Creative Endeavors, The Home of BoxcarOkie.com

May 11, 2012

Bus Board Rambling

Filed under: Blogging,Bus Life,humor,Life,Oklahoma,Recent — ldsrr91 @ 6:40 AM
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There are mornings I come in here, and I just draw a blank, that ever happen to you?  I also have this self-imposed short post order in place (more substance – fewer words) and that is not easy to deal with.  Here is my personal dilemma in a nutshell …. I knew last night I must have something ready by this morning.

Well, here it is, morning, and I’m scrambling to compose something worthy of my daily, two-second blast of self-indulgence. As I ramble into the third sentence I remain clueless as to what my theme might be.  As I am on some days, also too dumb to know any better, I continue on, even tho I seem to be lost as a goose.

Of course, my lack of theme might be exactly what I’m looking for.  Maybe I will just blow this off and go read the bus boards?  They are always good for a lift on a somewhat lack-luster Oklahoma day.

I need some advice … How do you open a tool box?
I saw an HHR just like mine, going down I-40, anyone know who it is?
I have no winders in my coach, any suggestions on how to keep it warm this winter?
When will I ever get my copy of bus owners reality check?
Is motor oil supposed to be black and what color smoke do you have?
Do you think zoloft really works?
What you got?

How come I have to punch in three electronic do-dads to turn on the step lites?
That is a beautiful ScienicCruiser, you do know that if I did it I could have done it better?
Why do I need to change tires after only 16 years when I still have tread left?
Can a propane Onan be converted to diesel?

Do you know anyone with a Honey Wagon that can suck my holding tanks?
How come I always break down when I have the ignition key in the “on” position.
My air bags leak terrible, but I cannot get my wife to be quiet.

Often I consider answering some of them back: (Usually I just remain silent, hard to do, but I do it)

My coach is in a kneeling position … should I be worried?  Depends, what is your current religious affiliation?

I need some advice … How do you open a tool box?  If it is a Snap On just un snap it
I saw an HHR just like mine, going down I-40, anyone know who it is?  No, do you?
I have no winders in my coach, any suggestions on how to keep it warm this winter?
If you close your winders there won’t be such a breeze and you will stay warmer
When will I ever get my copy of bus owners reality check?  The reality check is in the mail
Is motor oil supposed to be black and what color smoke do you have?
It depends what neighborhood you are in and don’t exhale
Do you think zoloft really works?
It depends on how many zolo’s there are in a ft.

If I’m using WVO for fuel, can I also use it for salads and to grease the fry pan?  Try a Micro-Wave
Where is Detroit Motor Oil made.  7,800 ft straight down most of the time.
I saw this coach on Craigslist, he wants $15,000 for it and says it has a brand new motor, transmission, tires, and a full set of 8D AGM batteries.  Oh, and the 20KWH generator is brand new.  Do you think he would take $5,000?
I would buy this bus if the price of diesel went down to .89 per gallon.

Bus tip for the day:  “Eagles come in all shapes and sizes, but you will recognize them chiefly by their attitudes.”

Be careful out there today Boys & Girls, if you are in a bus, watch those right-handers.  If you are chowing down at the Flyin J … Don’t forget to tip your waitress.  Me?  I got those wake up its early, eat your eggs and oatmeal, wash behind yo’ ears they is dirty, end of the week blues …. I am going to head on back to the bedroom, lay down and take a nap.

OOO

What folks have been reading at Creative Endeavors this past week:

Home page / Archives
Bikinis (The reason men are pigs)
The Worry Tree
Spell Checked and Approved.
Clear Blue Sky
Goin With The Flow
Mr. Gorsky
Lawn Mowing Sucks
Drop The Soap (audio)
 Close Encounters
 Another Ordinary Day

May 10, 2012

Spell Checked and Approved.

Filed under: Blogging,Life,Oklahoma,Recent,Uncategorized,writing — ldsrr91 @ 12:03 AM

We are rapidly finishing our first week with the new “leaner and much improved” Creative Endeavors.  A dedicated effort has been made to shorten the posts, and try to make them more interesting and not so verbose (keep them under or around 500 words).

