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January 31, 2011
January Index 2011
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It Must Be Monday
The wind blows hard this morning, it comes roaring across the plains with a vengeance, carrying it with bitter cold. I don’t know where it is has been, but it has been blowing across snow, it tears at the corner of my eye, and it chills me to the marrow of my bone. I secretly long to be somewhere else.
This time of the year, it is hard to find that ideal spot in life, that pleasing place, where everything is right. Back east my friends are still covered in snow, locked down and the first stages of Cabin Fever seem to be rearing its ugly head. I stop to think about it all, things could be a lot worse for myself.
I count my blessings.
A bad week to be a football fan, at least in Washington state that is. A Washington state middle schooler was sent home for wearing the wrong NFL jersey. His school which has an official uniform last week, allowed students to wear Seattle Seahawks jerseys for a team-appreciation day. Grendon Bailie, who is 13 years old, wore the jersey of his beloved Pittsburg Steelers and was told to change or be suspended. His only comment was: “Not everyone is a Seahawks fan.”
It is not easy being a thirteen year old these days.
A Houston Texas couple was told to stop feeding the homeless because they do not have a permit. The couple had been feeding up to 120 people per night, using donated food prepared by volunteers. But City officials, in their infinite wisdom, decided to shut down the program because the kitchen isn’t inspected and certified. Their collective reasoning was that “poor people are the most vulnerable to food-borne illness.” Which is kind of like saying “Homeless people are lucky, they get to camp out every night.” Let’s form a committee and pool our ignorance, Houston you have a problem.
I guess it is best to just let them starve too death.
Good news! Do you desire to have healthy skin? British researchers found that eating five more portions of fruit and vegetables a day raises carotid levels and gives skin a golden tone, making people look healthier and more attractive. My skin, is not all that pretty, I don’t normally think in terms of “skin care.” Does the word “well preserved” readily come to mind here?
At my age I figure I would have to eat a dump-truck load of carrots, just to be considered “good looking.”
It also appears I may have to go back to dressing for success in order to look good. Believe it or not, it pays off. Lady Gaga and her ridiculous getups, are projected to make $100 million this year. In my minds eye, I can still remember my mother standing there and saying to me, “I am NOT going to pay $4.05 for a pair of Levi’s!”
Life moves on.
Former Kalifornia Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger calculated that he lost roughly $200 million in box-office receipts by serving in government instead of making movies. “It was more than worth it,” Arnold said. Yeah? Try taking that to Cracker Barrel for a cup of coffee and an order of Chicken N Dumplings.
Things are warming up down under. This week it was announced that a group of Austrian undertakers said that they planned to funnel the excess heat generated by the crematorium next door into their new headquarters, so as to not waste energy.
I have saved the boring but important stuff for last.
This past week, President Obama ordered a regulatory review of all Federal departments. He issued an executive order directing federal departments “to root out those agencies that have rules that conflict, are not worth the cost, or are just plain dumb.”
The main snag or hangup here, would be where do you start?
Our president went on to say (now this one is a hoot), government rules strengthen our country without unduly interfering with the economy. And he went on further to say that although there are obvious gaps in the regulatory framework, it all seems to be working just peachy, and everything is going just swell.
Filled up lately Mr. President?
A Massachusetts cat has been summoned for jury duty, after it was listed by its owner on the census form. The cat received his summons, the cats owner said she contacted the jury commission to request disqualification on the grounds that Sal’s language skills are limited. And I suppose that he could be considered racist, as it was rumored that he definitely did not like dogs. It has to be true, I mean, I read it on the Internet.
Sit back, take a deep breath, and relax … Spring is just around the corner, it will be here before you know it.
OOO
Cartoons courtesy of Center for American Progress
January 28, 2011
Crossroads
Rushing to meet the new day, standing in the kitchen, apparently not willing to wait for a fresh cup of coffee, in my haste I am tapping the pot for something that is akin to lukewarm, half-brewed brown elixir.
Give it to me! I need it now!
A little Carrie Underwood on CMT (Country Music Television) and my world seems to be falling into place like an old familiar puzzle, worked before. But it is a false hope, I still can feel uncertainty in my life this day, gnawing on me from somewhere deep within.
