Creative Endeavors, The Home of BoxcarOkie.com

December 12, 2014

All Tanked Up

Filed under: Blogging,Oklahoma — ldsrr91 @ 12:01 AM
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Looking down and checking the gauges and everything looks normal, volts are up, temps are down and the fuel gauge just a notch off of full.  Reaching over to the dash, I grab a fresh stick of bubble gum out of the pink carton which is lying on top of the Flyin Hooker fuel card next to my wallet.

Suddenly a wave of sadness rolls over me like a hot summer breeze.  All summer long I have been spoon feeding the fuel card, a hundred here, fifty there, give up a couple of twenties and now there it lies.

Like a three day old dead fish.  Spent.  Empty.  D.O.A. at the next pump it finds.  The needle wiggles a little just under “full” and we head west.

Fortunately the weather is nice, not a lot of wind, lite traffic.  Caffeine Free Diet Coke in the drink tray and a fresh stick of gum, I am good for a hundred miles at least.  Nothing like a full tank, groceries in the box, and the road she calls to me like a lover in the dark.

Today is much better than yesterday, yesterday was a little shop of horrors and not a whole lot of interstate fun.  First the left lane was shut down in fifteen hundred feet for what appeared to be “no reason at all.”  Then some idiot freight hauler who very much intent on getting into the lane I was occupying pushes his way into my world.

So I let him in, this monkey fresh outta the truck driving academy.  Where they taught him how to double clutch (not, most freight haulers are running air shift/automatic’s these days) showed him how to jack-knife and bump the dock (again … most likely will leave it in some company lot) and cheerfully assigned him a super secret CB Code name (which also doesn’t make sense because he is gonna be on a cellphone most of the time).

He comes over without so much as a thank you.  Don’t you just hate it when everyone wants to play “Who has the best insurance.”

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Now the road funnels down to what I call “kind of skinny,” a hard concrete barrier on the right. Backing down on the throttle, I ease over to the left and start taking my fair share out of the middle.   Which is not making me a lot of friends in the trucking community behind me at the time.

Some would consider this maneuver a little bit rude at best, but there is a valid reason.

The last time this happened, I tried to be a “good buddy” and share it all with them, and they in turn tried to bully me into the concrete barrier which we all know is not a good deal.  So now, I take my share out of the middle, I meet the legal limits for construction areas and if they do not like it, then I guess they can call someone about it.

But no, they would rather imply on the C.B. that my parents were never married (which I usually turn off early in the game anyway) and threaten me with mortal harm.  Meanwhile we just motor along and I think to myself … Are we having fun yet?

Eventually the road opens up, I signal a right turn and head into the Pokie Okie lane and three hard chargers come roaring by, and indicate to me that Old Eagle Buses are #1 this day in the Land of Enchantment.  I just smile and crank up the CD Player.

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Six O’clock PM … I need to hunt some parking, wife wants to watch Dancin’ With The Stars  and I am gonna cop me some rest.  I am so glad that VISA raised my limits and my therapist changed my anxiety meds, this is gonna be the best Christmas yet.

Have a good weekend, watch them right handers.

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December 10, 2014

Jus Sayin 1211

Filed under: Blogging,Life,Uncategorized — ldsrr91 @ 10:29 PM

Fortunately for me, the crew of the Ice Cutter saw me standing all alone on the Ice floe and came to my rescue.  No longer able to feel my feet or toes, my fingers turning a dark black color …

No that aint right. 

Wednesday morning I was sitting at Starbucks, drinking a not so hot latte and the sky lit up, a huge meteor the size of …

No that aint right.

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Last Friday at four-fifty-seven PM … At the most unfortunate time in my life, the bus coughed twice and came to rest on the railroad tracks, in the distance I could hear a train whistle …

No … that is DEFINITELY not right.

Now I am going to devote the rest of this day to some kind of time-waster or cheap thrill.  Such as giving my bologna a middle name, or some other important issue.

I am not, under any circumstances going to mow, sack, cut, trim, sweep, take to the curb or re-arrange anything other than the head pillows on my easy boy recliner.

It’s a tough job … but someone has to do it.

Jus Sayin

Jus Sayin 1210

Filed under: Blogging,Life,women — ldsrr91 @ 8:10 AM
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imgresNot long ago, a cute little honey from my neighborhood friended me on Facebook and push came to shove, a couple of enticing selfies reflecting off the bathroom mirror, a few lies sprinkled here and there and y’know, we just naturally set up a meet. 

