearly see, there are no easy answers and simple solutions on the horizon.

We are catering to our nation’s oil cartel by blaming the problem on lack of supply and refining capacity, or our governent clearly knows something everybody else doesn’t and it is just keeping the secret to themselves.

In either case … You lose.  Have a good weekend, might forgo the trip to Grandma’s, that is up around $75 one-way in my case, and it just aint gonna happen.

OOO

Cartoon courtesy of American Progress Online

Truck Month – Stumped In Oklahoma

0331 Now I am confused, Toyota has a commercial out that says “this is Toyota Truck Month” which is okay, I suppose.  But just the other day, I see one that explains that “February is Ford Truck Month.”  So we either have two auto manufacturers that are clearly outta whack, or it could be that the Japanese are just copying our products again.

Here is something else to add to the mix.  

Each time that Chevy truck commercial comes on where they hook the truck to a tree stump with this massive chain and rip the stump out of the ground.  Well, I just sort of smile to myself.  This is because I remember Earl and Wally, who in their profound wisdom did the very same thing, with a somewhat different twist.

Earl, in an effort to appease his wife, agreed to pull some shrubs on the front of the house.  He called Wally and he came over.  They positioned their trusty 4-wheel drive pickup on the front lawn and hooked cable around some huge bushes in front of the house.  During this preparatory cabling, they consumed several beers in the process. 

After insuring that the bushes were properly wired up, and being as they were more or less, oiled or gassed up to some extent, they decided that a “whole lot of digging around the root system of the bushes” wasn’t all that critical or necessary. Jumping into their trusty steed idling on the lawn, Earl reached down and deftly put the truck in 4-wheel drive (just like on the commercials by gawd) and engaged the throttle for all it was worth.

Vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvroooooom!  Ka-pow, ka-chink, ka-thunk.

The bushes stood their ground, as if they were completely oblivious of what was going on.  Earl’s truck however did not fare so well, they ripped out the transfer case on the 4-wheel drive to the tune of some $6,500.00 Now as you sit there and digest that, make a mental picture of it all, I will try to illustrate to you in words, the time they were both driving in Wally’s car, just below the dam at Lake Hefner.  Coming home from the Red Dog Saloon in Wally’s Chevy two-door sedan. 

Late at night, when all of a sudden out of nowhere, this big buck ran across the road in front of them, and they hit it. Stumbling around in the dark, they locate the animal, in their somewhat inebriated condition decide that it is dead.  This is when Wally gets the great idea that “we can take it home, hang it up in the garage, butcher it and we will have venison” for everybody.

As they drag the animal back to the car there is a lively discussion that ensues on Barbecue etiquette and who not to invite.  Plans are made, agenda’s set, it is on … This Saturday Night!

They open the door of the car and after a little time, they finally get the animal into the vehicle and into the backseat.  They then get in, and start on down the road to Wally’s house to butcher and field dress the animal.  They open their last beer, and as with all good buddies, they split it and one more dead soldier is laid to rest.  

 This is where the master plan starts to unravel, you see, the buck is not dead.  

It was merely unconscious from the blow it received from the automobile.  It awakens and comes to life, in the backseat of the Chevy 2-door and it is definitely not a happy camper. At this time, Earl and Wally, figuring discretion is the better part of valor, exit the car and for the next ten to fifteen minutes, watch as the deer (and his rack of antlers) manages to destroy the interior of Wally’s car.  It rips up the seats, the headliner, just about anything it comes in contact with, until finally it extracts itself from the automobile.  One trashed car, no barbecue and no deer jerky.

Well, there is the bottom of the page rolling up, I see it is time for me to close.  

Next time I will share with you how this dynamic duo, this terrible two-some, decided to go coyote hunting and sat under a tree with this digital tape of a rabbit in a snare (the bait call).  Both of them sitting there, in the dark, playing this tape over and over, sippin on their brew.  Everything was going just swell … Until this huge owl swooped in to their location out of the dark, homing in on the sound, and put his talons into Wally’s head and they had to take him to the Emergency Room for stitches.

Not really sure if any of this happened during Truck Month, will have to check on that, and get back to you.

OOO

February 19, 2013

MR. LANGUAGE PERSON

Filed under: Blogging,Life — ldsrr91 @ 12:10 AM
Tags: , , , , ,


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Whooooie, all those folks on the cruise ship and all that poo-poo hitting the whirly dirley, man-man.  The wife and I booked a cruise the other day, it is scheduled tentatively for this summer on the South Canadian River in McClain County.

It should be okay until we run into the sandbars, then I don’t know what we will do.