It aint been easy … But it seems to be working.

Or it was until this morning, when I got a two page Email telling me basically … “that I suck.”  And I am fairly sure, this person is not hitting the like button any time soon.  Ceste Le Vive … Or for our Spanish Readers …. LaVita Loca.

Such is life.

As we approach 1.2 million visitors on this site, I am prone to think back to a long time ago, or rather, to a point in time that seems like a long time ago, when we first started.  Not knowing a whole lot of about any of this, we just kind of rolled up our sleeves and dove into it headfirst.  It was not easy by any means (something I am sure most of you can readily relate to) and at times, it was a real head scratcher.

One of my first comments came from a “English Professor” from some prestigious body of education back east.  He read my offering for the day, then promptly entered into the comments section “Now, that was depressing.”  Not very encouraging and it did tend to irritate the fizz out of me, but we kept on chopping and watched where the chips landed.  (Ironically, we are still here, he is however, long gone.)

He did show me something tho.

He illustrated to me the power of the comment, how it can be either for good or for bad, how it can make a day or drag one down.  It showed me that you should always make your comments “positive in nature” and that you should make a concentrated effort to encourage and not tear down.

This week, for instance, I read a post that had 4,773 words in it and the author was lamenting the fact that only 4 people had “liked the piece.”  I am somewhat surprised that they even managed to get thru it, yet alone liked it.  Yesterday I read where someone was saying “that the Oklahoma courts aloud someone to do this” which we all know should be “allowed” but over and over, there it was, “aloud.”  In either case I did not respond or try to correct … It is not my job to do this, it is not YOUR job to do this.

You want more readers?  You want more comments?  Then develop a kinder gentler attitude online and help a person up.  Encourage instead of discourage, you will be better for it, and in the end, the one on the other end of the line, will be too.*

OOO

*In case you are wondering, this came in at 515 words or thereabouts.  If you are not completely satisfied, please let us know, and we will cheerfully refund your purchase price and all shipping and handling.  It is after all the very least we can do.

May 8, 2012

Close Encounters

Filed under: Blogging,humor,Life,Oklahoma,Recent,Uncategorized — ldsrr91 @ 8:18 PM
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The monkey never learns.  You see, the monkey he loves brown rice, and he knows that if he sticks his hand inside the enclosure, he is going to get shocked.  He knows that it will hurt and it will cause him pain, but he loves the rice, so he sticks his hand in the enclosure one more time.

The room seemed incredibly warm, it could have been the wine, sometimes it has that effect on me.  Looking across the table, she radiates her beauty and everything has that feeling of being just right.  The food is excellent, the waiter is most attentive, and my woman is smiling back at me.  I am not hitting all of them out of the park, but I believe I am getting some base hits, it is going to be a good night.

After dinner, I tell her, “I have a surprise for you.”

She looks at me, and then says, “Oh yeah, what could you have after all this?  This was terrific.”

Sliding her chair out from the table, I reach down and grab her hand, and then smile, “Walk this way my dear.”

The hallway is basically empty and there are not a lot of people about for a Friday night, I am somewhat surprised.  Walking over to the elevator, I punch the button marked up and the doors open.

She looks at me and says, “What’s going on?”  I just smile my toothy smile and say … “Be patient.”

Short ride up to the room, I slip the plastic card into the magnetic card reader, the little green light illuminates and there is a distinct metallic click.  Opening the door, we walk into the room and she smiles, and then says to me, “Ohhhhh, this is nice.”

So far so good.

I pull her close to me and I breathe in the scent that is my woman, she feels good in my arms, she not only entices me, she excites me at the same time.  I kiss her softly and then say to her, “Let’s make love.”

She says, “No we better not.”  I am taken back, after all of my scheming, my planning, all of this, she says “NO?”

I ask her why …. She says “the boys might hear us.”

Which just flabbergasts me to no end, I have heard this before, I have heard it far too many times in my life.

Desperately trying to hold onto what sanity I have left I say … “What?  Are you kidding me?”

She says, “No.  SOMEONE will hear us.”

So I reason with her, maybe this will work.  “No one is going to hear anything, let’s get it on.”