At much as I want it to be, my world is far from perfect.
I am again, standing at the Crossroads, not really knowing which path is the right path, which is the right way and which way is wrong for me. When I find myself in this particular junction it is because I have been brought here and it is usually an unexpected choice that I have to make.
Most of us do not realize it, but following God’s will is a daily decision.
The majority of the time, we are not given a second chance when we stand at the Crossroads. Shakespeare captured the very essence of it in his play Julius Caesar, as Brutus rallied his co-conspirators against Caesar. Though he chose the wrong path, Brutus eloquently articulated the fleeting opportunities these crossroads present.
“There is a tide in the affairs of men which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune; omitted, all the voyage of their life is bound in shallow and in miseries. On such a full sea we are now afloat, and we must take the current when it serves or lose our ventures.”
No more missed opportunities, time is of the essence, we are in the short rows of life. I can ill afford to lightly shrug off the path that God leads me on this week. I cannot afford to turn a deaf ear to the sweet voice that calls to the deepest reaches of my inner being. Having no way of knowing where this juncture of life will take me. I can ill afford to ignore a prompting from the spirit.
This could be the week that was supposed to be used to change a life. My biggest concern as always was my being prepared for the challenge, this morning, I hope and silently pray that I am ready. It could be entirely possible that I did not recognize nor heed the call. I don’t know if the path is the right path, like I said, but if it wasn’t the best path for me, He surely would not be calling me to walk down it.
So through it all I am forced to remain optimistic and upbeat. The choices that determine our destinies are not always the choices that make the headlines. This week the Lord will gave me choices to either test or build my character and my obedience.
Gather Ye Rosebuds while ye may
Old time is still a flying
And this same flower that smiles today
Tomorrow will be dyin.
Have a great weekend (or don’t, it is your choice) do your level best to touch a heart, to change a life, find someone and make them smile. Give everyone you meet your absolute evel best … It is the very least you can do.
OOO
January 26, 2011
Clean Air
Life is tough sometimes
There are a million decisions to make
And none of them
Are easyThere are things
You want to do
But can’t
And things
You don’t want to do
But have toThere are good times
And hard times
And days you feel
Like nobody
could ever possibly understandWhat it is like to be you
And you know
That is probably right.But Jesus is here
If you want to talk
Or hang outAnd forget about life
For just a short while.
He is here for the long haul
Or just for a mile.Hang in there … it is all going to work out
Watch N See.
Let’s throw this one out on the porch and see if the cat will lick it up. Have found some time to read this week, and that is always good. I enjoy reading other peoples stuff. I am reading this science fiction book and they are talking about putting astronauts to sleep on long voyages into space. A sort of “suspended animation” if you will?
They do this so that on the long deep penetrations into space, so the members of the space crew do not age.
Now it appears that this could be possible. Scientists have taken a big step toward making that dream a reality. A recent study in which they’ve successfully halted the metabolism of test mice while actually keeping them alive has just taken place back east.
They did this by dosing mice with hydrogen sulfide gas (this is the gas that gives swamps and rotten eggs their stink). After inhaling the gas, the animals’ metabolisms completely stopped and their heartbeats slowed to roughly half the regular rate.
So it occurred to me.
“If you were to ride with me after consuming Mexican Food, in the cab of an enclosed pickup, on a long red dirt road in Oklahoma some afternoon, I could actually suspend a few months, possibly a year or two of your life.”
Breathe deep.
OOO
January 24, 2011
Twisted Evolution
Three of my good friends called to check on me this weekend, I am pleased. Put me down as a Happy Camper in life. Of those, my friend Wynell, was even brave enough to venture an opinion of sorts. She said that I need to get out of the house more often.
So Cup Cake and I, we drove downtown this weekend, for some Mexican Food for lunch. After consuming wayyyyy too much hot & spicy Mexican food we went down to the Bass Pro fishing joint.
Didn’t make a purchase of an item, just browsed the store, looking at the sporting goods, fishing, hunting stuff. Walked around the store looking at this and that, didn’t really buy anything.Although I love the outdoors, nature and all the wonders of it, it would be a fair assumption to say that I am not a big sportsman.