She sent me a message that said “Come on over.  There is no one home.” 

So I jumped in my pickup and raced over there.

Sure enuff, there wasn’t anyone there.

FaceBook is so cruel.

Jus Sayin

Martian Chronicles II

Filed under: Oklahoma,random,Recent — ldsrr91 @ 12:06 AM
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Last Friday NASA successfully launched a rocket into space some 36,000 miles and then deployed an unmanned capsule back to earth and retrieved it.  Quite a accomplishment indeed.  We are not known for the “stability of our rockets” and have been using Soviet equipment for several years. Last Friday was the first time this has been (successfully) accomplished in some four decades. 

Now once again the hot topic is Mars, we as a nation have set our sights on the Red Planet.

For as long as I can remember, we have been shooting these rockets off, using acre’s and acre’s of radio transmission antenna’s in New Mexico, beaming contact information to the deep reaches of space. 

We have even sent satellites to distant planets playing the Rollin Stones and enclosed all kinds of information in a effort to reach other universe societies and their inhabitants.

This could be a very dangerous thing for mankind (as we know it). 

First, any signal that we send out, could in fact attract an alien civilization that is far superior to our own.  It could invite colonization of our planet and worse, extinction and utter destruction of our species.

Bad news for people who are geared to the bible too.  It would wreak havoc with that.  In layman’s terms, it would upset man’s central core belief in creation, whether these aliens are creature like (similar to man) or primitive life forms.   Just finding a fossil or a DNA strand from these people/creatures would be mind boggling to say the least.

For a number of years, I worked graveyard shifts on the Railroad.

On some nights we saw things in the night sky, that were unexplainable (UFO’s call ‘em what you want) which were quite mysterious in nature.  It is my genuine concern that if one of them does decide to “stop by and visit.”

I am really hoping they are friendly.

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December 9, 2014

Buyin A Bus

Filed under: Bus Life,random,Recent — ldsrr91 @ 8:17 AM

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Torture time, another indictment of the public education system a lame attempt to increase my total word count for December.  Ahhhhhh Christmas, Good Will Towards Men, Peace On Earth … The Happy Time for most Americans.  Sadly I have go report … The boys and girls over at BCM are fighting again.  One thing about the Internet, swing a dead cat in any direction and you will find some nimrod who is unhappy.  Hot button topics are being slung left and right.

Free Speech, The Constitution, moderator conspiracy theories on an Internet board, actually referring to people as “Nazi’s” man-man, that is a hoot.  Buy an Iggle I know a place where you will fit right in.  My Grandpa was right, “an empty barrel does make the most noise.”

PONY UP SOME COIN WE HAVE A COACH/TRUCK FOR YOU    

Buses and trucks in today’s market are like flea’s on a dog, but somehow, nothing is working, page after page of nothing is working?  It is real simple, find one, do the deal, give the rest of us a break.

Here is a free clue on how to do it.

Banker:  Well, I see by your paperwork that you have started to think about your purchasing a bus in the near future. I’ve reviewed your credit score, gone over your account balances, and I have spoken with some of our loan officers. Frankly, I seem to be running into a bit of a problem and I was wondering if you could perhaps help me out?

You: What exactly is the problem?

Banker: Mechanically speaking it appears that you are qualified to do nothing and of course irretrievably stupid, you could very well be possibly out of your mind.

You: That seems kind of harsh.  I put together a swing set from Sears once.  Its just a fifty-year old bus for cryin’ out loud.  I mean, “how hard could any of this be?”

Banker: I’m sorry. I suppose your entire life, your parents have told you that you’re smart and capable?  Your friends admire you for your ability to take on monumental impossible tasks and still somehow survive.  It says here that at the age of ten, you wrapped a towel around your neck and jumped off the roof of your fathers’ house emulating Superman?

You: Of course they have.  Yeah I did that, wanted you to know that I am not afraid to try new things or adventure in my life.  For instance, buying a bus is a new thing and certainly it could qualify as an adventure, don’t you think so?

Banker: Well they’re full of it. I have never encountered anyone so ill-equipped to enter the bus community in all my years of being a banker and a recently released part-time RV Salesman.  Have you been staying in an area that might have lead in the drinking water.  Even Superman would not be this d-u-m-b.

You: You’re exaggerating, I can’t be that hopeless.

Banker: Am I? When I asked you why it was that you wanted a bus, you never came up with a correct answer one time, you answered correctly only 25% of the time.  A few of them, you just sat there with that deer in the headlight look and shrugged your shoulders.

