February 25, 2012
February 1, 2012
Taking a day away from it today, every now and then, I have found, it is best to “check out, blow the cobwebs out of your head” and generally speaking … Take a break.
Life is after all … Full of choices. See you guys tomorrow or soon.
January 2, 2012
A convicted ax murderer has gotten permission to leave jail for a few hours a week so he can chop down trees. Did you get that? This convicted felon is serving a 30-year sentence for the 1976 triple ax-murder of a nurse, a patient, and a policeman. But he is being allowed to leave prison on occasion to take a course in wilderness preservation, which includes instruction in tree-chopping.
Some prison officials are not happy about it. They do not believe it to be a good idea to let a murderer like this near sharp implements such as axes. Another quote was “this could be a disaster waiting to happen.”
Gee, do you think so?
Texas, It’s like a whole other country, Y’all. About 80% percent of the new jobs created in Gov. Rick Perry’s Texas since 2007 went to newly arrived immigrants, half of whom were in the country illegally, according to a report by the Center for Immigration Studies.
In that same period, employment for native-born Texans actually declined over that period. History it seems has a bad habit of repeating itself, that is one of the bad things about history. Now ask yourself this question: “Do we really want this guy for our next President?”
You buys yo ticket … You takes your chances.
A mechanic from Pawleys Island, South Carolina, was down to $6 in his checking account and was only days away from foreclosure when his luck turned. He won a $200,000 lottery jackpot. He says he will use the money to pay off his mortgage and save for his daughter’s college tuitions.
I on the other hand, only had one number in this last game. But I think I have it figured out, when they roll the numbers, they are rolling them too fast. It doesn’t give a guy enough time to wish on them. I know, I know, the odds are terrible. But you wouldn’t get kissed if you didn’t pucker up every now and then.
Speaking of odds? Inez Harries and Venice Shaw, identical twins born Jan 15,1911 celebrated their 100th birthday this year. The odds of identical twins living to be 100 is one in 700 million. That right there is about seven times more than winning the lottery. Powerball tickets are going up in price on the 15th of January, buy yours now and beat the rush. Cutting down the odds too … 1 in 175 million … the old odds were 1 in 195 million.
So you see, anything is possible, you just have to hang in there and believe.
Michael Jordan said, “I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career, I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I have been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” Thomas Edison did 10,000 experiments before he came up with a working example of the electric light bulb. That meant he “failed over 9,000 times” before he succeeded.
Lady Gaga, one of the most ridiculous acts to ever grace a stage in America is projected by Forbes Magazine to make a little over $100 million this year. Check your closet, you may have all the wardrobe necessary to make the move over to stardom right there in your own home.
You just have to KNOW that you are going to do it, believe in yourself.
Keep the faith baby.
December 29, 2011
Having just lost about a page of what I considered “good stuff” I will now start over. Man, I hate it when something like that happens. It was my best intentions to start out this day on the subject of loneliness and being alone, I thought I had some good things on the page, and then whoosh, it all went south on me. Now I find myself trying to dredge it all up and get it back on the page, but I know it is fruitless … My first shot is usually my best shot.
Awhile back I wrote something along similar lines entitled MT Mailbox and I have linked that for you. I find it somewhat disturbing that loneliness and being alone, can sneak up on me like a thief in the night and rob me of my joy in life. Winter time often does this very thing to me too.
No immediate relief, other than good sippin’ whiskey, I often cannot find a quick easy cure for it. Possibly it is lack of sunshine and the constant drab of the winter sky or some other factor that I am unaware of. As I am somewhat of a Were-wolf looney at times, the Holidays have a tendency to drag me down, I am not all that big on celebrating. I often get lonesome this time of the year, even when surrounded by family and people. I don’t know why.
I do know this. Loneliness can wrap you up, as it engulfs your soul, and tears at the fabric of life. And that it can strike you down no matter how tall you are or where you happen to be standing.
Loneliness knows no geographical boundaries.
I have been lonesome in a country some 18,000 miles away. I have felt totally alone standing in the midst of one of the biggest cities in the world, New York City. I have been devastated and alone the day she walked into the room and handed me the papers that said our dream was over and she walked out the door for the last time.