Now if I could find a girl that loved to fish, I might consider it.
So we are downtown at the local bait shop and sporting good store. On the way out of the store, a security guard approached me and he said “Sir, could I have a word with you?” and I sez, “Sure, what is it you need?” and he replies, “We are going to have to detain you for a little while, could you please follow me?”
So then I reply, “Detain me? What are you talking about?”
And he said ….. “Sir. You are under suspicion of stealing duck calls and stink bait!”
Mexican food gets me every time.
Maybe Wynell is wrong, maybe I ought to just stay in the house. While we are on the subject of food? (Nice blend huh? Well, whadya expect for free) Buffalo Wings as I understand it are forty years old, and that was a NEWSWORTHY item because? Well they are. That is another mystery … “Buffalo WINGS?” … Never quite understood the terminology behind that, how can a buffalo have wings?
Just like this dinosaur thing, they say that is where birds came from, they were once dinosaurs and had to evolve.
Taking it one step further I suppose all the buffalo were taken so evolutionarily speaking they were made into birds. Huh? Kind of like Chicken McNuggets, what part of the chicken is that, exactly? How about this “Man from Apes theory.” If man truly came from Apes and the species evolved … Then why do we still have Apes? Just thinking outside the box here, which should be quite apparent. Another obvious point should be that this is being written by a guy who never had his science project turned in on time.
Let’s get serious.
Why is it that our children cannot read a bible in school, but they give them one in prison. How come they took out “one nation under God” out of the pledge of allegiance, but are allowed to pass out free condoms in school. Why do I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, before God and on the bible in court testimony, and inside the same building there are no displays of the ten commandments. If there truly is a “separation of church and state” (I believe there is not) then why is it that my polling place, is in a church?
Just thinking out loud again … Anyone want to take a shot at one of those, any of those?
I didn’t think so.
It is great to have good friends, who like they say in the bible are obligated to check on the old and the feeble minded. One thing I do know for sure is this. Nine times out of ten, when someone says to you, “I hope you don’t mind me saying this …. But ….” You will. Criticism is a good healthy thing, and if it adds to the mix, then it is a bonus. I just accept it (as best as I can) and tell them this.
When you happen across some of this drivel, my distinct temporary loss of sanity, take it with a grain of salt and move on. It is my opinion, that writers’ write because they like to write, some feel the need to write, others want to be writers, and few if any have a real problem with people who do not understand these concepts.
It is kind of like garbage. Sift thru it, grab what is good for you, what you like, what amuses you, and then throw the rest away. As I am not wanting to be long and boring, uninteresting or Republican. I will check out for now.
To those who occasionally call, and offer your sincere encouragement, thanks for the input. For all of you who check in on Monday’s to see what is new and then comment, again, thanks, we appreciate it. If it doesn’t agree with you … if it reads well or doesn’t … let me know. Feedback is a good thing. That my friends, is Monday in a nut-shell, I am glad we got all that out of the way, now I can get back into the kitchen and stick my head back in the oven.
I really didn’t want to get up early anyway.
OOO
January 21, 2011
Vision and Hope
Some days are better than others, sometimes I am rock steady and at other times, shaky and not so confident.
Take yesterday for instance, I was at WalMart getting some salad stuff and I see her, heading my way, down the main aisle.
And she is TEXT MESSAGING while pushing a shopping cart, I am not making this up people, she is pushing towards me and at the same time, looking down, she is texting.
So I stop, I brace myself and I think … Now this is going to be interesting.
The woman, clearly not paying attention to her surroundings and oblivious to other shoppers in the store, continues to text and push forward with her cart.
And then wham! Head-on collision in the pickle jar section.
This somewhat abrupt stop shifts most of her weight over the handle-bars of the shopping cart, and clearly does not help her keep her composure at the moment.
She is now very flustered, she is embarrassed, and at the same time, a bit peeved. “Why didn’t you warn me?” she demands, and I just smile. “You could have at least said something!” Again … I just smile. Another quick thought comes to my mind, “somewhere, there is someone that is MARRIED to this” and one last time, I smile.
