Creative Endeavors, The Home of BoxcarOkie.com

December 16, 2014

Under The Radar …

Filed under: Blogging,humor,Life,Recent — ldsrr91 @ 12:07 AM
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Okay, Okay … Everything is going along just purrrrrrfek.  The new Interstate section is now open and the traffic is moving smoothly, only takes me 35 minutes to get to the doctor’s office and the hospital.  No one flipped me off, and the wife didn’t have to re-load when I changed lanes, it is gonna be a good day.

Time to check in.  

They have this new hand scanner thing that identifies me and I don’t have a lot of paperwork to contend with, I am a happy camper.  A nice looking lady walks into the room and calls out “Number 28” which is my number and she leads me to a room.  

This is when I first see …. IT. 

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There I am introduced to this huge do-nut looking machine and a whole lot of gauges.  My anxiety level seems to surge looking at this thing that ought to be in a Star Wars feature, it is massive.

She tells me to disrobe and put on the free-flowing don’t look while he is walking away gown and some slippers. 

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Just to be on the safe side of the hospital attire scale, I snatch a second robe and cover up the first robe.  She sits down next to me and begins a series of questions.

Do you have or ever have questions:

Do you smoke
no
Do you drink
no
Do you cheat at cards
No
Do you trifle with other peoples women
no
Have you ever secretly watched Martha Stewart or Kathy Lee Gifford video’s
Absolutely not!

Do you have:

Heart Disease
Yes
Diabetes
Yes
High Blood Pressure
Yes
Cholesterol
Yes
Have you ever been operated on
Yes, six times
Recently
Yes

Do you currently have cancer?

That is when I lost it. 

Jeeze lady, you don’t think I have enough on my plate right now to say Grace over?

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I am now seriously considering moving to Asia and trying some acupuncture treatments, now that, looks interesting.

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December 14, 2014

No Longer A King

Filed under: Bus Life,Life — ldsrr91 @ 12:17 PM
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imagesThis morning I understand that I have been displaced as the undisputed Mega Maniacal Bus Board King of BCM.  This saddens me to some extent, but not much.  I checked out of there a long time ago, and have since, found greener pastures and solace in life. 

ROS is now king, long live ROS.

These days I concentrate on the things I love.  My old bus, “Be ye not the first to try the latest, nor the last to cast the old aside” is what my grandmother used to tell me, something truly special about being the owner of an old hoopie that is no longer in production

The smell of fresh rain on a country road in the summertime.
Songbirds in the tree on the westside of the house
The view from the top of the hill at the Riverside in Laughlin Nevada.

The husky sound of a woman’s laugh in the dark.
Little children at play.
Long stretches of two lane at dusk
the sound of a big Detroit workin a hill outside of Bozeman
fresh popcorn poppin,
mis-spelled words in Bus Conversion Magazines

Setting the Jake and listening to her bark as she drops off the hill.
High-dollar fuel, bad roads, lousy weather, take the edge off life
Aluminum wheels and shaved rivets
crowded truck stops and radared chicken fry’s
polished wheels excite my senses

I like the look of Albuquerque New Mexico after dark from the top of nine mile hill …
Same with Las Cruces and The College Exit in Henderson Nevada.
Porpoising on the Interstate in Wyoming, running I-20 east out of Houston.

Winning lottery tickets
(Hey … This is my whimsical dream, remember that.)
“It’s all downhill from Van Horn Texas.”
(Yeah sure)

Diesel mechanics who smile and say, “Ah, this aint nuthin.”

Halter tops and cut off Levi’s
Bacon fryin and the smell of burnt toast in the kitchen
(There you go Paul!),
M&M commercials
No one in line ahead of me at the fuel desk
mashed potatoes and dark rich gravy

The smell of diesel exhaust early in the morning
a cup of fresh brewed coffee.
Country Music, Miranda Lambert, Carrie Underwood
NASCAR, CMT Video’s, old time Rock n Roll
long, slow wet kisses in the dark,
Stories told late at night around a dying campfire

Cracker Barrel stores
Chrome shops,
LED’s,
Stainless Steel
the wife humming softly at the kitchen sink
fried apples in thick syrup.

And last:

Meeting another truck on a hill late at night, and he says, “Aint nuthin’ back there driver but a whole lot of dark.” 

All that … is a Windy Winter Day slice of life … Some of it even makes me smile.   As I am now officially aware that I am no longer a King, I shall ply my trade as a humble serf in the bus board Kingdom and stumble happily thru life.

I mean, who need’s all that childish crap?