She looks at me with those big brown eyes, eyes a man could drown in, and says “Give me one good reason.”

I sigh, and say “Okay.  I will give you two.

#1 … Listen, the boys are grown and long gone, the youngest one is 39 years old for cryin’ out loud.

And #2 … we are at the Marriott Inn.”

The poor, poor monkey … he never learns.

OOO

Another Ordinary Day

Filed under: Blogging,Life,Oklahoma,Recent,Uncategorized — ldsrr91 @ 6:48 AM
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Goober died over the weekend.  Every time I think of him and his impassioned Cary Grant impersonation (Judy-Judy-Judy-Judy-Judy), or the time Opie put a transmitter under the collar of a dog, and he thought the animal could talk.  The crazy Hillbilly-Yahoo Army Officer on Mash.

I have to smile.

As a baby boomer, I am quickly reaching that point in my life, where I am attending more funerals than I am weddings.  Death is the only thing in this world that never takes a holiday … George will certainly be missed.

Al Qaida rejects … Now this one is a hoot.  Five suspected in Ohio bombing attempt plead not guilty, even as their van explodes in the parking lot! The FBI recently ran a sting operation in Cleveland, Ohio and has arrested five nimrods who were plotting to blow up a bridge on the Interstate Highway System.  They are affectionately known as the “Cleveland Five.”  Here is the information on it, they were also said to be part of the “occupy Cleveland rally.”  Now here is my question, how stupid do you have to be in order to buy $900 worth of inert explosives from the FBI?

And now for question number two:

Ready?

We used to MARCH on these places and then protest, now we OCCUPY THEM which to me, a person who is his perfect weight if he were seven feet tall, tends to suggest we are as overweight and obese as Federal Standards imply.  When complete strangers rub your belly for luck at the Mongolian Palace … well it might be time to go on a diet. 

Whadya think?

Mexican Beauty clear cut winner in Presidential Debate …  Who won Mexico’s first presidential debate? According to the media and Twitter frenzy, at least, the victor wasn’t any candidate but a curvaceous model in a tight gown who puzzled millions by appearing on stage for less than 30 seconds during the showdown.  All we get is Newt and the other Bozo’s.

Now if you don’t think that is bad … well the news is good and then it is bad.  Women’s breasts are now bigger and better, such a important part of life we give them off color names and descriptions.  But breast cancer is on the rise, and you can read about it here.

What is not to like? … Simon Cowell of American Idol fame has a new book out, “I can’t stand Jay-Lo.”  Man-Man, hold the presses, until I can get to Borders or Amazon.com for a copy of that!  Maybe he has a secret crush for Ryan Seacrest, anywho it is out in print now, should be a major yawner for sure.  Personally I like Jay-Lo that baby got back!

EEEEEEEEeeeeewew  …. Over the weekend, Chinese Infant Flesh Capsules were seized.  Now that is just plumb nasty sounding … Do you know what the name of the first Chinese Test Tube baby was?

It was a boy. 

“No Fun Son.”

In the spirit of the gang at Mayberry …  Nip it in the bud!  This is so bad, I am not going to comment, just going to give you the link and you be the judge.

See you at the water cooler …

OOO

[#1246]

May 7, 2012

I want it … I want it … Magic Bus

Filed under: Blogging,Bus Life,humor,Life,Oklahoma,Recent,Uncategorized — ldsrr91 @ 8:22 AM
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My old bus, “Be ye not the first to try the latest, nor the last to cast the old aside” is what my grandmother used to tell me, something truly special about being the owner of an old hoopie that is no longer in production.  Just below the surface, where most people do not bother to look you can find … A small part of me, that yearns to get behind the wheel of a nice, shiny high-dollar Pig Iron Pony.  A quiet soul that would love head out on the interstate and just let it run … Maybe some day in the next life?  Certainly it will not be today.

Here is today’s Riveting Discussion … Torture Time Again … Things I love

The smell of fresh rain on a country road in the summertime.
Songbirds in the tree on the west-side of the house
The view from the top of the hill at the Riverside in Laughlin Nevada.