Each and every day life presents me with new challenges. There is D.U.I. = Driving Under The Influence, D.W.I.= Driving While Intoxicated, D.W.Y.= Driving While Yaking and now this … T.W.C.= Tex-ting Without A Clue. As my grandmother was so fond of saying … “I believe I have seen it all Lord.”
Man, if I did not have my sense of humor, I would go bonkers, I am sure of it.
Here is today’s’ impossible life lesson #101, or something like that. Today we will talk about or discuss: Joy, peace, patience, vision and hope. How to find something that rows your boat, and then hang onto it. It has been said that with age comes wisdom, and perhaps this could apply here, I don’t know. But I am finding that I am experiencing some of these tendencies much more frequently now, and that it is paying off. I seem to have more joy than before, not at levels that I would consider “infectious” but still, I am operating at a level that is more enjoyable here lately.
What used to wear me down and break my spirit, no longer is of importance. I also seem to have more patience than before. I still do not share a vision for my life, I am not sure, exactly sure, what it is that God wants of me. But I believe I have a slight inkling of what that might be. He doesn’t want me tearing his children down, or kicking his creations. No percentage points in being rude, nasty or hateful, so I just don’t do it.
I simply cannot remain super-serious all the time and fill my mind with only the harsh and painful realities of life. I leave that for the Bill O’Reilly types on the Fox Network.
• Virtually every day I can find at least one thing to laugh about.
• I often need something to make the serious side of life, more palatable.
• It distracts my attention.
• Reduces tension and allows me to breathe.
• It changes my expectations and soothes the edges of my ragged soul.
• Laughing provides endorphins in the body, natural pain killers, and I often need them, believe it or not.
• When the world gets so ugly and serious, I need these diversions to make all the difference in my ability to cope with life’s crushing demands.
• I do my best to do this one thing. Find treasure and peace in the quiet moments of the day, smile and laugh often.
So here I sit, six-fifteen A.M. in the morning, sippin’ on a cup of coffee, putting down all my “wisdom nuggets” on the page for no one in particular, except myself. And you know what?
Today isn’t going to be all that great when you step back and take a look at it; it is more than likely going to be ordinary and plain. It is winter time in Oklahoma, it is going to be bitter cold and ugly. Too often, a lot of my days are like that, simply because my goals at this time of the morning are mostly non-existent.
But I like you, have a choice in the matter. I can sit back and lament the fact that things are possibly not to go just “exactly” the way I would want them to go this day. Or I can choose to trust in the Lord, and see what he brings on the scene.
Laughter doth good medicine. Trust me, “I am self medicating myself on a daily basis. Anesthesiology for the soul.” And the absolute best thing about it all … You don’t need a prescription.
It’s free.
OOO
January 19, 2011
Day Dreamer
There is a school of thought that says that “day dreaming is not good for you.” That it raises false expectations about life and then kicks the door open for depression to move in. I don’t necessarily subscribe to this theory and often find myself doing just that, day dreaming.
A long time ago, an ocean of time would be closer to the truth; I would sit in Mrs. McGee’s English Class and look out the window, and wonder what was out there?
English sucked and I didn’t want any part of it when I was sixteen years old. I felt that there were more important things in life than a good working knowledge of the language, a command of the written word.
When you are sixteen, expressing the wisdom you posses thru words, is kind of impossible, because when you are sixteen, you are woefully short on wisdom. I had no real knowledge to acquire through words, I had no patience or desire. After all, “I was a teenager, and I knew it all.”
Been there. Done that. Got the diploma. Time to move on.
Youth and that unchaste salute, time for deep inner reflection and strong will. I did not feel the need to collect and arrange words in the form of proverbs, epigrams, pithy sayings. I did not feel any compulsion to communicate truth thru words. I knew no truth. I had no passion. So here we now, Mrs. McGee, all these years later, and I find myself sitting in front of a screen, almost daily, doggedly and exhaustively pursing all the worldly ways I know, in the pursuit to make sense of life. As an educator, you would be so proud.