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Jus Sayin 1214

Filed under: Blogging,Holidays,Life — ldsrr91 @ 12:46 AM
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images-1What do you want for Christmas?
(Oregon blueberry pie doesn’t count Paul)

It really aint what you think it is
Two guys in a bus shop are talking,
and he says:
“We can press hard on her rear-end and that should button her up good.”
That one ….  And an empty box from Northern Tools
will stop the wife in her tracks for sure.

Two old ladies sitting on a park bench and one says:
“She is Patti’s daughter, she really isn’t all that C-U-T-E.”
Little girl turns around and says:
“Yes. But she is S-M-A-R-T.

Never thought I would say this, but NBC finally got one right.

Tonight they reported that “American’s took to the streets in protest over racial unrest in Ferguson Mo. and around the country.
They didn’t say “Afro-Americans” they said “Americans
because if you are from Ferguson or KC you aint Afro anything … You are homegrown bro.

Half of the hill behind your house is now in your living room
your Toyota Prius is buried under 6 ft of rocks and mud
there is nowhere on the street to put the trash can out on Friday
and the man looks straight into the camera and says,

“Don’t worry. This is our fourth time, we will rebuild.”

You just gotta love a Californian.

Jus Sayin

No post tomorrow, going to the doctor.

December 13, 2014

Jus Sayin 1213

Filed under: Blogging,humor,Life — ldsrr91 @ 8:37 AM
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unknown8
I hate doing this, but it seems that I must. No name calling is permitted at all. We are all grownups and each of us is expected to act like it. Just because someone uses a name that you feel is not correct doesn’t mean they are wrong. We will not put up with this kind of behavior at all.
 

So if I were to say, “I don’t like that guy he is a dirty-egg sucking dog.” 

That would not be allowed because it is offensive to the dog?

Nine times outta ten, when someone says 
“I hope you don’t mind me saying this but …”
You are going to mind.

Then when you do muster up the courage to say it, you get:

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Story of my life

Jus Sayin

December 10, 2014

Jus Sayin 1211

Filed under: Blogging,Life,Uncategorized — ldsrr91 @ 10:29 PM

Fortunately for me, the crew of the Ice Cutter saw me standing all alone on the Ice floe and came to my rescue.  No longer able to feel my feet or toes, my fingers turning a dark black color …

No that aint right. 

Wednesday morning I was sitting at Starbucks, drinking a not so hot latte and the sky lit up, a huge meteor the size of …

No that aint right.

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Last Friday at four-fifty-seven PM … At the most unfortunate time in my life, the bus coughed twice and came to rest on the railroad tracks, in the distance I could hear a train whistle …

No … that is DEFINITELY not right.

Now I am going to devote the rest of this day to some kind of time-waster or cheap thrill.  Such as giving my bologna a middle name, or some other important issue.

I am not, under any circumstances going to mow, sack, cut, trim, sweep, take to the curb or re-arrange anything other than the head pillows on my easy boy recliner.

It’s a tough job … but someone has to do it.

Jus Sayin

Jus Sayin 1210

Filed under: Blogging,Life,women — ldsrr91 @ 8:10 AM
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imgresNot long ago, a cute little honey from my neighborhood friended me on Facebook and push came to shove, a couple of enticing selfies reflecting off the bathroom mirror, a few lies sprinkled here and there and y’know, we just naturally set up a meet. 

She sent me a message that said “Come on over.  There is no one home.” 

So I jumped in my pickup and raced over there.

Sure enuff, there wasn’t anyone there.

FaceBook is so cruel.

Jus Sayin

December 8, 2014

Jus Sayin 1208

Filed under: Blogging,Life,Oklahoma — ldsrr91 @ 12:05 AM
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Adult10

He appeared normal.
He spoke and behaved just like anyone else.
The fact that he had no heart was very well concealed.
Well, that’s not entirely true.
He did have one.

It was just not in his possession at the moment.

And this is where the story gets complicated.
I hope you’re holding someone’s hand.

As you age in life and come to the realization that you are no longer Young At Heart
you start to understand that you only have a few summers left
and things naturally change
Your wife will only have sex with you for a purpose.

For instance … Last night she used me to time an egg.

She will stand you up for inspection before leaving the house
taking great care to make sure you are zipped up and ready to go
At times you will believe it’s really tough to stay married.

Especially when she kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from your glass!

Jus Sayin

December 7, 2014

I WANT TO ROAM

Filed under: Holidays,Life,Oklahoma — ldsrr91 @ 9:10 AM
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Third day of persistent fog, you would think we are in London or something.  Anywho, I am tired of it.

Lack of sunshine has a tendency to change my outlook on life.  Always has and I suppose it always will.  I could use a little sunshine, a little less Christmas Muzak, and a stiff belt of something.