The husky sound of a woman’s laugh in the dark.
Little children at play.
Long stretches of two lane at dusk
the sound of a big Detroit workin a hill outside of Bozeman
fresh popcorn poppin,
mis-spelled words in Bus Conversion Magazines

Setting the Jake and listening to her bark as she drops off the hill.
High-dollar fuel, bad roads, lousy weather, take the edge off life
Aluminum wheels and shaved rivets
crowded truck stops and radared chicken fry’s
polished wheels excite my senses

I like the look of Albuquerque, New Mexico, after dark from the top of nine mile hill … Same with Las Cruces and The College Exit in Henderson Nevada.
Porpoising on the Interstate in Livingston, Wyoming, running I-20 east out of Houston.

Winning lottery tickets
(Hey … This is my fantasy, remember that.)
“It’s all downhill from Van Horn Texas.”
(Yeah sure)
Diesel mechanics who smile and say, “Ah, this aint nuthin.”

Halter tops and cut off Levi’s
Bacon fryin and the smell of burnt toast in the kitchen,
M&M commercials
No one in line ahead of me at the fuel desk
mashed potatoes and dark rich gravy

straight lines and shiny stainless steel

The smell of diesel exhaust early in the morning
a cup of fresh brewed coffee.
Country Music, Miranda Lambert, Carrie Underwood
NASCAR, CMT Video’s, old time Rock n Roll
long, slow wet kisses in the dark,
Stories told late at night around a dying campfire

Cracker Barrel stores
Chrome shops,
LED’s,
Stainless Steel (no seriously, did I mention stainless steel?)
the wife humming softly at the kitchen sink
fried apples in thick syrup.

And last: 

Meeting another truck on a hill late at night, and he says, “Aint nuthin’ back there driver but a whole lot of dark.”

All that … is a Rainy Day slice of life … And some of it even makes me smile.


OOO

Thanks to Tom at Prevost Community for the photo credit.

[#1245]

May 3, 2012

End Of The Week Dirge

Filed under: Blogging,Life,Oklahoma,Recent,Uncategorized — ldsrr91 @ 7:44 PM
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Wow, where has this week gone?  I look up, and whoosh, it is almost finished.  Time to get back up on my soapbox and tell you what I find wrong with today.  Been kind of a slow week here, not a whole lot of comments and it has been for lack of a better word, quiet.

Dear Self did not take off like I thought it would, so next week, I am going to devote an entire week to it, excerpts from all of the authors, for the entire week.  Having found interest in the idea and the concept, I feel a definite need to share it with all of you.

You have been warned.

Wind is supposed to blow again today, so I am in no big hurry to get out there and hit it.  Which is a break for the home team I suppose.  I just took a moment to email a friend of mine with a link, and low and behold, I absolutely forgot where it was that I was before the email.

Much too often I find myself walking into a room and thinking to myself, “What in the hell am I doing in here?”  My eyes search the room screaming out to my brain …. “Where is it?  Where is it?” … And my brain screams back … “WHAT IS IT?  WHAT IS IT?”

Does that ever happen to you?

Thank goodness for the “history” feature of the web browser.  Without it … on a lot of days, I would be totally lost.  But then again, being lost on the computer is no new thing for me, this is not my first rodeo.

Having said all of that, I will now close with this.  Thanks for stoppin by today to read my particular round of drivel and semi-related-text-fodder (fodder-al?), dropping by to spend a little time here between the lines, wondering what it is that makes this guy tick.  That was nice of you and I sincerely hope you got something from the piece.

I think I did.

Today I have figured out that “life without computers, is some of the best time you can spend with yourself.”  If you want a good investment of your time and energy, go find a pond and skips some rocks, take a walk with your grand-daughter and show her the wonders and mysteries of life.  Get off your keyboard and get outside.  Life is short … Enjoy the Ride. 

Have a great weekend, we will see all of you on Monday.