Sometimes when afflicted with this condition of melancholy that comes in and out of my life. I think of this poor lonely whale that swam up the Hudson River in New York State. The whale that the New York Times dubbed …. The Loneliest Whale in the World.
Back in 2004, The New York Times wrote an article about the loneliest whale in the world. Scientists have been tracking her since 1992 and they discovered the problem. She isn’t like any other baleen whale. Unlike all other whales, she doesn’t have friends. She doesn’t have a family. She doesn’t belong to any tribe, pack or gang. She doesn’t have a lover. She never had one.
Her songs come in groups of two to six calls, lasting for five to six seconds each. But her voice is unlike any other baleen whale. It is unique—while the rest of her kind communicate between 12hz and 25hz, she sings at 52hz.
You see, that’s precisely the problem.
No other whales can hear her. Every one of her desperate calls to communicate remains unanswered. Each cry ignored. And, with every lonely song, she becomes sadder and more frustrated, her notes going deeper in despair as the years go by.
Just imagine that massive mammal, floating alone and singing—too big to connect with any of the beings it passes, feeling paradoxically small in the vast stretches of empty, open ocean. It has been said that “art often imitates life“ and I remember a Star Trek Movie with this same theme, coming back to earth in order to save a couple of lost whales.
We spend an inordinate amount of our time, reflecting on how important we are in the grand scheme of things, when in reality, we are for the most part, quite insignificant and small. And if allowed, I suppose we could find ourselves alone and adrift in a vast sea of humanity. In other words, we take for granted this thing called life, and we are full up with ourselves. But the bottom line is we are just another cog in the wheel of the universe and not all that remarkable.
If you can watch this video by the late Carl Sagan and not come away from it feeling humbled my hat is off to you. It illustrates in a profound way how fragile life as we know it truly is.
Today as I swim thru life, I am going to chart a course that is straight and true, and at the same time, keep a well tuned ear out for another in distress. If I can somehow help out and bring some hope and sunshine to them in their time of need, then I suppose I have done my job. If possible I want to be a friend to someone, anyone, that needs someone to fill a void in their life. Simply because no one in their right mind wants to go thru life swimming all alone.
Thanks for stopping by ……
December 28, 2011
Got into what you might call a “spirited conversation” with one of my neighbors. He seems to think I am racist because I want people to speak English and I don’t think they should be given a driver’s lic. if they cannot speak English or at the very least, be able to read the language.
Because of this disagreement, he tags me a racist, which I don’t think is fair.
Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream ‘racism’ these days. So, the customer asked, “In what aisle could I find the Polish sausage?” The clerk looks at him and says, “Are you Polish?” The guy (clearly offended) says, “Well, yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I had asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian?
Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or if I had asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican?’ If I asked for some Irish whiskey, would you ask if I was Irish?”
The clerk says, “Well, no, I probably wouldn’t!”
With deep self-righteous indignation, the guy says, “Well then, why did you ask me if I’m Polish because I asked for Polish sausage?”
The clerk replied, “It’s because you’re in Home Depot.”
Guess it is all in the way you look at things? I wear quite a few hats, I have been tagged more than once for my views, but racist, I am not. Oh well, no use diggin’ up a dead-horse to see if it smells bad, let us move on.
I note this morning that everyone seems to be working on New Year’s Resolutions, and writing all about it, the self-appointed Guru’s of the Internet, once again, have it all figured it out. Some of us who have been around for awhile, can almost see it coming.
There is the Christmas thing. And then The New Year’s Thing. The Resolution thing and it goes on and on, almost to the point of being unstoppable. Might ought to assign it a season of the year, we could call it the “Wordpress.com Silly Season.”
Yeah, that might work.
As for right now, or at least the next four or five days, it is pretty well defined and expected when you come online. It is all about time. How much you have left is anyone’s guess, how much of it that is used up is another question, what remains is to be seen … Use it or lose it is what my Daddy used to say.
2012 is rapidly approaching and is on the horizon as 2011 much like a tired old soldier, slowly fades away.
As for myself, I only make one resolution per year, it is the same old thing year after year.
What is it you ask?
It is this: “Every year at the beginning of each New Year I make one resolution … to NOT make any resolutions.”
Sure takes off a lot of the pressure … and I am again “at peace with the world.”