Another thing is I am not getting outside much, getting so fat, this spring I will be able to sell shade at our annual garage sale.

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Came out here to check on the space heaters, do not want to have to buy a water pump like I had to do a couple of years ago.  I am looking at the old hoopie and it has my juices flowing, I want to get out on the road and fly!

To roam at will … I want to be westbound and down, six on the floor, the other foot out the door, in the smart aleck lane, styling down the boulevard.

Aint gonna happen.

Before gainful employment corrupted my life, I used to delight in long solo drives back to the Midwest to check up on the Rust Belt of America. Now I find that I am relegated to writing letters to the editor, to have them edited for content, brevity and perhaps, temporary insanity.

Reading E-mails from AT&T that state: “Your telephone bill is ready; please check online at” ……. as if I was anxiously expecting that and/or waiting in great anticipation for it.

Or …. “In order to register your new domain name, it will be necessary for YOU to provide US with this, and that, yadda-yadda, blah-blah.  Soon the kids will be here to collect their Christmas lucre and that one kid will say something like:  I love what you’ve done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that?”  The little prince of scratch n sniff, he is my favorite one of the bunch.

Guess I will slink back in there and watch a little TV. 

When I see ads on TV with smiling, happy housewives using a new cleaning product, the only thing I want to buy are the meds they must be on.  One last thing, “The key to every relationship is honesty. Honesty. Honesty. Honesty. Honesty. … Gonna keep typing this until she stops looking over my shoulder.”

C’mon Sunshine!

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Daddy’s Toddies …

Filed under: Life,Oklahoma — ldsrr91 @ 12:03 AM
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One of the things I really enjoy or look forward to this time of the year is Egg Nog.

Super Sweet and Ice Cold as it slowly slinks its way down my throat to my stomach, it often triggers an emotion of … well … it is just good stuff.  Being a diabetic I am not allowed this luxury of life, and it is not good for me, which means I have to sneak it in the house in a brown paper bag, and hide it in “MY” refrigerator.

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(By the way … Every man should have his own refrigerator, put that on your list for this year)

Unfortunately sometimes in life, we often unknowingly consume things or liquids that are not good for us. Here is an example:  It was a bad week to be a manager at Applebee’s in Michigan. The restaurant has apologized for serving a toddler tequila other than apple juice.

His mother said she knew something was amiss when her 15 month old son started saying “Hi and Bye to the walls” and that he eventually laid his head down on the table.

The poor kid was later found to have a blood alcohol level of 0.10 which would make him legally drunk in a lot of states if he were driving.

Applebee’s has promised a full investigation, this should come before the court case and the litigations.

I know this is a serious thing, don’t get me wrong.

Like I said, this time of the year it kind of reminds me of Egg Nog, and my dad, who was an alcoholic. When we were small children, he would make my sister and I “Hot Toddies” (Egg Nog, Jack Daniels, Cinnamon, warmed and served in a small decorative glass) at Christmas time.

We (my sister and I) didn’t know the drinks had booze in them, and they were sweet and tasted simply wonderful. So when this adult role model freely offered us this sweet, warm elixir from the dairy heartland, we lapped it up.

As small dinkers, we just assumed they were “part of the Christmas tradition” in our home. We didn’t know our dad was getting us swacked.

Mom would come home from work and exclaim, “Jeeze Loren, the kids sure seem to be in a good mood?” and he would shrug his shoulders and say something like … “Aw, it’s Christmas, you know how they get.”

Most of my family are now gone and the Holidays often do not represent a happy time for me personally. If your family unit is well and intact, treasure the time you have to spend with them.

As MasterCard is so fond of saying … “That is priceless.”

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December 6, 2014

Jus Sayin 1206

Filed under: Life,Oklahoma — ldsrr91 @ 12:02 AM
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911 what is your problem?
All my trees are humming and my kids are glowing in the dark.

In 1986 the reactor core at Chernobyl melted down and spread radioactive material over a large part of the Ukraine and Europe.

400 times more than what the USA dropped on Hiroshima at the end of World War II. Scientists are now saying it still will be 20,000 years before it will be safe to live there again.

If we stopped everything today,
no more fossil fuels
no more coal,
no more transportation.
gas, elec. or diesel.

If every country in the world shut it all down,
and we rode a bicycle to work each day
sat in the dark at night, and froze our collective butts’ off …

It would still take the earth over sixty years to recover her carbon footprint and start on a road to better health.

Since the first Atom tests shattered the dawn in New Mexico in the late forties, there have been 2,603 nuclear tests above ground in the open air.

And everyone wonders why were all suffering from Cancer.

Jus Sayin

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