OOO

WHAT FOLKS HAVE BEEN READING THIS WEEK AT CREATIVE ENDEAVORS:

Home page / Archives
Bikinis (The reason men are pigs)
The Worry Tree
Clear Blue Sky
If I Were The Devil
Drop The Soap (audio)
My Favorite Animal
Wood Ice Chest
Good Girls
Sneak Into America(audio)

May 2, 2012

If I Were The Devil

Filed under: Blogging,Life,Oklahoma,Recent,Uncategorized — ldsrr91 @ 7:14 PM
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Now here is the scary part … he said all this back in 1965.

OOO

Add New

Filed under: Blogging,Life,Oklahoma,Recent,Uncategorized — ldsrr91 @ 6:44 AM

On some days, you come in, sit down, pull it all up and there it is … “Add New.”

At that point you realize, you have nothing.

Used to be that would really bother me.  I ranked it right up there with no one returning my phone calls, not answering my emails, or no response to my written inquiries, my first stolen bicycle and a bad case of the flu.

Now days … Well it just doesn’t bother me all that much.

I guess you just learn to take it all with a grain of salt, you weigh it for what it is, and then you move on.  Today, as the wind blows again some 20-30 mph out of the south, I am going to drink one more cup of coffee and then go out and clean up my shop.

When I have something interesting … something “new” … I will put it up.

OOO

May 1, 2012

Good Girls

Filed under: Blogging,humor,Life,Oklahoma,Recent,Uncategorized — ldsrr91 @ 7:26 AM
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Carrie Underwood has to be the best thing to come out of Oklahoma in over twenty years.  Watching her in the new video “Good Girl” just warms my heart, but of course, this is spring (May 1st) and a man’s fancy turns to lighter things this time of the year.

Out of all the technology that I have been exposed to in the 21st Century, the DVR has to be, hands down, the best of all of it.  I can rewind her video and watch it over and over, as many times as I wish.  I did the same thing with Country Girl* last year, over and over, dulling my senses like a good narcotic the DVR met my every need.

I suppose every man wants a “Good Girl” or at least he wants to marry one.  In the bedroom he wants a hooker, a bad girl, someone who will take the innovative approach and take charge, someone to draw out of his dark and secret places, the lust in his heart.

But it is the “Good Girl” that he desires to manage his family and bear his young.

So, when you think of a “Good Girl” who is it that comes to mind?  Doris Day?  Rachel Raye?  (Now that one will age a few of us, huh?)  Certainly not Cher, Madonna or Shania Twain.  It is so easy for one to conger up the image of a “bad girl” but the “good girl” thing, takes a little work.

As a nation of “less than desirable role models,” we often have to strive to find the positive image that walks around us. It is sort of like having $19 in the bank, you can see it there, standing at the ATM, but you just know they are not going to give it to you.  We know that she (the good girl) is out there … but locating her …. well, it’s not often that easy to do.  It is just our nature, if you do not believe that, then just ask any Secret Service Agent, they can clue you in.

(Please take into consideration here, that I am not saying that all women in the U.S. are whores and sluts, just that we have our fair share of them and nothing more than that.  We do not wish to slander any whore or slut, living or dead, and if so, it was purely coincidental and not on purpose.  That should kill off any nasty emails from my aunt Alice in Cleveland, Ohio).

Image is important to all of us, no doubt about it.

I personally have asked my wife to bury me 8 feet down, so that later on in life, she can truthfully say … “Deep down he was a nice guy.”

Same with our women, image is important if not everything.  We put our ladies up on a pedestal and we worship them, we revere them, we spend our every waking moment in life, trying our best to please them.  All the time wishing in the back of our mind that just once, I wish she would be a bad girl just for me.

It takes our mind off the other things in life that are pressing concerns for us, and cause us unnecessary anxiety.  Stuff like …. “Will the world really increase eleven degree’s in temperature, in the coming century, and melt off the ice caps?  In just a few short decades, a mere fraction of time, will Europe become as inhospitable as the ever changing sands of the Sahara?

As the ice sheet melts, and millions of people in low lying areas are flooded out, and others have no drinking water, what will happen?  Will there be wars over resources, famines, and the total collapse of state structures across the globe?”

When you stop and think about that, well, it is really easy to understand why a guy would sit in his best easy chair, and rewind over and over the “Good Girl” and try to think of something pleasant in nature.