A friend of mine and I, have been swapping emails and discussing proper grammar.  Which got me to thinking … often a dangerous thing, let me tell you.  From time to time, I get bad at two things, run on sentences and repeating myself.  Really do not have a clue as to why I am doing this, but I have noticed here of late, I am repeating some of my words in my posts.  This can be fixed.  I will do my best to correct this in the future.  Here is something interesting I came across the other day, the entire post had something like 500 words and a great deal of it read just like this:

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“In the sour tangy scent of gasoline and spilled oil and the glare of the lonely lights, I felt for a moment as though I was standing in the cold wind at a truck stop somewhere at some nameless exit off some nameless highway, anywhere along any of the routes I’ve driven in past three years, from little towns in the middle of the midwest en route to or from Wyoming, or somewhere in the dark of the night in the mountains of Pennsylvania or Virginia, filling the tank of a passenger van or wrestling the truckers’ pumps into the diesel dually, a horse trailer swaying softly in the darkness as the animals within shift their weight, resting their joints from the jostle of motion. I’ve driven nowhere near as many miles as my former-truck-driver father, who I am sure spent countless night standing in the cold to fuel his truck, his breath rising and vanishing in a white cloud about his bowed head, hands shoved in pockets, mind moving from point A to point B, thoughts on the goal destination, the miles traveled, miles left to go, condensing breath mingling with snowflakes in dull gas station lights.”

Incredible.

This might be why people are so stingy with the Like Button or pull up short on commenting.  Now if you are a regular reader of this electronic-digital-rag, then you know I am not known as Mr. Language Person, but this?  Man, something has to be wrong with this.  The first sentence has 125 words before you find a period (.), and the entire paragraph close to 200 words.

Who has time to read stuff like that?

I suppose that is what a WordPress.com reader is all about, it gives you the ability to see the good, along with the bad, and in the course of things, it also shows you what to do and what NOT to do.  Anyway, speaking for myself, I know I can do better on this site and I am going to make an effort to do just that.

All of this reminds me of the old story where a guy decided to check out of the Rat Race and become a Monk.  So he traveled to Tibet, found a monastery and joined the order.  One of the requirements of the monastery he was told he was to limit all conversation to just two words per year.

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The first year he was there, he told the head Monk, “bed hard.”  The second year he was there he again told the head Monk, “Food Bad.”  At the end of the third year, he looked at the Monk and said, “I Quit!”

The head Monk looked at him, shook his head and then replied … “Well, it is no small wonder, all you have done since you got here is complain.”

See you at the Water-Cooler.

OOO

February 18, 2013

Wow … Wow … Oh Wow!

Filed under: Blogging,Bus Life — ldsrr91 @ 12:05 AM
Tags: , , , , , , ,

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There is an old saying “familiarity breeds contempt” this might apply to some bus owners.  We spend an inordinate amount of time in our buses, under our buses, by our buses.  We eat in them, sleep in them, travel and work on them, sometimes under the most difficult of circumstances.  

There are also creative and very imaginative people in our midst that go the extra mile.

Someone who quickly comes to mind is a friend of mine, Mark Renner, he has a bus he is restoring and although it is some 66 years old, is guaranteed to be a show stopper in a month or so at a bus rally in Blytheville, Arkansas.  You can read about this upcoming event here.  In a way it is pretty amazing, when you stop to consider that this bus sat in the Arizona desert for over 30 years before Mark discovered it.

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Believe it or not, there are some marvelous old buses out there, and the people who maintain them, restore them are creative individuals down to a man, and sometimes, to a lady.  Rolling works of art and reminders of a time now long gone, built, maintained, and driven by bus nuts. One by one they are located, brought home and restored, and then they begin a totally new life with a completely different class of riders.  (We take ‘em everywhere, they basically ride for free, but we allow them to pay us, with hugs and kisses.)

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Other than a boat load of illicit street drugs in the sixties, I cannot think of anything in my life that I have spent more hard earned coin on, other than my bus.  The bus has been a steady money-pit for a number of years and consistently ate up my discretionary income at an alarming pace.  It has a times maxed out my limits on several credit cards and caused me to not sleep at night on several occasions.   

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I’ve been at too many times, the first in line at the diesel shop and the last one to leave at the end of the day.  Spent far too many days in my shop and very few at the movies.  Lately it has occurred to me that we also have a tendency to take our buses for granted.  As we spend a lot of time with these objects of our affection, we tend to look at them much differently than the general public.  I know that I refer to mine as “an old bus” that I own, and not much more than that (it is after all thirty years old this April).  It is my old hoopie, which like an ancient rock subjected to erosion in the wind, has been shaped and molded into something of my own making, truly unique, not another one in the world, exactly like mine.  Which my grandson would say is “kinda cool.” 