One by one, almost as if mile markers on the railroad right away, I knock them down. Hedonism. Materialism. Philosophy. Intellectualism. Religion. Most of the time, only to come up on empty. Every now and then I get lucky, one item resonates with the spirit and I get a “good job” …” I like that” … or something along those lines.
Been there. Done that. Now what?
Suit up for the game, get in there and get a hit, it doesn’t matter if it is a Home Run or not. Just that you are ready to play the game. This is gonna be a good day, I can just feel it in my bones. Sit back, relax and let your mind rest … You deserve a break today. Silver State Ghost Towns … Crank it up!
Take a trip off the beaten path.
OOO
January 17, 2011
Let Me Have A Shot At It
Yesterday during lunch a buddy of mine and I started talking about the Lottery and those unfortunate souls who play it and never seem to win, even though they hit the huge payday.
Most lottery winners are bankrupt within five years of a major payout. Kind of incredible. Which somehow, led me to this post this morning, the old “What if I won the lottery gambit” a game of chance that few of us will ever win.
I suppose when you purchase a ticket that gives you the right to sit around and fantasize about how it would be to have all that money, and what it is that you can do with it. Most lottery jackpots provide an incredible amount of chump change for someone to distribute in this day and age, like everyone else, that is why I buy the ticket, I would like a shot at it.
Most likely, I will do as others before me have done. I am going to rush out and fill my every need (whim) and I am not going to wait, I am going to do it immediately. What is it they say online … you have five items in your shopping cart … Well, with that kind of coin, you could definitely fill your cart.
My desire is not to be stinking rich, no that is not me, but I wouldn’t mind smelling bad, that would be okay.
First thing I am going to purchase is two years at one of them 14th century English castles with a full staff. Filling the place with enough Yorkshire pudding and fresh mutton for several hundred friends and relatives, which would cost a little bit extra. Now you are saying to yourself, “don’t be ridiculous, no one has that many relatives and friends.”
True. But when you win the lottery, you will be surprised at how quickly your immediate family and social calendar will grow.
For a butler I could hire that Robbin Williams guy, who was on the Lifestyles of The Rich and Famous, with a voice so incredibly loud, that wild animals stampeded just at the sound of his answering the front door.
That would be about $1.5 million I suppose.
How about some vintage wine, right now I am drinking something out of South America called Sweet Bitch, I could move up to some better stuff. I could order at least 100 cases of Romanee-Conte vintage (1985) or in other words, a truck load of the best that France has to offer. $4.1 million. Cruise around in John Lennon’s Rolls Royce Phantom V. You still may not understand “I am the Walrus” but you will appreciate the smooth ride.
About 6 miles per gallon and $6 million tops.
How about a bluff top Malibu estate, where you could sip bottled water and look down on the movie stars. Seven fireplaces, nine and one-half bathrooms (you never own bottled water, you just rent it) a little weekender to entertain your friends. $6.9 million and if it slides into the Pacific, you just back up an acre and build again. It is the California thing to do.
T-Rex skull to hang over the mantle in the living room, impress your new found friends, $8.3 million (this is a rare find). State of the art roller coaster in the backyard, about $15 million, two tracks, zero to 100 mph in seven seconds, 250 ft drop, free barf bags, and best of all …. No lines. How about your very own private island? 3,000 acres in the South Pacific, Marlon Brando is your closest neighbor, about ten miles away.
Plumbing, air strip for the Lear jet, extra. $10 million.
Half a share of a Boeing business jet (we don’t want to buy the entire plane, that would be wasting our money, better to have a partner … I am thinking Britney Spears here … No Paula Abdul) about $20 million. Never fly First Class again, you can keep your shoes on when you get to the airport, and best of all, the bedroom circular bed acts as a flotation device!
Get out the checkbook, we are not through yet, just getting warmed up. A diamond studded watch from Switzerland, $25 million. Buy enough gold to make the necklace around Mr. T. look like a starter set. Picasso still-life portrait. Maybe $30 million and you get to bid against the people who made all their money the “hard way” (WORKING FOR A LIVING) at Christies Southerby House in London.
