Creative Endeavors, The Home of BoxcarOkie.com

December 17, 2014

Good News …

Filed under: Blogging,humor,Life,Oklahoma — ldsrr91 @ 12:36 PM
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Just got off the phone with the doctor, and he gave me some good news for a change.  He said my recent round of poking and prodding produced nothing of a significant nature and that I am okay.

Which after what I have been thru here lately is definitely a boost for me.

With six visits to the ER in the last two years and the operating room twice, it has taken a toll on the fuel fund, let me tell you.  Now I can sit back and take it in, one day at a time, without so much as a hint of anxiety.

So there is good news and there is bad.

First the good, the prognosis is great for a change, which is a most welcome relief. Now the bad, it appears that I am going to be around a little while longer.

So here is the game plan boys & girls … I plan on increasing my sarcasm by a measure of at least 18% and today I am going to town to celebrate with a BLT.

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December 16, 2014

You Have Mail …

Filed under: Blogging,humor,Life,Oklahoma — ldsrr91 @ 8:29 PM
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Recently when Sony Corp. was hacked and embarrassing emails were leaked, it occurred to me that this could be the best thing to happen to this generation of conversation-challenged people. If sending a colorful, conversational or nasty email becomes a danger, then perhaps they will all have to start talking again. Me? I am not apologizing for nuthin, why should I start now.

Believe it or not, in Korea they are referred to as “The Tribe That Looks Down” because of their obsession with electronic devices.

Yesterday was National Chocolate Day, a day set aside for you to cover with Chocolate anything your heart desires. Please ladies, if you did take a picture of Harvey in his chocolate covered banana sling from Fredericks Of Hollywood, don’t post any pictures of it on FaceBook.

Turbulent time in the City of Angels … The family calls the police, they state that their brother is out of control and acting crazy. The police show up, the brother then attacks them with a hammer, the police shoot the brother and he dies. Now the family is all up in arms because they wanted the police to help their brother not shoot him.

So let me see, if you are cop and someone comes at you with a hammer, you are supposed to just stand there and take it?

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One more, a little bit closer to home and I am outta here.  Norman Oklahoma, “Police this morning discovered a body, wrapped in chains, hanging in a tree.” Foul play is suspected … Gee, do you think so?

Discover Channel interviewing a convict who killed his entire family and set the house on fire … “Why did you do it?” asked the interviewer.  Convict replies, “Well, they was all home.”

Thank God for prisons.

Let me know if you did not get the email.

December 12, 2014

All Tanked Up

Filed under: Blogging,Oklahoma — ldsrr91 @ 12:01 AM
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Looking down and checking the gauges and everything looks normal, volts are up, temps are down and the fuel gauge just a notch off of full.  Reaching over to the dash, I grab a fresh stick of bubble gum out of the pink carton which is lying on top of the Flyin Hooker fuel card next to my wallet.

Suddenly a wave of sadness rolls over me like a hot summer breeze.  All summer long I have been spoon feeding the fuel card, a hundred here, fifty there, give up a couple of twenties and now there it lies.

Like a three day old dead fish.  Spent.  Empty.  D.O.A. at the next pump it finds.  The needle wiggles a little just under “full” and we head west.

Fortunately the weather is nice, not a lot of wind, lite traffic.  Caffeine Free Diet Coke in the drink tray and a fresh stick of gum, I am good for a hundred miles at least.  Nothing like a full tank, groceries in the box, and the road she calls to me like a lover in the dark.

Today is much better than yesterday, yesterday was a little shop of horrors and not a whole lot of interstate fun.  First the left lane was shut down in fifteen hundred feet for what appeared to be “no reason at all.”  Then some idiot freight hauler who very much intent on getting into the lane I was occupying pushes his way into my world.

So I let him in, this monkey fresh outta the truck driving academy.  Where they taught him how to double clutch (not, most freight haulers are running air shift/automatic’s these days) showed him how to jack-knife and bump the dock (again … most likely will leave it in some company lot) and cheerfully assigned him a super secret CB Code name (which also doesn’t make sense because he is gonna be on a cellphone most of the time).

He comes over without so much as a thank you.  Don’t you just hate it when everyone wants to play “Who has the best insurance.”

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Now the road funnels down to what I call “kind of skinny,” a hard concrete barrier on the right. Backing down on the throttle, I ease over to the left and start taking my fair share out of the middle.   Which is not making me a lot of friends in the trucking community behind me at the time.

Some would consider this maneuver a little bit rude at best, but there is a valid reason.

The last time this happened, I tried to be a “good buddy” and share it all with them, and they in turn tried to bully me into the concrete barrier which we all know is not a good deal.  So now, I take my share out of the middle, I meet the legal limits for construction areas and if they do not like it, then I guess they can call someone about it.