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Buses or motor-coaches as some are called, are massive by design, everything about them tends to lean towards the large side of the scale.  They are tall, some of them are wide, all of them are equipped with huge tires, that would dwarf the average automobile owner.  So when you stop to think about it, “a first time glance or inspection of a coach” would have a tendency to overwhelm some folks. The other day, my bride brought a couple of her friends into our shop and asked me to “give them the ten cent tour” of our coach.  Most of the time I will not go out of my way to provide tours of this nature, but you have to remember, “this is the lady who prepares my chow” and I desperately need to make sure she is happy.

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This is the point in the story where the sweat equity, all the checks, the updates, the crawling on your belly like a reptile, all of it, comes into play.  As I took this couple around the coach, and pointed out the old and the new, the who, what, where and why of it all, I heard ….. “Wow … Wow … Oh wow!” (over and over) … and I just kind of smiled to myself and took it all in.

Good reviews are always welcome and they are nice to hear.  

OOO

 

February 17, 2013

Won’t You Be Mine

Filed under: Uncategorized — ldsrr91 @ 7:58 AM

Won’t You Be Mine

OOO

February 15, 2013

So This Is Life?

This morning I don’t know how it came about, but I found myself reading the wordpress.com “adulthood” section.  This came by way of Fresh Pressed, that mythical area of posted non-sense that continues to baffle me.  This morning for instance, I found a webpage that was barely sixty days old, had five posts all total, and in this period of time, just a paltry 47 views.  Nothing earth shattering there for sure. 

 WordPress.com Fresh Pressed is so lame.  

So anyway, I click on this one title that intrigued me, whetted my appetite and it took me to “adulthood.”  I was surprised to find it was populated mainly by kids, and by this I mean young people.  I was expecting to find older folks there, but only one post, was written by someone I would consider older.  There were a few posts sprinkled here and there, written by the just turned twenty-five crowd, and a handful of grateful newlywed’s and new mothers, but most of them were under 30.  

 Which in my world is considered young.  

In the United States we have this social phenomenon entitled labeling, we find it necessary to group each generation that comes down the pike into some form we can readily recognize.  So we dutifully, like ducks in a row, label each and every one.

People born before 1946 are called - The Greatest Generation.  People born between 1946 and 1964 are called - The Baby Boomers People born between 1965 and 1979 are called - Generation X.  And people born between 1980 and 2010 are called - Generation Y.

 Why do we call the last group -Generation Y?  

It could be the attitude of the youngsters that are associated with this generation …  Y should I get a job?  Y should I leave home and find my own place?  Y should I get a car when I can borrow yours?  Y should I clean my room?  Y should I wash and iron my own clothes?  Y should I buy any food?  Y should I do anything when I can get it all for FREE?  But perhaps a cartoonist explained it most eloquently below …

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The thing I found about this that was so intriguing was the outlook, the hope, all the optimism the youngsters had for life.  The attitude that they displayed, as if they had magically, figured it all out (life itself).  At one time in my life, I suppose that I too “had it all figured out” and it was more or less cut and dried for me too.  But life doesn’t work that way.  Doesn’t work that way at all.  

 You see, man hopes, dreams and schemes, and then God smiles.

 That is the way it works.  If you want a nice slice of life, read “The Worry Tree” (linked here and below) it kind of sums it up for me.

Have a Great Weekend … We will see all of you on Monday.

OOO

The long and short of it this week at Creative Endeavors (what folks are reading):

Home page / Archives  
TIME IS RUNNING OUT  
Bikinis (The reason men are pigs)  
Eagle Bus Project Files  
You Don’t Smell Like Flowers (audio)  
It’s Not Easy Being A Hero  
Take Your Pick  
Clear Blue Sky  
The Worry Tree  

February 14, 2013

Slow And Steady

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“All you need to know about everything that matters, and delivered to you before the weekend.  

What a deal … What a deal.” 

LISTEN UP BIG THREE:  A high school student in Grant City, Mo. has come up with a dirt-cheap means of transportation.  He took an old car (1994 Geo Metro) and yanked its engine and put in an electric fork-lift motor that he bought on E-bay for $200.  

The car ran a max of 62 mph and travel more than 30 miles between charges.  It is estimated that it costs roughly .25 cents to re-charge its 12 batteries, which translates to about 200 miles for the price of one gallon of gas.  Now if an 18 year old kid can figure it out, it makes you wonder why the Big Three cannot.  

On the downside (there is always a downside, remember that) contrary to popular opinion, electricity is not free, someone, somewhere, is going to burn something to create it.  Just in case any of you are seriously contemplating building your own electric car.

WE ARE BORN NAKED, WET AND HUNGRY.  THEN THINGS JUST SORT OF GET WORSE:  Here we go again, it seems like a lot of this off the wall loopy crap comes out of Colorado.  I know that John Denver used to sing about “Rocky Mountain High” and all that, but I am beginning to wonder.  