You: One out three isn’t that bad.

Banker:  Exactly my point. You also seem to have exaggerated the “appearance factor” over the maint. issues two to one, in your description of the used coach you hope to purchase.

You: No I didn’t.

Banker: Let’s see what it was that you wrote? Here it is: “Really nice looking stainless and the wheels are really, really shiny, and my wife would be a looker in that smoking hot Big Bad Mama with painted swirls on the side.”

You: I don’t remember writing that.

Banker: You have terrible memory skills.

You: That’s not fair.

Banker:  And a delusional perception of worthiness.

You:  But …

Banker: You also have trouble completing a thought. Moving on to maint. issues, you could not find a brake caliper if you had a map.

You: That can’t be that uncommon.

Banker: It was a map of the entire underbelly of the bus.

You: I thought it was something else.  A schematic for the plumbing system or possibly a link to the back bedroom carousel clothing thingy that I can hang my ball-caps on.

Banker: You seem to have absolutely no grasp of economics or what it really costs to operate one of these things.

You: I know a little about it.  They are cheaper to operate than say, a houseboat on the Columbia River system, yeah, that is right.

Banker:  You listed the three different mileage factors for the bus.  One for on the road, one while parked, and one while running the inverter.

You: Those numbers are good numbers, the seller gave them to me.

Banker:  You took a course on motorcycle repair in school?

You: Yes I did.  How did you know that, did I write that in there, let me see ….

Banker: Yes you did and you think this will help you understand the intricacies and nuances of a 45 ft — 65,000 lb. bus?  You listed that in your application, can you tell me how this will relate to this dream of bus ownership you seem to be reluctant to let go of?

You:  Can you end a sentence like that?

Banker: No. 

You:  Really?

Banker: NO YOU MORON, but this is not an English lesson, this is buying a bus 101 … This next one is especially perplexing: under make and model you wrote in Bigfoot. I find that disturbing for at least several different reasons. 

You:  Well I had to write something and I could not spell “Iggle.”

Banker:  We will go over the paper work again, and our loan committee will let you know.  You should be getting a call from him soon …   

Gonna be a long winter Clifford, long winter indeed.

(Uh oh yeah, I didn’t get the loan.)

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December 8, 2014

Jus Sayin 1209

Filed under: Blogging,Oklahoma — ldsrr91 @ 9:18 PM
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copDo you remember the “Good Old Days”
It hasn’t always been this way.
If you are not satisfied with the police response in your town next time you get in a bind, call a Crackhead

Found myself considering purchasing a new toad,
which is slang for a tow-car in the RV community

So I Googled the word … “Hummer” …

Man, you would not believe what came up!

Did you know if you trim the feathers on a Goose on one wing only the bird will fly in circles all day long
I can fondly recall my mother saying
“Donnie stop running in circles or I will nail your other foot to the floor!”
Kind of brings a tear to your eye, don’t it?

I am now off to watch some documentary I DVR’ed about sex workers in India
Not that I am a pervert or anything, but I really like to run it to the end
and then watch it backwards.

I just love it when they give the John all his money back.

Jus Sayin

Jus Sayin 1208

Filed under: Blogging,Life,Oklahoma — ldsrr91 @ 12:05 AM
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Adult10

He appeared normal.
He spoke and behaved just like anyone else.
The fact that he had no heart was very well concealed.
Well, that’s not entirely true.
He did have one.

It was just not in his possession at the moment.

And this is where the story gets complicated.
I hope you’re holding someone’s hand.

As you age in life and come to the realization that you are no longer Young At Heart
you start to understand that you only have a few summers left
and things naturally change
Your wife will only have sex with you for a purpose.

For instance … Last night she used me to time an egg.

She will stand you up for inspection before leaving the house
taking great care to make sure you are zipped up and ready to go
At times you will believe it’s really tough to stay married.

Especially when she kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from your glass!

Jus Sayin

December 7, 2014

I WANT TO ROAM

Filed under: Holidays,Life,Oklahoma — ldsrr91 @ 9:10 AM
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Third day of persistent fog, you would think we are in London or something.  Anywho, I am tired of it.

Lack of sunshine has a tendency to change my outlook on life.  Always has and I suppose it always will.  I could use a little sunshine, a little less Christmas Muzak, and a stiff belt of something.

Another thing is I am not getting outside much, getting so fat, this spring I will be able to sell shade at our annual garage sale.

