February 26, 2013
February 17, 2013
February 4, 2013
Its only weird if it doesn’t work. Like most of America, I watched the Super Bowl yesterday. It seemed strange for a number of reasons, one being it was the fiftieth Super Bowl, and that somehow just does not seem possible? As I have been around for quite a few of them personally, and the numbers, well, they just sort of always add up not necessarily in my favor these days.
Another thing that was different is this. I hard drived the game (DVR’ed it) and did not actually watch the game as it unfolded and the drama increased, we watched the last three minutes of the contest and that was it. As I am not a great football fan anymore, I taped it in order to see the commercials, which I now consider to be the best part of all of it.
Funny how habits sort of get ingrained into a person. I am so used to “skipping the commercials” and watching the main body of the program. Now for this event, I had to reverse the procedure, and it took some getting used to. I finally managed to master it, but it was tough, that and seeing the Niner’s lose, I wasn’t all that keen on that either.
This is a pretty good video, it wasn’t on the Super Bowl, but you will find it amusing.
Shopping at the Costco Fish Market.
The Great American Free lunch: The Senate Budget Committee reports that in fiscal year 2011, between food stamps, housing support, child care, Medicaid, and other benefits, the average US household below the poverty line received $168 (my note, 7 days a week) in government support. What’s the problem with that much support?
Last time I even bothered to check, the median household income in America was just over $50,000 per year, which averages out to $137.13 per day. To put it another way, being on welfare now pays the equivalent of about $30 an hour for a 40-hour week, while the average job pays $25 an hour. And then there is the person who works who has to pay taxes, which drops the pay to $21 an hour.
It is no wonder that welfare is now the biggest part of the budget, more than Social Security or defense. And why would anyone want to get off welfare when working pays $9 an hour less.
Another great thing about welfare versus working … No drug screening for anyone, just sign up and wait on the money to come rolling in. For more of the report you can find it here.
Crayon’s before bullets: While I am up here on my soapbox. One of our American Hero’s was taken out this weekend by a gun, and there is more negative news about firearms in the media. It all seems so far fetched out of of sync for me. Our so-called cures for societal problems are directed at the symptoms rather than the causes. We can’t keep throwing money at a broken education system, or its victims. We can’t guarantee raising well-behaved, normal children in broken, drug-dependent or parentless families.
Taking guns from law-abiding citizens will only deepen the lawlessness of criminals. Taking God out of our schools and society, and legitimizing every type of deviant moral, physical and psychological behavior, dooms American society to a continued descent into more violence, self-centered behavior and immorality. Society won’t improve until America returns to her roots.
If we truly want to solve most of American society’s problems, return America to its founding principles. Otherwise, we commit societal suicide.
Munday-Munday: I got those wake up its early, wash behind your ears they’re dirty, eat your eggs and oatmeal, rush to work blues. I just do not do Monday’s all that well anymore … Most folks believe heart attacks occur on Monday, but the majority of them knock you down on Wednesday, not the first of the week as erroneously presumed. And they hit at 10 A.M. (or thereabouts) quick check your watch.
That is one of those mysteries of life, you know things that do not add up.
Why is it that every black guy in prison in the movies is named “Red?” That would be one. How come some guy born in Kansas City that happens to be black is now called an African American? He aint African anything. Why does the late Patrick Swayze look both ways before crossing the street in the movie Ghost? I mean hell, he is a ghost, an errant cab or a delivery truck cannot hurt him. Strange doin’s on a Monday.
One more and I am outta here … If evolution is true as they say, then why do Mother’s only have one set of hands?
Think about it ….
February 1, 2013
A bus nut can always relate to his old bus. If my body were a bus, about this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I’ve got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull … but I can still amuse and amaze.
But that’s not the worst of it.
If I truly were my old bus, you would discover that my headlights are out of focus and it’s especially hard to see things up close. My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and I sometimes skid and bump into things even in the best of weather. My huge tires are stained with varicose veins. It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently.
But here’s the worst of it –
Almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter, either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires.
“Wow … Wow … Oh wow!” … I may be old, but baby, I am the best you got.
January 23, 2013
Stumbled upon this the other day, draw your own conclusions.
First of all, I’d like to compliment you all on the quality and quantity of your middle fingers. I realize I am widely despised and considered by many of you to be a selfish, clueless, dangerous [expletive] of a road hazard. I understand where you are coming from. Even if you are a greedy, spoiled, impatient piece of [expletive]. I understand.
Let me address a couple of specific issues.
1. The fast lane, or as it is known in “the business,” the Number One Lane.
Why in bloody [expletive], some of you wonder, would a [expletive] bus be using the fast lane southbound between 280 and Los Gatos, when it can’t travel much over 70 mph (MAX) on a downhill grade, and moves like a snail on the uphill? Well, it’s like this: I am trying to avoid the [expletive] merges that occur throughout that stretch. The road is full of really bad drivers, as you know… and while a passenger car might stand a chance of swerving or accelerating or braking out of trouble, not me. I need to stay out of the way of that [expletive]. If a merging idiot cuts me off and I have to decelerate on an even a slight uphill grade, there will be peace in the Middle East before I can get back up to the speed limit. I know you are [expletive] off that I am keeping you from speeding your [expletive] off for a few minutes, but if I get stuck in the Idiot Merge and have to slow down, then you will see some really serious traffic blockage while I hold the throttle pedal to the floor and wait for the bus to resume any forward motion. I know you don’t give a [expletive] about that because you can drive better than James Bond and would easily bust through the jam with amazing technique, but next time you might be a minute or two behind me… then you will taste some serious inconvenience and delay because some [expletive] such as yourself didn’t let me just keep up enough momentum to get out of the way as soon as possible.
