Creative Endeavors, The Home of BoxcarOkie.com

May 5, 2009

Pocket Change

Filed under: Oklahoma,Recent — ldsrr91 @ 11:31 PM
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Been raining a lot here, yesterday was the 10th day in a row, so I have been spending a great deal of time watching television.  There is a commercial currently running that I just cannot seem to grasp.  It is a Hallmark Card commercial, I like Hallmark Cards, and they seem to stir something deep inside that is an old familiar feeling.

The newer versions that have the music in them are a kick in the … well …. I like them too.  Not long ago the grand babies got me one and it was childish, immature, and it brought a smile to my old tired face.

Hallmark is alright, they are aces in my book.

Two cards that readily come to mind are the old professor and the girl who becomes a teacher (“I have misplaced my glasses would you read it to me?”).  The other is the small Italian kid, who delivers the card to the foxy older gal, and she gives him a kiss for a reward and the next day her doorstep is full of young boys.

These two commercials stand out.

We also watch the Hallmark specials that run from time to time, because we consider them wholesome and quality programming.  Out of all their programming, the commercial that would apply to me would be the old coot in the nursing home.  If Hallmark made a card for me, it would be close to the “cranky old uncle in the nursing home” that gets a card on his birthday.

In this commercial that is currently running, the wife is slipping into the husbands’ pockets a card and then later on she is shown handing him the jacket as he hurriedly leaves for work.  The kids are at the breakfast table and the pace is fast and loose, typical America.

Another rushed thru breakfast where no one is actually talking to each other, time is of the essence, and no one in the room, has time for family. Typical American faire, too busy living to be living would sum it up.

The husband scoops up the jacket, grabs the cup of coffee on the run, and heads out the door.  He then briefly re-appears with the card in his hand, embraces the wife, and then blurts out, “And I love you too honey!” or some other sappy line that escapes me at the moment.

This is the part that kind of sticks in my craw, I just for the life cannot get into it.  I know it is supposed to register a familiar chord with the man of the house, and we are inclined to respond in like fashion, but hey, let’s get real here.

This is close, but it doesn’t get any cigar.

My wife is in my pockets all the time, she has for over thirty years dropped by from time to time and rummaged thru the cloth depositories of this and that.  I can truthfully, equivocally say, that I have never, ever, received any kind of refund of change or paper money from the family laundry or the through search and seizure of coinage or bills in my pockets.  And furthermore … She has NEVER at any point in time, stuck a card in there.

She has deftly removed car keys, handkerchiefs, numerous twenty-dollar bills, lunch money, receipts, gum, candy, fun money, mad money, gas money … But never has she has never so much as left a card or note.  If she had, it would tersely read “I need you to pick up milk at the store or don’t forget the kids at daycare, I need grocery money today.”  Something tender and touching like that.

My absolute favorite has to be the Reo Speedwagon commercial.  Now there is one commercial that hits really close to the house.

The old rockers in the car, where he opens up the card and they hear the old music and they are mystically transported back to another place in time, and then suddenly meet in the middle of the car for a passionate embrace and lip lock.


That is a good commercial, that makes you smile.

This card in the pocket thing is okay, but like they say in my neck of the woods, “that dawg aint gonna hunt” it doesn’t fit, its not hot enough from a male perspective.  As we all know, it is truly hard for one to love someone who is constantly living in your pockets!

(Yeah I know, don’t write me any letters)

OOO

Cinco De Whatever

Filed under: Oklahoma,Recent — ldsrr91 @ 4:32 AM
Tags: , , ,

More rain!

Whole  bunch of hoopla concerning “Cinco De Mayo” this week.  Having never personally taking five years of Spanish between high school and college, I am not acutely aware of what this Mexican Holiday represents.  I think it celebrates some kind of Mexican war victory in some south of the border skirmish, but I am not sure.

While clearly no Dieciseis de Septiembre (Mexico Independence day) or Dia de los Muertos (The Day of the dead, another one I clearly do not understand) Cinco De Mayo has, in the United States at least, become something of a Spanish St. Patricks Day or Mexican Oktoberfest.

Now what I really don’t understand is why the City in which I live, fully supports this foreign holiday, and drinks and dinners are half-price, free celebrations all week long in the business district and all this other Cinco De Mayo crap is celebrated.

I’ll lay you six to five, parking is even free downtown.

Memorial Day goes virtually unnoticed with the possible exception of the Indy 500, or when July 4th rolls around and OUR holiday is traditionally observed, no such amenities are offered up.  Why is it in this country, we are always pandering and catering to the foreign element, but when it comes to the home grown American traditions, they go mostly ignored.  Have we been colonized to the point where America is no longer recognizable in the wreckage that used to be our country? That should be enough to heat up the email box again, but I am glad I said it.