Or in other words, as Dr. Phil would say …. How’s that workin for ya?

Now if you will excuse me, I am going to trot over here and read this piece about some grandparents pulling the tot behind the car in Florida.  (Why is it all the truly weird stuff always seems to come out of God’s Waiting Room … Florida)

OOO

*  Country Girl Video here … Crank It Up

April 30, 2012

Dear Self

Filed under: Blogging,humor,Life,Oklahoma,Recent,Uncategorized — ldsrr91 @ 7:21 AM
Tags:

Coffee is strong this morning (I robbed the pot before it was actually done) it has that rich hearty flavor as they say on the commercials, robust and fine.  I must be insane or something, do they actually believe that I am supposed to accept the statement “that I search the world over, for the ingredients to make the PERFECT DORRITO CHIP?” and while I am at it, might as well set the mood for the piece right?

IF I EVER SEE ANOTHER STUPID FREECREDITSCORE.COM COMMERCIAL AGAIN IN MY LIFE … IT WILL BE TOO SOON.

NOW REALLY …  A Florida man shot his girlfriend because he mistook her for a hog.  I am not making this up.  You can read about it here.  Come to think of it, I had a blind date like that once.  Come on … Give Us A Break.

LIFE IS TOUGH DEPARTMENT …  A fugitive who took a Kansas couple hostage in their home is suing them for $235K.  He claims they accepted his knifepoint offer of money to hide in their house.  But they later breached the oral contract by escaping as he slept.  He then says, “this resulted in my being shot in the back by authorities.”  And therefore the lawsuit.  Stop the world y’honor, I want off.

BRAIN TEASERS …  I will never understand this at all.  A guy locks himself out of the house, so in order to save money (by not calling a locksmith) he crawls down the chimney of his house and gets lodged and has to be rescued.  Now here is the rub, “what makes someone believe they are going to get by the damper?”  I mean it is just plain stooopid.

Here is another one.  All you people who pick your nose at the stoplight while sitting in your car?  Do you actually believe you are invisible to the rest of us?

C’mon!

DEAR SELF … If you were asked to write yourself a letter when you were sixteen years old, what would you write to yourself?  Now that is an interesting subject to tackle this morning, how would you formulate a response to this question …

What would you say to your 16 year old self?

Would you have warned yourself to steer clear of mind altering substances (drugs) and not to date all those trashy women who did not appreciate you.  How about the no load guys who were too lazy to get a job, and wanted to sponge off not only your good looks but also your generosity.

What would you have written in this letter?

My Dearest Teenage Don, I had a urinary tract infection … again. 



That sentence appeared in my head as I thought about this premise (idea), just as you see it above. I have no idea what it means, other than the obvious. Regardless, I thought it’d be interesting to begin a letter to my teenage self with it and just see where it goes. 



Teenage Don, I had a urinary tract infection … again.

I had to go to the family clinic.  Mom’s doctor liked to abbreviate the condition to UTI. He said that my only option non-specific-uretharitis was in this case was cranberry juice and abstinence. Thankfully, my mother, was always very understanding. How she knew about these kind of things, I will never know. 

When I asked Dad he just said, “go ask your mother.” 

Just remember this:  Life is tough when you are sixteen, and things just kind of gravitate towards that goal for the remainder of your life, and of course, stamps will cost a LOT more when YOU write yourself a letter when you are sixty and I am dead. 

So here is my advice to you this day. 

Try desperately to get young supple ladies to wrap their legs around your 27 inch waist, learn to juggle, play frisbee, always use Zig-Zag rolling papers, drink Sweet Bitch wine from Chile, that has been cooled in the surf of the Pacific Ocean by means of a long string and a beach of fine white sand.  Always avoid window-pane acid (I mean, who would want to watch their face melt in a mirror without suffering a full-blown psychotic break?) and by all means, as you age and mature, stay away from politics in any way, shape, form or manner. 

You should be okay (maybe).

Ok, there is mine, what is yours, what would you say to your sixteen year old self, if you had the chance?

See you at the water cooler

OOO

[#1238]

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