2. Speaking of merging:
Look here, the bus has basically two modes; floored and stopped. When floored, the actual speed depends entirely on grade and momentum. When I am coming down a ramp to merge onto the highway, I am [expletive] FLOORING IT, ok? I am trying to get as close to the flow of traffic as possible. Maybe you are in the right land and see me up ahead, preparing to merge and signaling left. You could do a couple of things. You could slow down and let me in, which I would appreciate but certainly not expect of you. Or, probably even better, you could put your [expletive] foot in it and blast cleanly around me and make good your escape. But either way, you gotta [expletive] or get off the pot. Please do not hover back there in my blind spot, spitting and cussing and wondering when I’m going to make my move. Guess what? You are already seeing my move. I am signaling left and standing on the throttle with my full weight. You’re the one in the vehicle that actually has a choice to go faster. I realize that sometimes I am getting in your way. Really, I’m sorry about that, but if you make me slow down because I can’t tell where you are … well, then we’re going to see how badly I can make traffic back up. The rule of thumb is this: Do what traffic expects you to do. That means do not come to a screeching halt on the freeway because you think I’ll cut in front of you, or because you are such a sweetheart that you are willing to [expletive] 5 miles of commuters behind you so that I can creep into traffic. Just drive. Do what traffic expects. If you can just carry on at your same speed and zip right past me than please do so. On the the other hand, if you see me a half mile up ahead, signaling left and waiting waiting waiting to get over, and no one will budge, and I am getting dangerously close to the point of no return… please do not floor it when I finally get a little gap and you are several hundred yards back. We want the same thing, you and me. You want to get the [expletive] away from me and I also want you to do that.
Oh, and northbound, after the curvy part of 17, just after the Cats restaurant, where the first Los Gatos onramp comes in… I always grab the left lane anywhere I can get it after Lexington Reservoir and the Cats. The traffic merging onto the freeway at Los Gatos is deadly. Deadly and slow. Plus, there is another merge nightmare shortly thereafter as people try and remember whether they want 85 or not… or start reading their map to see what 85 even is. I don’t want 85. I want to stay away from everyone who is wrapped up in the spiritual dilemma over whether to take it or not. That means one thing and one thing only: Left Lane. Please keep in mind… I am not trying to block your way. I just need to maintain my speed long enough to get around all that [expletive]. As usual, if I get caught in it, I’ll become a much bigger pain in the [expletive] while I try and get back up to speed over the next 20 minutes.
3. Lane changes/passing other vehicles
Same deal. Believe it or not, there are vehicles on the road even slower than the Hwy17 bus. Usually they are big rigs, construction trailers, out-of-town first-times (on this road) doing the White Knuckler… and sometimes they are just terrified little idiots who refuse to believe that the posted speed limit is to be trusted. If I get caught behind this stuff on the uphill… forget it. I’ll be slowing up the traffic for a long time If you see me on the downhill, signaling left, please let me get around them. I can do it going downhill, and I PROMISE to get the [expletive] back in the slow lane immediately.
I hope this clears up some confusion. It is a treacherous road, and can be unbearably frustrating when you are in a hurry. Please keep in mind that my bus is not the only thing out there jamming up traffic. In fact, I’ll jam it up less if given just a little room. At least I am aware of the situation and aware of the need to try and stay out of the way when I can’t go fast, and to keep things flowing when I can.
Oh, and to the woman in the dirty Subaru Outback with the Montessori bumper sticker… you really need to quit biting your nail on that middle finger. Your Bird-Flippng technique is flawless, but that fingernail is disgusting. Next time I see it (probably tomorrow) I want to see it neatly trimmed.
- Location: HWY 17
- it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
1440 words that basically say nothing. People who use language like this on the Internet or anywhere else, are moron’s … Plain and simple. Those who find “humor in it” are sadly, just as bad. A quick check around found it on several bus boards and great many bus guys found this amusing and/or interesting. Some even stopped just short of calling it a literary masterpiece.
This poorly written diatribe laced with excessive profanity, serves only one purpose (that I can see) and that is to remind me of ALL THE THINGS that should NOT be done when trying to convey a point or an idea. It also serves as a reminder of why it was that I stopped writing and reading bus boards altogether.
When you stop to consider that the face of America is rapidly changing, and soon 68% of our population will be of other races and orgins of other countries. A great many of these folks are learning how to drive for the first time in their lives, the caliber of drivers on the highways of this country has changed in the past five years, and will continue to change in the near future.
Bottom line … Get used to it.
Related: I’ll Drink To That
January 20, 2013
January 19, 2013
So vent and expound I shall. Thirty times.
1) I can’t stand it when people ask: “Can I ask you a question?” Really?
2) You know those paper roadmaps? I hate it when they’re not folded back up correctly.
3) I understand the need to abbreviate when texting. Truly, I do. But when your excessive abbreviating srts mkng ewe snd lk a toetl ideut…..then you should just make a phone call.
January 13, 2013
The airport is a totalitarian space; sometimes the truth is hyperbolic.
You re-enter the United States, land of your birth, as part of the stream of arriving passengers. It is an everyday experience. You leave the airplane slowly, on stiff limbs, trickling with the mass of travellers into Newark airport.
The imperatives are issued as soon as you enter the terminal building.
January 5, 2013
It’s the weekend, you are at home, no one but you and the cat. Crank it up, let it roar. Here is two minutes and forty-four seconds of hot talent.
December 30, 2012
The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.
Here’s an excerpt:
4,329 films were submitted to the 2012 Cannes Film Festival. This blog had 57,000 views in 2012. If each view were a film, this blog would power 13 Film Festivals