Come on by tomorrow and we will talk about being melancholy and sad at Christmas and the loneliest whale in the world.
December 27, 2011
Christmas officially being retired, it is now time for the annual rush BACK TO THE STORES to fill up on even more crap. As a matter of fact …. I just got back from the Mall. The wife did a lot of shopping and I sat in the truck out in the parking lot (evidently security does not allow people to walk around the Mall in their pajamas’?).
Over the holidays I came across this little thing here, and it just about sums it all up.
The American Dream in Full Swing.
What was really scary was as I watched it, I saw a lot of myself in this.
Check it out.
December 22, 2011
For years I have suspected that there is no honor in television advertising. Take these commercials where they simulate a door bell or a door chime, “coincidentally that sound exactly like the one in the hallway of my home.” I will be at peace with the world, locked down and cutting some real zee’s.
Then the peace of my nap is shattered in a heartbeat by this doorbell sound.
Dutifully, I get up, wander to the front door, open it and stare into nothing. No one. Not a thing there, no package, no UPS truck, Fed Ex or meat salesman offering golden mouth-watering-porkchops at discount pricing. I stand there, feeling like a real dumb-ass and search the area to no avail.
It is just not fair.
Not knowing about you, I can assure you this. In my home you will find a dishwasher, several refrigerators, micro-wave oven and laundry appliances. Central heat and air, televisions and electronics, and ALL OF THEM have been at one time or another …. have been replaced.
Over time they all wear down, parts break and they fall by the way and a new one is installed. Even have a word for it … built in obsolescence. Most everything breaks. All but the ##@!@##* doorbell, that is the very same one that has ALWAYS been in our home since the very beginning.
Why? Pretty simple … You don’t use something, it will last forever.
In keeping with our Christmas traditions here at Creative Endeavors, I tried to mix up some Christmas Musak for you but it just didn’t work out. Maybe next year? As a rule, software systems do not work well until they have been used, and have failed repeatedly, in real applications. Commercials and computers, the pockmark on the face of mankind.
December 13, 2011
Life is good. (Always like to start on a positive note, you never know where one of these might go later on? Take last night for instance, I dreamed I was Fresh Pressed but later on it turned out that I had my underwear on backwards!) Maybe it is me, but I just dig the Coke Santa Klaus the most, might be because I am old school or something. But that image is my favorite of the big old round robust fantasy or make-believe-legend of the season.
How do you tell if you are old school? You truly appreciate something like this.
I could watch stuff like that all day long. You know that is when they made “music:” not this crap we have today. 47 years later and they are singing and IT SOUNDS EXACTLY THE SAME now that my friends, is music.
Big display of cold remedies over at ChinaMart this morning, thankfully, no one has been sick here at our place. Last year was a pretty good year too, so your mother was right boys & girls …. “GET IN THERE AND WASH YOUR HANDS!” … It pays off. So no NyQuil this year, and no sniffles, around here we call Nyquil a “Baptist Six Pack” …
And yes … It is still Christmas Week!
For all of you that are coming to the party a little bit late, here is an update.
Christmas Week here at Creative Endeavors, each day a different rendition of your favorite Christmas song …. And as is our practice and when practical, we will include “absolutely free” the lyric’s of each song. Today an added bonus of “romantic sleigh ride” video at the end of lyrics. Christmas Week At Creative Endeavors … From now until Christmas Day 2011.
Tell all your friends and most importantly …. Enjoy.
(Parody of Seigh Ride) Just hear those noses snifflin’
Sore throats ticklin’ too
Come on it’s lousy weather
To be sufferin’ inside with the flu Outside the snow is fallin’
Your fever’s at 102
Let’s take some Alka-Seltzer
And a box of antihistamines too We’ll bring some Kleenex with us
And sing a chorus or two
Let’s let my red nose lead us
In a sleigh ride in spite of the flu
Hack it up hack it up fling it up let’s go
Phlegm chunks in the snow
We’re coughing up a yellow and green rainbow
Cough it up cough it up cough it up oh man
There’s some on my hand
My glands are puffed and swollen
And every hour I pee
My throat’s as rough as leather
And raspy as it can be
Let’s take some Kleenex with us
And sing a carol or two
We’ll make our noses redder
On the sleigh ride
To go with the flu
My kid came home from preschool with a cough today
He’ll infect the whole darn neighborhood in about a day
Well be calling in sick to work until the diarrhea stops
At the pharmacy we’ll get lots more pills to pop
Pop pop pop
I took every medication I can legally buy
For coughing sneezing sniffling and the watery eyes
I’ll be gettin’ real drunk on NyQuil
I’ll take Contac ‘till I’m high
This wonderful buzz is great
But I’m glad I don’t have to drive
Just hear those noses snifflin’
Sore throats ticklin’ too
Come on it’s lousy weather
To be sufferin’ inside with the flu
Outside the snow is fallin’
Your fever’s at 102
Come on it’s lousy weather
For a flu ride together with you
As I have been good … and not naughty … but nice, I am ready for my elf to bring me my gift … Bring it on!