Cinco De This

So, once again, I make an honest attempt to bounce it off someone who is saner than I.  I read this post aloud to the wife, she replies:  “Careful, your red neck is showing again” … No blog of the month award here.  But this is how I feel about it.  You see patriotism is no longer ad hoc, it is not cool to be a patriot in America anymore. We are labeled red necks or bigots when we exercise our opinions and they happen to be Pro-American in nature.  We are socially being choked to conform to the norm, someone else’s reality.

We have to be Politically Correct.

Texas A&M University has a contest concerning word applications each year, calling for the most appropriate definition of a contemporary term:  This year’s term was Political Correctness.  The winner wrote:  “Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.”

I have to agree.

Such is my dilemma this day.  What to do with this bogus, illegal foreign holiday.  Strong in my resolve, I have decided that I am going to quietly celebrate this Cinco De Whatever it is.  I am going to go by Wal-Mart grab me a mean nasty greeter and take him downtown to that new joint that opened up.

Assuming the corner of an old red-brick building, built around the turn of the century.  It was recently opened by a family of Nigerian-African Americans and Illegal Mexicans, joint effort, it is called “Not-cho-Mamas.”  Ample parking around back.

Ambiance aint much but I hear the food is just delightful.

Or I just might skip it all, and wait until the 8th of the month, when all the gay people get together for their annual “Carnality Ball” they have at the Public Farmers Market.  It is somewhat akin to a Cirque-Berserk affair (come to think of it, “holding it in a fruit market” might be totally appropriate).

Step right up, ladies and gentlemen!  Get an eyeful of the world’s greatest assault on decency, the Carnality Ball.  Deviants and debutantes, sinner and saints, exhibitionists of all shapes and sizes will be flocking to Oklahoma City to witness the wonder and spectacle while indulging in their most carnal desires.

This extravaganza of flash and flesh is not for the faint of heart.  $15 in advance, $20 at the door, VIP tickets $50.  Don’t forget your condoms.  And then they wonder why straight people don’t want to hang around with them.  We celebrate all the wrong things in this country; we know the cost of everything, but the value of nothing.

Man, I need some sunshine.

OOO

May 4, 2009

Grumpy Greeters

Filed under: Oklahoma,Recent — ldsrr91 @ 1:26 AM
Tags: , , ,

walterI want to be a “mellow dude” I really do.

I want to walk in the sunshine, to be of no great hurry on my journey through life, to stop and smell the flowers, to pause at the curb and purchase what it is that little kids are selling, even if it tastes bad, to bask in the joy that life has to offer.

I desire to pet an old dog, watch the shape of a cloud materialize and see something no one else sees.  I really want to be p-a-t-i-e-n-t.

And then I leave the house.

Yesterday I was accosted at Wal-Mart again by a door person, a greeter, a whatever, and I am still fuming about that.  My parrot ran out of food, so I had to trot over there to pick up a 14lb. bag of food for her and as I was leaving the store, this person walks up to me and barks, “I need your receipt.”

Which kind of irked me, I am tired of these so-called greeters treating me like I am some kind of common thief (I mean, who steals bird seed for cryin’ out loud?) and the words, “Please or I am sorry for your inconvenience” are clearly not in their vocabulary.  It is not the providing the receipt that is my problem, it is the manner and tone that is exhibited to me in order to produce it.

I get sick of that.

So I fished out the receipt and handed it to this bozo and I said, “You can keep it.” And then he barks at me again, and says, “YOU cannot leave this store with that item without a receipt, it is store policy.”

Which seemed to do nothing but add more gasoline to the fire.

So then I said, “Store policy huh?” and he said, “Yes, it is store policy and YOU cannot leave the store without THIS receipt.”  So I somewhat begrudgingly take the much valued receipt, stepped outside the parameters of the doorway, and then inquired of him, “ Am I now out of the store?” and he said, “Yes.  Yes you are.”

I then crumpled up the receipt into a small ball and dropped it on the ground and said, “This is my policy, I took my index finger and pointed it at a part of my anatomy and told him he could kiss it if he was so inclined.”  Which clearly did not make his day, but then again, he wasn’t adding much to mine, so I figure fair is fair.

bush-greeter

So I ask him, “Now tell me something Einstein, I just recently walked by all three of you minimum wage brain trusts, and not one of you greeted me, isn’t that store policy?”

No answer.


You enter into these stores, purchase the material and the clerk fails to de-magnetize something or remove a theft device and when you go thru the detectors and they go off, the Wal-Mart dogs of commerce go berserk.  It is almost as if they unleash a rabid pit bull into a audience of postal carriers or something.

After checking you out, they “dismiss you” without so much as a care.  They seldom ask for anything in a polite manner, bark or demand the receipt, and I may be cranky or just outright out of line, but I am tiring of Wal-Mart and the knuckle draggers they employ to work the door.  Wal-Mart can kiss the part of me that goes over the fence last; I am really burning out on Wal-Mart.

greeter-2

Just once, one time, I would like to have a pleasant shopping experience at Wal-Mart, but I kind of doubt it.