But no, they would rather imply on the C.B. that my parents were never married (which I usually turn off early in the game anyway) and threaten me with mortal harm.  Meanwhile we just motor along and I think to myself … Are we having fun yet?

Eventually the road opens up, I signal a right turn and head into the Pokie Okie lane and three hard chargers come roaring by, and indicate to me that Old Eagle Buses are #1 this day in the Land of Enchantment.  I just smile and crank up the CD Player.

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Six O’clock PM … I need to hunt some parking, wife wants to watch Dancin’ With The Stars  and I am gonna cop me some rest.  I am so glad that VISA raised my limits and my therapist changed my anxiety meds, this is gonna be the best Christmas yet.

Have a good weekend, watch them right handers.

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December 10, 2014

Martian Chronicles II

Filed under: Oklahoma,random,Recent — ldsrr91 @ 12:06 AM
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Last Friday NASA successfully launched a rocket into space some 36,000 miles and then deployed an unmanned capsule back to earth and retrieved it.  Quite a accomplishment indeed.  We are not known for the “stability of our rockets” and have been using Soviet equipment for several years. Last Friday was the first time this has been (successfully) accomplished in some four decades. 

Now once again the hot topic is Mars, we as a nation have set our sights on the Red Planet.

For as long as I can remember, we have been shooting these rockets off, using acre’s and acre’s of radio transmission antenna’s in New Mexico, beaming contact information to the deep reaches of space. 

We have even sent satellites to distant planets playing the Rollin Stones and enclosed all kinds of information in a effort to reach other universe societies and their inhabitants.

This could be a very dangerous thing for mankind (as we know it). 

First, any signal that we send out, could in fact attract an alien civilization that is far superior to our own.  It could invite colonization of our planet and worse, extinction and utter destruction of our species.

Bad news for people who are geared to the bible too.  It would wreak havoc with that.  In layman’s terms, it would upset man’s central core belief in creation, whether these aliens are creature like (similar to man) or primitive life forms.   Just finding a fossil or a DNA strand from these people/creatures would be mind boggling to say the least.

For a number of years, I worked graveyard shifts on the Railroad.

On some nights we saw things in the night sky, that were unexplainable (UFO’s call ‘em what you want) which were quite mysterious in nature.  It is my genuine concern that if one of them does decide to “stop by and visit.”

I am really hoping they are friendly.

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December 8, 2014

Jus Sayin 1209

Filed under: Blogging,Oklahoma — ldsrr91 @ 9:18 PM
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copDo you remember the “Good Old Days”
It hasn’t always been this way.
If you are not satisfied with the police response in your town next time you get in a bind, call a Crackhead

Found myself considering purchasing a new toad,
which is slang for a tow-car in the RV community

So I Googled the word … “Hummer” …

Man, you would not believe what came up!

Did you know if you trim the feathers on a Goose on one wing only the bird will fly in circles all day long
I can fondly recall my mother saying
“Donnie stop running in circles or I will nail your other foot to the floor!”
Kind of brings a tear to your eye, don’t it?

I am now off to watch some documentary I DVR’ed about sex workers in India
Not that I am a pervert or anything, but I really like to run it to the end
and then watch it backwards.

I just love it when they give the John all his money back.

Jus Sayin

Jus Sayin 1208

Filed under: Blogging,Life,Oklahoma — ldsrr91 @ 12:05 AM
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He appeared normal.
He spoke and behaved just like anyone else.
The fact that he had no heart was very well concealed.
Well, that’s not entirely true.
He did have one.

It was just not in his possession at the moment.

And this is where the story gets complicated.
I hope you’re holding someone’s hand.

As you age in life and come to the realization that you are no longer Young At Heart
you start to understand that you only have a few summers left
and things naturally change
Your wife will only have sex with you for a purpose.

For instance … Last night she used me to time an egg.

She will stand you up for inspection before leaving the house
taking great care to make sure you are zipped up and ready to go
At times you will believe it’s really tough to stay married.

Especially when she kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from your glass!

Jus Sayin

December 7, 2014

I WANT TO ROAM

Filed under: Holidays,Life,Oklahoma — ldsrr91 @ 9:10 AM
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Third day of persistent fog, you would think we are in London or something.  Anywho, I am tired of it.

Lack of sunshine has a tendency to change my outlook on life.  Always has and I suppose it always will.  I could use a little sunshine, a little less Christmas Muzak, and a stiff belt of something.

Another thing is I am not getting outside much, getting so fat, this spring I will be able to sell shade at our annual garage sale.

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Came out here to check on the space heaters, do not want to have to buy a water pump like I had to do a couple of years ago.  I am looking at the old hoopie and it has my juices flowing, I want to get out on the road and fly!

To roam at will … I want to be westbound and down, six on the floor, the other foot out the door, in the smart aleck lane, styling down the boulevard.

Aint gonna happen.