A 6 year old boy was suspended from school for reciting the rap lyric, “I am sexy and I know it.”  He recited this to a female classmate and those in charge, deemed this harmless behavior as sexual harassment and sent him home.  

And everyone wonders why our youth are clearly dysfunctional or appear to be on the surface outright idiots?

POSSIBLYRELATED:  Consider this.  About 93% of all immigrants applying for citizenship correctly answer 6 out ot 10 questions on American History.  Whereas, on the other hand, the same 6-10 questions answered by natural born citizens, only 65% could squeak out the correct answers.

YUP, I GOT HIS FINGER-PRINT RIGHT HERE:   A woman in Japan who had her bag stolen, took it upon herself to chase down her assailant, take the bag back, and in the process …. “Bite off his finger!”  No word whether the police at the crime scene took his finger for fingerprint identification or not.

BAD MOVE FOR SURE:  A University of Iowa student was charged with trying to get into a bar using a stolen driver’s license.  The license just happened to belong to the bouncer at the front door of the club.

CAT OF NINE LIVES:  A cat got stuck inside a washing machine and somehow survived a full wash cycle.  A woman who searched in vain all over her home looking for the cat, happened to spot its wet and soggy looking face appearing thru the washer door in her washroom.  It had survived more than an hour of soaking, tumbling, and drying.  Word has it that she took it to the vet. and he informed her that it had used up seven of its ten lives, but was apparently okay.

And now … A comment from a future member of the Democratic/Republican party.

The Truth Shall Set You Free

OOO

February 13, 2013

TIME IS RUNNING OUT

Open Carry:  If you are going to carry an illegal loaded semiautomatic firearm in New York City, it is probably best to not press your luck by trying to beat a $2 subway fare.  Amazing what people will do and then how much time they have to think about it later on …

How about seven years?   

Droning On:  I noted at the bank today the cover of time magazine had a Military Drone on the front cover.  This past weekend CBS had quite a bit of airtime, devoted to the same subject, it appears that they are hot now.  They are being used not just by the military but police departments, national guard units, you name it.  So far this tool for terrorists has only taken out some 59 known bad guys, but has killed something like 34,000 poor citizens who were listed as “collateral damage.”

Mans’ best doing man’s worst … Fly one over my property and I can assure you “it will not come home.”  If it does it will be full of buckshot from my 12 gauge.

Fifty years of James Bond …  It is kind of slow around here, we are currently being snowed upon which is okay, because we could use the moisture.  So I find this cinema love fest on television, “Fifty Years of James Bond” and I am of course, amazed and amused at the same time.  

Fifty years just doesn’t seem possible and then there is the always engaging Double O Seven loading freshly shot pheasants into the back of a truck on a French Chalet and the tag on the tailgate is there plain to see …. California.

Finally something for us old geezers:  Silicone Valley has introduced the first edition of the new baby boomer computer and keyboard.  Supplies are limited at this time.

ATT00001

Change the Batteries – Set it to Vibrate – or just remove it:  A prisoner in a Shri Lanka prison was found to have stuffed a cellphone up his wah-zoo (chocolate speedway) and two “hands free” packs with it (good idea).  Everything was going just fine until someone he had just called … returned his call … which did not amuse his handlers in the least.

New Religious Experience in Texas:  Do you owe money on a car?  Finance company banging on the door, here is a tip.  Crush it.  At the same time, save yourself the drudgery of doing lawn mowing this summer, throw in a couple of lawnmowers for good measure.  The Church of Later Day Saints is alive and well, crushing lawnmowers and cars south of the Red River.

Time is running out:  Well, well, well … Here it is the 13th of the month, and of course, a lot of you guys have done nothing to improve your marital status or the relationship you share with “your significant other” and you are for the most part, dead in the water.

Having procrastinated for literally weeks, you find yourself adrift in an ocean full of sharks, and you suddenly discover YOU are the chum.  Oh-my-gosh, down to just one more day, a scant 24 hour period with which to redeem yourself.  Someone needs to throw you a life vest.

As I am a generous sort, I will give you a hint.  

Take her to someplace she has never been, to a place where she can relax, enjoy a good meal, get some rest.  

Flowers are nice, chocolate will work with some girls, and there is always the occasional choochie-coupon to be redeemed.  But if you want to make her happy, take her somewhere for the holiday, wine and dine her.

It works.  On Valentines Day, I asked mine one year, “Can I kiss you in a place you have never been kissed?” and she looked up at me with those big brown eyes, eyes so wide that a man could get lost in and then she said … Omaha Nebraska?

Now I have to go, Dr. Phil is coming on …. “His Girlfriend has Robbed him Blind.” …. Rebecca says her sister has betrayed her by sleeping with the important men in her life;  Steve says his girlfriend keeps stealing his money.

New.

I am just a sucker for love I suppose.

OOO

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