Rainy days are often like that …  I am often like that …

Sorry.

OOO

May 1, 2009

May 2009 Index

Filed under: Uncategorized — ldsrr91 @ 10:05 PM

[05-01] Lock N Load I swear this country is turning into suspicious, mean spirited, gas bags.  The really sad part is the majority of them are on radio and in a public venue.  We need to search them out and eradicate each and every one of them.  They are a scourge upon the land.  Yeah I know, “free speech [...]

[05-03] Grumpy Greeters I want to be a “mellow dude” I really do. I want to walk in the sunshine, to be of no great hurry on my journey through life, to stop and smell the flowers, to pause at the curb and purchase what it is that little kids are selling, even if it tastes bad, to [...]

[05-05] Cinco De Whatever More rain! Whole  bunch of hoopla concerning “Cinco De Mayo” this week.  Having never personally taking five years of Spanish between high school and college, I am not acutely aware of what this Mexican Holiday represents.  I think it celebrates some kind of Mexican war victory in some south of the border skirmish, but I am [...]

[05-06] Pocket Change Been raining a lot here, yesterday was the 10th day in a row, so I have been spending a great deal of time watching television.  There is a commercial currently running that I just cannot seem to grasp.  It is a Hallmark Card commercial, I like Hallmark Cards, and they seem to stir something deep [...]

[05-07] Rainy Day Blues Lot of rain this week, one location received a copious biblical amount of moisture, seven inches of it in six hours, do the math, that is one soggy bottom.  Rainy days have a profound tendency to pull me down and I yearn for sunshine.  With the rain comes lightning and thunder, no internet as the [...]

[05-18] Back in The Saddle There is something about traveling that appeals to me, the mere fact that you can get out of town for a little respite, is also a mark on the plus side of the scale.  Something about listening to the music that you want to hear on the CD player in the car, the vision of [...]

[05-19] Higher Education In the spirit of doing what I say and not what I do, one leader of the Mexican drug cartels called “The Family” has insisted that when gang members are not selling cocaine and murdering their rivals, that they attend gang-run classes in ethics, values, and personal improvement and also abstain from drugs and alcohol. Now [...]

[05-19] Inviolable Reasoning Some days are going to be good days and then some days are painful and not all that good.  Like it is when you have that small pimple on the bottom of your nostril, and you know you have to squeeze it, and at the same time, you absolutely KNOW that it is going to [...]

[05-20] Call It What It Is Ventured out yesterday for some stamps at the Post Office, did not see anyone wearing a mask over their face, so I assume the swine flu pandemic scare is officially over. Which is a good thing, especially for me, because I love BLT’s (bacon, lettuce, and tomato) sandwiches.  I would absolutely hate to see anything [...]

[05-22]  We Did It Anyway THIS IS THE EMAIL OF THE WEEK, I RECEIVED IT FROM ALABAMA OF ALL PLACES. A new state law passed today in Oklahoma, 37 to 9, had a few liberals in the mix, an amendment to place the Ten Commandments on the front  entrance to the state capitol.  The feds in D.C., along [...]

[05-25] Memorial DayI suppose a lot of folks look at this day from a perspective of a day off from work.  Maybe a barbecue or cookout in the backyard with friends and neighbors. Big NASCAR race on today, along with the running of the Indy 500, both now American Traditions. Being a vet and all, this day carries [...]

[05-26]  Graduation Time Rain on the driveway this morning,  cool and soothing, nice to have it for a change of pace.  It stirs my soul ….  As the rain beats down upon my window pane, as Mother Nature disturbs the peace of mind I have found, as the wind and rain beat so violently upon my window pane, I think of you my love, drip, drip, drip [...]

[05-27]  Red Hill Kathy is fifteen or sixteen, a junior in high school, she often works in her mama’s restaurant as a waitress, and I assume this is where she picks up her spending money.  We have talked numerous times about a lot of things, contact lenses, school, college; boys that are stupid, what movie have you seen. One [...]

Lock N Load

I swear this country is turning into suspicious, mean spirited, gas bags.  The really sad part is the majority of them are on radio and in a public venue.  We need to search them out and eradicate each and every one of them.  They are a scourge upon the land.  Yeah I know, “free speech and all that” but when it becomes downright mean, nasty and vindictive, it should not be allowed.

This week a conservative talker was suspended after blaming swine flu on the ‘millions of leeches’ from Mexico.  Conservative talker Jay Severin was suspended indefinitely by Boston’s WTKK-FM after using the current swine flu outbreak to attack Mexicans and immigrants. On his radio show, Severin blamed the swine flu on what he called “some of the world’s lowest of primitives in poor Mexico”:

“So now in addition to venereal disease and the other leading exports of Mexico — women with mustaches and VD — now we have swine flu. … We should be if anything surprised that Mexico has not visited upon us poxes of more various and serious types considering the number of cimminalieans already here.