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Came out here to check on the space heaters, do not want to have to buy a water pump like I had to do a couple of years ago.  I am looking at the old hoopie and it has my juices flowing, I want to get out on the road and fly!

To roam at will … I want to be westbound and down, six on the floor, the other foot out the door, in the smart aleck lane, styling down the boulevard.

Aint gonna happen.

Before gainful employment corrupted my life, I used to delight in long solo drives back to the Midwest to check up on the Rust Belt of America. Now I find that I am relegated to writing letters to the editor, to have them edited for content, brevity and perhaps, temporary insanity.

Reading E-mails from AT&T that state: “Your telephone bill is ready; please check online at” ……. as if I was anxiously expecting that and/or waiting in great anticipation for it.

Or …. “In order to register your new domain name, it will be necessary for YOU to provide US with this, and that, yadda-yadda, blah-blah.  Soon the kids will be here to collect their Christmas lucre and that one kid will say something like:  I love what you’ve done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that?”  The little prince of scratch n sniff, he is my favorite one of the bunch.

Guess I will slink back in there and watch a little TV. 

When I see ads on TV with smiling, happy housewives using a new cleaning product, the only thing I want to buy are the meds they must be on.  One last thing, “The key to every relationship is honesty. Honesty. Honesty. Honesty. Honesty. … Gonna keep typing this until she stops looking over my shoulder.”

C’mon Sunshine!

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Daddy’s Toddies …

Filed under: Life,Oklahoma — ldsrr91 @ 12:03 AM
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One of the things I really enjoy or look forward to this time of the year is Egg Nog.

Super Sweet and Ice Cold as it slowly slinks its way down my throat to my stomach, it often triggers an emotion of … well … it is just good stuff.  Being a diabetic I am not allowed this luxury of life, and it is not good for me, which means I have to sneak it in the house in a brown paper bag, and hide it in “MY” refrigerator.

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(By the way … Every man should have his own refrigerator, put that on your list for this year)

Unfortunately sometimes in life, we often unknowingly consume things or liquids that are not good for us. Here is an example:  It was a bad week to be a manager at Applebee’s in Michigan. The restaurant has apologized for serving a toddler tequila other than apple juice.

His mother said she knew something was amiss when her 15 month old son started saying “Hi and Bye to the walls” and that he eventually laid his head down on the table.

The poor kid was later found to have a blood alcohol level of 0.10 which would make him legally drunk in a lot of states if he were driving.

Applebee’s has promised a full investigation, this should come before the court case and the litigations.

I know this is a serious thing, don’t get me wrong.

Like I said, this time of the year it kind of reminds me of Egg Nog, and my dad, who was an alcoholic. When we were small children, he would make my sister and I “Hot Toddies” (Egg Nog, Jack Daniels, Cinnamon, warmed and served in a small decorative glass) at Christmas time.

We (my sister and I) didn’t know the drinks had booze in them, and they were sweet and tasted simply wonderful. So when this adult role model freely offered us this sweet, warm elixir from the dairy heartland, we lapped it up.

As small dinkers, we just assumed they were “part of the Christmas tradition” in our home. We didn’t know our dad was getting us swacked.

Mom would come home from work and exclaim, “Jeeze Loren, the kids sure seem to be in a good mood?” and he would shrug his shoulders and say something like … “Aw, it’s Christmas, you know how they get.”

Most of my family are now gone and the Holidays often do not represent a happy time for me personally. If your family unit is well and intact, treasure the time you have to spend with them.

As MasterCard is so fond of saying … “That is priceless.”

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December 6, 2014

Jus Sayin 1206

Filed under: Life,Oklahoma — ldsrr91 @ 12:02 AM
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911 what is your problem?
All my trees are humming and my kids are glowing in the dark.

In 1986 the reactor core at Chernobyl melted down and spread radioactive material over a large part of the Ukraine and Europe.

400 times more than what the USA dropped on Hiroshima at the end of World War II. Scientists are now saying it still will be 20,000 years before it will be safe to live there again.

If we stopped everything today,
no more fossil fuels
no more coal,
no more transportation.
gas, elec. or diesel.

If every country in the world shut it all down,
and we rode a bicycle to work each day
sat in the dark at night, and froze our collective butts’ off …

It would still take the earth over sixty years to recover her carbon footprint and start on a road to better health.

Since the first Atom tests shattered the dawn in New Mexico in the late forties, there have been 2,603 nuclear tests above ground in the open air.

And everyone wonders why were all suffering from Cancer.

Jus Sayin

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