Man I just love this Christmas Stuff!
Thanks to KZOK 102.5 FM and to Art, our correspondent in Reno, Nevada.
December 12, 2011
There is something wrong with the lite string on the fence, she knows it, I can sense it. She stands on the front porch, cup of coffee in her hand and she stares at the lite string that is drooping at the front gate. She wants to say something to me about it. But she knows that it was cold, bitter cold when I worked on that section of the fence, and I froze parts of my body that will never see daylight again.
It is as if it is literally hanging in the cold winter air … She see’s it, the light string that is out of line with the rest of the fence, it bothers her, she knows that it is NOT right, but she is afraid (for good reason I might add) to say something about it.
Because she knows …
That I can be a sweet man or an awfully mean baby.
In her heart and mind, she knows that it should be corrected.
But she is fearful of the beast,
the Man-Child in every husband that ever lived.
She is a smart woman,
she knows better than to wake her second sleeping baby,
just to see it smile.
She has been here before.
It is best to not say anything about the string that is saggin’ and is out of line with the rest.
She knows … Some things in life, are best not said.
I suppose somewhere, deep inside all of us, there is a frustrated decorator just waiting to be unleashed. Most likely I will fix it (eventually) … What else do I have to this time of the year.
December 9, 2011
We are kicking off Christmas Week here at Creative Endeavors, each day a different rendition of your favorite Christmas song …. And as is our practice and when practical, we will included “absolutely free” the lyric’s of each song.
Christmas Week At Creative Endeavors … From now until Christmas Day 2011. Tell all your friends and most importantly …. Enjoy.
What a delightful gift idea
Magical shorts that disappear
Buy your loved one this noel
The kind of gift you can’t resell
Because it kind of smells
If someone else has tried it on
You could be dancing cheek to cheek
Wiggle the string play hide and seek
Buy your workmate or your boss
The proctologic dental floss
That really works a hair across
His astronomic bum
The wife sent me to ChinaMart. Which is not a nice thing to do to the person you love, send them off to a SuperCenter that is packed with all these people trying to find “the” perfect gift for the Holiday Season …. Or as I affectionately refer to it …… Buying copious loads of crap made in China.
Our lives are full of things.
Disposable distractions stuff you buy but you never cherish, own yet never love. Thrown away in weeks rather than passed down to the next generation. Perhaps this year things will be a little different, not a whole lot of disposable income floating around this year, unless you are on the government bail-out train, so choices may be made with greater care. After all, if the fewer things you own always excite you, would you really miss the many that never could?
The absolute worst gift you can give someone is a fruit cake. Fruitcakes are evil, when the world finally ends and there is nothing left but charred ashes and bugs, microscopic animals, there will still be at least five perfectly preserved fruit cakes somewhere on the planet. You see, “there is only ONE FRUITCAKE in the entire world (The Mother of All Fruit Cakes) and people keep sending that same cake to one and another.
As my mentor Dave Barry is prone to say … “The easiest way to make a fruitcake is to buy a darkish looking cake, then pound some old, hard fruit into it with a mallet. Be sure to wear Safety Glasses.” You can take the rum out of a fruitcake, but you still will have a fruitcake in the end.
Personally, I would rather have a good glass of Glogg.
A hot spiced wine and liquor punch served in Scandinavian countries by long legged slender blond headed women wearing a thong and softly humming Christmas Musak …
I am really getting into this Christmas stuff this year.
I really am.
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