[W]hen scoop up some of the world’s lowest of primitives in poor Mexico and drop it down in the middle of the United States. Poor, without skills, without language, not share our culture, not share our hygiene. … It’s millions of leeches from a primitive country. … Now they are exporting a rather more active form of disease which is the swine flu.”

Man, talk about garbage.  What happened to plain old common sense. Have we lost our sense of humanity in this country?

What's Next?

What's Next?

(Thanks to Jonco)

The weekend, I am ready!

Hopefully we may get some sunshine, it has been raining here and we needed it but I am ready for a little sun and some nice weather for a change.  Get out in the great outdoors, a little time away from the house and all the chores that seem to never go away.

If I lived in Massachusetts I could go fishing at lake Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg.

Now that is a mouthful …  I cannot … nor will I attempt to even try and pronounce that one for sure.  And I thought “Massachusetts” was bad, but this one takes the cake.  Lately, believe it or not, they have found instances of road signs where this has actually been misspelled.  Hard to believe, but it is true.  One example was “Chargoggagoggmanchaoggagoggchaubunaguhgamugg.” But rest assured, the signs are to be corrected.

Here is another one I found amusing.

Tourists have routinely had their picture taken at a popular tourist attraction in the southwest corner of Colorado, even I have succumbed to this and pulled in to the spot to check it out.  I have even considered leaving a geo clue there for Yogi.   Now it seems the National Geodetic Survey has found that the Four Corners Marker where tens of thousands of American’s have smiled and said, “Cheese.”

Is in fact, in the wrong spot.

This is one of the few spots in the USA where you are supposed to be able to stand on the corner of Colorado, New Mexico , Utah, and Arizona, all at the same time.  But it turns out that it is in the wrong place, it is actually supposed to be about two and one-half miles west of its current location.  Things are not what they appear to be chapter two this week.

What is it that I truly love ……… stoopid crooks.

Enter one Daniel Duran, a Houston Texas man who allegedly robbed a bank and stuffed the bundles of cash down his pants as he raced out of the bank.  Duran was later arrested and then taken to the hospital when the dye packs inside the money exploded giving him serious burns in areas we won’t mention.

I just love stoopid crooks.

Also this week, a little order in the court when an judge in Idaho duct taped a defendants mouth shut, another new use for the tape, which is know as “The Chrome Plating of the South.”

Hard call, an Indiana police officer is suing his department for firing him because he refused to be tasered.  It is the policy of the police department to taser all officers so that they can know what 50,000 volts of electricity feels like. (Something the majority of us have always wondered about eh?)

This 54 year old officer, had a bad disc in his back, his doctor recommended that he not participate in the exercise, and he was fired.  You make the call, should this have been allowed?

100-days

Today is my sixty-third day of my new laptop, and I still cannot get used to Vista and the keyboard.  It is a real pain in the part of you that goes over the fence last.  But as this seems to be the new standard for America (100 day segments) I will keep you apprised and up to date.  Actually it is a good thing for me, because my prescriptions come in 90 day increments.

While we are at it (government and all …. Nice blend huh?  Thank you very much!)

A government watchdog group has launched nearly 20 criminal investigations related to the government’s bailout.  The special inspector-general of the bailout program is focusing on alleged wrong doing by recipients of funds from the Troubled Assets Relief Program.

He is investigating cases of possible mortgage fraud, tax evasion, and insider trading, as well as an unnamed bank that he said “was cooking their books” to qualify for bail out funds.

Is this a great country or what?

Applications for open medical marijuana dispensaries have soared since President Obama announced that the fed’s will not mess with institutions that are under California law.  In Los Angeles and Oakland alone, pot is now sold openly in thousand off storefronts.  Unemployment compensation for dealers put of work has not been reported as available at this time.

Sales of wine, beer, and other alcoholic products are on the rise something like 4.8% nationwide as more and more people stay home  and do their drinking there, saving money on restaurants and bars.  I no longer personally drink to have a good time, I only drink to silence the voices in my head.

When my company asked me to give a sample of my urine for a drug test, and they found an olive in it, well, that was the end of my drinking career and come to think of it, it didn’t help my railroading career too much either.

Legal firearm sales have escalated about 27% since the Obama folks assumed the White House.  The first three months of this year, produced about four million new background checks made by the FBI..  Gun owners are afraid that the Obama administration will impose new restrictions, so they’re buying now.

I am going to change lanes now Honey …. Cover me.

Have a good weekend, we will see you on Monday.

OOO
“The cartoon courtesy of Center for American Progress” (online)

zip your lip

Filed under: Uncategorized — ldsrr91 @ 4:31 AM

zip your lip

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