Just walk away from the house and move to Sacramento California so you can run for the Governor’s seat, he is sure to be leaving soon $32 million. It costs a lot to buy a seat in politics any more, you all know that. About $40 million relatively speaking.
This is chump change, when you think of what it is you can steal later on, when you move up to the Big Show in Washington DC..
How about a “Sports Professional” ever want to own one of those? Texas Ranger for about $252 million and you could play catch in the backyard. Let’s see … 80 cents every second, $47.89 per minute, $2,876.71 per hour, $69,041.10 per day ….. Hey, do the math, we are talking some big bucks here.
If none of this turns you on, how about a wonderful, fun-filled weekend on a cruise liner with Carrie Underwood? $200 million. Blue skies, crystal clear water, you can sing Toby Keith’s “If they could see me now” from the 12th deck of your 490 plus passenger ship (remember you now have all these new friends and family).
It might be a little extra if you want to take old cranky Willie Nelson along.
As I am somewhat of a realist, I know that if I did win this large sum of money, it would behoove me to improve my image in the community, buy some new threads and work on my low self esteem. On most Mondays I sometimes feel akin to a 3 foot tall, poverty-stricken, homophobic, handicapped, sixty-year old Muslim Republican campaign worker with learning disabilities
It would take a LOT OF MONEY to fix that.
So there it is in a nutshell. “I am going to blow it all on wine, women and song” … and the rest of it … well, I am just going to fart it off.
Have a good week … or don’t … It is still your choice.
OOO
January 14, 2011
Modern Day Trappings
This week has been interesting to say the least, I am finding myself somewhat intrigued by this Facebook thing, is it going to go under or is it going to stay? Are those die-hard Facebooker’s going to survive or are they going to melt down into some kind of sniveling mass of humanity?
Some of us are “people kind of people” we enjoy other folks, conversation with strangers, friends, and sometimes, relatives (but not often). Facebook serves one purpose if anything and that is this. It is a shinning example of how remote and disconnected we have become in the age of communication. It is awful hard to be a people-person in today’s world. Call Waiting, Voice Messaging, Text Messaging, that is the cat’s meow as my Grandmother used to say. A post card in the mail, unheard of in the 21st Century.
“We are so busy we cannot come to the phone right now”
“At the tone, leave your message.”
“We are so busy OD’ing on Vitamin E we cannot come to the …..
Well, you get it dont’cha?”
I don’t understand why they avail themselves of all this technology only to ignore it in the end. It has reached a point where people no longer have time for people. So busy out making a life, that they miss out on life completely. I believe Brad Paisley has a song about it all, it is called “Living On Fast Forward.”
To coin a phrase, “Stop the World, I want off.”
As you age, change is inevitable and in my case, hard to adjust to. I guess, unlike the typical Okie, who lives in a fast-paced, experience-driven, multiple-option world, where choice and personal values pale beside the possibility of exposure to the latest, the biggest, the fastest, the most prestigious, and don’t forget ……. “the best” ……. or the most expensive. I am out of touch. Everyone around me is zippin’ down the Information Highway and I am here, stuck on the on-ramp waiting for a break in the traffic.
The other day, our grandson Kyle, the “teenager” (groan) was over here, and I swear, that kid got more telephone calls, text messages, than I have had in say, five years? Yeah, that wouldn’t be so unreasonable to say. He has 1,500 songs on his I-pod thingy, who in the world has time to listen to fifteen-hundred songs? He said he was streaming live something or rather, and has downloaded his upgrade five times ….. give me a break.
Surround yourself with modern day trappings, and you in the end, still have what everyone else has, not much. Never before have there been so much transmission of information and so little true communication. Innovative communications methods and machinery have been developed and embraced in the past decade, yet the human beings for whom those tools have been developed have increasingly lost touch with the art of personal communication.
One of the very reasons that the Internet took off like it did, was the bare fact, that you could do it all “anonymously” and did not have to inter-relate with anyone. Communication with total strangers and NO commitments. Face it, communication has taken on an entirely new meaning these days.
Tailor made for the American Psyche. A new American lifestyle … Cocooning … burrowing into one’s home/car where comfort and entertainment replace contact with people outside the immediate family. That is when they are not on a cell phone or some other gadget with lithium five year batteries.