Before gainful employment corrupted my life, I used to delight in long solo drives back to the Midwest to check up on the Rust Belt of America. Now I find that I am relegated to writing letters to the editor, to have them edited for content, brevity and perhaps, temporary insanity.

Reading E-mails from AT&T that state: “Your telephone bill is ready; please check online at” ……. as if I was anxiously expecting that and/or waiting in great anticipation for it.

Or …. “In order to register your new domain name, it will be necessary for YOU to provide US with this, and that, yadda-yadda, blah-blah.  Soon the kids will be here to collect their Christmas lucre and that one kid will say something like:  I love what you’ve done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that?”  The little prince of scratch n sniff, he is my favorite one of the bunch.

Guess I will slink back in there and watch a little TV. 

When I see ads on TV with smiling, happy housewives using a new cleaning product, the only thing I want to buy are the meds they must be on.  One last thing, “The key to every relationship is honesty. Honesty. Honesty. Honesty. Honesty. … Gonna keep typing this until she stops looking over my shoulder.”

C’mon Sunshine!

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Daddy’s Toddies …

Filed under: Life,Oklahoma — ldsrr91 @ 12:03 AM
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One of the things I really enjoy or look forward to this time of the year is Egg Nog.

Super Sweet and Ice Cold as it slowly slinks its way down my throat to my stomach, it often triggers an emotion of … well … it is just good stuff.  Being a diabetic I am not allowed this luxury of life, and it is not good for me, which means I have to sneak it in the house in a brown paper bag, and hide it in “MY” refrigerator.

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(By the way … Every man should have his own refrigerator, put that on your list for this year)

Unfortunately sometimes in life, we often unknowingly consume things or liquids that are not good for us. Here is an example:  It was a bad week to be a manager at Applebee’s in Michigan. The restaurant has apologized for serving a toddler tequila other than apple juice.

His mother said she knew something was amiss when her 15 month old son started saying “Hi and Bye to the walls” and that he eventually laid his head down on the table.

The poor kid was later found to have a blood alcohol level of 0.10 which would make him legally drunk in a lot of states if he were driving.

Applebee’s has promised a full investigation, this should come before the court case and the litigations.

I know this is a serious thing, don’t get me wrong.

Like I said, this time of the year it kind of reminds me of Egg Nog, and my dad, who was an alcoholic. When we were small children, he would make my sister and I “Hot Toddies” (Egg Nog, Jack Daniels, Cinnamon, warmed and served in a small decorative glass) at Christmas time.

We (my sister and I) didn’t know the drinks had booze in them, and they were sweet and tasted simply wonderful. So when this adult role model freely offered us this sweet, warm elixir from the dairy heartland, we lapped it up.

As small dinkers, we just assumed they were “part of the Christmas tradition” in our home. We didn’t know our dad was getting us swacked.

Mom would come home from work and exclaim, “Jeeze Loren, the kids sure seem to be in a good mood?” and he would shrug his shoulders and say something like … “Aw, it’s Christmas, you know how they get.”

Most of my family are now gone and the Holidays often do not represent a happy time for me personally. If your family unit is well and intact, treasure the time you have to spend with them.

As MasterCard is so fond of saying … “That is priceless.”

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December 6, 2014

Jus Sayin 1206

Filed under: Life,Oklahoma — ldsrr91 @ 12:02 AM
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911 what is your problem?
All my trees are humming and my kids are glowing in the dark.

In 1986 the reactor core at Chernobyl melted down and spread radioactive material over a large part of the Ukraine and Europe.

400 times more than what the USA dropped on Hiroshima at the end of World War II. Scientists are now saying it still will be 20,000 years before it will be safe to live there again.

If we stopped everything today,
no more fossil fuels
no more coal,
no more transportation.
gas, elec. or diesel.

If every country in the world shut it all down,
and we rode a bicycle to work each day
sat in the dark at night, and froze our collective butts’ off …

It would still take the earth over sixty years to recover her carbon footprint and start on a road to better health.

Since the first Atom tests shattered the dawn in New Mexico in the late forties, there have been 2,603 nuclear tests above ground in the open air.

And everyone wonders why were all suffering from Cancer.

Jus Sayin

December 5, 2014

Jus Sayin 1205

Filed under: Life,Oklahoma — ldsrr91 @ 12:02 AM
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Hope is a good thing

Maybe the best of things

And through all bad times

Hope never dies

My heart is a muscle that has no wrinkles

which has been broken and mended many times

It is hurting me some this day

But I am sure I will get by

Put a song in your heart!

A smile – is a sign of joy.

A hug – is a sign of love.

A laugh – is a sign of happiness.

And a friend like me?

Well that’s just a sign of good taste.

Gather Ye Rosebuds while ye may
Old time is still a flying
And this same flower that smiles today
Tomorrow will be dyin.

 

Jus Sayin’

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