Every time I return a business call, I get this line, “I am sorry, he is with a customer right now. Can he call you back?” so I give them the number and then I wait on the return call. More often than not, the call isn’t returned and the afternoon is wasted. The thing that gets me, is every time I go out there (to the business itself) someone will jump up from a desk walk across the room and inquire, “Can I help you?”
What’s the point? People don’t seem to have time for you, unless you have a dollar in your hand, that is.
“I gotta go Grandpa, I have this telemarketer on my other line. I will catch you later.”
Don’t bet on it.
OOO
January 12, 2011
It’s Bikini Season Somewhere
Winter storm rolled thru here this weekend, and it has snapped off cold, bitter cold. This time of the year always has me thinking of warmer climes, Florida, The Caribbean, Phoenix or any place over 55*F.
As I don’t feel like making any more contributions to the Oil Executives Retirement Fund (Big Oil) I am surfing the net and staying home. Found this today, if you like warm weather and smooth looking women this is eye candy for you: Hollywood Beach Bod’s.
Always something good at ABC News.
Fred Smith has a problem.
Things in Batavia, Ohio are not going his way. Fred suddenly realized that the $1,200 in cash he had been saving for his Christmas gift was missing. Grabbing his jacket out of the closet, he found that the money, all of it, was gone. This panicked Fred as he recalled, and all of a sudden he did not know what to do.
Fred Smith of Batavia, Ohio is not having a nice day.
A logical turn of events to Fred was to call, each and every single place that he had been in recent days. No soap. But God watches over us they say, and it turns out his cash was safe and sound at a little place called Walt’s Barbecue.
His waitress, Tricia Ayers had found the money in an envelope on a a table and turned it over to her boss. Fred Smith is a lucky guy, I lost the very same amount in the parking lot of a local mall one Christmas ($1,240.00) and no one held it in safe keeping for me.
Here is another one for the books.
As a high school sophomore in 1976, Jimmy Colson brought a 1923 Peace dollar, a 1897 Morgan dollar, and a 1903 Indian head penny to school to show his friends. But the coins were stolen that day from his locker.
Thirty-four years later, Colson found an envelope in his mailbox in Greensburg, Indiana, containing the three coins along with an anonymous apology. It read, “Took it out of your locker some 30 years ago.” Signed “Sorry, dumb kid.”
It would always make me wonder, who it was, their mindset at the time, and of course, I would like to tell them thanks.
You ever wonder how old a man has to be to father a child? Well, it appears that it is possible to father a child way up there. This morning during a lull in the festivities I found Nanu Ram Jogi, 90, world’s oldest new father . Having a child when you are in your nineties, is proof positive that children are God’s punishment for enjoying sex! The last thing I am going to want in my life at ninety (assuming I actually make it to ninety) is an infant.
In my case, having given this “fatherhood late in life question” some serious thought, this is what I came up with. “If we are to have a child at this late stage in life, he or she as the case may be, will have to be born 18 years of age, as he or she as the case may be, is going to have to go to work right away.”
Here is something to look forward to in the New Year. How about 11 new fee’s added to your airline ticket? Did you know that the airlines are currently collecting $700 million dollars per MONTH in fee’s. Here are a few of the new one’s they are considering.
Talking to a service rep at the counter, fee.
Changing the name on the ticket, fee.
Charging your ticket on a credit card, fee.
And my all time favorite, going to the bathroom on the aircraft, fee.
Now I hear you smirking and giggling, but it is true, I read it on the internet.
Ohhhhhh my gosh! Facebook went viral. The rumor that it is going to shut down, has people rushing to download their photo’s and treasures from the public medium before the March 15th deadline or as some say, “The end of the world, Species Ending Event for social networking.” Thru it all, one thing, mystifies me. I find it some curious that Facebook itself, has not responded to the rumor. What it is all about.
I am now off to the kitchen to pour myself a glass of Tropicana orange juice and then I am going to sit here in my Easy Boy recliner and think more gooder thoughts about Jane Krackos and of course, warm things.
You figure it out.
OOO
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